View Full Version : OH, THE HUMANITY.
2003-11-26, 09:56 AM
gWell Jeremy, the gJAPANESE WOMAN MAKE YOU GO COLOUR BLINDh test match has been deleted from the record books... and cricket is the winner on the day... a real gSlice Of Lifeh match that quickly degenerated from a baseless spat down into unabandoned spasticity... and from there it only got better... why was it deleted? The actions, the REPREHENSIBLE actions of one particular poster (who shall go unnamed) who decided to circumvent wicketiquette in a most egregious manner. THAT WAS A CLAYTONfS CENTURY AND YOU KNOW IT BONGO. Way to go, BONGO. What's next, Ian? After the lunch break perhaps hefs going to gag and bind Matthew Hayden and push him in the pavilion closet?h
Here is a quick summary of the Thread That Never Was.
-Chairo opens the days play.. bright red (RED. Red like The Red Indians? Your call...) cherry in hand... standing at the Sir Bent Kockman Road end... however instead of running in.. he eschews any semblance of a gcorrecth bowling action and simply starts hurling deliveries willy nilly into the stands as the batsmen stand perplexed.
-This continues unabated for 3 days
-Batsmen resort to running through the stands clubbing inert cherries as Chairo, (like the energizer rabbit) continues his melee without ever contemplating starting his run-up.
-On and on...from Nothing to Nothing
-BONGO recovers from the boredom of a test record 276 consecutive wides from one bowler to notch his CLAYTONfS CENTURY.
-Martyrdom is aspired to.
-Umpires draw stumps to prevent Bongo from more MILOSOVICIAN CRIMES AGAINST THE CRICKETING COMMUNITY.
2003-11-26, 08:28 PM
The consumption of a bad kebab from last nights street vendor has just started to pass through the lower intestine as the lads take the field. It is going to be hard to stop the poo. The no sledging rule has just been enforced and the players have been warned. Its going to a long long day out in the paddock.
Bongo the whippet 276
Chairo - now retired hurt
Comments Mr Brockman
2003-11-27, 04:31 AM
Chris: The century that never was Brian.
Brian: Called off for bad light and too many "bent-at-the-elbow" overs. The crestfallen Brockman never had his comeback. He returns to pick up the forlorn cucumber sandwich. Chairo, off his own bat has been cautioned ( Chris : ".. and disciplined") by the umpire.
Chris: Is this the whippet's swansong? Is it a sad day for test cricket, Brian?
Brian: I think the throwaway comments to the press about Mugabe and Condolezza didn't help to garner sympathy from the umpire, Chris. Was there any follow up before being called off?
Chris: Wouldn't like to say, Brian.
Brian: There are longs shadows on the county cricket grounds this evening Chris ...
Chris: Yeah, that's because eveyone's gone to the pub.
Brian: Right. I see.
2003-11-27, 05:05 AM
and i thought i had found the meaning to life.....
....my reason for living seems to have vanished!!
.........I seek some Brockman counseling urgently!!!
.........Alternatively, if Bongo find us a new quest against the evil, I will be ready.......Hahaaa!! Shall I call you Batman and you call me Robyn!?
2003-11-27, 08:20 AM
We should seek closure by eulogizing The Thread That Never Was.
Its disappearance has left a gaping hole in all of our lives. Studio webcams indicate Chairo contributed approximately 57.876 man hours typing out his particular brand of "prose" on said thread.
It meandered pointlessly from... from what? One man seeking sympathy for his "plight" (doesn't rhyme with "flight"... as in "white".. well...maybe..).. and... it meandered bizarrely towards the triple century from there... only westspa.. heyy.. hang on... CHAIRO IS WESTSPAM! BRILLIANT. Good work Westspam. Only he could doggedly and derangedly (made-up word) drag such a frail looking ungainly contender up to such Gavaskarian heights.
... perhaps Bongo deserved the century.. such a gratutiously agile and patient display of sledging and baiting should have just reward...
2003-11-27, 08:52 AM
... or just desserts, Brian ...
2003-11-27, 09:11 AM
Brian: A challenge I hear you say, Chris?
Chris: Yeeeeeeessss. Everyone likes a challenge.
Brian: How about going to the Living Resources:General forum and resurrecting the most banal, brain sludge thread you can find with personal anecdotes and off-kilter opinions.
Chris: What you mean like that rather boring adopt a cat (http://www.gaijinpot.com/forums/read.php?f=37&i=309&t=309) thread ?
Brian: Exactly Chris.
2003-11-27, 09:43 AM
Well, I for one could be up for a wee game of "cyber-orienteering" aka "cross-country golf"... clues/questions/answers linked, scattered and weaved amongst the threads... the real challenge would be making it segue seamlessly into pre-existing dialogues/diatribes/Q@A/T@A... all without drawing the wrath of The Insect Overlord.
2003-11-27, 09:49 AM
Find an appropriate thread (has to "suit" pre-existing dialogue) in which to answer this question;
"WHERE CAN I FIND SOMETHING TO CLEAR UP THIS NASTY ITCH?"
2003-11-27, 05:32 PM
Sounds a bit tricky! Can you give us a starter for ten? A seamlessly segued example?