Gaijin "dating" scene

[Anonymous]

What is the dating scene like among Gaijin? Are a lot of them dating each other? Do most of them date the locals? And is anyone looking for more than just sex?!

[samuel]

Gaijin dating Gaijin? How UNNATURAL!
I feel ill...

[trip_hop]

"Old fashioned" must be the on-line equivalent of a dirty old man in a raincoat watching young boys and girls.

Who cares!

[Anonymous]

You might find a temporary girlfriend/boyfriend among the gaijin in Japan. I remember several colleagues who started dating one another, but whether the relationship lasted is another question. Dating among gaijin happens but from my own experience, I was much more interested in dating the locals (Japanese).

[Anonymous]

Why do you ask? Miss your sis?

[Joe]

It is my experience that gaijin men prefer japanese women, and for good reason. Japanese men also prefer japanese women for the same reasons. So, gaijin women, I guess you are SOL.

[samuel]

Thats right!

[Anonymous]

No wonder you had to get out of your country to get a date !!!!

If Japanese women date you they must be very DESPERATE.

When my husband and I lived in Japan I saw many gaijin-gaijin together.

I get the feeling there are just immature little boys on here just wishing it was true that if they go to Japan they will get some.

But...... my female Japanese friends...though very polite to the person, (that is one thing I love about the Japanese their not wanting to be involved in a bad scene) do know a loser when they spot one.

[Chris]

Really? I know so many Japanese who say, "Oh I think he's handsome," or, "She's so beautiful," when the person they're looking at would probably receive no more than cold shudders from other Westerners. But that's just my take on it :)

Chris

[Anonymous]

Hi Chris:

Yes I know many Japanese who are very kind that way.
But I also have some Japanese friends (female) who tell it like it is.

One time I was meeting a friend for lunch and she was late.
This was after I was back in the US and she was visiting, she told me she was walking to the restaurant and some man stopped her to talk and she had to tell him yes, she was happily married and finally and finally he left her alone. I said, well at least I hope he was good looking.
She said he was the Roppongi type.
I said what is that?
She said fat and bald, you know the kind that only look good in a dark bar when you are drunk !!

[Chris]

Well it's good to know. I've had to re-educate a few Japanese on their eye for attractive people ;)

[Anonymous]

What gets me is the anger that Western women have on boards like these. Stereotypes fly, like "every Western guy who dates a Japanese" is a geek or a loser... It's pretty sad that jealousy leads to insults like that.

[Joe]

Yes, some people have a lot of anger. And no sense of humor.

[trip_hop]

Re-educate a few Japanese on their eye for attractive people?!!

How arrogant can you get! And I wonder what is your taste?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and despite all of your generalisations, "Japanese", "gaijin", "Western" or whatever, people are still individuals, and hold different concepts of what is beautiful or attractive.

Many countries not far from here hold that a larger, white-skinned woman is the epitomy of beauty, and frown at the lithe, dark-skinned women that many men not native to their countries drool over.

People are individuals.

Don't ever forget that.

Trip Hop Ms.

[Chris]

Yes, that's right... re-educate a few Japanese people on their eye for attractive people (Westerners). We had a mate that looked nothing like Brad Pitt and could never be confused as such, yet some Japanese bird still comments, "Oh, he looks like Brad Pitt!" I've had the "you look like a movie star" treatment as well, when it's absolute rubbish. It is more tied to the fact that a Japanese person who is insulated from real Western people gets a bit over excited when they meet a few and starts comparing them with the popular imagery they have in the head, ie. what they take from pop culture and media. Do you disagree with that or do you actually believe all us Western blokes look like Brad Pitt?

*Every* Western woman that I have heard a Japanese person has comment on has had the, "Oh she is so beautiful/cute/gorgeous," treatment. That doesn't add up, does it Trip-Hop? Most people are not externally beautiful/gorgeous/cute... most people are average Joes and Judies and get around just fine with their personalities/charisma.

When I used the word "re-educate", what did you think I ment? It certainly wasn't a classroom activity, it was more like a barrage of, "You've got to be kidding me!" responses. I assume that *gasp* stating my own conflicting opinion with someone else's is what you find to be arrogant? Sounds like you've been in Japan a bit long if that's really what you think. I still take it as a common liberty, ie. to express yourself, speak your mind etc. If you don't, that's too bad, but I'd bet you'd be a great bore in conversation if you were never willing to speak your mind. People disagree with each other, and I'm sorry, but I don't make it a habit of keeping my views, which may oppose someone else's, a secret (unless it's entirely inappropriate).

As to the rest of the message, who are you talking to? I certainly haven't made any big generalisations about Japanese/Westerners/gaijin. To generalise about the above would mean that I really had only heard a handful of Japanese people say such things. Well that isn't true. Bucketloads of them have the attitude (and conveyed it to me) that Western people are all beauties. I met one girl who said, "I don't like the look of Western men," which I found to be a highly individual opinion... hats off to her! Likewise to the girl Jenna was talking about.

What I don't understand about your post is why are you talking about "individual opinions" in the same breath as "what people's opinions are in x countries"? And yes, I'm well aware that different countries have different images of beauty (as do different generations of people), but most of the people I interacted with in Japan were *paying* me to learn about what I and other Westerners thought (that includes what we may perceive as attractive). Western culture does have fairly easy guidelines for what's hot and what's not (I'm not talking about the fashion industry by the way - skeletons with skin hanging off their bones are not every guy's fantasy). I generally agree with it and, therefore, I'll tell people the same.

Chris

[Anonymous]

Japanese women: thin and kind.

Foreign women: not thin and not kind.

Any questions?

[Anonymous]

no way!!!, I'm foreigner (Indonesian) merried w/ japanese I'm kind n slim!
I know many slim & kind foreigner!

[Anonymous]

Its lucky for the likes of Shaum that Japanese women are"kind" (feel sorry for ya more like) all this crap I read about foreign women sour grapes I imagine cos youre too damn ugly to score with em, youve been dumped, ignored and (lets face it) ridiculed in your own country because I imagine you most likely look like a sack of arseholes and have no idea on how to satisfy a woman! Now you hate western women , pitiful my friends, very sad!! I get the impression from threads such as these that Japan is crawling with sweaty repressed misogynists. Japanese women are welcomed ... more fool them I say!!!

[Anonymous]

Wow, Helena you sound really, really nice. You sure have proved Shaum wrong when he said foreign women were unkind.

[Anonymous]

Helena,
could it be that youre too damn ugly to score with those men who may happen to feel closer and more attracted to Japanese women? Have you been dumped, ignored and (lets face it) ridiculed by some of these men who, whilst living in a foreign country surrounded by gorgeous women with a strong curiousity for foreigners, didn't pay any attention to you? I imagine you most likely look like a sack of arseholes and have no idea what drives men away from women like you. Now you hate these men, so why not pull the old "you're too ugly to score anyone other than a foreigner" card. Pitiful my friends, that such deperate women would let out such a desperate cry for help on an internet message board!! I get the impression from threads such as these that Japan is crawling with angry, jealous western women. I hope you find happiness in a western man who never quite made it as far as Japan.

[Anonymous]

.. obviously hit a raw nerve there! Isn't it shocking. A woman who isn't kind and nice and charitable!! Harden up and get real in your attitudes about women ... Japanese and Western. I expect no problems with socialising in Japan, but then I don't hold any misguided assumptions about Japanese people. So yes.. I suppose that makes me unkind! I know a sad chump when I see one... and sorry to say I suspect the japanese girls will as well.

[Anonymous]

No it's not really shocking that you're unkind, fairly predictable. I think your have a few of your own raw nerves being hit here, otherwise... why would you be so angry? and why, in fact, do you care what 'loser' gaijin guys do with japanese girls, if these guys are so far beneath you? It doesnt really make sense, please explain.

[Anonymous]

Go home.

[Anonymous]

Ahh yes the old Western women vs Japanese women conterversy.
First off - to Helena, when I was in Japan, my girlfriends and I (gaijin and japanese) we had a saying...

Zeros to Heros

In fact we used it so often in refering to the men who if in our respective countries wouldn't be touched with a ten foot pole that we reduced it to a zero sign then followed by the thumbs up sign.

A Zero to Hero is a man who sure, we judge completely on looks at first. They're a guy who as no resemblance to Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise (even though the polite and over generous japanese flatter them with saying so) and rates a below 5 on the 10 scale of cuteness. (Oh and don't get all high and mighty that I'm judging on appearence if I can remind you one guy posted Japanese girls -thin, foriegn girls - fat.) Still the handsome challenged men have no shortage of female attention in Japan, one of the perks, you have to agree.

Then there are the other Zeros to Heros that are players, handsome perhaps yes but they use there smooth techniques to put as many notches on there bed post as possible. They live here too in Canada, although I would say we're on to you. The same may not be said of Japanese girls.
These guys gross me out, use and abuse because it easy to do in Japan. And I said Players - so don't all the nice gaijin men get upset if you don't do this, I'm not refering to you. Also I would like to say, you probably haven't had to console a crying japanese girl because she doesn't understand that the gaijin who showed her so much attention, flattery, affection and hasn't called her in a week and half, only wanted to get into her pants.

If you find asian women attractive great, but gaijin women bashing? Just shows you may have an ax to grind. The real truth is if you scratch the surface of all that japanese conditioning, you'll find the japanese woman has the same needs and complaints as every other women in this world.

[Anonymous]

Oh and forgive the unreadable "In fact" paragraph it's 5:30 in the morning from pulling an all nighter writing an essay - my handle on the english language is being sorely stretched tonight.

[Anonymous]

Japanese men are losers of the world.

Western men and white men in particular are the pinnacle of evolution.

You all suck!

[Anonymous]

hmmm how refreshing - White Power
Ku Klux Klan anyone?

"Western men and white men in particular are the pinnacle of evolution"?? Oh well, who wants to say HI Hitler! come on rexie boy Hale Hitler because the white supremacy crap you just spewed out was his type of talk.

[Anonymous]

Not really, Hitler wouldn't have said this, Japan and Germany fought on the same side, but I know what you mean.
Let's just forget about mister 'rex t' if that is your real name, I think it's for the best since his words hold no value.

I agree with Lalee that white women also get attention, sure, but I think this is a given for women in every nation on earth, particularly white women.

The situation is simple, just because you deem a guy to be a 'zero' - that is only in your eyes. Your system of 'points of cuteness' proves itself to redundant in Japan, because it is a stupid, narrow-minded system.

I agree with your sentiments against 'gaijin women bashing' - and agree, gaijin guys should just enjoy the situation and have fun. I think the gajin women bashing exists 1. because some guys were 'zeros' back home and treated badly. they are just giving the medicine they used to get served. 2. gaijin women often are resentful about the situation, often angry, frustrated and they often start the conflict.

[Osakan]

I think a lot of the resentment expressed by Western women regarding the dating scene in Japan is actually misconceived. That foreign men typically take up with Japanese women shouldn't be understood as a slight to Western women. It is, rather, the product of two circumstances:

1. Assuming you DON'T discriminate by race in looking for a partner in Japan, The statistical likelihood is that your partner will be Japanese.
2. Japanese women [or men] are in a position to offer their foreign partners all manner of practical assistance that a foreign partner wouldn't be able to give.

Neither of these things should sensibly be understood to suggest that foreign women are being "snubbed". I'm not sure why so many foreign women choose to interpret it that way. One only has to look at advertsising in Japan to see that [rightly or wrongly] this society yearns for a white Western ideal of female beauty. Perhaps foreign women should be a little more receptive to Japanese men, they might be surprised at the extent to which they are desired.

[Tokyoite]

Right on, Osakan!

As a Western woman, my main reaction to the phenomenal success of Western men with Japanese women is, "Live it up, boys!" Why should I begrudge them their fun?? Apparently there are a lot of white girls out there who feel bitter about the situation. Check it out: bitter is not attractive!! Also, girls, we have to recognise that fashion standards are different here. The Eddie Bauer look that might be OK in the USA is not going to score any points here. If you want dates you really do have to break out the cute shoes and lipstick. I am sorry to say that being overweight is also out. I don`t feel myself to be in competition with Japanese girls, but I do feel it necessary to look as good as they do! Finally, if you want to date a Western man, you`re in the wrong country! There are lots of lovely Japanese men out there who are not only willing but eager to date Western women.

[Anonymous]

Tokyoite

You know your stuff and I'm sure many gaijin over there would love to date a woman with your attitude. You wouldn't want men who dress like women and a lot of us don't like women who dress like men.

Maybe it is sexist, but a lot of the Western guys who end up liking things so much in Japan do so because the women there make a real effort to look good. How can some overweight, sweatshirt-wearing, blabbermouth from LA compete with a lady who knows how to use her femininity to her advantage.

Japanese women are leaps and bounds ahead in that regard. Maybe the US was like that in the 50's, I dunno... But the J-girls know what they want and will do what's necessary to get it.

[Anonymous]

Sexist, "maybe it is sexist" that's what I said... now that was ironic... Isn't differentiation of the sexes the whole point when it comes to the man/woman thing?

We are talking hetero here, not homo.... Be a man, be a woman. Don't deny it. That's what we want! :-)

[Osakan]

As I suggested before, this is all about statistics.

It's a terrible accusation to make, and I'm certainly not suggesting that it's true of all foreign women, but I think many foreign women here DO discriminate; they don't seriously consider relationships with Japanese men.

In this society, limiting yourself to foreign men is statistically comparable to a Californian woman's limiting herself to dating men called 'Dennis'. Her choice, but she shouldn't be surprised if there are empty nights in her schedule. If you're so choosy as to dismiss 99.99% of eligible men, you've really no warrant to complain then that YOU are being snubbed.

[Anonymous]

So from reading this. Being an Aussie gal in Japan I might as well not venture out of my unit into clubs because I will be scorned by both "gaijin" and Japanese guys? Is it true that Japanese guys/people freak out about stature? So a tall blonde fun girl like myself will have no social life in Japan? Is that what you lot are getting at?

[trip_hop]

Stephanie
Just be yourself, and see who you meet.
There are many nice Japanese guys out there, away from their companies, mothers and friends. But they do like you to look like a woman. And they invariably dress smartly like men!
Keep an open mind, go out and have fun.
Trip Hop (Ms.)

And to mirror some of the men writing in here; if you want a bit of fun, try and meet a Filipino guy. Latino machismo and romantic passion in a compact, English-speaking Asian body, nice combination! I can understand why their ladies are so popular.
;-)

[Anonymous]

"Being yourself" is only going to work if you are thin, cute, sexy, play the game and don't have a chip on your shoulder.

I met a tall, thin, (bleached) blonde Aussie bird (7 of 10) in Yamanashi-ken. She was gawked at because of her height and every Japanese guy seemed to be hot for her, but they never made a move -- she intimidated them, not with her personality, but her height and foreigness. She was actually a nice person. In the end though, she was very western and would never have let a Japanese guy be a guy -- she was looking for a Western male in a Japanese and that's rare. She left after a year.

If you are hot there will be a Western guy who will date you. I dated a Slovakian bird and it was quite nice, though she was not well adjusted to Japan, having been tricked into being a stripper instead of a singer... There's a lot of that, J-pimps and Eastern-European pimps cheating these girls.

Anyway, stick to Tokyo if you want to be stuck.

[Tokyoite]

In a way, Ren, you are right. Girls who are naturally ALL THAT can "just be themselves." The rest of us have to work a little bit at being ALL THAT! But that`s the same everywhere in the world (and it`s the same for guys, too). It`s all about making an effort! You can`t just slop out to a club in jeans with a bad attitude and go, "Urrrh. This is me. Love it or leave it!"
In another way, however, your attitude is problematic. "If you are hot there will be a Western guy who will date you"?!? What`s that about? So Western guys are first prizes that we might just be able to win if we`re gorgeous? As I said before, Western girls shouldn`t even be trying to date here unless they`re interested in Japanese guys (statistics, as Osakan said). And personally, I prefer to date ambitious, intelligent, genuinely internationalized guys who like their jobs... i.e. NOT English teachers! If you live in Japan and you want a man who`s ALL THAT, girls, odds are he will be Japanese!
So Stephanie, my advice is to hit the clubs with a smile! Being short myself I don`t know if being tall would be a problem, but hey, on an average day here I see almost as many men over 6` as I did in the USA. And if some dorky gaijin tries to hit on you because he has struck out with all the Japanese girls in sight, pretend you only speak Slovakian. :)

[Anonymous]

Funny, but I did definitely notice that most of the western women (let's say 90%) on the JET program with me were vocally not into Japanese guys or, after a couple of months in Japan, were no longer into Japanese guys. Very very common are the western women looking for a sympathetic ear... oh, my boyfriend back in Canada.... Aussie guys.... wai wai
Most Western women who come to Japan, leave within a year and bi--ed and mo--ed most of the time when the subject of dating or sex came up. How do I know? Because I met a lot of them while on JET. Conversing over two years with probably 30-50 western women on buses, on the way to an orientation or meeting for JET, those are my conclusions.
If you don't like them, it's not my problem.
BTW Tokyoite, you are one of the few fairly well-adjusted western women AND an exception to the rule.
But, Stephanie, if you're still reading this, you'll probably have to find out all of this for yourself. I bet those "geeky gaijin" will start looking pretty "hot" after several months of cold lonely nights.
God Bless Supa Dry!

[Tokyoite]

Ren, I know I`m an exception. That`s why I started posting on this site. I want Western women to know how much fun they CAN have in Japan!
I suspect however that it`s all linked to whether you can speak Japanese or not. I started studying my a-- off as soon as I arrived. Japanese is NOT really hard to learn, and it makes all the difference in the world.

[Anonymous]

I know that in Australia one must make a decent effort (in terms of attire and appearance). I know when up for a good night you don't wear baggy jeans and a tracksuit top. Just think I will probably have a slightly different experience than most western women because I am going on university exchange. I have been warned that people in general will be a bit cautious around me. I love going out and drinking and dancing to the wee small hours I am a pretty outgoing person and I like Japanese people. It is just from reading the messages on the board that gaijin men and women are mortal enemies once they set foot in Japan. The two stereotypes conveyed are frumpy riot grrls with a chip on their shoulder for the women and for boys here they are the geek that always liked you in highschool but you wouldn't look twice at but now in Japan assume brad pitt status. I am not paying anyone out it is just the vibe I got that's all. I leave for Japan in 9 days am going to Shimonoseki! I know I know "inaka!"

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you'll be a star in Shimonoseki, Stephanie. Good luck and have fun!

[Me]

A thought provoking topic. Thanks, it was interesting. As a foreign woman travelling to Japan mid-year to work, it is interesting to hear all these different opinions. There are of course bad ones, but the good ones remind me that life truly is what you make of it.

Stephanie, good luck. I hope it is a great experience for you.

Cheers.

[Anonymous]

yaro ka?

[kate]

just reading through some of this stuff and it scares me! I have heard stories about western men and why they love Japanese woman and some of these comments confirm it. I have to say your comments were so encouraging that there are some people with a brain and a good attitude. As an Australian who is soon to be a part of this dynamic in Japan and someone who has spent a bit of time in the country for holidays, I have to say I don't believe it is as bad as it sounds until I read stuff like this.

[Joey]

Hey guys, well I think Lalee pretty much hit the nail on the head!! I mean who says that this sort of thing only happens in Japan? Also are all foreign men playboys? Are all foreign women playgirls? The answer to that I think would have to be no! I am an Australian male, and by no means do my friends (Australian and Japanese) think that I am one of those "bald, fat looser gaijin men"! I don`t mean to bost here but hey I am not a Brad Pitt either! I have no wishes to be a Brad Pitt here in Japan! Ofcourse I get all the nice comments like "kakoii and he`s so hansome!" But hey, I don`t walk around thinking that I am some kind of god or something! That isn`t what I came to Japan for. I probably have just as many Australian women friends as I do Japanese women friends , I don`t go out to clubs solely to pick up some nieve girl! I go out to have a good time! I like mixing with friends and meeting other people, learning the hidden words of the Japanese language. Yea, I always see some fat guy trying to get onto some Japanese girl and maybe some Brad Pitt look alike trying as well! But who cares?!! I certainly don`t ! The same goes for a gaijin woman, if she is trying to get onto some Japanese guy then good for her! I don`t care! You can`t tell me you don`t see this sort of thing in your own country!! Hell, if you haven`t then please take a trip to Australia! Or America or anywhere! Thats not what Japan is about, we should be here experiencing this unique culture and not abusing it by filling these people with false ideas of the western culture!
When I first came here I had all of these images about Japan and Japanese people, but sadly most of them were false, if you really want to experience the culture then get out of the city and go to the country. It is completely different! But I guess if you want to live with other foreigners looking at you as if you are some kind of looser then stay in the city! Foreigners come here to experience something that is not in their own country, if that happens to be making it with some beautiful Japanese woman or some rich Japanese man then so be it! Who cares? This is not our country, so enjoy it while you can. From an open minded Aussie.........Joey......

[Chris]

Just wanted to say to Lalee and Helena:

Yes, there is a different way of rating guys and girls in Japan. I don't agree with it all that much, and I let them know, but really, their perspectives are no less valid than yours. If you call someone a zero and a Japanese girl calls that same guy a hero, do you think you're more right?

I've known good looking built blokes to have a harder time with the Japanese girls because they seem too intimidating. A lot of them go for "gentle and kind" types which (some of) you Western girls seem to think far too uncool (I'm guessing the zeros are these types because it's usually the built blokes who get the girls where I'm from).

There definitely are guys who didn't score well back home who become *famous* when they go to Japan, but then there are also a whole lot of bitter gaijin girlswho are pissed off that they're not getting attention of the Western blokes (who are busy chasing the natives) or the Japanese guys, who are too intimidated by the mannerisms of some Western girls.

I will say one thing though... Western chicks can hold their ____ a lot better than Japanese girls... and that has to count for something :P

Chris

[Anonymous]

Our day to butt heads I guess

"If you call someone a zero and a Japanese girl calls that same guy a hero, do you think you're more right?" Hmmm do I think I'm more right? Well the Japanese girl has every right to go out with a Zero. How's that?Unfortunately, Chris you may have been in Japan too long because individual opinion does count for something. If I think the guy is a Zero then the girl is dating a Zero in my mind. Who is the better judge Chris..hmm I wonder..The girl who was born and raised in the same culture to you, who went to high school with Zeros...who have perhaps dated one, who can pick them out 50 paces away and are glad that they are. Or the Japanese girl who has been socialized in a completely different way, went to school in uniform etc. She may see her gaijin version of Brad Pitt in her foriegn goggles, but I see a guy who wouldn't get a girl half as pretty back home!

"I've known good looking built blokes to have a harder time with the Japanese girls because they seem too intimidating. A lot of them go for "gentle and kind" types which (some of) you Western girls seem to think far too uncool (I'm guessing the zeros are these types because it's usually the built blokes who get the girls where I'm from)."
Ya ya whatever...I'm not big on muscles. Sounds like your a little insecure about it though!...As for the gentle and kind types..hehehe CHECK IT out Chris - that's a code word for "easily controlable" Have fun painting your girlfriend's toenails sweetie.

And last you comment...ahh back the Rotten, Dominant, down right SCARY western girls that don't know how to treat you kind and gentle dearhearts who's dollish Japanese girls make them feel like really BIG strong Men.

"but then there are also a whole lot of bitter gaijin girlswho are pissed off that they're not getting attention of the Western blokes (who are busy chasing the natives)"

<b>Don't Flatter Yourself </b>

[Anonymous]

Hi Lalee,

You've completely contradicted yourself in the first paragraph. Allow me to be specfic:

First you say
"Unfortunately, Chris you may have been in Japan too long because individual opinion does count for something. If I think the guy is a Zero then the girl is dating a Zero in my mind."

Fine so far, but then you say:

"Who is the better judge Chris..hmm I wonder..The girl who was born and raised in the same culture to you, who went to high school with Zeros...who have perhaps dated one, who can pick them out 50 paces away and are glad that they are. Or the Japanese girl who has been socialized in a completely different way, went to school in uniform etc."

So tell me Lalee, how can you lecture me on "individual opinion" and then attempt to point out the flaws in a Japanese girl's opinion, implying that your wonderfully superior Western upbringing could not allow you to be duped into dating a zero? Also, did it ever occur to you that the same can be said about "Zero" Western women getting Japanese guys who are obsessed with having a Western girlfriend?

As for myself, I go through phases of being built and lazy. Usually winter I get back into weights and swimming. In Japan the gyms were too expensive so I only went running. It looks like my observations were correct though, that a lot of Western girls are hung up on appearances. Afterall, you can spot a zero 50 paces away (how wonderfully mature that is), so without getting to know them, already knock them off as a zero. Most Japanese girls, whilst sometimes superficial in other ways, do not seem to share this particularly shallow trait. I'm probably as hung up about my fitness as you are about your height and waist size.

I'd also be careful about saying things like this:
"She may see her gaijin version of Brad Pitt in her foriegn goggles, but I see a guy who wouldn't get a girl half as pretty back home!"

The same holds true for Western women who pick up Japanese guys. These guys were born in the same culture as the Japanese girls, who you claim are incapable of spotting zeros. Maybe they see their own Julia Roberts with their foreign goggles, but I see a girl who'd only get a root on Halloween. These are the types of girls who are usually the "ugly friend" back in their own countries, and as such, have come to Japan by themsevles as mid 20s virgins. Then some Japanese bloke, sick of paying to be with gaijin hostesses, finds he can get an easy shag from his very own insecure Western chick, and bam, a "wonderful" relationship follows. See how easy it is to flip that around? I know of two such examples where I lived in Japan, but in reality, I'm happy for them. I'm just showing you how easy it is to be nasty and bitter (something you've picked up quite well, I'd say) if you put your mind to it.

"but then there are also a whole lot of bitter gaijin girlswho are pissed off that they're not getting attention of the Western blokes (who are busy chasing the natives)"

<b>Don't Flatter Yourself </b>

I'm not. You girls have built that reputation up for yourselves.

By the way, just to bring you back to Earth and show you that you may not be as "capable" as you think, I'm not in Japan anymore. This has been made plainly obvious by my IP address. Another tidbit of information: Here in Australia we generally wear uniforms to school. What a joke that you think this is somehow a sign of weakness.

Chris

[Joey]

WOW! Well said fellow Aussie! oi! oi! oi!

[Anonymous]

Well that's all I'm going to say on that, because F**K ME, I said way to much already! :D Shows you how exciting today was for me [it's raining and I can't get to the beach :(].

I was just thinking though... girls in most countries get going when they meet foreigners. In Australia, girls LOVE American and British accents. Likewise, England and America, Aussies tend to do well with the British ladies. It's amazing that Western girls then go to Japan and criticise Japanese women for doing exactly the same thing as they do back home, AND, at the same time as thinking that Japanese women are too silly to work out what an attractive male is, assume that Japanese men can work out what an attractive Western woman is.

Bah anyway, I won't be able to post here for a while after tomorrow, so I hope you enjoyed my contributions ;-)

Chris

[Joey]

Take it easy mate! When the weather clears up catch a wave for me too! Wish I on the surf now..............Enjoyed your post`s though, they gave me a god laugh! Catch ya.........Joey.....

[Anonymous]

We've had loads of sharks coming in chasing little bait fish schools lately, and they have been coming in close to the shore (chest high water!). They had helicopters out buzzing over the ocean to scare them off, but they've been coming in quite a lot. One of my mates saw one swim about 2 m behind him, but it wasn't terribly big. Still, it could take a nice chunk out of your leg! The sharks and the weather have kept me away for nearly two weeks!

Anyway, take it easy... if you live in Kansai, I guess you could get down to Shirahama! They shipped in tonnes of beach sand from Australia (we've got plenty to sell ;-)). It's coming up on summer over there so it'd be a good excuse to get down there!

Anyway, take it easy mate,

Chris

[Osakan]

Chris,

your contributions to this thread have been consistently interesting, but not without their own inconsistencies.

You take issue with Lalee's claim that she is better able than a Japanese woman to assess the attractiveness of a Western man, "You attempt to point out the flaws in a Japanese girl's opinion, implying that your wonderfully superior western upbringing could not possibly allow you to be duped into dating a Zero."

That seems fair comment in itself, but earlier in the thread you claimed (and later exhaustively defended the claim) that you ARE better able than Japanese people to make such assessments, "I've had to re-educate quite a few Japanese on their eye for attractive people." You're able to do this, you say, because, "Western culture does have fairly easy guidelines for what's hot and what's not......I generally agree with it."

Well, for Heaven's sake, Chris! Which is it? Do you consider that there IS a 'by-the-numbers' means of assessing the attractiveness of a Westerner, and that Japanese go wrong to the extent that they deviate from it? OR, that Japanese asessments, though sometimes diverging from what might be the typical Westerner's opinion, are nonetheless quite as valid?

[Anonymous]

Osakan,

You missed out a vital component of my post:

"Yes, there is a different way of rating guys and girls in Japan. I don't agree with it all that much, and I let them know, but really, their perspectives are no less valid than yours. If you call someone a zero and a Japanese girl calls that same guy a hero, do you think you're more right?"

Well I don't think I'm more right. I know what I like and what I don't, and I will tell people that is what I think. I don't claim that I am a BETTER judge, which Lalee seems to do when she says:

"Who is the better judge Chris..hmm I wonder..The girl who was born and raised in the same culture to you, who went to high school with Zeros...who have perhaps dated one, who can pick them out 50 paces away and are glad that they are. Or the Japanese girl who has been socialized in a completely different way, went to school in uniform etc"

Of course I will support my own opinion, but I have never presumed it to be BETTER than other people's opinions.

Additionally, you seem to have skipped:

"When I used the word "re-educate", what did you think I ment? It certainly wasn't a classroom activity, it was more like a barrage of, "You've got to be kidding me!" responses."

So no, I don't agree with what a lot of Japanese think about "beauty", and yes I tell them what I think. On the other hand, I see their opinions as no less *valid* then my own.

I hope this clears things up for you. If you read the posts in their entire form, your questions will be answered.

By the way, I think you post dated 03-11-02 12:17 was one of the most sensible posts in this entire thread.

Chris

[Anonymous]

What an entertaining bunch of posts!


I'll be going to Japan this summer for six weeks and plan on moving there to study eastern metaphysics after i finish up my degree in a year or so.

Being that I've never been to Japan, the ongoing debate on this thread has given me much food for thought.

Although our views of reality, beauty, etc. are subjective--this thread certainly proves it, there is one important thing here that, if memory serves me right, has not been mentioned or examined.

We're all just people!

It seems simple, but the tragedy is that I have to constantly remind myself of this basic fact.

As for the like/dislike, beautiful/ugly, love/hate dualisms of this thread, they can cut you deep and hurt you terribly if you are at the end of someone wielding them towards you. I know.

Therefore, when I go to Japan, I've promised myself to be kind, respectful, and accepting of EVERYONE I meet there: fat, old bald guys; brad pitt guys; gaijin and locals alike. I won't be suprised if it is not reciprocated, but you know, that's ok too.

We have more in common than we have differences.


ta,

Andrew

[Anonymous]

I have a hard time comparing a tiny thin japanese girl with Marilyn or any of the icons of twentieth century. Face it, blond is beauty, How many international fashion models are Japanes? One, and she's half. How many Swiss, German, American, Brazillian? Tell me you wouldn't take a stunning blond over any shrimpy losers ?

[Anonymous]

Well, I would gladly take a young Elle MacPherson, thank you very much -- would you like some Leonardo with your Brad Pitt burger? Where is such a restaurant and who gets to make orders like that? No one I know.
So why not go out there and do the best you can and have fun with that? Why waste your time worrying about the people that are having fun, when you could be having some fun yourself?

[Anonymous]

Hold on sec

The blond is beauty thing...ahh hum...whatever
Shrimpy losers....Emily...what?!?

Listen just because western beauty icongraphy has infected every nation like a plague thorough movies and commercials and the like, doesn't mean it is the standard of beauty. I mean how are we suppose to live with that standard, when much more than half the world isn't isn't it. Even more narrow a standard doesn't have a chance in hell of looking like Elle Macpherson, including westerners. Like Ren says we have to make the best of what we have. Plus women should be challenging that narrow that standard of beauty, there a thousand of women getting surgically altered to achieve it...eeeeyuck. It's so gross. Beauty is worldwide!

As Andrew said in his last post

"Although our views of reality, beauty, etc. are subjective--this thread certainly proves it, there is one important thing here that, if memory serves me right, has not been mentioned or examined.

We're all just people!"

ahem to that.

[Anonymous]

i have to totally disagree with Emilys posting. i am a white guy and no i dont buy that blond is beautiful crap. speak for yourself, i'll take a japanese girl over a blond anytime. i also think the average asian is girl is more attractive than the average caucasian girl by the way. the odds are more in their favor for them not to be fat,have bad skin, and whatnot. they are almost always thin(i dont mean waif) and have incredibly smooth skin/nice complexion. i think many men would agree, especially the ones that live in asia. Emily, you are clueless.

[Anonymous]

I hope you got the jist of what I was saying in my earlier paragraph, it was very badly written but good thoughts.
gbc I'm glad you dig asian women and yes most of the guys living in asian like asian women, funny how that works out ;) ;)

[Anonymous]

I guess if you are an average person, than good for you! I made a lot of money when I lived in Japan. Here in the US, I think I am considered "attractive" but I modelled and hostessed inJapan. I am 5'10, weigh 135 lbs, have very good skin (although it burns in the sun) and I have a boyfriend who lived in Japan and whom I rescued from there. Lalee, I agree with what you are saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is important to have fun you are right, but I actually MADE A PROFIT. And isn't that what Japan is all about? I'm just looking at all of the magazines, adverstisements and the like. Japan is probably the mose materialistic, consumer driven society on Earth, and believe me, I used that "standard" to pay off all of my school loans, buy a car and generally have a rocking time when I was over there. I initially went as an "english teacher" but found it so much easier to use my Texan "exotic" looks to scam the system. I'm not exactly endoursing it, but I get tired of these chat rooms with all of these super nerds putting down what is currently the "ideal"- especially in Japan! I noticed there are no Southern boys writing in? What do y'all think?

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. As an Asian woman from California (now living in Japan), I have a few comments of my own.

To Joe: you wrote, “It is my experience that gaijin men prefer japanese women, and for good reason. Japanese men also prefer japanese women for the same reasons. So, gaijin women, I guess you are SOL.” What exactly are these reasons you mention?

To Shaum: I'm not fat. Guys back home hit on me, and when I came to Japan, it was pretty much the same. I'm not trying to boast - I just want to say I disagree with your assertion that all foreign women are fat and unattractive (Everyone here thinks I'm Japanese by the way, both the foreigners and the Japanese). By the way, *most* of the foreign guys I've met could stand to lose a few pounds too, so it's not only the women.

I'm not mean either. I'm polite to strangers, and of course I'm kind to a guy I like. Maybe the foreign women you met didn't like you. I cook for my (Japanese) boyfriend and do the little laundry he leaves at my place. On the other hand, he cooks too, and washes the dishes and cleans my room in the morning while I sleep. So much for the idea of chauvinistic Japanese men who don't do anything kind for their girlfriends/wives. A lot of guys seem to think that Asian women are kinder or more submissive. I can tell you right now that's b.s. They are no kinder than Western women, especially behind closed doors. Besides, any guy who wants a submissive woman has to be pretty insecure himself.

But to each his own, right? Really, there’s no need to ridicule anyone, i.e., the so-called “zeros” or the Japanese who are with them. As for the Western women who supposedly get ignored here, the dating situation is not nearly as bad as some men make it sound.

[Anonymous]

Ok, GBC, in order to be attractive to you I have to start saving because I have a lot of work to do! I have to;
A. Shrink 6-7 inches. Cost: Not yet clear, but I can have bones removed and then replaced
B. Get a breast reduction- I couldn't find any size D bras in Asia, I am assuming B is standard. I used to have to order mine from abroad. Cost: Approx. 2000$
C. Loose my butt, maybe add that curve to even out my legs, which are much thiner than the "average" asian girl. Approx. 3000$
D. Dye my hair black and probably cut it, nobody in Japan seems to have blow shoulder length hair. Approx. 100$
E. Change my green eyes to brown. contacts- 200$
D. Loose my muscle tone- as an avid athlete, I've heard that toned muscles are "unattractive" and unfeminine. Now I will have a less toned, more "waif-like " look. Expense: A lot of laziness and drugs.
E. Get my skin to that yellow color- which I could do by tanning- just ask the kokogaru. 100$ for tanning sessions
F, Get rid of my high chekbones- sorry to my Cherokee and Lakota ancestory which made me think I was worth more than that to begin with Aprrox.800$
G. Enlarge my nose, flatten my face. Can run from 2000-2500$.
E. Get rid of my annoying "round eyes". Eye surgery is about 1000$
F. Start dieting- obviously being simply " the correct weight" is not good enough for you- at 5"10, anything more that 120 is too fat, right? Can be anywhere from 1200$ or less, depending on your coke dealer.
G. Get rid of my straight teeth- 5 years of braces were such a waste, eh? Maybe I should start dying them brown, instead of the whitening I have been doing for years, women should never open their mouths anyway. LEss than braces- which run 5,000$ and up.
Now will you love me?
It will only take a few thousand dollars worth of work, and any plastic surgeon would die to do it- because it is THE EXACT OPOSITE of what they are usually paid to do, but if it means I can have a date with you ----
And then I will be attractive to men in Japan!

[Osakan]

re: 'C' Thank heaven your "legs are thiner (sic) than the average Asian girl", it would be near impossible to buy pants if things were otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I've said too much.- and y'all know I can't spell, but I hope I've made my point. I wish I could meet all of these guys face to face at a bar- what a trip!

[Anonymous]

emily - you've got over-inflated opinion of yourself, and your post is a fairly mindless, racists rant. Nice negative stereotyping there. Your post is basically this - japanese girls are unnatural, unhealthy ect - compared to your superior althetic western body with high native-american cheek bones - maybe you should start your own fanclub, cos sure as hell no ones else is gonna start it. What a strange message you have - it is unnatural for white guys to find japanese girls attractive.

[Anonymous]

>As for the Western women who supposedly get ignored here, the dating situation is not >nearly as bad as some men make it sound.

so far there have been three women involved in this thread, and not one has been complaining about the dating situation, only the attitude of the men who claim that the situation is dire for women ... what first hand knowledge do you guys have about the sitch for women in japan??

[lisa]

I have been reading all these posts and find them interesting. But all I can say is that I really want to meet a Japanese guy and I am American with blonde hair and blue eyes. I go out but no Japanese guys ever talk to me. How can I get guys to talk to me?

[trip_hop]

The Japanese tabloid news last week reported that many younger Japanese men prefer to directly buy sex from "fuzoku" places than try to establish meaningful relationships that may lead to a full sexual relationship. It may go part of the way to explaining their inept social skills, which apply to both Japanese and foreign women. Combine that with the formal business culture and need for 3rd party introductions, excessive reliance on faceless email and impersonal mobile phone conversations, and you have a recipe for loneliness!

Trip Hop

[Anonymous]

Lisa, do you speak Japanese? I think that this is the most important point when you are trying to meet Japanese men. I dated several Japanese men before I met my current (Japanese) boyfriend and NONE of them spoke English (or any other language). And they would have died rather than embarass themselves trying to speak English. So, if you do speak Japanese, show them that you can by asking them or someone within earshot a simple question and they will be very happy to start a conversation with you. They are dead afraid of making a fool of themselves in front of a foreign woman - and maybe their buddies as well. In my experience, the language barrier is the biggest obstacle for Japanese men.

[Anonymous]

Once I heard that gaijin guys are restricted to go to "fuzoku". Is that true? Are there any guys have tried fuzoku? I'm very curious.

[Anonymous]

Lisa & Kit

I strongly agree with Kit's opinion. Actually, there are many Japanese men are attracted by women with blonde hair, blue eyes. But many J guys have complex on speaking English or other languages. I guess that's the major problem for foreign women to make relationship with Japanese man. J men tend to avoid to socialize with gaijin people cause they're afraid of making mistake when speaking in English (don't want to look silly). As for me, I've been dating Canadian girl and she speaks Japanese fluently so I've never talked with her in English.. But if you speak Japanese, you should ask female J friend (you have japanese friends, right? )and take her to some public places like a pub or a cafe and talk with her in Japanese (it doesn't matter if you're fluent or not). Some guys would be interested in you..and you'd meet some good one..maybe.. :-)

[Anonymous]

"I initially went as an "english teacher" but found it so much easier to use my Texan "exotic" looks to scam the system"

Exotic Texan? Isn't that an oxymoron? I mean, how meat & potatoes can you get? As for the rest of your boringly racist post, I guess it fits the stereotyped image I have in my head of airheaded hostesses.

Chris

[Anonymous]

Lisa,

First of all, let's get one thing clear: are you seeking a serious relationship or just wanna have sex and some fun? If it's just sex you are looking for, you will probably not experience any problems. Just make yourself as pretty as you can and smile at some cute guy. You don't need much knowledge of Japanese language, you don't have to be beautiful (the only thing they'll probably notice is the color of your hair and the shape of your body, anyway) and you can behave like a gaijin. Enjoy!!

Unfortunately, things are not that easy for those of us who are into serious relationships. First of all, we are a rarity. This world is full of white men who prefer Asian women, but it is still considered an oddity for a Caucasian woman to actively seek a relationship with a Japanese man. So don't expect your family&friends to understand! If they do, that's really great, if they don't, just ignore them. After all, it's your life!!

1. The first thing to do is to find a guy you like and who seems to have some interest in you. Of course, it's hard to tell whether a Japanese man likes you or not because they don't show their feelings in public as much as westerners do. Sometimes they will appear uninterested because they are shy and sometimes you don't know whether he is being so kind because he likes you or is he just being polite? Anyway, if you have any Japanese friends, you probably already got at least partly used to this differences in behavior/communication between Japanese people and Westerners (especially Americans!!) so this shouldn't be that much of a problem. Just keep smiling, be nice when you talk to him and sooner or later you will find out.
Of course, everything is much easier if you speak Japanese. Not only can you two communicate better and avoid misunderstandings, but it is also a great language to ask somebody out for the first time because it is so easy to refuse such invitation very politely and without the other party feeling too much stress. Japanese is a great language to avoid conflict and embarrassment - use that to your advantage. If you are still not sure what to do, try consulting some Japanese friends that you trust about it. They can probably advise you what to do or even help you get better aquatinted with that man!
Of course, it may happen that he approaches you first and you won't have to think about all that. ;-)

2. The first date should be rather informal. Don't expect too much too soon. Here is some advice:

Smile. Be nice. It is probably better not to ask too personal questions. Try to appear non-threatening - chances are he's slightly nervous because he doesn't know what you might do (most Japanese seem to think foreigners are unpredictable and prone to doing/saying embarrassing things).

Be yourself. DO NOT try to be Japanese (this might be difficult if you are in love with Japan, but do your best!)
Try to achieve a balance between just acting natural on one hand and respecting Japanese culture with all it's taboos and restrictions on the other. It's a bit difficult at first, but hopefully you'll get used to it.

Be aware of cultural differences. For example, looks really matter in Japan. Japanese people seem to be quite obsessed with their appearance (and that of the others!) so dress well.

Another thing to remember is that it is not acceptable in the Japanese society to express physical affection in public. Save your passion for the private moments!
It is also probable that he will not talk about his feelings much, at least not directly. That shouldn't be that much of a problem, since you'll have to learn to read subtle clues anyway. :-)

[Anthony]

Damn, reading all these posts makes me want to maybe not go to Japan to teach "conversational" english. Currently I'm 20 and have three more years of school left, I was planning to head to Japan after college for a year and then maybe somewhere in Europe before settling down in the states again....After doing much research on Japan and people's exeperience it seems as though everyone has to _____ about something...everyone seems so damn trivial. It seems like there are some nerds infatuated with a culture, along with a rare number of people who seem reasonable and sane. One thing I think that is hilarious in this forum---Everyone mentions how white men want Japanese women, what's the deal with that? The way I see it, if someone's cool and interesting (and decent looking at least) I'll give them a shot. Do people need to associate themselves with something from another culture because they don't think they don't fit in to their own??? When it comes down to it everyone is the same...culture is just the small differences we have when we go about doing the same things as everyone else. Another thing that pisses me off are all these people hating on white men because they go out with Asian chicks....@!#$ man I've dated mexican, spanish, czech and a german girl.......and currently am going out with an asian chick. But I never looked at any of these girls for what culture they came from, only for what they were: good people. So my advice to all these haters is to chill, and just go with the flow

ps if someone asks me again if "asian girls are the best in bed" im going to knock them out, you don't how many ignorants idiots here ask me that everyday...

people=people
Anthony
Chicago Illinois...to be in Japan aprox. three years

[Anonymous]

I have to say I agree with the above writer.

The Gaijin Woman vs the Japanese Woman controversy has been around so long it's tedious!! Does it matter? It's a personal thing and people are allowed to make choices right?

I agree that Japanese women IN GENERAL do tend to give more attention to their appearance. I have changed the way I dress since I came to Japan in order to
"fit in". Call this "shallow group conformitism" or call it "adapting", I think it is important to notice the way in which foreign women in another country present themselves to the opposite sex if you wish to gain some insight into the "dating scene" in that country, or how to go about meeting someone.

It also depends on if you are here long term or short term. If you are here short term, I imagine it would be a little surprising the way Japanese girls dress up just for a coffee with their best friend... but after spending a year here, it becomes one of those things you do along with everyone else.

Some foreign women complain because they see western men with Japanese girls and the "attractiveness level" is way out of proportion. I used to do this too... but let's remember it can also be the other way around. Fair enough there are some Japanese girls who think that any foreigner is attractive and you may not agree with that, but I agree with those that say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". There is no universal rule for "beauty", and unless you know that person personally, it is wise not to make harsh judgements like "he just wants a Japanese chick etc".

I know an American guy who has a Japanese girlfriend who is extremely good looking, yet he would be the average Joe in the West. But he is one of the nicest, kindest guys that I have ever met. Beauty is more than skin deep.

One of my friends has a Japanese boyfriend who is very attractive. She is British, short, plump and would probably not be seen as "attractive" back home. Her boyfriend is bombarded by slim, tanned young Japanese girls all the time, even when they are together. It goes to show - don't judge a book by it's cover!!

Gaijin women who want a boyfriend here in Japan - get out there and try dating a Japanese guy, or look for a western guy. There are PLENTY of guys both Western and Japanese that are willing to date you.

What I have learnt, is that as a girl in Japan, it does not matter what nationality you are, it is how you PROJECT YOURSELF that matters.

Get out and have fun!!

[Anonymous]

Everybody's bitchin' about something! No longer can we maturely speak our mind, because even if we do such a thing with no ill intensions, someone's gonna jump on us and preach like they're the enlightened one!
Be careful, because if you post anything online, someone is going to find something politically incorrect about it .

I enjoyed reading the well written opinions of some users, but the preachers should get of their pedestals.

On the other hand, some of us just plain can't speak maturely!

Now, I didn't mention any names, or reference any threads... so don't go getting pissed off because you think I'm complaining about you -- unless you know for sure!

[Anthony]

Aussie Girl,

fitting into another culture...if you live there is not "shallow". Everyone wants to belong...this can't be seen as a bad thing unless people completely revamp themselves including there personality...I expect myself to change when I come to Japan...perhaps in the way I act, because I am sure Japan is a much different place then the states. That doesn't mean that I will become a completely different person, I will have to respect the culture....just like females who goto muslim countries wear hijabs---to be accepted, and to respect the traditions.

You are right...this thread seems very tedious..hehehe!! I don't give two shits who someone dates, what nationality they are or anything like that.

Maybe I'm of a rare viewpoint, but I believe people are people...chinese, American, Australian whatever...we just do the same things a little differently....

Anthony
Chicago, Illinois
USA

Very bored at work...8 hours to go =(

[trip_hop]

Anton - you'll find similar words in a number of posts by me around here - from a couple of decades of working around the world. For many people, it is their first time working overseas, hence the reaction or shock, but when you have lived in a number of countries, it just becomes another place!

Life is what you make it!

TH

[Anonymous]

I agree that to attempt to follow the social mannerisms and behaviour of a country's people is not "shallow", but I get the odd remark sometimes from other foreigners who are not so eager to adopt the Japanese way of life.

I think, and this is my own personal opinion, that a foreigner has 2 choices in Japan. You can either immerse yourself in the culture and the language - following the ways of the people, or you can keep a distance between yourself and the environment that you are in. As a foreigner.

This can be a very hard choice to make. Some people I know have immersed themselves totally in the culture and have no problems. Others find this too stressful...feeling that they are losing their "home culture".

Then there are those who keep a distance between themselves and the culture of the host country from Day 1. This does not mean that they do not appreciate the culture of the host country, they appreciate it without taking it in as a part of their self.

It's a very complex topic, and I would love to hear the opinions of those that have had such experiences.

[muzza]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading ALL of the messages that have been posted on this site.

Kind regards,

Muzza.

[Echo]

You're right, Jeremy. It's an endless, vicious cycle that I find at once amusing and depressing.

First, there'll be gaijin men who only want to date cute Japanese women. Then some gaijin women will balk at the different "beauty castes" and declare that the men wouldn't be looked at twice in their home countries (not admitting that they too would bask in such attention when given the chance). The gaijin men will call them superficial for judging them on their looks (not admitting that the color of their skin is what initially attracted some Japanese women to them in the first place). Then they'll go on to claim that Japanese women are more beautiful/charming/etc. and that gaijin women are just plain manly. Gaijin women will feel insulted and continue to insist that gaijin men are afraid of strong women and too concerned with superficiality, all the while calling said men ugly, pathetic losers.

Okay, so none of us get to be morally superior beings who only like the insides of people. But we should at least have the scruples to realize when we're being hypocritical. All I can say is that I wish people would be more concerned with what's before them, rather than what's on the other person's plate. If you don't like it, don't blame it on everyone else and try to ruin/criticize their good time. And if you *do* like it, don't be a smug jerk about it.

[matt]

I kind of feel like a dork for spending my afternoon reading an electronic bulletin board rather than interacting with people in person, but I'd like to share some anecdotes. After all, I think that is what makes information swapping interesting: telling other people your experiences and stories (not just talking about opinions and making judgments).

First, I am a 27 year old male from Seattle. I came to Japan 4 years ago on a homestay. Because I graduated from a Jesuit college with good connections, I was hired to teach English at a private Jesuit high school in Kamakura. I was ecstatic about the living and working situation (you have to admit, getting paid well for teaching English is very nice and the subject matter is usually a breeze). But then came the real shockers: being avoided by Japanese people. To this day, it still mystifies me. They are curious and friendly when one gets to know them, but if you're a stranger, forget it. It is very hard to break down the wall that separates a single guy walking around Japan and all the hordes of people moving past. I know, Caucasian guys are generally popular in Japan, but that does not guarantee anything, save for a few ephemeral glances. Maybe because I don't live in Tokyo, the opportunities to strike up a conversation are fewer, but I can't tell you about all the times I have been given a cold stare when I say "hello" to someone I don't know.

To fill out the situation a little more, here are a few points. 1) I speak Japanese, but I'm not fluent. I studied for 4 years in college and can get around. But it doesn't matter that I speak Japanese when I try to meet people, they still seem taken aback and embarrassed to be seen talking to me. 2) I don't drink much and avoid the bar scene. This affects my social life a lot, but I still firmly believe that if Japanese people want to meet a foreigner, and not just practice their English, then the presence of alcohol should not make or break that inclination. 3) I am what most people consider handsome. I think I'll draw a lot of flames for saying this, but I'm just trying to give you my story. I did modeling in Seattle and really do look like it.

But sometimes that is the rub right there. People here seem much more comfortable talking to someone who is not blond-haired, blue-eyed, and handsome. I have had people be so skittish around me that mothers of students won't look me in the eye during parent-teacher conferences at school, school girls will run across the street (in the opposite direction) when I walk by, and women I'm interested in just say, "Oh, and how many girlfriends do /you/ have?" Sound like heaven? It's not.

"Why?" you ask. Well, the reason is because, in my experience, this is a land of
stereotypes. I get put in the "foreign guy, really looks like Brad Pitt" character mold and they won't let me out of it. The roles are decided before I even meet a girl and if she sticks around to talk to me, she just assumes I've got all the ladies on my tip. But, irony of ironies, the opposite is true. But no matter what I say, they won't believe I'm hard up for a date. That is the permanence of Japanese stereotyping.

So, here are the anecdotes: my first girlfriend in Japan (I've managed to find 2 in four years) constantly thought I was cheating on her because of my looks. I couldn't convince her otherwise and had to really watch myself in order not to incur added suspicion.
My second girlfriend said to me outside a Kinki Kids concert in Kannai, "There, look at all those female fans. You know you could have anyone of them, don't you?" God damn, what an absurd thing to say! But it is consistent with the above.
Japanese teachers at the high school where I work refuse to help me with personal problems because they assume everything comes easy for me here. If I ask about a word in Japanese like, "Nanpa suru" they immediately assume I'm out scamming women and should be ashamed of myself.

So, there are a few stories about my life in Japan. Sorry if it sounds like Bill Gates complaining about a scratch on his Mercedes, but the impressions and prejudgments that are made here are severe. And, I'm starting to cynically believe, the social skills of most people border on dysfunctional. Regardless of the fact that I can't get a girl to talk to me, people assume I have a harem back at my apartment. Regardless of the fact that I want to make friends and learn to live in this confusing country, people (including colleagues) offer very little sympathy and guess I've got it made because of my looks (what's that got to do with getting my health insurance sorted out?). And, regardless of the fact that I just want to share a little aloha spirit and say "hi" to my neighbors, and to strangers, when we pass on the street, people think I've got a hidden agenda.

What can I say? Learn the ropes, tie the knots, hang the process.

P.S. And there are no waves at the damned beach!

[Anonymous]

i am sure you are stunning, a goddess probably but you know the reason western guys are captivated by japanese women is because of a little thing called personality, japanese women are loyal ,polite, dont bust your balls ect. i am not saying looks arent important but at the end of the day you cant relate emotionally to a pair of tits or a set of cheek bones. tits and curves are nice but if ther is a snappy, moaning, sarcastic _____ behind them it aint going to last long
so long

[Anonymous]

So whats a Gaijin girl to do? I feel I generally am a nice person...I try to be kind, but I speak my mind and I sure as heck am not gonna let any one push me around. If I have a bad day, I wanna complain or cry or both. If Im happy or hyper I wanna let all my emotions show! But try as I may, I cant hide my true feelings, and I cant act all sweet and kind if Im not feeling that way! So, I guess I can never be a Japanese girl....but.....whats a girl to do? Personally, Id rather be with someone who I knew was being herself and honest. (not saying Japanese girls arent, because all my friends are Japanese, but I think they are less inclined to tell when they are unhappy with someone) Whoever I end up with, I think he will be a good enough man to want to really KNOW me. And I hope he'd complain if he really needs to too!
PS. Probably the reason a lot of gaijin girls are complaining here is because you all with your smart/rude/unnessesarily mean commnets! So be NICE y'all! Cant you have a decent converstaion??

[Stu]

Show yar tits darlin! hhehehehheh

[Anonymous]

I think I noticed more people complaining about complainers than complainers themselves =). So, I guess that makes me a hippocrite complaing about the complainers that complain.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 22 year old guy who just graduated from college and I'm thinking about going to teach for a year in Japan. Honestly, one reason I want to go IS the women (which is why I started reading this). But, what I want to know is what's so wrong with that?

I'm not looking for a serious relationship - although who knows what might happen - I just want to have a good time. I want to travel and check out some different cultures, and experience women of all kinds too. Does that make me some kind of sleaze?? I've never cheated on a girlfriend and I don't lie to get laid. I think I'm just a normal 22 year old who wants to have some fun, and in my experience a lot of girls in their twenties aren't much different than I am. And that probably includes Japanese girls too..

Too many of these posts make it sound like these evil white guys are just using these poor kind Japanese girls who have no idea what's going on. That almost sounds racist to me.. What are they, fragile little porcelain dolls that need protecting? Now, I've never been to Japan, but I can't believe that Japanese girls are all that naive. I'm sure a lot of the Japanese girls just wanna get laid too. People are people, no matter what race OR gender they happen to be.

[Anonymous]

It has nothing to do with race, but a lot to do with culture and society. You will find that in general, Japanese girls are fairly naive in their early 20s, so I personally think that foreigners should be considerate of that. A lot of what we talk about as teens growing up doesn't get mentioned (particularly amongst girls) amongst Japanese. Now my experience of Japan was more rural, so go to Osaka or Tokyo and you could quite easily prove me wrong, but if you take a look at a Japanese and a Western edition of say Cosmo, the Western one delves a whole lot further into sexual topics than the Japanese one. This is a small example, but it should give you a general idea as to the difference in knowledge on certain topics. It's about exposure. I guess you'll work it out once you've been there and met more Japanese girls.

If it were a race-based judgement, we'd be saying it was genetic. It's not. The truth is that they are simply brought up in a different society, which in the case of relationships and sex, seems to have a lot of similarities with the 1950s in the West (manga porn and all associated naughtiness will contradict me here, but this is more the realm of boys - my gf's never seen more than a few pages of one).

I'm not sure if your post is genuine in your belief that Japanese girls aren't as naive as you've heard, or if you're simply building a case for "she only wanted sex too" after getting laid. I didn't meet many girls who were only interested in shagging, quite the opposite, but again, I wasn't living in a big city. Just don't assume that because our society has dumped sexual crap on us since we grew our first pube, that the Japanese must have been brought up the same way. It simply isn't true.

Chris

[Anonymous]

I don't think Japanese girls are a naive as you make them out to be. (And yes, I've dated quite a number of them.) There are naive ones out there, of course, but no more than anywhere else I've been. And there are some rather non-naive ones as well; look at all the schoolgirls selling company and sex to old men.

I do find that Japanese girls are far more likely to maintain certain illusions that western women might not. It's not that she doesn't know the guy she's picked up in Roppongi that night is a playboy, it's just that she doesn't want to hear it said out loud. Naive Westerners might misinterpret that. :-)

cjs

[Anonymous]

Actually when I go to Japan I look forward to not being hit on!
I have been constantly hit on since I was 14 years old, going to the mall, eating at a diner and just walking down the street I always got some guy running up to me and trying to talk to me and give me his number.
I became interested in Japan when I was a child. My uncle married a Japanese lady and she was my favorite aunt. She got me interested in Japanese art, flower arranging and taught me some of the language. Later I took Japanese language courses. Now I am going to Japan at the end of October for my company.
I will probably be there for a year and I look forward to being able to pursue my life without anyone bothering me! I just hope it is true !! (that no one bothers with gaijin girls) To me that would be a blessing. :-)

[Osakan]

Rest assured, you'll have no problems.

[Anonymous]

Thank you Osakan ! I am happy to hear it !

I want to dedicate my life to learning all I can to help people and then later hopefully get married !

My boyfriend asked me to write this and he is very relieved too !

Peace and take care :-)

[ineigenshi]

Joe says

> It is my experience that gaijin men prefer japanese women, and for good
> reason. Japanese men also prefer japanese women for the same reasons.
> So, gaijin women, I guess you are SOL.

Sumimasen! We are not. I am a gaijin woman. I like Japanese women (and lots of other women, and men). Joe, you and I are in the same Japanese-women-liking boat. The competition's just a little more intense than you guessed.

[Anonymous]

japanese,americans, phillipinos, australians, chinese, british, white, black,brown, yellow, pink, brown, ultraviolet, gay, lesbian, monkeys, horses, bananas, apples, gimps, hippies, ninjas, fat women, thin women, dwarfs, serial killers, dangerously obsessed japan crazed freaks & social outcasts............................WE JUST HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER,..... TOGETHER!!!!...... IN TOTAL HARMONY.......we have to all meditate together, join our hands and say " WE WANT PEACE AND TOGETHERNESS.....FOR EVEr!!!!!!!!"

WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!

who's with me?

[sofy]

you still in japan?
would liek to talk with you if you dont mind
Im a canadian gal who just moved to japan,i would like tips ^-^


thanx


sofy

[Anonymous]

Whoa, Osakan, I just wanted to tell you that you were wrong about J-guys ! VERY WRONG!! but ya know what, J-guys are cute !!! Well, I guess it's time to break up with the b'friend. LOL.

You should get out more, you might learn something new (because your advice is wrong) !

I LOVE JAPANESE MEN !!!

[Osakan]

Reva-Ann,

I'll confess, I'm baffled.

When you first posted you were seeking confirmation that you wouldn't be pushily hit-on in Japan, because you'd grown sick and tired of this happening in the States. My experience (strictly as an observer) has been that Japanese men are very hesitant about approaching Western women. You say that isn't so. I'm surprised, but gladly yield to your experience.

What really has me confused is that, contrary to what was implied in your your first post, you seem to be pleased to find that you're as much in demand here as you had been at home.

What do/did you want?

[Anonymous]

I remember my first time in Japan... a J-guy was screaming "DOROBO, DOROBO"... So I asked to my dad the meaning of that word and he said:- shut up boy and keep on runing..."
Just kidding...
but unlucky for me; someone stole my bicycle I left at Higashiura station located in Nagoya, and Im not kidding this time... Now I cant sing "Bicycle, bicycle, I want to race my bicycle... ring ring..." by Queen... and I have to walk 10 minutes to get the station... thax 100% しーT...　(If u know what I meant to write, to not to write @!#$)...

But... my request is... to someone from Nagoya, gotta be an girl... can any girl steal my heart..?
How sweet...

[Anonymous]

someone censured my S. H. I. T. by @!#$

[sofy]

message to REVA ANN

sry cannot find your add,
think you got me wrong,
i like jp guys too!
Actually fiance to a jp guy,hes a sweetheart!!!
:)

[Anonymous]

SOFY... R U CONNECTED? HIT ME BACK RITE NOW IF U CAN

[Sean]

I'm a European guy and have been living here for 4 yearswith my gaijin girlfriend. Believe it or not, I have no desire for Japanese women. They vary a lot and some have great personalities and have become friends of mine. But really, how can anyone ignore their bowed legs, pigeon toes, facial hair (particularly the sideburns?), crooked teeth, black gums and inch-thick make-up? I still fancy my girlfriend more than anyone else I've ever set eyes on and although she's got a wonderful slim but curvy figure, bright blue eyes and long, wavy chestnut hair, she thinks she is ugly and compares herself negatively with Japanese women. She's actually become a little obsessed with her weight (British size 10-12) since coming here. Not surprising as it's not always easy to get well-fitting clothes. She can't see how gorgeous she is even though I catch so many Japanese men ogling her. I just want to say that I understand how tough it must be for gaijin women in Japan, they are often made to feel inferior to the local women. Different strokes for different folks - that's fine, but lets not brand all gaijin women as being fat, spotty, badly-dressed and mouthy.

[Anonymous]

Sean,

It's good you're so attracted to your g/f, but in the end of your message you say, "let's not brand all gaijin women as being fat, spotty, badly-dressed and mouthy", but aren't you in the earlier section of your message branding all Japanese girls/women as having "bowed legs, pigeon toes, facial hair (particularly the sideburns?), crooked teeth, black gums and inch-thick make-up"? My Japanese g/f sure doesn't look like that. Maybe you're hangin around the wrong part of Japan or your love for your g/f is blinding you. How do your female Japanese friends feel about your description of Japanese women in general? Perhaps you should tell them all how you feel. Also, it's funny that you put that long description right after you mention your friends. The use of the pronoun "their" could mislead your friends and get you into a world of troubles. Take care......and may God have mercy on your soul.
All women are beautiful. Go beyond the appearance and understand the multitude of treasures that are under the skin.....cuz one day everybody will get old, and although appearances depreciate faster than American cars, personalities will stay with you forever.

Rutsu.

[matt]

Too right Sean, those sideburns are gross. I once got stubble-burn from making out with a Japanese chick! My only excuse is that it was dark.
I think there are lots of really pretty J girls, but must agree that the number of bandy-legs, black gums, etc. is very high. Those kind of J girls are like mopeds - fun to ride but only if no one sees you.
I'm no oil painting myself and well-aware of it. Just giving my two cent's worth.

[lisa]

Hey, I'm a lonely white girl. How can I get a man?

[Tony WaNg]

Lady, you go to this site http://www.geocities.com/asianprince213/

[Anonymous]

Ha!Harrison J.Funk is right! except that I won't join hand with a serial killer tho..
You all are too busy analysing! Gaijin and local both can be wonderful and can be total jerk . Just get out there and start a conversation with someone, gaijin or local.Get to know them in person. Get real!

freesagi

[Anonymous]

yes, tomorrow, go out, start a conversation, get to know somebody!

but, first, tonight, go look at this site: http://www.geocities.com/asianprince213/

I might turn bi

[Kent Brockman]

Tony Wang, it`s you! You are The Asian Prince! Ohmygod, welcome to gaijinpot!

[Tony WaNg]

keep on rockin in the free world you crazy muthers.

[Anonymous]

LOL! I think he look like some Hindu Gods!

[Tokyoite]

Ladyhaired. Yet facial haired. Stand to, all hands! The hermaphrodites have grappled us & they're trying to board!

Actually, Tony, it's mad cool that you have the confidence to put yourself about like that. Would that we had the chance to see pix of EVERYONE who has contributed grizzling, groaning, pompous and/or sententious comments to this thread!

[Anonymous]

Why do I have a feeling that Tony Wang isn't really who he claims to be? I've seen homepages like that before...they're freakin hilarious!! There was one devoted to this one ___-faced sorry SOB and it was great!!! Hope you keep updating your site, WANG!

[Tony WaNg]

peopl of the gaijinpot. if you are to look close at the sight of the asianprince. you will see that their is no statment that will read " I AM A MAN CALLED TONY WANG" this is because this man is not TONY WANG and because TONY WANG did not making this sight. I am having no time to make sight, I AM AN INTERNATONAIL BUISNESS MAN WHO DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS. i was only try to help a lady who is all alone and she is looking at picture of Tom cruze and she is crying "OH...IM SO SAD AND LONLY....WHY CANT I BE FINDING A MAN LIKE YOU ???" to have a man . THAT IS ALL I AM TRIEING TO DO!!!!

[Anonymous]

ok ok Tony,calml down....poor Tony, c'mon everyone! he is just trying to help a lady...
But Tony you see, people in the gaijin pot think if you wants to intoduce a guy to this lady,you might as well introduce yourself to her! That is why everyone think Asian Prince is you! further more your name is Wang (sound Asian),so don't be upset, it is just a ( understandable) misunderstanding.. LOL lol lol lol lol lol

[Tony WaNg]

I dont want to be introduced to any lady at the moment. i am havin no time to be listening to loving songs and holding hands and walking in the side of a river when it is dark. IAM HAVING NO TIME FOR IT!. besides i ahve so many wimen they are always chasing Tony but im bored of the women. Always they are havin silly giggle and talkin about brad pit and chocolat and they say "OH.. THAT IS SUCH A PRETTY FLOWER....CAN I HAVE IT TONY?" and I say "OK WOMAN....... YOU CAN HAVE THE PRETTY FLOWER.........IF IT WILL SHUT YOUR FACE UP FOR JUST ONE SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". sorry if i am a nasty but i had very bad experence with last wife.

[Kent Brockman]

Did you "misplace"her in Lawson`s frozen food/ice cream section?

[Anonymous]

OH I AM SO SICK............ALL I AM TRYIENG TO DO IS GIVE MY ADVISE TO A LADY ON THE GAJINPOT AND MR KENT BROCKMAN IS MAKING VERY BAD COMENT ABOUT TONY WANG. what sort of world is it that we live WHEN A HUMAN BEEING CANNOT FEEL FREE TO GIVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEEING SOME LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING.. what sort of world is it MR KENT BROCKMAN?????YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY!!

[Anonymous]

Hahahah....get over it, Mr. Wang. You know that site is a bunch of BS anyways. Just look at the pictures....what kind of idiot goes to used car lots and takes pictures of cars? How come there aren't any pictures of the Asian Prince STANDING NEXT TO his car? You couldn't introduce a woman to him... you don't even know him.

[Kent Brockman]

Mr Wang I`m sorry for insinuating you "misplaced" your dear wife in Lawson`s frozen food/ice cream section. Even if you are not the Asian Prince, I think we would all benefit from your wisdom if you would elaborate on the "very bad experence" you had with your last wife.

[Anonymous]

SHE DID NOT DISAPEER IN HOKAYDO FOREST MISTER KENT BROCKMAN!!!

[Anonymous]

Hahahah....you guys are hilarious =)

[Tokyoite]

Let's all thank Tony (docter of sceInce Oxford School) [sic] for posting the straightup FUNNIEST messages on this site. The rest of you guys sometime amuse and sometimes irritate me. Tony makes me laugh out loud. More please, Dr. Wang!

[Kent Brockman]

This Gaijin "dating" scene thread has grown insanely long. This newshound is of the opinion that we would all benefit from Mr Wang`s ruminations on the subject.

"HOKAYDO FOREST"? Lawsons? This newscaster smells a story... A fishy story... A Lawsons outlet beside a forest near a small Hokkaido fishing village? The pieces are coming together... Mr Wang, you must clear your name. Where was your wife on the night of the 5th?

[Anonymous]

AAAAAAAAAH ...MY COMPUTER DOES NOT WORK PROPER.........THAT CHINESE WOMAN WILL DIE FOR THIS.............IF IT COSTED HER 1 MILLIONE POUNDS FROM ENGLAND THEN WHY DOES IT NOT WORK PROPER!!!!!

Mister kent bockman, my wife did not dissaper in hokaydo forest and it did not disaper in small hokaydo fishing ship. on the time of the 5th my wife is probabley in north Kazakztan becase i sent it back to her slum village becase she was not "18 YEAR OLD SEXY MODLE LOOKING FOR HUSBAND" like it say in the advert. she was a old and fat lady who looked and smells like a goat and who did not no how to cook anything but pottateos becase that is the only thing they eat in there slum village. so i took it to hokaydo and gave her 500yens and say "WOMAN....I AM SICK OF YOUR FACE....PLEASE GO BACK TO YOUR SLUM VILLAGE" and i drive away. that is all i did.

[Kent Brockman]

BROCKMAN, BROCKMAN, it`s BROCKMAN, not "Bockman". You don`t want to know what happened to the last internet clown who defiled the Brockman family name.

BEWILDERED KAZAKSTAN WOMAN ABANDONED IN NORTHERN JAPAN BY ASIAN BUSINESSMAN" is the headline we`re thinking of going with. Any objections? In your words "that is all i did".

How in the name of Mayor Quimby`s harem will she find her way back to her slum village in "north kazakstan" FROM THE JAPANESE ISLAND OF HOKKAIDO? I hate to be the one to break this to you Mr Wang but THEY ARE 2 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES.

Oh the humanity!

[Ophelia]

I have been reading the posts here and all I can say is that I find them quite amusing.
First to the gaijin girls: Just go out and enjoy yourselves. It doesn't matter if you are thin, fat, tall or short, blond or brunette. To a decent guy, japanese or gaijin, that he will be interested in you such things will be irrelevant. If you are a nice person with a personality to match sure as hell he will find in you all the things he is looking for in a woman. All the relationships I had with people that were attracted to me on a superficial level were over before they even started. So, if people judge you from the size of your ___ or your height...Who cares? Would you like to be with that person in the first place? Life is small and you have to live it up. Go out and enjoy yourselves and let me tell you: Not many people can resist a woman with an appetite for life.

To the gaijin men: benefit from the fact that Japanese women are after you like you are the best thing since the Beetles. Even if you stay in Japan for ever, they will be time when you are going to be old and I don't think that Japanese women in their 20s will be interested in a middle-aged gaijin with wringles and lovehaddles.

Peace all around and spend your energy on positive thinking.
And by the way, I am not an oil painting, I can hardly speak the language and since I arrived here I had my fair share of gaijin and Japanese boyfriends that treated my like gold.

[jotty]

Damn, well said, I second that!

Tony Wang, Mr Business Man Sir, I sincerely hope there's someone out there taking good, good care of you....
And hell, your first wife got you under false pretences, i totally support your dumping her! That'll learn her!

So where is it that the ladies can find a Business Man such as yourself Mr Wang, I have been looking for such a long time.....?

[Anonymous]

I have been in Japan for the past 10 months. I am a gaijin girl. I just did the japanese proficiency exam in Fukuoka. And after living in an area that is not populated with many gaijin I was shocked at the freak factor on the subway. Both men and women. Like do they look in the mirror in the morning? IT is harsh but I am used to seeing the ultra trendy J-Boys and Girls. I have had some fun with japanese boys, they are nicer and not so bloody macho. Tony Wang you are hilarious. You should be on TV.

[Anonymous]

I just took that test, too. I can relate. I also don't usually see a lot of gainjin. They always make me uncomfortable, anyway, but the heard of them that was coming out of the station and grazing to the test spot that morning was freakishly scary.

[Anonymous]

deer Missius Jotty,
if you are to find international men of business such as mister Tony Wang then you must open youre eyes and smell the fresh air around your face.You will not find an international business man such as Tony Wang by going to the gas panics every single nite of the year (maybe this places are full of peoples such as mister kent bockman who are loser and will never become a man and will always become a child). Neether will you find a business man like Mister Tony Wang by goiing to the Half Moon sexy health club turning first rite from bonobashi subway station in yokahamo evry wendsday nite at 9.30 in the evening. In order to find a real man, a man of high class such as Mister Tony Wang then you must firstly learn to think in high class. I cannot tell you where i will be becase of unproveed alligations resulting in F.I.B phonetapeing of mister Tony Wang but i did not buy six hunderd AK47 assault rifels and seventen bombs from Kasaksthan and hide them in small hokaydo fishing ship anyway.. I AM INNOCENT INSPECTOR BRAD DAVIDSON OF THE U.S.A FEDEREL BEREAU OF INVESTIGATORS IF YOU ARE LISTENING.........oh i am sorry my mind is going out of focus.... in a normal situation a high class man of international business such as Mister Tony Wang woul probably be either in Bukingham palace having a cup of english tee and some biscits with the queenn and prince charls or yaughting with the monaco royale family in a yaught in the sea in monaco. Hope i am helping you,

Mr Tony Wang (Bge Oxford School).

[Anonymous]

Mr. Tony Wang,

Hahah...do you hold instructional courses on how we can be more like you? You should....you're sitting on a gold mine!

[Anonymous]

This thread has turned to @!#$. This whole message board has turned to @!#$. I'm just posting so I can take off the option of getting emails sent to me each time one of you lameasses say something.

[jotty]

Then theres no hope for me....i could never be that high class. It has always been my dream to live like Grace Kelly in 'High Society', but i see now that i will never get there.... Mr Tony Wang, you are too good for me!




(Psssst! Kent! You catching this? Ill keep him talking, you go sneak in there with your hidden camera!)

[jj]

Interesting points all!
I'll throw this idea out there:
Right now, in western culture, the steryotypical Japanese females fit an image 'ideal' for some - toned, cute, sharp, bright, exotic, etc. (fill in an adjective). In the past, even in Japan, it was something different, lots of fat, etcetc. So they are in demand now. (keep in mind, I have a few male friends who don't find asians attractive at all).
Now for women, its something else completely. Mabey tall, lots of muscles, I don't know. I remember a bunch of the female teachers sitting around talking about Japanese guys' hands looking like womens'. They said it would be like kissing a chick. I'm sure images of attractiveness will change for men too.
In short, its natural to have 'hot' looks. So why worry? If you still can't stand it, go to a country where you will find what you want. Don't worry, be happy!

[Kent Brockman]

Kent Brockman will now respond in a highly organised "bullet" format:

#To "griev", yes, this whole message board has turned to @!#$. Hopefully it will continue to get shittier. There`s already enough "Can i get a visa even with my irrepairable facial disfigurement blah blah" and "Ooh, ooh, what shirt shall I bring from Arseclag, Saskatchewan" posts to bore the pants off an entire dungeon full of Mr Wang`s mail order "ex-business associates"...

#To Mr Wang, a plague of locusts upon your first born for linking the BROCKMAN name with "the gas panics". Oh, the humanity! The noose is tightening on you Mr Wang- "MAIL-ORDER BRIDE SMUGGLES 17 BOMBS IN SWALLOWED CONDOMS FOR ASIAN BUSINESSMAN". Oh, and "Jotty" is in no way, shape or form a pseudonym for INSPECTOR BRAD DAVIDSON, Mr Wang so just rest easy...

#To "ii", I disagree. In our generational lifetime, I think Japanese women will in general always prefer the less threatening, slimmer androgynous men. Girly hands and all.

[monika]

when I'm in JP I'll be 'gaijin dating gaijin' cos my type of guy is like an european guy >_<

[Kent Brockman]

Kent Brockman is no Euro-weenie.

[Anthony]

please shut the @!#$ up i keep getting emails from all your loser ___ bitches. stop sending me gay nonsense.

[Kent Brockman]

Click the box "E-mail replies to this thread, to the address above" to... STOP GETTING REPLIES. What do you do at university, clean the place?

Your choice of language reveals you as a misogynist homophobe. Good riddance.

[Anonymous]

Anthony, I hope you haven't yet followed Kent's instructions, because I'm hoping you'll receive this message first.

you're a moron.

sincerely,
J

[Anonymous]

@｣$% YOUR $%@$%^ MISTER ANTHONY YOU ARE A @｣｣$$% @｣$%% AND A MORON AND A MISOJINIST AND A HOMOPHOBIAN!!!! @@｣｣ YOU , I WILL ｣｣$% &&& AND &&&&& IN TRUCK AND @｣%@%$^$^!｣｣HOKAYDO AND $%%%^^^$｣@｣@｣:? ARMS OFF$%% %%$ @｣@｣ $%@｣ $%^ IN A HOLE!!!!! $$^｣$ YOU %&$% MUTHER!!!!

[Kent Brockman]

You`re hilarious Mr Wang. Wow, poor Anthony. Between bouts of cleaning the toilet receptacles at his local college he had the misfortune to wander past and log onto one of the computers...now he`s entered a whole new World of Hurt... the world of Tony Wang. The Chinese underworld. A world of Mystery...and barbequed dogs...and connections to Hokkaido... and the Lawson`s frozen food/ice cream section.

"You are what you eat. My body is 76% fvcking sausage"

[Joey]

i bet your uk girl is a fat hepher and you cant pick up in japan

[Anonymous]

Can you Joey?

[Anonymous]

So where does that leave us on this important topic? :)

[Anonymous]

well, as it been 2 circles round? or 3 by now?

[Anonymous]

Surely we cannot sleep soundly at night without a resolution of this critical issue...

[Anthony]

im a moron?

look at you, you pathetic sack of @!#$. This whole discussion is bogus in the first place. I don't give a @!#$ about the dating scene. Are you too scared to be an individual and experience it yourself? Or do you need to hear some slob on a message board tell you some japanese hoebag is gonna slob on your little nob cuz of your white skin?

Kent thanks for the info on how to unsubscibe, and no I don't clean the dorms my girl lives here, I'm a student (nice try fukwad)

by the way the term "gay" has come to mean much more then just sexual orientation, it has everydays uses as a bad word. i.e. "Man, that show was gay = that show sucked."

So shut the @!#$ up F A G.

ps i wont ever be reading this again so no need to flame me, we don't want your fat ___ to break a sweat at the keyboard. use the energy to open that new pack of doughnuts u got. _____.

haha
zaijian

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you're a moron.

A funny one, though. GD, if that's the kinda spice you were looking for, you've gotten it. Can you all believe little anthony was still subscribed? What for? I thought he didn't like any of us. Chances are, he's probably still subscribed! If not, I guess anyone wanting to contact him will need to do so directly -- via email. Because, according to him, he 'won't be reading this anymore.'

J

[Anonymous]

does anyone in hokkaido have a computer? or just those in tokyo and osaka?
does anyone ever come to hokkaido, sapporo is a cool place!
jamieedgecombe@hotmail.com

[Anonymous]

Of course! People go to Hokkaido... I'm even going tomorrow! To the Furano area, though, not Sapporo. I hear that Tony Wang is also sometimes in Hokkaido.

Jeremy

[Anonymous]

To Tony Wang---

Just one word---- priceless!!!! Wouldn't have missed any of this for the world.


To Mr. Kent Brockman---

Just one word---- peerless!!!! Definitely enjoyed your unique banter.


Everything else aside, the saner people on this forum have got it right. In the final analysis it's all subjective. Now, please, do carry on! I'm loving it!

[Anonymous]

Oh! BTW: I did forget one special person----

To Anthony---

Just a few words---- you're AWEFULLY familiar with the word "gay" aren't you? Hmmm......

[Martin]

This thread has veered off topic recently, which is a pity. I enjoyed reading the first 80 % of it.

Gaijin women, please take note of the following example. A female colleague of mine forever complained that she couldn`t find a bloke. The only time I ever went drinking with her, a gaijin guy asked her if she would like a drink, nothing more. She bit his head off, loudly enough for other people in the bar to hear. In fact, she was righteously indignant for the rest of the evening, on the grounds that he was a sexist pig, obviously only out to get laid quickly, and how could he possibly have imagined she would go out with him. And yet she was surprised that she didn't have a boyfriend.

The point is, it takes bottle to chat someone up, especially for shy Japanese blokes. And noone deserves to be put down for having a go.

[Anonymous]

Good point to think about.

[Anonymous]

f##king right on martin!

[Anonymous]

That's what *I* wanted to say.

[excuse me, this is actually just to update my email for thread messages while it's on my mind]