View Full Version : Going out
2002-06-12, 10:18 PM
Ive only dated one Japanese guy before and he had lived abroad, so he wasnt very "Japanese."
Now, Ive met a guy at a placeI often go to for music and dancing. He flirts with me and acts interested, but I think hes a little intimidated by the whole gaijin girl thing. He cant speak much English and since my Japanese skills are few, communication is difficult. However, we get along very well, I want to ask him to go for dinner or coffee with me, not as a date nessesarily, but for something socail outside our normal meeting place.
Im just not sure how to approach this with the language gap problem, and Ive heard that in Japan anytime 2 people go out, they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend. But maybe thats not true? Any suggestions?
2002-06-13, 12:01 AM
What do you mean by any time 2 people go out they have a new boyfriend or girlfriend?
If people have told you that Japanese people have a new partner at the drop of a hat... then maybe theor friends are like that... but it really depends on the person. I knoe people who have been together for years.
I'm dating a Japanese guy and we have been together nearly a year. He has also spent a long time overseas, so he is unlike most Japanese guys... but I think that applies to most Japanese guys.
If you want to ask the guy out for a coffee, just give him your mobile mail address or number and say that you want to go out for coffee. Even if neither of you are fluent in the other's language, with a bit of patient., things will work out fine!
2002-06-13, 12:58 AM
sorry, by that one comment I made I meant that Ive heard that...well, for example, if I asked a guy friend to go grab something to eat with me back home, we think its just that: friends going out. But Ive heard that with the Japanese, you dont just go out on "fun dates" its like, if you go out and do something, you are kinda hooked up. But...just what Ive heard.
2002-06-13, 01:56 AM
Haha.. yeah you're right. Japanese guys and girls don't really go alone together unless they are interested in one another. My boyfriend was really confused when we were friends. He wondered all the time if I saw him just the two of use because I was interested in him, or because I wanted to be good friends...I never knew that though..haha. I suggest you ask the guy out for coffee and bring a friend along. Then see what happens....!!
2002-06-13, 03:47 AM
I would recommend communicating through e-mail first b/c it is much easier this way...He may be more comfortable(if you communicate in english) this way......speaking on the phone in anything but your mother tongue is very difficult........overall, Japanese men aren't aggressive so you may find yourself having to assert yourself....giving him your e-mail is a good idea..........this way, you can get to know one another too.....
Finally, avoid going to noisy bars/restaurants....take a walk in the park or go to a quiet meeting place........I have been married to my Japanese husband for 1 year...he is very considerate, gentle, and sincere........I wish you all the best and above all, be patient when it comes to communication........Ps. A gentle, open face is universal........kkano
2002-06-13, 11:05 AM
Yeah! I agree - emailing is a great idea.
2002-06-13, 11:39 AM
Hey, great. Thats helpful to hear other peoples view on this subject of dating Japanese. You hear so much about the foriegn guys and Japanese girls, but not so much when its the other way around. ありがとう
2002-06-13, 12:59 PM
yeah its kind of funny ... all the foreign girls i know here have dated japanese boys at some point, yet its never really talked about at all ... and when ppl (gaijin men) find out that im dating a japanese boy, they think that its so unusual. id second the email option, and then just be patient- about 80% of communication is non-verbal anyway. good luck.
2002-06-13, 10:30 PM
This has been very helpful. Thanks girls!