View Full Version : MY STORY
2002-06-16, 03:07 AM
I have been reading a lot of the posts and am sickened by some peoples hatred for others....I would like to share my story. I am hoping that perhaps through my honesty, I will open up some people's minds.
I came to Japan in 1999, from the UK. I started at a less than reputable teaching company but didn't discover this until I began my new job. I came to Japan to gain work experience, learn about Japanese culture, and meet people from around the world.
My workplace became intolerable within the first month. There were a group of friends who seemed to be running the learning centre. This group included five foreign male teachers who I still have nightmares about to this day. Some of the incidents which occured were the following: - I was eating lunch with another female colleague when one of the members in this group stated how happy he was to be in Japan so he could be surrounded by skinny locals and not by fat, foreign girls.
-All members of this group would constantly talk about their sexual escapades in detail and within earshot of female colleagues. One thing I remember being repeated quite often were how much 'tighter' Japanese girls' vaginas were from foreign girls' vaginas.
-Demeaning posters/cartoons were placed on the walls. One poster stated, "I am not the one who broke her poop hole in". -We had a schedule board placed on the wall showing our students names and teachers and their room numbers. Scissors and Knives were placed in the names of unpopular students and yes, in my name. -Files had demeaning nicknames for Japanese students or demeaning comments such as 'Sloppy 3rd's'(already had sex with 3 male teachers.
I left the workplace after 6 months and went to another workplace...It has been almost 3 years since I had experienced this but I still get nightmares and am fearful of foreign male teachers. I cannot have a conversation without feeling scared to death. I married a gentle and caretaking Japanese man and although I know that there are good and bad in every race, I cannot control my emotions and instinct to go into protection mode. I hope that perhaps my story will be heard by other foreign male teachers and that they will not do the things which I had to experience and perhaps they could treat their female foreign colleagues' in the manner that they would want their own foreign sister or foreign mothers to be treated.
2002-06-16, 08:28 AM
What a bunch of uncooth, irresponsible, immature morons you had to work with! It's guys like that that give foreign teachers a bad name.
2002-06-16, 01:11 PM
Sorry to hear what you had to deal with. Those people are disgrace to their race and could easily charge with sexual assault (NO MEANS NO!)on their students which should be enough to shut that hell hole.
Japanese national deserve the right to know which schools to avoid, in order to protect them I think you should give away the name of that school. They are so many establishment like that out there, with more people coming forward testifying about their malpractice would help taking out the trash and reestablish the good name of the Gaikokujin who behave themselves out there.
2002-06-16, 03:42 PM
Japanese Judge gets 14 days suspended jail sentence for groping Japanese girl. Chikan (gropers on trains) get warnings. This country is pretty backward in protecting the dignity of its women folk, starting off years ago when farmers sold their daughters into prostitution, then in the 1930s and 40s with the comfort woman in Asia, and then after WW2 when they organised Japanese women as comfort women for the US soldiers over here - who used them just an enthusiastically as the Japanese used the Koreans, Filipanas and Chinese. Complaining or broadcasting to Japanese will not get you very far. Witness the number of foreign women brought into Japan every year to satisfy Japanese mens' needs in the soaplands and snacks of Japan, and the increasing number of Japanese women working part-time in 'fuzoku' places, young girls working for branded goods and older housewives to pay the rent and cram school fees.
Applying Western concepts of rights and dignity does not always work - ask any Japanese OL with advanced degrees pouring tea and copying for her male colleagues, and being forced to sit with men at evening drinking parties.
I do not think that this is peculiar to Japan, or that school, it is more of a male-bonding scenario, that can happen anywhere in the world, where young men are together. Normally they are much more discrete about it. Or an aware management puts a stop to it. That school sounds quite an extreme exception.
But can I ask, did you take any action yourself? Did you talk to your colleagues? Did you report this to your superviser or management? If so, what was their reaction?
While your post detailed what could be construed as sexual harassment to yourself, it is hard to jump to SPK's charge of sexual assault, as many young Japanese women do use English schools as a chance to meet young men of other countries, and are willing to see their "sensei" outside of the classroom. It might be against the school policy to avoid fraternising with students, but it would be hard to prove who was taking advantage of whom. "No does mean no" in English, but I dread to think of the communication between teachers with low-level Japanese and students with low-level English.
I'm too am conscious of "seku-hara" (sexual harassment) in the work place, and I know some larger companies actively take measures to educate staff and have contact points to report alleged cases, and a panel to judge cases, though you have to be very careful it is not a revengeful person making false allegations. I used the word alleged as you are innocent until proven guilty under most Western judicial systems. I have experience of both types of case, where an older male director was demoted and transferred to a remote branch office, and where a young lady's promotion was denied. This is "reverse seku-hara" where younger girls deliberately dress provocatively, flirt and make life "uncomfortable" for male bosses, colleagues or superiors, preying on their libido and emotions to obtain "benefits and gratuitities" that their more behaving colleagues don't get. The woman's room in the office is not such a hotbed of gossip, slander and innuendo; maybe we are better at keeping our experiences to ourselves.
I am glad that you have managed to find a degree of happiness, and hope that you will stop having nightmares in the future.
Trip Hop (Ms.)
2002-06-16, 05:09 PM
Whoops - wrong case - better get my facts right.
Sorry about that
The Tokyo District Court sentenced Tokyo High Court Judge Yasuhiro Muraki to a suspended two-year prison term Monday for paying for sex with three girls ranging in age from 14 to 16.
August 28th 2001
2002-06-17, 12:08 AM
welcome back TH.
one place I work the students follow us to the station after work, we have to give them the slip in the crowd. Another place the girls are very enthusiastic about learning english until I let it slip I am married then they disappear.
I think the women students at that school think they are having a good discrete time with the teachers and don't realize they are being abused behind their backs. I can imagine their fury if they found out.
I can't blame Bridgitte for however she got herself out of there. Harrassment like that can be pretty frightening, which is exactly what it was designed to do.
It is pretty tough i think to expect the same protection from harrassment or discrimination that you may or should in other countries, like the US or Canada or Europe, those rules just don't apply here. Look at the child porn in every konbinya, it is just mainstream. Pretty scary stuff.
2002-06-17, 11:12 AM
Gotta agree with you TH, I jump the gun there.
It's a bad habit I get lately, especially regarding this type of situation.
2002-06-17, 01:22 PM
Not only does it happen in the work place but it can also happen at home. I came here to join my boyfriend. But things didn't work out. And life became a nightmare for me. He would come home from work and tell me about his students ie: so and so is just beautiful, so and so had a really short skirt on today and I could see her undies. He'd be doing the washing up and turn around and tell me how much he wanted to "do" a Japanese woman. He'd tell me how much he'd love a Japanese woman for a girlfriend. A Japanese woman would make the perfect girlfriend. I could 'train' a Japanese woman to be the perfect girlfriend. Japanese women were better than foreign women. Japanese women were sexier, prettier and skinnier than foreign women. I was constantly put down and compared to these women. In the end he did bring one home while I was at work. She then became a stalker. I could only put up with her and not to mention his 'complete and utter dribble' for so long. It takes two to tango. Japanese women have this "concept" that all foreign men are perfect and in no way like Japanese men at all. Hate to telll you this but men are all the same no matter what country they live in or what their nationality is. At the end of the day I think some foreign men here just need to get a grip. Foreign women are ok too!
2002-06-17, 09:41 PM
Please don't generalize that "men are all the same". Some of us have scruples and morals. Just because your boyfriend didn't (and acted like the crudest and most insensitive, uncaring, and slimiest of dogs), don't put all of us in the same category. I'm sorry what happened to you.
2002-06-17, 09:50 PM
Hey Pal.. maybe your boyfiend was a ____. But slagging off J-girls just because your boyfriend got into them is just stupid. You wouldn't make the comments you made above if your b/f headed off with a black girl back home.
I figure there is about the same percentage of stupid people, racist people, sexy people and cool people in any country. Live with it. Maybe you're one of those, maybe you're boyfriend was.. but very likely the person that had the most realistic take on the whole deal would have been the j-girl.
I'd guess that the time to step out of the relationship would have been about the time your boyfriend started harping on about girls panties.. not when he brought 'em home.
2002-06-18, 10:18 AM
Yeah he was a ____. As for the Japanese girl that he brought home while I was at work........she wasn't exaclty altogher there. Not only did she stalk him (while I had to put up with her calling all hours of the day and night, turning up on our dorrstep and balling her eyes out, screaming the apartment block down etc) but she also stalked her University teacher and when he didn't pay any attention to her she tried to kill herself. Now you tell me if she had the most realistic take on the deal.
What I meant by all men are the same.... I meant that one race is not any better or worse than another. You're gonna get good and bad wherever you go. As for moving on up and out. I hadn't been here all that long and no job and no cash to do it. Other wise I would've been out the door long ago. No, I'm not racist and if I was I doubt that I'd have some pretty good Japanese girlfriends here. Not to mention my Chinese mates and my Islander mates back home. I was just a person with feelings and was subjected to mental and physical abuse. And no one to turn to. But, hey I'm doin ok now.
2002-06-19, 03:44 PM
Bridget.. why don't you "out" a few of the arseholes you were working with. I know it's been three years.. but really if people have the confidence to speak out then we know who to look out for.
BTW these guys were from where.. all over?
2002-06-20, 02:19 AM
I was working at Nova actually but would rather not mention individual names b/c they aren't able to defend themselves and I don't want to appear spiteful.......I just hope that it won't happen to other ladies..........Brigette