View Full Version : missing your boyfriend/girfriend
2002-08-06, 06:51 AM
My boyfriend is leaving in three weeks for a year to teach english in Japan. We have been together for almost two years and this will be the first time apart for more than three weeks! This is an opportunity he has longed for and I am happy for him, but it is getting harder for me as the day gets closer to him leaving. He has been wonderful with his encouragement, but Man I am really going to miss him. Any advice, support for the one left behind? Feel free to email me directly. Many Thanks.
2002-08-06, 05:19 PM
Hmmm....I think thats really gonna be a personal thing. Although I was the one who took off to the other side of the world in my relationship, in another instance I have had a similar experiance. In my case, it was really hard and hurt a lot at first, but after a few months I got used to the idea of him being gone, for a good purpose. You just have to support him, I guess.
I think you will really just have to decide if you can do a long distance relationship or not. If you can, I really suggest 7-11 phone cards. I used to buy the $30 ones, and if you connect using the nearest local number on the back, you can talk for something like 6 hours with it. Its the best way to go.
Are you interested in travelling at all yourself? You should if you have any desire to! Use this time to grow and share your experiances. Use this as an excuse to visit Japan!
2002-08-06, 05:48 PM
Agree with LJ it is a personal thing, but from experience, regret it is more often than not, "Out of sight, out of mind," rather than "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
There are a few other threads here dealing with this issue, but I guess the two of you just have to be open and honest about your expectations.
Cheap calls - try IP telephony - works well with the high speed services.
Just a laptop and headphone earpiece and mike. Easy to use. practice before he leaves!
2002-08-06, 07:08 PM
Thanks for the replies. Although TH's "Out of sight out of mind" comment is what I sure hope does not happen! *sigh* He hasn't let me down so far in the past two years, so I will simply trust his words that we will make it through the distance one day at a time. My support is totally with him on this adventure and work experience.
To the other person who replied, yes,we plan on the phone cards! And I will be out in Japan for Christmas at his request so when he has his break we can travel about, celebrate Christmas and possibly see about work for me there. I have had offers for work teaching english but need to get some things in order here first before I can head out overseas. Take care all!
2002-08-22, 06:07 PM
Sounds like you already know (at least planned) how to deal with this event. My only real advice would be for you to check out Japan when you visit him in December and really consider staying in Japan. If that means going back home to sort things out or finding a job first then time is on your side. If you are stuck in your home country then it will difficult, but not impossible. Travelling back and forth is expensive and phone calls only go so far in this day and age (of course video phone could prove to be a bit better). I know so many couples and well to tell the truth all of them (eventually) end up being togeather in Japan and usually for a very long time if not forever (^-^)
I dont know if it's good advice for you or not,
well,I'm in Tokyo and my boyfriend isnt in Tokyo,(Japan though)
We've not been seeing each other for 1month,
I'm really missing him and I hope him to think so,too.
I know long distance love is soooo difficult,But the most important thing is to trust each other.Also,to be positive.
It cant be helped not to meet,but I really love him and I dont wanna lose him,
well,what I want to say is please try to think that "long distance love isnt difficult,we can realize how much we love each other",etc.
(I know it's difficult!!)
Most people say"It's so difficult,it wont work"and so on,
but it's depends on the couples,
Anyway I just wanna say,"Just try it!!" : )
I'm sorry my English isnt good,
hope you could understand.
2002-10-23, 05:32 AM
Aaaaah, the sweet pains of love.
let it bleed my dear, your fears are well founded and as expected, those of a youthfull heart.
the very sword that has diced you was drawn from beneath the warming wings of love.
there is no advice for you, no one can help you.
you will be alone, as alone as you may ever be.
it is, however, an oppurtunity.
I hate to say it, but these things usualy don't work out, and if they do, there's hard feelings after. EVERY long distance relationship I saw in the year there failed. Especialy with the Japan side. Lonely, isolated, pressure to hook-up, drinking, needing support. I saw a lot of deep-dicking going on. It was just a natural eventuality. I recommend going with him, breaking it off, or accepting that he'll have other affairs. Live Life!- J
2002-12-06, 11:43 PM
Depends how much both of you want to continue on. Many misunderstanding might occure especially in long distance relationship. Be prepared to spend a lot on phone calls and even trip to Japan. But it is possible as long as not too long (like not more than a year).
2002-12-07, 04:02 AM
Why don't you go w/ him? If you you're that in love, how could bear to be that far apart for so long? I'm sure you could get a job at the same school or very near where he is. If you have important work back home, you might as well say good bye... b/c if the best job prospects he's got are Eng. teaching jobs, or jobs in japan, it's likely he'll be there for quite a while. If he's there for over a year w/o you, forget it! There are so many babes in japan that like foreigners, your boy will have no problem getting dates when he's lonely. If you want to wait for him maybe you can wait for a few years for him to become disillusioned w/ Japan and japanese girls and come back to marry you... but you'll have to pretend he hasn't been playing the field.
2002-12-07, 03:26 PM
Or maybe you could just deal with the fact that he had affairs and consider that he came back to you (hopefully) anyway. Why complicate your life with unnecessary lies?
2002-12-07, 04:07 PM
True, true... if he comes back, or comes back unattached. Other single gaijin are always looking to hook up while in Japan, so it's not just Japanese girls you have to compete w/.