View Full Version : How can I meet a gaijin girl who loves a Jpn man?
2003-03-18, 10:06 AM
hi, everyone, especially for ladies and girls of non-japanese nationality.
do u have any good ideas how japanese men could meet japanese lovers in u.s?
i've stayed in u.s, mid-west, for 18 months, and i do some volunteers
through japan-american society or some organizaitons
for japan-american mutual understanding.
then i also personally feel like having its understanding with american ladies
as a friend or more. but...
any comments are welcome! thanks.
2003-03-18, 01:16 PM
Try finding a penpal. I have the same problem in reverse. I like Japanese men but I don't know how to approach them and if they will accept me so I usually don't say anything.
2003-03-18, 04:07 PM
Wow!! You get to do volunteers? Awesome!!
2003-03-19, 04:03 PM
Ditto, ditto, Erin. It's very frustrating not to be able to establish contact at clubs, bars, etc. Maybe western girls are stereotyped as being outgoing, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who is actually SHY and couldn't approach a man if my life depended on it. Bonn, try just going to a club, going up to a girl, and talking to her! If you're not completely busaiku she will be pleased and friendly. I can almost guarantee it. You have the advantage of being able to speak English, after all. I would like to advise even guys who don't speak English to just approach us. A lot of us do speak Japanese, after all! But I guess this is not the place to reach non-English speakers :)
2003-03-21, 03:04 PM
Thanks!! Erin and gaijingirl :>
I will try both ways and report as soon as I get something.
Hope some J-guys could refer these great advice!!
Have a good spring.
2003-03-22, 04:01 PM
Be yourself, be interesting and interested in what the girl thinks about things that matter.
I think Japanese guys are really sexy, but there is nothing more annoying that the feeling that someone is only trying to practice their English or talk to you cos they feel cool being with a foreign girl.
If I get approached with the "Where are you from?" line it makes me wanna puke. How would you start a conversation with a Japanese girl you liked? Just act the same....
2003-03-23, 05:55 PM
Have corralled the assortment of studio gimps and bung-eyed minions to scour each of the 433,899,551 Brockman posts to this website over the last six months and they have reassured me that I have yet to offer anything informative, constructive or useful.
Well Bonn, break out the bunting. The cyber-bunting. I, KENT BROCKMAN, AM ABOUT TO SOLEMNLY OFFER MY FIRST EVER CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE ON THE GAIJIN POT.
This is uncharted territitory. Please bear with me. I will advise using the "numeric" (GAHHH, STOP THAT!) format-
1. Look about the town for a gaijin girl accompanied by an Asian man.
2. Politely and confidently introduce yourself and ask the man if he is a Japanese national.
3. Small talk with the couple in a laid-back yet sophisticated manner until you can cunningly and discreetly ask the gaijin girl if she loves the Japanese man.
4. If she says yes... you will not only have met, BUT STILL BE IN THE PRESENCE OF a gaijin girl who loves a Japanese man.
th, IN YOUR FACE!
Oops. Sorry. It would be stratospherically beneath my glacier-cool demeanor to gloat excessively while simultaneously grabbing my nether regions...shame my ebonics aren`t up to scratch... "I appear to have taken you to the rack and flushed you on the money, 'G' (T. h.)".
Someone ask something about visors already, the new and bold final frontier.
-[This is not at all as easy as I have suavely made it appear. Step 3 in particular must be handled with diplomatic panache and Brockmanian Guile].
2003-03-23, 07:57 PM
The only real efficient way to attract ladies (regardless of their nationality) is to make yourslef a uniform preferably red and blue and figure-hugging with an "S" in the middle. Then, pretend that you are from another planet (ex: 'cripton') and that you pocess super-natural power. Make up a name (ex: 'Superman') and then you're good to go!
Select one lucky lady and ensure to find an opportunity to rescue her. I guarantee a 100% positive result. (if you don't believe me, look at Clark; it worked well on Lois)
F.A.K=Foolish+Answer+with obvious lack of Knowledge=F.A.K
2003-03-23, 08:54 PM
From my personal experience:
Don't look down if a GG is smilling at you on the train, she is not about to 'jump' at you, she just finds you attractive. If she is not your type smile back and don't look at her again.
If you see her sitting in a bar/restaurant (even with friends) don't be shy to meet her eyes, if she doesn't respond...well, these things happen. If she looks back and you establish some short of 'rapport', go and talk to her. Even if she doesn't speak Japanese she won't laugh at your mistakes if you talk to her in English.
Make it clear that you DO NOT want to practise your English.
Make it clear that you DO NOT to hang around with her because she is a GG, we are not circus monkeys.
If you know her, from friends, work, wherever and you think she is single ask her out. There is nothing wrong with a date even if it doesn't work. We don't bite and we are from planet earth.
Do not get drunk (for dutch courage) so you can go over and talk. There is nothing worse that a drunk man talking giberrish. Even if you had a remote chance with her now you've blown it.
Generally, be confident, most of you JM out there are goodlooking and gentle people, you won't have a problem!
2003-03-23, 11:01 PM
F.A.K. Nah, couldn`t be...
Fred? Fred Ah Kuoi? FRED!
Still keep in touch with James Leuluai? Kurt Sorensen?
2003-03-24, 05:12 PM
Do you mean that you're in the US now, and you want to find American women who like Japanese men? That's pretty different from trying to attract foreign women in Japan, which is what most of the advice you've received seems to be for.
First of all, you've got to get over being Japanese. In America, you aren't- you're Asian. Aside from the ones you meet at your Japan-America society, American women don't see you as being a Japanese man, they see you as an Asian man. So you'll have better luck if you try to find women who like Asians, rather than just women who like Japanese.
But that won't help much. The truth, as you've no doubt already noticed, is that Asian men have a pretty bad image in the west. Many/most North American women either actively dislike Asian men or have never even considered dating one.
Sure, there are a few non-Asian women who love Asians (but do you really want to be with someone who is not in love with you so much as with the idea of being with an 'exotic' Asian guy?), and some open-minded women who don't care about a guy's culture or nationality, but I think the majority of non-Asian North American women don't really care for Asian men (actually, plenty of Asian women too!).
But that doesn't mean you can't change their minds. Of all the non-Japanese women I know with Japanese husbands/boyfriends, most of them said they never liked Asian men until they met their partners. These guys were just so charming/good-looking/sweet/whatever that they totally overcame the bad image.
So you just have to get out there and meet as many women as you can, without worrying about wether they like Japanese guys or not. The more women you meet, the more chances you have of changing their minds about you as an Asian man.
Without knowing what it is you're doing in the States, it's difficult to give advice. Other than your volunteer work, what are you doing? Working? Studying? What are your interests? The only piece of advice I can give without knowing more is this- if the only reason you are volunteering with those Japan-American organizations is to meet women, then quit. It's a waste of time in so many ways. Volunteer or get involved with something else, something with a large percentage of young women, regardless of wether you think they might like Japanese/Asian guys or not. And just be as friendly as charming as you can, and see what happens.
2003-03-24, 10:19 PM
I think your idea is to superficial.
If you really need a girlfriend, don't choose by her racial back ground but by her heart.
2003-03-25, 01:36 AM
Wall Street I & II
2003-03-30, 08:27 PM
hey we all are attracted by different types, some people like blondes, some brunnettes, etc. What's wrong with that? I love Japanese men, and haven't dated a gaijin guy since I came here 10 years ago.
2003-03-31, 01:50 PM
For the original poster, you could try the thread started by Melissa for starters.