Japanese man love foreign girls. Is it normal?

[miyagisan]

Hi,everyone. I am Japanese 27yrs old man from Chiba. Hey guys I have got a kind of serious problem. Problem is that I really like Gaijin girls especially white women. I don`t know why but since my childhood I have been always attracted to some Gaijin girls and I always wanted to have Gaijin friend but as you know here in JP you can only see Japanese people not many foreigners. Needless to say I never made Gaijin friend in Japan. It always annoyed me very much. also I had no one to talk this subject `cause I thought that was kind of embarrassing to talk about it with my mate. I don`t know these days but those days just no one ever talked about having Gaijin girl friend or something, and I think not many JP boys like Gaijin girls. These things sometimes made me think that I am un healthy or something bad. I found it hard to have serious relationships between Japanese girls, even I still think that would be easier for me to have JP girl friend if I didn`t like Gaijin girls so much....Well, I decided to go to oversea for some work experience and also looking for someone special, so I did, and I had brilliant time over there . I met lots of nice people. I made lots of friends. I also met someone there and seriously we were thinking about getting married. But it didn`t work that way. I had to came back to JP ` cause my father he lost job and He needed my help so we were broken up. It was just too much for me. Now here I am in JP,,,, look around but I see only Japanse girls. what should I do? Should I forget about Gaijin women. I know if I met someone here but soon or later they will be gone to their country. and also I know it`s not easy for them to live in Japanese society same as I found it not easy to live in western society. Please don`t get me wrong I love western style rather than JP. I have Japanse spirit and I love Japanse nature but I`d rather like western way to live, you know what I mean ,,like a job , life style, house etc. One thing that I don`t doubt my self is that I really like Gaijin girls!!! but I am not sure what I should do ,, so please someone tell me your opinion about my problem. YOROSHIKU ONEGAISHIMASU

[Anonymous]

I say go for your dreams, if you really like Gaijin girls than join a Cultural Exchange society and meet one in Japan. I'm pretty sure they have these all over Japan. You live in Chiba which is close to Tokyo, and lucky for you there are more gaijins around this area. Or, you can come to Vancouver, Canada to work/study, this is a very mulitcultural city and it is very common to see inter-racial couples. My sister is engaged to a Chinese guy and I have Japanese girlfriend. I am a 27 year old gaijin from Canada who is coming to Japan in June. It's funny because I am the opposite as you; I've always liked Asian girls, especially Japanese girls, but there is nothing wrong with that because everyone has a preference.

[Anonymous]

Check out some International Parties or Roppongi

[miyagisan]

Thanks for giving me a nice suggestions. Vancouver sounds really good. But I just can`t leave my parents alone, That`s why I had to came back to JP from overseas. I appreciated your suggestions anyway. Have fun in JP, mate!!

[Anonymous]

Dear Miyagi San

I do upscale parties once a month where we have a very international crowd from parts of the world, the site is not finished yet but you can have a look at www.sa009.com and if you want to see photo's then pls send me your e-mail ID and I will send you the photo's to look at...

009

[miyagisan]

Thanks for letting me know about your party thing. I am really interested to see some photos. Well, I have been thinking whether I should give up about finding Gaijin girlfriend or not,,but now I think I should give it try for one more time. Even if it won`t work out well but I won`t regret. I want to be honest to my real feelings towards Gaijin women. This time I will go wherever I can find someone special if it`s necessary. I want do my best. Even if I would not be able to find someone special but just friends that also be great anyway. I don`t want regret so I will take my chances. Thank you! from Miyagisan

[Anonymous]

Miyagisan,

Check out the thread my husband wrote ie. Foreign women. I received over 200 emails in one week from Japanese men interested in dating a foreign woman(I placed an ad in the Metropolis). That is how I met my wonderful husband and we have been married for 2 years now.

Of course, this is difficult in Japan because there are few foreign women. Most of the foreign people that I have worked with have been male. I am not sure but I do know that my parents were a wee bit anxious about me going overseas as a lone female.

If you travel or study/work abroad, then it will be much easier but it isn't impossible to meet a kind foreign woman in Japan.

Gambatte Miyagisan,
Mrs. KKano

[miyagisan]

Dear Mrs Kkano. How are you and your husband? Thank you for cheer me up and giving me some information. I feel kind of strange to talk about this kind of subject over internet because I was the person who used to think talking about personal thing on the internet was just ridiculous but now I really think it`s great. Look I received email from you guys and I got good suggestions from some people. It`s fantastic. Well, since I came back from New Zealand I had been felt so depressed because of I broke up with Kiwi girl friend and I felt that I was not able to find nice Gaijin girl here in Japan anymore.I thought it`s impossible to meet new people until I knew about this Gaijinpot site. Now I really want give it try once again. I was about to give up finding someone special but now I want to try and I will. I really like Gaijin girls. I can`t even explain why,, but I am sure that it`s natural feelings. I don`t want to hide or cheat to myself real feelings or heart.
Anyways It`s nice to talk to you. I am going for a run now as I need to shape me up for someone special out there!!(lol) Okay please say hello to your husband and tell him How lucky he is, will you? Hanashiga dekite yokattadesu JYA MATANE!!
P>S Sorry about my poor English I am still working on it!

[jguylover]

I'm a foreign girl who loves Japanese guys. I think you just need to get out more! Go somewhere that you often see foreign girls hanging out, and then just talk to them. There are many girls like me who get frustrated that Japanese guys are tooooo shy to talk to us. We are waiting for you! Come and find us.

[Anonymous]

There are many foreign women here in Japan. Don't be shy! When you see a foreign woman simply say hi to us. We are always waiting to be approached. I am a little shy myself so it is difficult for me to approach a man. Keep your eyes open. We are always looking for someone to talk with. Any relationship starts with friendship first. Ask us out for coffee. This will help us to trust you.

[Phil]

Miyagi san here is a hint - JGUYLOVER and FOREIGN WOMAN want you to ask them out! Nothing ventured nothing gained so do it! And you may be pleasantly surprised! You should know that Tokyo is probably the easiest place for a ___ guy to land a gaijin girl since the gaijin guys generally go for the low hanging local fruit.

Anyway - send them mails. Their email can be found by clicking on their id's!

Gambatte!

[westsan]

Your a fiend!! You go boy!!!

[Anonymous]

I am dating a japanese guy now.....but unhappy. Im not saying that japanese guys are not a choice but i think i picked the wrong one. He does`nt make any effort at anything. to make a long story short, basiclly theres no romance. Which is really hurting. I just don`t know what to do...He is my first b/f. Are there any romantic japanese guys out there??

[westsan]

crying wrote:

> I am dating a japanese guy now.....but unhappy. Im not saying
> that japanese guys are not a choice but i think i picked the
> wrong one. He does`nt make any effort at anything. to make a
> long story short, basiclly theres no romance. Which is really
> hurting. I just don`t know what to do...He is my first b/f.
> Are there any romantic japanese guys out there??


Thats a good question.
I have some J-friends that are into western girls. But I dont see much romance eminating from them.

I also am with a J-girl and I am romantic often when we are together often. And she responds. But I do get the sense that she would be OK without it just the same.

[Anonymous]

Miyagisan,

You are living proof that younger, Japanese men are gentlemen. With your respect, honesty, and kindness, you will find the girl of your dreams no matter what nationality she is. Don't change you gentle-man like ways.
Regards,
Mrs. KKano

[jguylover]

Of course there are romantic japaense guys. dump the guy you are with... you are better off finding someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated. Have some guts, girl!

No, I'm not waiting for Miyagi san's mail. He hasn't replied to any advice on this thread so far, so I doubt he will take the intitive. But, if he changes his mind, he can send his picture to jguylover@yahoo.com

[westsan]

jguylover wrote:

> Of course there are romantic japaense guys. dump the guy you
> are with... you are better off finding someone who will treat
> you the way you want to be treated. Have some guts, girl!

NO. Your first lover is important.
I say break up for now,
starve him of affection,
make him earn the affection of someone else,
keep in touch w/him,,,
then once he has seen and tasted the sidewalk he may become a better more motivated lover.

[Anonymous]

Hajimemashite Miyagisan ...

I think how you feel about Gaijin women is perfectly natural .... I feel the same kind of attraction too towards foreign men since I was young ... for some unexplainable reason I'm just attracted to men who are not of the same race as I am ... I kept asking myself why .... However I do have the support of my closest friends who do encourage me to go out and meet them .... I was in the UK for two years, and needless to say it was a good exposure for me because even if I didn't get to actually date any of the men I came across, I've learned a lot about being in contact and relating to people of other nationalities ... I'm not so sure now about getting a foreign boyfriend now, Caucasian, Japanese or otherwise because I find that when I try too hard, things become extra difficult for some reason .... maybe that's a clue for you, Miyagisan ... just get to know lots of gaijin women for who they are, and you'd be surprised that one day one of them is attracted to you .... Gambate kudasai!

[miyagisan]

MINASAN ARIGATOU I will do my best. I will find someone out there. Always positive thinking that`s all I can do. I have no fear. I will fight if I have to. I am going to grab my darling one day,,yeah that`s for sure!! We Japanese guys can be very shy and not so sweet to women but Japanese guys have Samurai Spirits. We are not afraid of losing our life for someone special. We protect our love from danger. We can be very tough!!! Anyways I love everyone and I really think that I was lucky enough to live in overseas and to have experience, to meet lots of nationality of people, to know other cultures. I am very glad to have a chat with you guys. If I didn`t know any English then I would not be able to talk to you guys like this. well. I will keep learning English and meeting lots of Gaijin people. Life is so beautiful!!! JYA MATA ATODENE!! MIYAGISAN TORI.
P>S jguylover Do you really want to see my picture? I would not mind if you really want it but please don`t expect too much I am not that good looking fellow like some movie stars. but my friends reckon I look like one of Japanese pro-golfer who`s name is Shigeki Maruyama. I don`t know if this sounds good or bad for you. (lol)

[miyagisan]

Here is my email address Everyone feel free to email me miyagisansugoi@msn.com

[Phil]

Miyagisan you sound like a really nice chap. Just a couple of things:

1) WOMEN ESP FOREIGN WOMEN LIKE THE MAN TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE. SO YOU MUST SEND THE FOREIGN WOMAN A MAIL FIRST. Don't expect her to come to you. The foreign women here ("jguylover" - who admits to being on the nampa trail - and "foreign woman" have both given you HUGE hints that they want YOU to call THEM. THEY will not call YOU even if they are incredibly lonely and sad (I'm not saying they are) because this is seen as the MAN'S job!!!!!!!

IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW THIS PIECE OF ADVICE YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER GET A FOREIGN WOMAN (or you may be too old to enjoy her) :)

2) I wish there were more J-girls like you on the inside (but like delicious babes on the outside of course). J society seems skewed, with a lot of the altruism, honesty and integrity in the guys (Samurai spirit etc) and less in the women (Louis Vuitton spirit). Disclaimer for those with a different view - this is MY view based on MY experiences. Exceptions DO exist. Stocks can go down as well as up, blah blah blah

[Anonymous]

Hello Phil, miyagisan, and whoever else reading this ....

Hmmm, I wouldn't say that all women want the man to take the initiative ... maybe it is a rare occasion to actually see a woman go up to a man and ask him out for a date, but as you would put it, there are exceptions, you know ... I have tried, in vain of course, to express my true feelings to this Japanese guy, but all he could say is that he just wants to be friends with me and he hopes that I could remain in touch with him so that he could learn English! .... For crying out loud, I've practically thrown myself at him, and he could do is offer his apology .... It doesn't really matter who takes the initiative, if you try too hard (in my case), it doesn' work out anyway in the end ....

[miyagisan]

Hi,Phil. How are you doing? Thanx for your nice advice. I really appreciate it. Well, I am not a kind guy whom what they call "The Man" I can be very soft and shy. But if I have to be initiative then I will be. I will do whatever the foreign women love, that`s for sure mate. I AM ready!!! Miyagisan より　　Philsanへ

[Anonymous]

Ohayo Miyagisan!

I think I understand your situation..........but from the other side! I am 26, female and have been living in Osaka for over a year. I love J guys and have had lots of "encounters" ($@*#) but that's where it ends........because most J guys (in my experience) want to practice english, but they don't want a gaijin girlfriend. Frustrating........

Let me give you one big piece of advice:

When you meet a gaijin woman you'd like to date, DON'T tell her you want a gaijin girlfriend! Don't, don't DON'T! Women want to feel special..........we don't want to feel like another name-less, face-less, blond, gaijin girlfriend/hostess. Sorry.........after living in Japan for a while, this is how I feel when I meet most J guys..........

I agree with most of the other messages on this post..........initiate...........call or text her first...........after the first date, ALWAYS call the next day if you want to continue dating her..........just a few tidbits of advice.

Good luck!

[Zikten]

miyagisan, I think some people are just attracted to "exotic" women/men. To you, caucasian women are exotic and therefor, attractive. For me(your basic blonde white guy), it's the same thing, but with asian women. Nothing wrong about it. I wish you luck in your search for a nice gaijin woman. I'm sure there's lots of western women in Japan who would love to meet a nice guy like you. I havn't been to Japan yet, but I've heard there are Gaijin bars there. Maybe those would be good places to meet someone.

[Phil]

So Miyagi san/jguylover/foreign woman a week after the advice, has Miyagi san done anything? Has he taken the first step? The saga continues...

[miyagisan]

Hey phill.What`ve been up to mate? and ARIGATOU your advice Zikten-san. Fortunately I got job in Roppongi where I can meet lots of foreigners. I will start working there in July,so I am kind of excited about it. I will make a lot of foreign friends indeed. Oh also I am going to organize some Trekking or Hiking tour, or whatever you call it, in this summer. I am thinking about going to Mt.MITSUMINE or Mt.TAKAO (both mountains are located in KANTOU area which is kind of Tokyo area) My kiwi friend he would also join us.That would be very fun!! so if you are interested please let me know Phill. miyagisansugoi@msn.com after hiking we will go somewhere to get drunk. sounds good, doesn`t it? Anyway If there is someone who wants to join us YOU ARE ALL WELCOM. Please let me know. We will have fun together. Yeah!! Okay everyone I am looking forward to hearing from you guys. JYANE OYASUMI MIYAGISAN.

[Anonymous]

Hey!
i am a western woman, who digs japanese guys...but tallish japanese guys and friendly ones who are ambitious. Do you like Dj's and Vj's and art? you should come to a future event at a bar called MILK in Ebisu June 14!
here is the website information... www.milk-tokyo.com .
my western friends who speak fluent japanese (i speak a wee bit) throw these great music/visual parties...there party name is BLOTTO.
check out the website for details! hope you can make it....
info@blotto.jp or www.blotto.jp
there will be a handful of western women, so don't be shy...introduce yourself!
see you, lilly marlene

[sofy]

The fact that you like white women is not normal?
What is normal anyway?
We're all humans, no matter the color of the skin...
Surely you'll get ppl getting in your way, being different lookslike a crime
to lots of people.
^-^
Follow your heart, not people's mouths.

[woody]

Miyagi-san,

I am likewise a foreigner, working in Tokyo on an Engineers work visa. I am a certified Scuba Diver who also does hiking/paragliding (I seem to be afraid of level places!). Do arrange something so I can get away from this computer (yes, work load is slack at this moment; it seems all the CPUs are busy folding or talking to ET).

Hey, I am interested in Japanese women! I'd like to meet some. In truth, I haven't had time to get around too much (have been here just 6 months now). And I do volunteer computer work at the local church. I get to meet quite a number of eligible foreign women, there. We are usually active over the weekends.

Let's touch base and see if we'll this will eventually lead to something we can swap stories on when we get drunk in the future! Choose you poison (in the mountains or somewhere under the Great Barrier Reef). Er, I am not bi-lingual, like I keep saying, I do Tech Support work that requires English (only, so far).

Thx.

Woody

[Anonymous]

dony give up i am gaijin girl married to a japanese guy
we meet in NZ i am a kiwi
maybe you should look around cafes and approach nice girls slowly
then you will find a girl with a japanese heart but the outside the way you want ( bag girls are maybe in the night time areas you know what i mean and they may not have visa and alot of germs from sleeping with too many guys)
i am soft natured so my heart is like japanese but outside is blue eyes etc...
my husband is very kind and sweet
maybe think about the girl you want outgoing? sporty ?
then go to nightclubs and bars
quiet? then go to cafes or librarys
you know what i mean
gambatte!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

'i am soft natured so my heart is like japanese but outside is blue eyes etc'

...and i thought blue eyes were a sure indicator of a cold and ill-tempered heart ;)

[Anonymous]

cheeky cheeky !!!!!
or should i say itazarako !!!
dont you know all the girls portrayed in manga have lovely blue eyes
maybe you should get to know some girls with blue eyes we are not all so harsh :)

[sofy]

hello "frustrated osaka",

Just wanna say hello,
and also that i was in the same situation as you,
i don't know if you are still in japan.
As for me i gave up,i came back to my homecountry.
I will sure go back to Japan later.like 3 or 4 years...

Wish you better luck ^-^


~Sofy~

[Me]

frustrated osaka - where have you met j-guys in osaka? the nice ones all seem to go in hiding after they finish university

[Phil]

Frustrated Osaka - I am sure you can find a man to "un-frustrate" you. Should you continue to have trouble let me know and I will see what I can do...