When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

[westsan]

Disgusting, Absolutely disgusting!

...but absolutely true.

[Anonymous]

How is this different from other countries?

[Anonymous]

Very Different. Take your pick (country).

Your Mama got married and still worked. Right?

Mine did. (non japan)

[Anonymous]

In Japan, some mothers work as well......albeit the percentage is not nearly as high as western countries. There are plenty of women in the US, Canada etc. etc. etc. who would prefer to marry than to work. Big deal.....thats their choice, and some husbands may prefer to have a wife that stays at home raising the kids (if thats not full time work, I don't know what is), taking care of the house and so on......In Japan, the majority of stay at home moms run the show. They rule the house, they take care of paying the bills, taking care of the kids, cooking, the list goes on......

[Anonymous]

My mother is a Japanese national and she worked before during and after my brother and myself were conceived. This maybe because she is Okinawan which makes her not truly Japanese.

[Coin-Operated-Clown]

"[My mother] worked before during and after my brother and myself were conceived."

"during"???

Truly, this is admirable multi-tasking.

COC

[Kent Brockman]

It`s a left hemisphere/right hemisphere thing, you wouldn`t understand.

[Phil]

Again I agree with Westsan. If the guy knows up front that's the deal ok, but a few guys I know were blindsided. Even when the chick has an education and earning capacity often she wants to stay home and take 'photography lessons' and have coffee mornings...

[westsan]

aaahh the blindside!

[Anonymous]

I think a women whom ever she is Japanese Or Western, Or Japaanese-American, etc. Each one or women needs a sense of individuality for her own well-being. Staying at home doing nothing is un-healthy, but It is a preference issue I think. Regardless of how much my J-Husband earns, I still work because it is good for me. It is good for my own self worth, being, and confidence. I think it is a preferernce issue, and I do not agree with some women`s preferences, one is staying at home doing nothing! I do know where you are coming from, I can name a few of my close friends who do just that. To be a confident women you need to at least have some "Independence"! Just my opinion!



Oh well. For each person, or women in this case, it depends on what makes them happy!

[Phil]

Digital girl you sound like many motivated (non-J) women. Good on you.

The interesting thing is that J-men I think are probably a great bargain for LAZY foreign women (though much less so for the motivated kind). Since J-men have this whole Samurai spirit thing going, and being the inverse of J-girls, they would probably have no probs working their balls off and giving their wives all their money, with which to buy Louis Vuitton and other essentials...

[Anonymous]

Yes, so true! My husband bought me a gift for my birthday (LV) I wanted to fit in with my J-Girlfriends. It was just nice and lovely. However I got a different feeling when I was able to buy my own LV nearly over 700.00 it was a proud and nice feeling. Regardless of how much money we have or do not have an LV purse is expensive! I think a husband and wife should be a partnership, but I do understand that Samurai J-guy as my husband tends to be the more independant I become, but what is most important is we lean on each other.



Thank you for you nice kind regards and great comments!

[jguylover]

Paying 70,000 yen for a purse gave you a sense of well-being?

"to fit in with my Japanese girlfriends"

A very admirable goal, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Well, I would not say a sense of well-being! It is just something a bit "Catty"I found myself doing since living here. I am not one to usually follow the crowd, and I just tried to use the LV situaion as an example. But, yes being able to BUY one myself on my own, gave me a sense of well-being. I admit, that I try to fit in some like anyone else, but if feels good to do it myself instead of always having my husband take care of those needs! How about you. Did you find yourself bending your rules a little bit? To try to fit in?

Kind Regards

[Anonymous]

back in my cubicle here in the states, which means plenty of time for slacking. regarding the LV thread within a thread--when i was in japan i had a healthy desire to firebomb their store in kobe. if my wife had dressed like typical kobe girls i would have never married her. it's sexy, don't get me wrong, but they're not merely shallow--there's the dried chaff at the edge of a barren lake. this desire along with my great desire to gather all hello kitties the world over, placing them in the tokyo dome, and dropping a MOAB on it.

as for women working subsequent to marriage and/or kids--this is a complex issue, obviously. in japan it outside views seem to break down along these lines: women are either being held down in these roles (identities of relation as opposed to their own), or women are embracing their own disenfranchised state. makes me think of america's now "volunteer" military. of course many would volunteer given the limited options available to the poor. in japan women clearly have limited avenues. can they balance family and career as western women can, or will they face significant obstacles in making attempts at such dual lives. their choices often require sacrificing one or the other--at least that's how they perceive it. part of this is how lame the J-gov't has been in enforcing equality, or how many companies choose to ignore legislation that protects women in the workplace, from harrassment, lack of promotion, and equitable salaries, not to mention maternity and day-care benefits even remotely approximating western standards. then there are the more subtle, inherent messages drilled into japanese women since birth. the commericals on the telly that are remindful of '50's era tv programming and ads here in the states. the happy housewife and mother--with her bottle of dishsoap and the enormous grin and sense of accomplishment and pride. or the roles (models) most women have in japanese dramas. back to LV--they themselves are accessories, ornaments--complicit, sadly, in their own diminishing existence. and then there is the enormous pressure put on women who marry into other families--how many mother-in-laws even today are supportive of a daughter-in-law who might shirk her primary role in life--motherhood. and many husbands heed their mothers more than their wives. all the messages in japanese society today either reinforce this choice (ending a woman's career after marriage/kids), or fail to properly encourage women to break free of their prisonhouse existence.

another issue would be women who think they are breaking free of the traditional paradigm by refusing marriage, working, but living with their parents and shopping to their hearts' desires. this is not independence, but selfish, parasitic dependence. and try to have conversations with these women--the most boring people i have ever met. compared to these women, J-housewives ARE role models.

as a yank i cannot imagine having a housewife and that alone. of course, some of this is selfish--i don't want the entire financial burden of taking care of my family. but more than that is my western sensibility, drilled into me since youth--that a woman is an equal, and anything less than a career is somehow shameful, and not worthy of my respect.

as in all issues that touch on japan and the west there might be balance. it should all be about choice. presently in japan, i still think most industries do not give a fair shake to female employees, but more women obviously need to stick it out--past the age of 27. am i going to promote a woman, invest my company's future in her leadership, over a guy, when in the back of my mind is the very realistic possibility that no matter how qualified, educated, and diligent, that by the time she's 30 she'll be gone. so, that's a tough thing to rectify.

but what american society is telling us is also wrong, and i'm not sure how much our example resembles other developed nations'. here the message is both parents have to work, more and more hours--europeans work on average 12 weeks less than us a year!!! but is all this labor necessary. when most of the labor is dedicated simply to more and more wealth--making money more often than tangible products of value to a society. aren't both parents choosing to work their asses off to one distinct end--wealth. couples making 100,000$/year and complaining about how they're making do. this is absurd. it's not about need but greed. what you're seeing in the u.s. is that both parents have very limited roles in their childrens' lives. they compensate for this by trying to be their friends, not their parents, spoiling the ever chubbier tykes more and more, indulging their every fancy. i know this is hardly unheard of in japan, and in greater asia, but at least there children more often than not have a full-time parent to keep them grounded, and of even greater benefit, grandparents, nearby. here in the states we're so mobile and disconnected from one another, and especially our roots, all of us chasing after the american dream. my wife grew up with a stay at home mom, and 4 grandparents nearby, two within walking distance. i grew up with a tv. and our system is best!? meanwhile our kids are getting stoned and having sex as soon as school is out. that was fine when i was 16, but now the numbers are astonishing--12 years old and it's starting. simply pointing your finger at japanese women and blaming them for their position--that's way too simplistic.

[westsan]

"I think a husband and wife should be a partnership"

Thats what I'm saying!!

[Phil]

Agreed

[User Name Deleted]

My J-wife has worked since we got married, but now that she's pregnant, she'll be quitting in a few months. I wonder if she'll ever work again.

[paulh]

My J-wife has worked since we got married, but now that she's pregnant, she'll be quitting in a few months. I wonder if she'll ever work again.

J.T. Looks like you'll be a SITCOM


Single Income, Two Kids and Oppressive Mortgage. Welcome to the Overworked Gaijin Daddies club. I'm a founding member.

[paulh]

. I wonder if she'll ever work again.

I seriously doubt it. Full Time professional Mommy.

[B1-B2]

My wife went back too, not all give up working. She does it because she loves her job.

[User Name Deleted]

J.T. Looks like you'll be a SITCOM


Single Income, Two Kids and Oppressive Mortgage. Welcome to the Overworked Gaijin Daddies club. I'm a founding member.

Yep, Paulie I can see it coming. Still, if I 頑張るenough I should be fine. Looking at having at least three kids though.


I think she'll probably do some katei kyoushi type stuff when we get back to Japan, but no more than that. I'm fine with that for the time being.

[paulh]

Yep, Paulie I can see it coming. Still, if I 頑張るenough I should be fine. Looking at having at least three kids though.
.


Im sure you can afford it but 3 kids in Japan will SERIOUSLY break the bank, especially if you factor in International schools as well.

I'm coping, but only just. Mine are 12 and 7.

[User Name Deleted]

Im sure you can afford it but 3 kids in Japan will SERIOUSLY break the bank, especially if you factor in International schools as well.

I'm coping, but only just. Mine are 12 and 7.

Plan is to send them to J-elementary school, and thereafter boarding school in Australia. It's a little bit budget dependent, as you can imagine, but I can't see myself not making enough money to afford it. Will mean a lot of hard work for myself though.

[paulh]

Plan is to send them to J-elementary school, and thereafter boarding school in Australia. It's a little bit budget dependent, as you can imagine, but I can't see myself not making enough money to afford it. Will mean a lot of hard work for myself though.


Both my kids are in J-elementary school now, 2nd and 6th grade. Its JHS where all the problems start.

In elementary school they will be socialised as japanese kids as well. Pretty hard to get English in unless you teach them at home. I have heard of kids being bullied etc but my kids have never had any problems whatsoever being born here and going to school with friends is the main reason.

Public schools are cheap (about 5,000 yen a year) but private elementary will cost big bucks. Ritsumeikan just open an ES and school fees are 1.5 million a year. this is for elementary school kids.

PS I have education funds for my kids so I can afford for them to go to university eventually.

[Steve Jobs]

Yep, Paulie I can see it coming. Still, if I 頑張るenough I should be fine. Looking at having at least three kids though.


tsk tsk, don't be a wallguy. Make sure she finds a parttime job once the little earthling attends kindergarten.

Having her stay at home with you working all the time will eventually end up with you not knowing the woman you married and your own kids. She will totally tune you out and you guys will have absolutely nothing in common.

Every women with a kid should have a parttime job. Don't slave away breaking your back bro, don't ever end up like those sarary guys. Don't become a stranger in your own home.

Every man needs to spend time with his family. Those dinner moments are golden

[survivorfan]

I laugh when I hear guys complaining that their wives don't work. Grab some balls fellows! If there is no reason for the wife to be at home (children are in school), then the wife has no reason for not working.

My wife and I both work, and she's pregnant with the second child. She'll take two months off and return to teaching at university. I know that some companies make their female staff quit when they have their first child (or even if they get married). But, finding a part-time job shouldn't be difficult.

In my opinion, many wives don't work cause they think housework is their work. HELLO, welcome to the 21st century ladies! They shouldn't be so selfish as to have their very hard-working husband financially support the whole family while they're out spending money and "chatting" with their friends at a Starbucks every afternoon. Their parents sent them to college/university at great expense, so they shouldn't take such a lazy attitude.

My wife and I share the housework, so if a fellow wants his wife to work, then he's gotta do some work around the house too. This'll give the wife no excuse for staying home because she does housework.

[latinoinkobe]

I laugh when I hear guys complaining that their wives don't work. Grab some balls fellows! If there is no reason for the wife to be at home (children are in school), then the wife has no reason for not working.

My wife and I both work, and she's pregnant with the second child. She'll take two months off and return to teaching at university. I know that some companies make their female staff quit when they have their first child (or even if they get married). But, finding a part-time job shouldn't be difficult.

In my opinion, many wives don't work cause they think housework is their work. HELLO, welcome to the 21st century ladies! They shouldn't be so selfish as to have their very hard-working husband financially support the whole family while they're out spending money and "chatting" with their friends at a Starbucks every afternoon. Their parents sent them to college/university at great expense, so they shouldn't take such a lazy attitude.

My wife and I share the housework, so if a fellow wants his wife to work, then he's gotta do some work around the house too. This'll give the wife no excuse for staying home because she does housework.
Well said mate me wife also works and on weekends I do the cooking:)hahaa nice mex-latin cooking though:p

[kurogane]

I laugh when I hear guys complaining that their wives don't work. Grab some balls fellows! .

I think they're worried that if they broach the subject, it won't be them that'll be doing the ball grabbing.

[WalkingTabloid]

aren't there any of you who don't want your wives working?

Mine hates it when I work. No, not some manly pride thing.

He needs someone to make sure his dry cleaning is up to date, the house is immaculate, a dinner party can be planned on a moment's notice, someone doing the paperwork for various household and business crap, someone to do the grocery shopping, to make business calls so he can multitask, basically... someone to run the damn house and be his personal assitant. He comes home nearly 10-11pm most nights, he has no time to do jack squat besides go to work and come home during the week, and usually has a meeting or two on weekends. We've had screaming fights where I say "LOOK I can either work and bring some money in here while you do your freaking MBA or I can stay home and be your personal assistant, I CANNOT do both!"

(Note: if your spouse tries to tell you he's going to do his MBA full time while doing his articling for his law license, and continue to practice law while doing his MBA full time once articling is over, please check to see exactly how much crack he is consuming)

Oh he is so counting down until he finishes. I don't mind not working for my own personal paycheck (we do work well together from past experience) so long as I have the means (education +skills) to go back in case he croaks or trades me in for a younger model.

[thickmick]

So is he working full time and doing the MBA ? i DID ONCE offer my wife 200,000 a month to stay at home ,she refused (boy was that a relief).. ITHINK IF YOU HAVE NO KIDS ,why should you waste your life waiting around at home .

[survivorfan]

I think they're worried that if they broach the subject, it won't be them that'll be doing the ball grabbing.

Classic...good one!

[kurogane]

Classic...good one!

I knew some of the good people were paying attention somewhere

:p

[diva]

hmmmm....my wife works but she's not Japanese.

(right, now here's what I really want to say)

Why is JT answering threads that are 3 years old?????

I have this image of JT as one of the droids in 'Silent Running' wandering around the internet corridors of GP checking everything.

And doesn't JT stand for Japanese Turing test?

[kurogane]

hmmmm....my wife works but she's not Japanese.

(right, now here's what I really want to say)

Why is JT answering threads that are 3 years old?????

I have this image of JT as one of the droids in 'Silent Running' wandering around the internet corridors of GP checking everything.

And doesn't JT stand for Japanese Turing test?

If she weren't working would she be?

Seriously, though, why are you responding to three year old threads that J.T revived?

[diva]

well, she stops work next year...and if she turns into a Japanese person I will be on here like a shot to let you all know.

(though you'll probably see it on the news first)

[kurogane]

well, she stops work next year...and if she turns into a Japanese person I will be on here like a shot to let you all know.

(though you'll probably see it on the news first)

Well, if that happens, at least we have a theme song ready for her Grand Transmogrification

[User Name Deleted]

Why is JT answering threads that are 3 years old?????



Diva,

here's why.

http://www.gaijinpot.com/bb/showthread.php?t=23408


I hope that answers your question, even if you did take an unprovoked swipe at me.

[diva]

Diva,

here's why.

http://www.gaijinpot.com/bb/showthread.php?t=23408


I hope that answers your question, even if you did take an unprovoked swipe at me.

calm down! I think you mean 'gentle ribbing' not 'unprovoked swipe'. If you are that sensitive, no wonder you and 'taffy' are always bashing antlers.

[User Name Deleted]

calm down! I think you mean 'gentle ribbing' not 'unprovoked swipe'. If you are that sensitive, no wonder you and 'taffy' are always bashing antlers.

Don't think I didn't notice how you voted in the recently deleted 'Least favourite Supreme Pot' thread.

You've hurt my feelings deeply Diva.

In all seriousness though, you're right there's not much that happens on this forum that doesn't get past me. Perhaps I should spend less time here though.

[diva]

Don't think I didn't notice how you voted in the recently deleted 'Least favourite Supreme Pot' thread.

You've hurt my feelings deeply Diva.

In all seriousness though, you're right there's not much that happens on this forum that doesn't get past me. Perhaps I should spend less time here though.

(bugger...I thought that was a secret vote....hmmm...)

I only voted for you because I know you and kurogane like to be together.

GP would be a strange place without you...

[cutyourhair]

I am beginning to think that it is true. Pretty pathetic.