How does one meet the timid JBoy?

[Anonymous]

I have been in Tokyo for awhile now and I am getting frustrated at the shyness of the JBoys. I am fairly certain that I am more than cute enough to attract any number of them, but I have yet to be approached by anyone but drunk salarymen.

Any tips and tricks for breaking the ice?　　 Or better yet, inviting them too?

[westsan]

I say it is only "salarymen" that have the courage to even talk to u. They first learn valor at work.
- and they may have to be drunk at that.

You may try Japanese guys that hang out with gaijin guys... I have created a couple of monsters myself
-- except for one guy they are no longer shy anymore although they once were very much so.
-- but that is no fun for the perverted female personality trait that only likes what she can never get - whoops, I SAID that?!

send me an email. I may try to set you up with my one shy friend (22yr hip hopper)

[jotty]

I agree, if you want to get anywhere with the shy boys here you gotta make the first move. Gently maybe, and repeatedly.

If he is truely shy, its probably not going to work out...

However, if he is the strong, silent type, then it might be ok.

Personally, i go for the more genki, confident boys, ones who have lived O/S for example, and ive often found that artistic types have more spunk, so to speak...

But at the same time, yeah, so many japanese boys really are shy ne! Korean and Chinese boys are a lot more outgoing....

But always, be yourself!

Westsan: What do you want? Do you want a limp, weak girl or a girl with get up and go? Do you want a girl who knows what she wants and isnt afraid to go for it or do you want a girl who sits around with no ambitions or direction, waiting to be pushed into something by the men around her? I know im being cheeky here, but you cant both warn girls away from being strong and complain about them being weak...

[jguylover]

ignore him, jotty, he is being sarcastic. and it's getting tiresome.

Hey, me too! I really go for the artistic types! I loooooooove long hair & tatoos.

And I ALWAYS make the first move. I figure if he's scared away by it, he's not the type of guy who I would be interested in anyway.

And besides, I'm not scared of what "might happen" (^_-)

[westsan]

Mind you I am not talking about myself here.

Point A> Girls that make the first move WILL GET USED...99% of the time. I will not argue this point.

Point B> Without "making advances" by being close by and and making a guy feel confident (dropping hints, whatever) you will achieve your objective.


Excepting> there may be situations that work out with a gal making the first move.
But especially in interracial relationships the odds are even worse.
I would advise you to ignore jloverguys advice because her entire relationship world is solely infatuation.

[jguylover]

you dissect my love life with such precision! Are we best friends, and I don't even know it??? I mean, you seem to know so much about me!

NOT!

(^_-)

[westsan]

Hey you started it:

> and it's getting tiresome.

And said too much.

I usually agree with you!
We should not argue!

[jotty]

I was kinda being cheeky... But once again, i agree with Jguylover, if he is threatened by me making the first move, then hes not going to be up for much... and forgive me for perpetuating things that should probably be left alone, but the hypocrisy is just too much. But hey, i cant change anyone, not even thinking that i can, just want say, i can see a gap here. We all know.... v's Im not talking about myself here.... hmmmm.

[jotty]

I will not argue this point either.

[westsan]

Jotty said>>

Westsan: What do you want? Do you want a limp, weak girl or a girl with get up and go? Do you want a girl who knows what she wants and isnt afraid to go for it or do you want a girl who sits around with no ambitions or direction, waiting to be pushed into something by the men around her? I know im being cheeky here, but you cant both warn girls away from being strong and complain about them being weak...


That really made me think. I dont know why it took so long for me to recall that.

You dont have to allways be in somebody's face...
...to be both attractive & supportive. Duh

[TehnonsloppygpoonWINZ]

It`s easy. tie him to a chair and whip him. I also find tickle torture to be crazy effective.

J-dudes are very mazo. I love this country.

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

I've found that Jguys that are often perceived as shy tend to fall under 2 categories:

1) The kind who take a while to get to know a girl before asking her out. With these kind of guys, it sort of starts as friends and then kind of melds into dating, sometimes without really saying much. But some of them will back off if they get to know you more and find out that you aren't really what they're looking for. they don't like to make the kind of commitment of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship unless they're sure it's a relationship they wanna get into. The bad thing is that sometimes this process can be tedious and take a while, but the good thing is that these guys tend to value the relationship a lot and are less likely to be playa'z. they tend to prefer getting to know someone through their circle of friends and like girls who can chill with most of their other friends.

2) He's not really shy, he's actually just not interested, but too polite to tell you that straight up and hurt your feelings.

Of course a lot of jguys may make ASSumptions like you proably don't speak Japanese/they don't speak enough English, or that foreign chicks have boyfriend from their home countries, or that you're only here for a short while and are going to go back to your country. But, lots of guys who think like this will still talk to foreign girls anyway, they'll just wait on making any clear moves until they know that some of the above assumptions are not true.

There's no shortage of cute, outgoing, non-English-speaking jguys around...but those artsy ones tend to hang out in close-knit groups of only a few friends with whom they typically share hobbies. Having a common hobby is the best way to break the ice with a jguy that you want to date (lolz there are much easier methods if you just want the boo-tay though). Sometimes, sharing a common hobby makes you a little less "foreign" in a way.

I usually don't even bother with the English-speaking jguys much anymore. Yeah, they are more outgoing, but I really don't like the ones who try and impress Western girls with how Westernized they can act...I'll just date a Western dude if that's what I'm after. People are generally more than merely their home culture...it's probably boring for Japanese when they hear a Westerner try to impress them by lecturing on some Japanese stuff like anime or martial arts or history, and I know it's annoying as hell in reverse.

[Laquer]

Ha, ha. Nice work, Pink. As soon as I saw the title of this thread I thought to myself, hmmm, now how I am going to break it to this nice OP that the shy j-boy is a myth to save them from having to express disinterest outright?

Glad to hear someone else break it down in a nicer way (even though the OP was from 2003, it'll help any other chicks lurking around)...

Japanese guys are some of the most aggressive in the world when it comes to romance. They will give you the seductive eye even if you're walking hand-in-hand down the street with someone twice their size.

I have never been propositioned so much in any other country. Since I highly doubt I have gotten hotter in my late 30's, I have to think it's because Japanese guys are used to getting the women they want and genuinely shocked if they find out they can't ____ every woman they encounter.

[I voted for Dukakis]

lol. good job, pink chan. this thread was posted back in 2003. that said, ____ shy guys. you need to look no further... call I voted for Dukakis.

[DeCoR]

What shes only 5 years late!

[littledoll]

Ha, ha. Nice work, Pink. As soon as I saw the title of this thread I thought to myself, hmmm, now how I am going to break it to this nice OP that the shy j-boy is a myth to save them from having to express disinterest outright?

Glad to hear someone else break it down in a nicer way (even though the OP was from 2003, it'll help any other chicks lurking around)...

Japanese guys are some of the most aggressive in the world when it comes to romance. They will give you the seductive eye even if you're walking hand-in-hand down the street with someone twice their size.

I have never been propositioned so much in any other country. Since I highly doubt I have gotten hotter in my late 30's, I have to think it's because Japanese guys are used to getting the women they want and genuinely shocked if they find out they can't ____ every woman they encounter.

I totally 100% agree. When I went to Japan last summer with my then-boyfriend (6'3", kind of intimidating looking, etc.) I still got guys obviously giving me the eye all the time and got groped when crossing the street (one of the most wtf experiences of my life). It will probably be 10X more intense when I go without a guy. Sure, there will always be some guys that are shy, but something is wrong if you're not getting attention pretty often. >_>

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

lol. good job, pink chan. this thread was posted back in 2003. that said, ____ shy guys. you need to look no further... call I voted for Dukakis.

This thread wasn't resurrected by me but rather by TehnonsloppygpoonWINZ...

if that screen name doesn't top mine, I don't know what does!

[I voted for Dukakis]

This thread wasn't resurrected by me but rather by TehnonsloppygpoonWINZ...

if that screen name doesn't top mine, I don't know what does!
OK. OK... I think I should stop talking ____ on internet. some people are seriously getting pissed coz I pretend like a stupid American and brag all the time. (ollopa, Laquer, SteadyRollingMan) This one guy's like stalking me coz said I can attain conversational level of fluency in any language within 6 months. I think I make it clear that it's all part of the joke but I guess most people think I'm for real or something... (kurogane used to get pissed at me coz I was so stupid now he gets pissed coz I act so smartass and talk like some kind of scholar or something) I also just realized most of the posters on this website are over 35. much older than me... (even your like 1 or 2 years older) I'm certainly not like this in real life, though. I'm really laid-back and softspoken. and I think your one of the 3 or 4 coolest people on this sh!thole website.

[I voted for Dukakis]

This thread wasn't resurrected by me but rather by TehnonsloppygpoonWINZ...

if that screen name doesn't top mine, I don't know what does!
and I also know that I'm one of the people who make this website a sh!thole. believe or not, I know what I'm doing and what I sound like. Most people think I'm like that village idiot FSU except I'm much more sarcastic and confusing.

[pan pan shinoge]

In my experience Japanese guys don't approach me very often.

Unless very very drunk.

There was the Japanese guy who had a crush on me and decided to express it by stealing my things, hitting me, calling me names e.t.c......

(sounds like high school, be he was 22!!)

I think that it is really hard to pick up guys, if you are looking for a long term relationship.

I think that you have to be part of something where you will meet the same guys over a long term basis and build up a relationship gradually.

Or, sometimes you just meet, start talking, next minute you're having the after cigarrette sex.

But it is hard. I study martial arts so I get to meet a lots of guys this way.

However, people in bars, supermarkets, doesn't happen for me okay.

But I symphathise with you.

All I can say is be bold and go with your gut.

I think that many boys in Japan like to be spoiled though. They like to get attention from girls rather than give attention. But this is just my experience and it may not apply to all boys

[I voted for Dukakis]

In my experience Japanese guys don't approach me very often.

Unless very very drunk.

There was the Japanese guy who had a crush on me and decided to express it by stealing my things, hitting me, calling me names e.t.c......

(sounds like high school, be he was 22!!)

I think that it is really hard to pick up guys, if you are looking for a long term relationship.

I think that you have to be part of something where you will meet the same guys over a long term basis and build up a relationship gradually.

Or, sometimes you just meet, start talking, next minute you're having the after cigarrette sex.

But it is hard. I study martial arts so I get to meet a lots of guys this way.

However, people in bars, supermarkets, doesn't happen for me okay.

But I symphathise with you.

All I can say is be bold and go with your gut.

I think that many boys in Japan like to be spoiled though. They like to get attention from girls rather than give attention. But this is just my experience and it may not apply to all boys
do you know this thread was posted 5 years ago and "pan pan" means "prostitute?"

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

I think she is hoping you'll pick up on her in a supermarket.

I mean, that's yo thing, right?

[pan pan shinoge]

I think she is hoping you'll pick up on her in a supermarket.

I mean, that's yo thing, right?

You've never been picked up in a supermarket?

Then again, I do live in a student city and the supermarket outside the university is a very good place to meet people.

That's my bubble burst.

Yep 'pan pan' or 'women of the dark' is a term used to refer to the post war prostitues with their lipstick, nail polish, nylon stockings, cigarettes etc

I tried prostitution once but went out of business because no-one would buy.

The true meaning of my nickname is only interesting if you study martial arts so maybe 'prostitute' is better.

[I voted for Dukakis]

You've never been picked up in a supermarket?

Then again, I do live in a student city and the supermarket outside the university is a very good place to meet people.

That's my bubble burst.

Yep 'pan pan' or 'women of the dark' is a term used to refer to the post war prostitues with their lipstick, nail polish, nylon stockings, cigarettes etc

I tried prostitution once but went out of business because no-one would buy.

The true meaning of my nickname is only interesting if you study martial arts so maybe 'prostitute' is better.
you've tried prostitution? oh my. takotako, hear that? she's on a higher level than you.

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

You've never been picked up in a supermarket?

Then again, I do live in a student city and the supermarket outside the university is a very good place to meet people.

That's my bubble burst.

Yep 'pan pan' or 'women of the dark' is a term used to refer to the post war prostitues with their lipstick, nail polish, nylon stockings, cigarettes etc

I tried prostitution once but went out of business because no-one would buy.

The true meaning of my nickname is only interesting if you study martial arts so maybe 'prostitute' is better.

When I was a college student, one of the supermarkets in town was pretty much a meat market, but I didn't go there very often...I lived like a 5 minute walk from a Mexican supermarket where everything was like half the price of the other one, and when you're a college student, that matters a lot :)

That, and I usually don't trust guys that I likely don't share much in common with. A supermarket seems way too general of a place to really figure out much about another person at first glance, at least in the US. Guess I need to hang around J-supermarkets more to figure out the scene here. Despite my sometimes ho-like tendencies, I am extremely picky. I've been nampa'd in quite a wide variety of places, but never a supermarket as far as I can remember.

[I voted for Dukakis]

In my experience Japanese guys don't approach me very often.

Unless very very drunk.

There was the Japanese guy who had a crush on me and decided to express it by stealing my things, hitting me, calling me names e.t.c......

(sounds like high school, be he was 22!!)

I think that it is really hard to pick up guys, if you are looking for a long term relationship.

I think that you have to be part of something where you will meet the same guys over a long term basis and build up a relationship gradually.

Or, sometimes you just meet, start talking, next minute you're having the after cigarrette sex.

But it is hard. I study martial arts so I get to meet a lots of guys this way.

However, people in bars, supermarkets, doesn't happen for me okay.

But I symphathise with you.

All I can say is be bold and go with your gut.

I think that many boys in Japan like to be spoiled though. They like to get attention from girls rather than give attention. But this is just my experience and it may not apply to all boys
ok, I just read your original post for the first time. I actually have a lot to say about this stuff since a lot of gaijins simply misunderstand us. I try not to speak up coz this is friggin internet. but I guess a little seriousness won't hurt. most gaijins form this stereotype of j-men being spoiled, insecure, immature, etc (I know I'm not helping) even before they get here coz that's what they teach in school, media, etc. and if you see things through the stereotypes you already have, it IS what you will perceive. you only see what you WANT to see. the words of the wise man. you feel like you are experiencing. and you say to yourself "wow CNN was right! it is true." but it is not well... for the lack of words, the reality. what I mean by this is your only linking the preformed images in your head to the perception. yes, stereotypes ARE the reality in many cases. To tell the truth, I'm not particularly opposed to stereotypes coz they are a natural part of being human, but it does make me feel uncomfortable when a gaijin automatically assumes I like to have tentacle sex.

[PK1387]

I no longer consider japanese men to be shy. If they are interested in you they will approach. Have you been to nightclubs or bars? If you notice a guy looking at you, try smiling or waving at them. Sometimes doing this causes them to approach you, if you are too shy to do it yourself.

[simplemind]

Yeah! Smiling and waving your arms isn't scary at all, especially in a nightclub or bar. Japanese doods all love that in anime characters.

Go for the nerd way....

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

Japanese men are shy because of they worry of _____ size, can their little chinkos fit your very big vaginas

LOL this coming from a guy who supposedly spent a bit of time in New Zealand...sorry to hear that the sheep were too stretched out for your pleasure.

[PK1387]

Yeah! Smiling and waving your arms isn't scary at all, especially in a nightclub or bar. Japanese doods all love that in anime characters.

Go for the nerd way....
Don't hate. It really works if done correctly.

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

Don't hate. It really works if done correctly.
The technique with the highest success rate for me so far is 「釣り」...make eye contact with the boy of your choice and motion your arms like you are casting a fishing rod, and reel the boy right in.

[I voted for Dukakis]

The technique with the highest success rate for me so far is 「釣り」...make eye contact with the boy of your choice and motion your arms like you are casting a fishing rod, and reel the boy right in.
LOL. That's so retarded. If you did it to me I would give you the finger and tell you to ____ off. Now on the other hand... smiling and waving are kind of cute.

[YokohamaYamate]

do you know this thread was posted 5 years ago and "pan pan" means "prostitute?"

I think "pan pan" comes from Pigeon English, widely used in the Pacific in World War II.

The verb form is "-him". So "walk-him dog". Or "cut-him grass" (which means a 'haircut' - hence it becomes a noun form as well). When walking around red light districts the common invitation was "You wanna pump-him girl?" The noun form is "pump-him girl". In Japan this was quickly transformed to "pan-pan garu".

[blablabla]

what about smiling at them?
you don't need to be the first one to ask them out.
but maybe you'll need to be the first one to talk to them.
once the contact is made, it'll take some time, you'll go for a coffee, then a drink, and so on. the more serious about you he is, the more he'll take his time.
you'll have to create some occasions but he'll need time to finally understand. and someday it will happen.
I never found it difficult.
maybe you think they don't look at you but it's because when they look at you they move only the eyes, not the whole head (and the body) like western guys. So it's hard to get at first, but now I know when a jman looks at me. And it happens as much as anywhere else
good luck

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

LOL. That's so retarded. If you did it to me I would give you the finger and tell you to ____ off. Now on the other hand... smiling and waving are kind of cute.

Retarded, but it works. But works MUCH better in Kansai...I don't get the vibe from most kanto dudes that they're down for being fished. I feel like kanto guys seem to like to take more of the initiative themselves whereas kansai guys, although sometimes very direct in their nampa, appreciate it the other way around quite a bit as well.

[kurogane]

Retarded, but it works. But works MUCH better in Kansai...I don't get the vibe from most kanto dudes that they're down for being fished. I feel like kanto guys seem to like to take more of the initiative themselves whereas kansai guys, although sometimes very direct in their nampa, appreciate it the other way around quite a bit as well.

That might be part of it, but the biggest problem is that Easterners simply don't respond well to unsolicited humour.

I think that is hilarious.



Reel me in, Bebbe!


Older, more confident J-Women have some great little Come Hither gestures.

If a woman can show me she has a playful sense of humour, I'm already half gone.

[I voted for Dukakis]

Retarded, but it works. But works MUCH better in Kansai...I don't get the vibe from most kanto dudes that they're down for being fished. I feel like kanto guys seem to like to take more of the initiative themselves whereas kansai guys, although sometimes very direct in their nampa, appreciate it the other way around quite a bit as well.
Oh. stupid Kansai people.... I don't understand those stupid fvckheads at all.

[I voted for Dukakis]

If a woman can show me she has a playful sense of humour, I'm already half gone.
all that means is you have a very low expectation. ;)

[I voted for Dukakis]

what about smiling at them?
you don't need to be the first one to ask them out.
but maybe you'll need to be the first one to talk to them.
once the contact is made, it'll take some time, you'll go for a coffee, then a drink, and so on. the more serious about you he is, the more he'll take his time.
you'll have to create some occasions but he'll need time to finally understand. and someday it will happen.
I never found it difficult.
maybe you think they don't look at you but it's because when they look at you they move only the eyes, not the whole head (and the body) like western guys. So it's hard to get at first, but now I know when a jman looks at me. And it happens as much as anywhere else
good luck
yes smiling is CUTE.

[letomoon]

Hi, sorry, had to revive this thread a little bit cause I had a question for the more experienced g-ladies in Japan.

It's very possible I just haven't been here long enough yet, but I notice that I don't get hit on at all unless it's older (above 40) Japanese men or blue-collar workers... usually in their work trucks... breaking their necks and potentially causing accidents as they yell about my oppai.

I was telling my Japanese gf how I was feeling a little sad cause Japanese guys don't flirt with me the way American guys did, and even though that's just little stuff it gives you a confidence boost. She told me that Japanese guys LOVE foreign girls - she even has a friend who doesn't want to date Japanese girls anymore after falling helplessly in love with Cameron Diaz (lol, Softbank, you kill me). But she said they were really shy and don't tend to look girls in the eye or flirt outwardly like foreign guys. She said the same was true even for her and her boyfriend - she had to make the first move.

So, I guess my question is basically, what should I do about this? I'm not looking for just sex (I'm pretty sure if I were I could handle that) and not a serious relationship - just casual dating. Also, I have no problem hitting on foreign guys, but when it comes to Japanese guys I get nervous, haha. Basically because I don't want to contribute to the stereotype of 'aggressive American chicks' and also cause I'm worried if my Japanese will be good enough.

Any suggestions from the wiser, more experienced folk?

[Hijinx]

Please meet said timid J-boy in public with lots of people around to help you in case--and it's very likely--he turns out to be a total psychopath.

[Travlrsong]

Flash your boobies at them. When they approach you, close your shirt and say, "Yadaaa! Hazukashi." Works every time.

[letomoon]

hahaha, with all the news reports i'm hearing lately, that's probably true... i'll 気をつけるよ。

[letomoon]

Flash your boobies at them. When they approach you, close your shirt and say, "Yadaaa! Hazukashi." Works every time.

lol. i haven't tried this approach. must try it on way home from work today.

[Selchin]

Move to Tokyo.

[letomoon]

Flashy Booby Attempt #1: seeing as how I walk right next to a batting range on the way home, I succeeded in getting three hot guys knocked out by flying baseballs.

Results were a failure, but quite humorous. Will attempt at other sports venues.


Move to Tokyo.

Luckily I am in about a month! But that's where I was before when I got no attention from guys... but I was only there around 4 months, so that might be it.

I refuse to believe it's because I might be undesirable in any way - lol.

[inuprincess]

lol. i haven't tried this approach. must try it on way home from work today.

I'm too polite to do something like that. o.O I'm also extremely shy which makes it hard to approach me, so it seems.

[letomoon]

Yeah, actually I'm kinda shy too... I sort of gave up worrying about it though, and then right after that, guys started flirting with me! *sigh*

Shoganai ne?

[the_pink_tako_yaki]

Hi, sorry, had to revive this thread a little bit cause I had a question for the more experienced g-ladies in Japan.

It's very possible I just haven't been here long enough yet, but I notice that I don't get hit on at all unless it's older (above 40) Japanese men or blue-collar workers... usually in their work trucks... breaking their necks and potentially causing accidents as they yell about my oppai.

I was telling my Japanese gf how I was feeling a little sad cause Japanese guys don't flirt with me the way American guys did, and even though that's just little stuff it gives you a confidence boost. She told me that Japanese guys LOVE foreign girls - she even has a friend who doesn't want to date Japanese girls anymore after falling helplessly in love with Cameron Diaz (lol, Softbank, you kill me). But she said they were really shy and don't tend to look girls in the eye or flirt outwardly like foreign guys. She said the same was true even for her and her boyfriend - she had to make the first move.

So, I guess my question is basically, what should I do about this? I'm not looking for just sex (I'm pretty sure if I were I could handle that) and not a serious relationship - just casual dating. Also, I have no problem hitting on foreign guys, but when it comes to Japanese guys I get nervous, haha. Basically because I don't want to contribute to the stereotype of 'aggressive American chicks' and also cause I'm worried if my Japanese will be good enough.

Any suggestions from the wiser, more experienced folk?


Make more Japanese friends, male and female. Cuz those friends will have other Japanese friends too. Young Japanese dudes might not go up and approach random girls in public very often but if there is some kind of social connection that can be used to break the ice, if they're interested at all, 90% chance they will approach you via that social connection ("oh, you're so-and-so's friend," or "didn't I see you at such-and-such event/place?" kind of approach.)
Think about it....isn't it easier to approach and start a conversation with someone that you KNOW you have something in common with?
Expand your circle of friends, pursue some social hobbies (are you into music events, or sports?) and you'll not only start meeting more people, but you'll also be more likely to meet the kind of people you want to be around.

[inuprincess]

Make more Japanese friends, male and female. Cuz those friends will have other Japanese friends too. Young Japanese dudes might not go up and approach random girls in public very often but if there is some kind of social connection that can be used to break the ice, if they're interested at all, 90% chance they will approach you via that social connection ("oh, you're so-and-so's friend," or "didn't I see you at such-and-such event/place?" kind of approach.)
Think about it....isn't it easier to approach and start a conversation with someone that you KNOW you have something in common with?
Expand your circle of friends, pursue some social hobbies (are you into music events, or sports?) and you'll not only start meeting more people, but you'll also be more likely to meet the kind of people you want to be around.

Sounds like a good idea.

[letomoon]

Make more Japanese friends, male and female. Cuz those friends will have other Japanese friends too. Young Japanese dudes might not go up and approach random girls in public very often but if there is some kind of social connection that can be used to break the ice, if they're interested at all, 90% chance they will approach you via that social connection ("oh, you're so-and-so's friend," or "didn't I see you at such-and-such event/place?" kind of approach.)
Think about it....isn't it easier to approach and start a conversation with someone that you KNOW you have something in common with?
Expand your circle of friends, pursue some social hobbies (are you into music events, or sports?) and you'll not only start meeting more people, but you'll also be more likely to meet the kind of people you want to be around.

Awesome advice! Thank you. :)
It's good common sense, too, which would explain why I didn't think of it, lol.

So... is anyone friends with someone who is friends with Ninomiya Kazunari?? (in case you don't know, the guy in my avatar, Arashi band member) ;)

[thatguyintheback]

why do you want timid jboys?

us gaijin are not good enough for you?

[thatguyintheback]

are you scared of a man with a backbone?

[letomoon]

why do you want timid jboys?

us gaijin are not good enough for you?

lol, gaijin are just fine too...

If I met a fellow gaijin and we ended up having feelings for each other, I wouldn't be opposed to that. But it's been my experience that *most* gaijin males here are looking for Japanese females. Which makes sense to me, honestly... if you want to be with a Japanese person, go to Japan! If I came here looking for a gaijin boyfriend, that would be really idiotic (or an indication of liking extreme challenges).

I have to say, I am getting hooked to these Japanese guys... but that doesn't mean I would exclude strapping young men of other races. ;)

As for the backbone, hopefully there are Jboys out there who have one...? I will find out! I begin a difficult quest, wraught with peril and sexual frustration... but I'm determined!

[letomoon]

BTW, I'm actually LOOKING for a guy with a backbone... I'm pretty stubborn, and I've discovered that if I'm with someone timid, we end up in the emotional roles of controller/subordinate, which is not fun at all...

I need someone as stubborn as me!

[Cinnamon_Legend]

BTW, I'm actually LOOKING for a guy with a backbone... I'm pretty stubborn, and I've discovered that if I'm with someone timid, we end up in the emotional roles of controller/subordinate, which is not fun at all...

I need someone as stubborn as me!

Sometimes opposites are better. Like if you have no patience, you'd better find a guy with a lot of it, or visa versa. Two people with no patience smells like trouble. I think there needs to be a dominant and submissive in every relationship otherwise there will just be a lot of fighting in the long run. I think when I used those terms people take it the wrong way though...

[urinal cake]

BTW, I'm actually LOOKING for a guy with a backbone... I'm pretty stubborn, and I've discovered that if I'm with someone timid, we end up in the emotional roles of controller/subordinate, which is not fun at all...

I need someone as stubborn as me!

youre looking for someone who has been ruined by the long term stay in gaikoku. where is i-voted-for-dukakis when you actually need him.?

[letomoon]

Sometimes opposites are better. Like if you have no patience, you'd better find a guy with a lot of it, or visa versa. Two people with no patience smells like trouble. I think there needs to be a dominant and submissive in every relationship otherwise there will just be a lot of fighting in the long run. I think when I used those terms people take it the wrong way though...

Haha, I just replied to your post on the other thread... yeah and I was worried about the dom/sub thing too. Although notice I tried to say "emotional." Lol.

Well, you have a point, but I *hate* being the controller. In my first relationship, I ended up using my control to basically use the guy, cause I didn't know any better. Now I do, so that doesn't happen anymore, but it still really sucks. I always end up having to make the decisions or nothing will get done at all, no matter how submissive, quiet, or supportive I try to be.

I had one relationship where we were equally matched, and it was awesome. Yeah we butted heads a lot, but it was always in a respectful way, and it was very passionate because of it. But that didn't work out cause of religious issues on his part... *ugh*


youre looking for someone who has been ruined by the long term stay in gaikoku. where is i-voted-for-dukakis when you actually need him.?
lol

[Cinnamon_Legend]

Haha, I just replied to your post on the other thread... yeah and I was worried about the dom/sub thing too. Although notice I tried to say "emotional." Lol.

Well, you have a point, but I *hate* being the controller. In my first relationship, I ended up using my control to basically use the guy, cause I didn't know any better. Now I do, so that doesn't happen anymore, but it still really sucks. I always end up having to make the decisions or nothing will get done at all, no matter how submissive, quiet, or supportive I try to be.

I had one relationship where we were equally matched, and it was awesome. Yeah we butted heads a lot, but it was always in a respectful way, and it was very passionate because of it. But that didn't work out cause of religious issues on his part... *ugh*


lol

this is exactly why I just broke off a 7 year relationship. I always end up dating sub guys. They'll worship the ground you walk on and you end up having to make all the decisions because they don't want to ever cause a fight or upset you. Nice at first but it gets old quick, this boy couldn't even decide what movie he wanted to see. He'd just give me the 'whatever you want to see sug!' reply. I stuck with him for a long time because he intended well and really was a nice guy... but yeah... I need more balls than that :P , I needed someone who'd challenge me every once in awhile, it shows they're being honest and can also lead to you doing something (fun) that you wouldn't normally have done.

[letomoon]

this is exactly why I just broke off a 7 year relationship. I always end up dating sub guys. They'll worship the ground you walk on and you end up having to make all the decisions because they don't want to ever cause a fight or upset you. Nice at first but it gets old quick, this boy couldn't even decide what movie he wanted to see. He'd just give me the 'whatever you want to see sug!' reply. I stuck with him for a long time because he intended well and really was a nice guy... but yeah... I need more balls than that :P , I needed someone who'd challenge me every once in awhile, it shows they're being honest and can also lead to you doing something (fun) that you wouldn't normally have done.

Exactly!! I'm hovering in the end/near end of a 3 year relationship for that reason (and because I moved out here). It's hard because he's the type of person that will be consistently devoted to me, always "safe." But the problem is that "safe" means "stagnant" in this case. He doesn't like meeting people or going out or anything, and at first I liked being with someone who could enjoy just staying in and spending quality time doing nothing in particular, but then that's all we ever did... I need safety, but I need excitement too!

[Cinnamon_Legend]

see! its all about the balance. I don't know why boring and clingy has to always come included with the nice guy package. The relationship got stagnant like yours, I completely lost my interest in going out, lost my libido, or any desire to do anything with him because I was running out of ideas lol. I had never felt so lonely in my life even though I was practically married.

[Marius_II]

see! its all about the balance. I don't know why boring and clingy has to always come included with the nice guy package. The relationship got stagnant like yours, I completely lost my interest in going out, lost my libido, or any desire to do anything with him because I was running out of ideas lol. I had never felt so lonely in my life even though I was practically married.

Said balance goes both ways.

Things getting boring - don't just count on the other one to spice things up. Take some initiatives yourself.

...and that initiative does not involve cheating. It involves the 2 of you, and say, a ride on one of these (http://www.excel-air.com/index_flash.html).

[letomoon]

holy crap... you are describing my relationship.

We should be friends.

[letomoon]

Said balance goes both ways.

Things getting boring - don't just count on the other one to spice things up. Take some initiatives yourself.

...and that initiative does not involve cheating. It involves the 2 of you, and say, a ride on one of these (http://www.excel-air.com/index_flash.html).

That's very true... both people have to contribute. Don't worry about me - I have lots of spice! (Spice meaning ideas... and spunk... but not that kind of spunk... although I wouldn't mind that either, lol.)

[thatguyintheback]

To the two(presumed)ladies in this thread

you ought to get yourselves one of these: http://i38.tinypic.com/2ef8b3n.jpg

He'll always have an, one, answer for you.You'll be sharing that little guy and he's sure to make the two of you happy.

He'll give you the ride of your life.None of this wishywashy ____.

[letomoon]

lol... and purple is my favorite color... how did you know? you should see what we're talking about in the other thread about multiple Japanese girlfriends :)

[thatguyintheback]

lol... and purple is my favorite color... how did you know?

it was all over your posts

you want someone to rough you up good.

now i am left wondering what kind of roughing up you want.

The "I-have-a-____-and-crave-for-a-kok-in-my-___"

or the "fvk-my-cvnt" roughing up.

I have no experience in the former.tia.

[letomoon]

I have no experience in the former.tia.
haha, SURE you don't...

[thatguyintheback]

So the former I take it.

[letomoon]

So the former I take it.
lol, actually no i don't have a ____.

however, i have bigger balls than most men... metaphorically speaking.

[thatguyintheback]

i have bigger balls than most men

Aye you might want to seek some help.


Metaphorically speaking of course.

[letomoon]

Aye you might want to seek some help.


Metaphorically speaking of course.

lmao... it's not my fault guys can be wussies...

[thatguyintheback]

lmao... it's not my fault guys can be wussies...

Question

Are you built like a marine/300lb tractor.

[thatguyintheback]

If yes to any of the two I think I've found the culprit.

[letomoon]

If yes to any of the two I think I've found the culprit.
haha, nope. short, normal weight.

[thatguyintheback]

haha, nope. short, normal weight.


well maybe you need an ultra gaijin to satisfy your needs????

i hear theres a gp meetup in a couple of weeks, it should be of interest to you since jboys just aren't cutting it.

[letomoon]

well maybe you need an ultra gaijin to satisfy your needs????

i hear theres a gp meetup in a couple of weeks, it should be of interest to you since jboys just aren't cutting it.
ultra gaijin? not sure I've ever met one of these...

prob in Tokyo right? Won't be there for another month or so...

[thatguyintheback]

ultra gaijin? not sure I've ever met one of these...

prob in Tokyo right? Won't be there for another month or so...

Forget about purple boy up there,


http://i38.tinypic.com/sbonix.jpg
^should do the job.

[thatguyintheback]

ultra gaijin? not sure I've ever met one of these...

prob in Tokyo right? Won't be there for another month or so...

and before you ask, sorry i only date jgals.

[letomoon]

and before you ask, sorry i only date jgals.

that's okay, I wasn't going to ask... lol

[thatguyintheback]

Now lets be honest here...if i hadn't made that post I would have gotten a pm or two from you..

[letomoon]

Now lets be honest here...if i hadn't made that post I would have gotten a pm or two from you..
sorry to disappoint... but what's with this only jgirls, mr. what-about-us-gaijin? haha

[inuprincess]

are you scared of a man with a backbone?

Some Gaijin men have too much backbone, when they cheat on you, boss you around like you're a servent, manipulate you and take advantage of your niave to get what they want then dump you, and even curse/beat on you during an argument. Some not all. I've seen examples of these worse case scenerios, which is why I'm pretty apprehensive of Gaijin men, both black and white.

Alot are really big and intimidating too. Nothing's wrong with that, but it makes me feel like I'm scared of them. I'm a really small girl, only 95lbs.

[thatguyintheback]

Some Gaijin men have too much backbone, when they cheat on you, boss you around like you're a servent, manipulate you and take advantage of your niave to get what they want then dump you, and even curse/beat on you during an argument. Some not all. I've seen examples of these worse case scenerios, which is why I'm pretty apprehensive of Gaijin men, both black and white.

Alot are really big and intimidating too. Nothing's wrong with that, but it makes me feel like I'm scared of them. I'm a really small girl, only 95lbs.

Those are called wife beaters, I'd like to believe they are in the minority.


sorry to disappoint... but what's with this only jgirls, mr. what-about-us-gaijin? haha
Giving up over that little comment??? maybe I do only date jgals, but that doesn't mean i wouldnt pound the fvk out of a cute gaijin-woman every once in a while.