View Full Version : shy j-guy
I met a nice guy through a friend of a friend a couple of months ago. He is Japanese, and although neither of us are particularly strong in the other's language, we get along well and have similar interests etc. Last month, he even told my friend that he thinks I am attractive but is a bit shy to talk to me because of language issues... Anyway, we have met about 5-8 times, always with other people, and communicate mostly through e-mail. (We communicate in writing and in person in a mix of Japanese and English.)
Here's the thing - if I was back at home and thought the guy was just shy, I would have made a move on him by now. But with this guy, even though I think he likes me, I hesitate to make a move because I don't know how to read his signals.
How can I find out if he is romantically interested in me?
And how can I let him know that I am interested in him romantically without scaring him?
2003-10-14, 08:56 AM
POKE HIM GENTLY WITH A LONG STICK BUT MAKE SURE IT'S A BLUNT STICK.
EDITED TO SAY "POKE HIM GENTLY WITH A LONG BLUNT STICK".
If he cawwws, he loves you. If he doesn't... it was never meant to be.
Post Edited (10-14-03 09:14)
kent, how long and how blunt? might you be suggesting that i poke him with an object known as a "dildo"? don't you reckon that the "take charge" approach might just be a bit too, ummm, forward, to this breed known as the shy j-guy?
in any case, i appreciate your bluntness (no pun intended)... upon re-reading my post in a slightly more lucid state, i see that my questions were rather adolescent. shall cease and desist henceforth.
2003-10-14, 02:26 PM
Don't worry. I think you have the same problem every gaijin girl has in Japan. I know its hard with Japanese, because there is a cultural difference, but I think Love is the same in all cultures, and so if you want a relationship with this guy, just tell him! If it scares him and he runs away, maybe its not meant to be and hes not good for you anyway. Japanese men can be difficult....oh wait, thats all men.....
2003-10-14, 09:04 PM
I too could never tell if the glances in my direction were a sign of interest or simple lets-stare-at-the-gaijin curiosity. I also think that many Japanese people are good at pretending to be shy, when really they just don't want to embarass themselves so they don't say or do anything. And then of course, there's trying to tell if he is really interested in you, or just wants to have sex with a foreign girl to see what it's like...or just that he's a guy and will have sex if the opportunity arises!
If anyone can shed any light on this, I'd be happy to take some notes.
miyagi-san, where are you?
2003-10-15, 03:26 PM
One word :
2003-10-18, 02:30 PM
My solution to this problem is to take the guy out, get a couple of tequila shots in him, then grab his ___. If he squeals, then he doesn't like you. If he grabs yours back, he's a keeper! Believe me, this ALWAYS works!
(what, she's kidding, right? right? NO?? who IS this girl??)
jguylover, thanks for the tip on how to be charmingly subtle, but someone else done beat ya to the punch... substitute the grabbing with the poking and the squealing with the cawing and whattaya got? a classic KB response minus the humour! so now who's kidding who? btw, how many keepers ya got going there?
2003-10-19, 11:59 PM
Just stay close meeting as often as possible.
He will make his own move... without you having to embarass him.
jloverguy is a playgirl: do not do as she says/does,,, but the alchohol is probably a good idea tho
2003-10-20, 03:48 PM
To add, I`d kinda agree on the alcohol bit too.
People in general gets a lot more talkative once they have some ethanol in them :)
The Japanese especially (in contrast). I mean, some people can`t get any more talkative when tipsy compared to when they are sober.
(Waiting for jloverguy`s invite to go drinking...)
2003-10-20, 11:01 PM
you betcha alcohol works!
by the way, define "playgirl" - you say that as if it's a BAD thing! (^^)
With my technique, at least I weed out the boys from the men.
If you wanna hear a really funny story, the way I met my current guy was by licking his nipples when he was dancing with his shirt off. (^^) He's one of the coolest & cutest guys I've ever dated!
2003-10-21, 12:15 PM
More women need to think and act like jguylover!!
2003-10-21, 03:14 PM
Dancing with his shirt off?
Geez, musta have pretty good bod.. (and definitely not shy!)
i vote for alchool too ^_^
yellow will turn to red and he will be less shy...
It's a way...
2003-10-22, 05:02 PM
Calling an Asian "yellow" ain`t too nice ^^;
(I can`t think of what else yellow might mean in this context...)
2003-10-24, 08:14 PM
He has a GREAT body.....slender, but muscle from head to toe. Definately not shy, he grabbed me the second I walked in the club, and he followed me around all night after i licked his nipple. Funny thing, i found out later he has a nipple fetish! Ha-ha! I did the exact right thing to get and keep his interest! LOL! Girls, that's where having GUTS will lead you.
to mahou :
i call 'em yellow refering to the color,yes.
hehe i'm sorry if it looked mean, ^_^;
I going out with an asian now, i call him my yellow baby :)
It's more to show "affection" than racist, hehhee.
I luv asians so i ain't racist at all ^_^
(just wanted to make that clear :)
Have a great day!
2003-10-25, 06:15 PM
You have a boyfriend? I had such high hopes for us too. You just broke my heart!
2003-10-25, 08:12 PM
I want a world where girls dance without their tops and if you lick their nipples they follow you around all night (buying you drinks?) until you take them home.
And I want a toilet made of gold.
PS - I want the All Blacks to FOAD!!!
2003-10-27, 04:27 PM
*looks at mirror*
*crumples notes and throws it away*
Well, at least the post is better than the "this is why etc etc etc" kinda posts.
2003-10-29, 11:18 AM
Jerry Hall (Mick Jagger's lover/wife/etc.) once said something along the lines of:
"If you want to keep a Man, drop whatever you are doing and give him a Blow Job."
On behalf of men the world over, that is exactly what we want. I agree with Ms. Hall 100%. Ladies, take note!! ;)
2003-10-29, 01:47 PM
Well Dr. Drew, I'm pretty sure Jerry Hall is NOT the only woman in the world who knows about blow jobs. Lots of us know how, and yes, we have sometimes noticed that men seem to like it.
By the way, Jerry's wisdom didn't seem to help her much, did it?
2003-10-29, 03:05 PM
Who`s Jerry Hall?
Anyway, unless she managed to keep Mr Mick Jagger on a short leash, her advice ain`t gonna worth nuts :)
2003-10-29, 03:32 PM
Well, it worked for old Mick, anyway...Lol!!
Don't take me so seriously...just trying to spice things up a bit...
Actually, Jerry and Mick are divorced now, so as for her advice on keeping a man's attention...
Japanese guys can be very frustrating, x. Many women think go for the "aggressive approach" with them, but in my experience, that scares many of them off. (I've never licked anyone's nipples before though.) Your approach might depend on how much experience the guy has with foreigners. I don't think some of us gaijin realize how shocking and different it is for some Japanese to deal with foreigners. I mean, how many westerners walk around their countries saying, "I want to make friends with foreigners"? But for many people here, that's like a dream. If you are the first foreigner, or the first foreign woman he's ever talked to, go slow. Since he told your friend he found you attractive, maybe tell the friend of your interest and it will get back to him. The Japanese like doing things through an intermediary sometimes, it seems. This guy sounds like he has very little experience with non-Japanese, so the slow approach is best. Maybe suggest doing something with your mutual friend, and then getting the friend to "disappear" at an inconspicuous time.
2003-10-30, 12:03 AM
FOAD? What is FOAD?
Feel Old And Discombobulated?
Fold Obstreperously At (the) Death?
Forthwith Oliver Anton Deliver (backwards)?
Fire On All Dylinders?
Fall Over And Die?
F__k Off And Die?
2003-10-30, 01:40 AM
Got it in five KB
2003-10-30, 06:48 AM
Oops :D Make that six