View Full Version : Advice in making friends here
Is it very hard for a foreigner to make friends with Japanese if he can't speak much Japanese and lives in a suburb? He is my boyfriend and has like no close friends here.He's really nice, modest, sort of shy but very kind,and I think he is definitely the kind of people the Japanese likes.
I really want him to have some good friends here so he won't feel as lonely. I feel so sorry for him....
Any good advice??
Thanks.
takai
2004-03-25, 10:44 PM
ILS wrote in another post:
"well...I'm female but I DO care about _____ size... I am just trying to hook up a cute guy who has a really big one(^.-) The bigger,the better MORE THAN ANYTHING!! At least that's how I think!!"
well..., seems to me that you have found in a few days a boyfriend with a big ch0n ch0n,,,,,congratulations !!!....but in life, problems never seem to have an end, neeee, now you want ALSO that this gaijin has many close friends.......
これからも がんばって ください。
高
sillygaijin
2004-03-26, 01:42 AM
Hmmm, I wish this post hadn't been co-opted. I'm really curious if anyone has good advice for ILS. This is also a concern for my husband and I who are moving to a Japanese suburb in August. I'll be working, but he won't have any way to meet people (for a while anyway). He's also fairly shy and has difficulty meeting new people.
If anyone has honest feedback on how they've made friends in Japan while still learning Japanese and only being able to discuss things like weather and the location of bathrooms, I'd also love to hear it.
imTony
2004-03-26, 07:12 AM
Is ILS Japanese?
Yoruko
2004-03-26, 07:22 AM
Hi there,
This is the first time I have replied on this forum, so if it appears a little unformatted forgive me. I have found that most Japanese tend to appear shy to westerners because they normally have a difficult time talking to someone for the first time. I think it is just a difference in what is considered socially acceptable. Normally it is not polite to talk to strangers, so meeting new people can be hard even for Japanese. The exceptions to this rule are classes and social group activities. That is why so many Japanese study English classes, because it is acceptable to talk to foreigners. My recomendation would be for him to find something that he likes to do, such as a sport or a hobby, that might not require a lot of language skill to take part in. In most areas larger areas there are free Japanese lessons given by the community. I know in Osaka there are several places.
Yoruko
the dude
2004-03-26, 03:48 PM
Takai,
Is your real name Kasumi?
Mahou
2004-03-26, 04:38 PM
I will give an advice that I do not have the luxury to follow.
Go join a hobby/activity/volunteer club.
Your town hall should have a listing of such clubs.
Once you are in, you are no longer a "stranger", and at least have an excuse to talk to other people.
>Is ILS Japanese?
Yep I am! Is anything wrong with me being Japanese??
Post Edited (04-01-04 23:29)
imTony
2004-04-03, 09:38 AM
No - nothing is wrong with you being japanese, of course. I just thought that since you were Japanese, you would know good ways for foreigners to meet Japanese people.
Anyway, I agree with the above suggestions. Tell him to join some club or something.
Dr.Drew
2004-04-07, 09:57 AM
As long as he is getting laid, that's half the battle...lol
What more does a man really need??
japchap
2004-04-07, 12:34 PM
Nice detective work, Takai... Well, ILS will get what's coming to her...
in many different ways... heh heh heh...
... or is ILS a HE?
Geez some of the gaijin guys here are so mean. I'm a high school girl and amd really disappotinted at how unhelpful you guys are to a young kid like me. Don't you feel ashamed of yourself saying all this to a kid? I thought a lot of gaijin people here are very kind and helpful but I guess not.
Mahou
2004-04-08, 02:43 PM
ILS,
You are a high school girl with a gaijin boyfriend?
Then I hope you are not too serious about the relationship, cause I don`t think it`s gonna last very long.
Why? Cause you`re still in High School.
Bluedog
2004-04-08, 04:50 PM
ILS, are you really, I mean really a high school girl? Because you have pretty good english, and most high school kids I've met don't refer to themselves as "kid", or use shortened blasphemisms like 'Geez'
If you are, how did you get such good eigo? And if you really are, well, you're a bit of a sheep among the wolves on this forum. And if you're actually a 43 year-old FBI agent, then I'd like to meet up. Shall we say 5pm, nampa-bashi in Osaka?
" just thought that since you were Japanese, you would know good ways for foreigners to meet Japanese people"
Indeed. Surely you could introduce him to a few.
Well...How long is "long" ?? Would a year still seem short to you to be going out with somebody? I don't know your standard.....(-.-;) Why wouldn't it last long if I am in high school?
Well...thanks.I bet lots of students in big cities like Tokyo can speak fluent English though.
"Indeed. Surely you could introduce him to a few."
Yeah but the thing is ....I don't really know anybody who would be interested in hanging out with gaijin. My friends are students of course, and are all busy studying for "the entrance exams."
Bluedog
2004-04-08, 08:12 PM
"I bet lots of students in big cities like Tokyo can speak fluent English though"
I bet they can't. Which is why I'm having a little trouble believing you. But then again, I'm not an english teacher and don't have as much experience as others on this board. If you really are though, then hell yeah, take it as a compliment. I notice you didn't comment on the FBI thing <<insert wildly gesticulating smiley here>>
Yeah I'm not lying or anything. (^_^)
I didn't quite get what you meant by "a 43 year-old FBI agent." I'm not going all the way to Osaka though....
Bluedog
2004-04-08, 09:53 PM
I meant people who hang out on forums pretending to be young girls to chat with dirty old men and entice them into a meeting where they promptly get arrested. It's a standing joke on web forums that anyone claiming to be a young girl online is either a dirty old man or an undercover policeman. So don't sweat it, I'm not really asking you to come to Osaka. Not unless you really are "Special Agent Chad" in which case, let's go for beers. I've never met a fed before.
Where's kurogane? He must have a comment on all this...
Kent Brockman
2004-04-09, 08:12 AM
he is in the holding cel prayint 2 a god nhe doesnt beleiuve in.
the dude
2004-04-09, 08:38 AM
Kurogane, is in a cell but not a federal penitentiary though. He's in the looney bin. I know cause I was there with him loading up on prozak!
richard
2004-04-09, 10:26 AM
I cannot resist......
From the above posts.....
"Is ILS Japanese?
Yep I am! Is anything wrong with me being Japanese??"
"Geez some of the gaijin guys here are so mean. I'm a high school girl and amd really disappotinted at how unhelpful you guys are to a young kid like me. Don't you feel ashamed of yourself saying all this to a kid? I thought a lot of gaijin people here are very kind and helpful but I guess not."
"Yep" - "Geez" - "kid" - all responses by ILS
Is she really a Japanese high school GIRL????? Do anybody out there know of a GIRL using "yep?" Does anybody out there know of a JAPANESE HIGH SCHOOLER using these phrases? Unless ILS went to school in the States or Canada or England, she (he??) might use these phrases.
Uh - huh...Japanese high school girl.
Right....and I was born yesterday.
R.
paulh
2004-04-09, 01:13 PM
I have also met very few Japanese high school girls who will intentionally mix Japanese and English when talking about 'gaijin' guys as though gaijin is an English word. It seems to be only foreign males who call themselves gaijins when posting in English on these boards
Also how many Japanese high school girls know who or what the FBI is- seems like a fairly high brow or technical word that is not commonly taught in high school textbooks? Maybe LIS wants to tell us what the Japanese word for FBI is?
richard
2004-04-09, 01:30 PM
Paulh
I just had an interesting thought.....
Maybe ILS is "downtown" sneaking back or trying to sneak back into this here forum. You know "onnagata" ...........
Just a thought for a Friday afternoon.
R.
trip_hop
2004-04-09, 01:58 PM
richard
<our beloved downtown as onnagata?
Not harigata?
A thought for Friday evening>
;-)
th
japchap
2004-04-09, 02:19 PM
I find it hard to believe that the girl (?) who posted something along the lines that "a man's _____ size is everything" on a different forum actually wants to be taken seriously.
>"well...I'm female but I DO care about _____ size...
>I am just trying to hook up a cute guy who has a really
>big one(^.-) The bigger,the better MORE THAN ANYTHING!!
>At least that's how I think!!"
If your boyfriend wants more friends, he can take care of himself, right?
Why do you have to be looking after him?
Don't patronize us. Anyway, _____ size will solve all of your problems, eh?
Whoever you are... I think your Japanese high-school girl line is a bit
flimsy myself... I personally think you're a MAN.
- JC
Post Edited (04-09-04 14:24)
richard
2004-04-09, 02:34 PM
Right on th!
chuckle - chuckle!
R.
>Also how many Japanese high school girls know who or what the FBI is- seems like a fairly high brow or technical word that is not commonly taught in high school textbooks? Maybe LIS wants to tell us what the Japanese word for FBI is?
Well...That's why I asked him what he meant. I didn't know what he was trying to say.
>Is she really a Japanese high school GIRL????? Do anybody out there know of a GIRL using "yep?" Does anybody out there know of a JAPANESE HIGH SCHOOLER using these phrases? Unless ILS went to school in the States or Canada or England, she (he??) might use these phrases.
Yes, I did stay in a English speaking country for a while. You know there are A BUNCH of young kids including those exchange students going abroad for a little while ,don't you?
>Maybe ILS is "downtown" sneaking back or trying to sneak back into this here forum. You know "onnagata" ...........
What do you mean?
the dude
2004-04-12, 08:50 AM
ILS, whether you're who you say you are or not, you have every right to post so don't worry about the ridicule. If you are what/who you say you are, I personally find it unusual that your English is as good as it is. None of that matters though. Post whenever and whatever you want to, stay in school/study hard, and most importantly, try not to read Kurogane's or my posts for there is a possibility they may corrupt you.
Thanks. (^.^)
>and most importantly, try not to read Kurogane's or my posts for there is a possibility they may corrupt you.
Haha Yeah I will try to just concentrate on my school work instead. Thanks
japchap
2004-04-20, 09:28 AM
And I'm sure, ILS, that you will continue to concentrate
hard on _____ size as well.
>"well...I'm female but I DO care about _____ size...
>I am just trying to hook up a cute guy who has a really
>big one(^.-) The bigger,the better MORE THAN ANYTHING!!
>At least that's how I think!!"
Good luck on _____ size, and on your studies!
- JC
Code Rot
2004-05-01, 12:00 AM
For those trying to solve the mystery of whether ILS is really a Japanese schoolgirl or overweight male American computer geek, why not dedicating your obvious mental skills to more pressing tasks. For example, did George Bush 2 know that September 11 was going to happen before it happened (that explains the peculiar facial expressions he exhibited when informed of the World Trade Center strikes in that elementary school -- it is like he is thinking "I have just screwed up big time and how do I get myself out of this?") Did the US lie to its own people to justify its invasion of Iraq? These are the big questions of our times. But everyone is obsessed with trivia these days, and nobody cares about politics. And while we are not looking, the fascists step in to take power.
Post Edited (05-01-04 00:05)