View Full Version : S-E-X
2004-05-28, 05:55 PM
I have noticed that these forums have some underlying themes that a few of you (not all by any means, only a few) tend to bring up on a semi-regular basis. I was going to tease you one by one but then I realised that this would take too long and would be inefficient so I have decided to tease you en masse:
Firstly, can anyone tell me if Japanese guys are indeed real hotties? I have heard they are really cute and so hot in fact that if you push a J-guy over and are quick about it you can barbecue dinner for four on his back before he gets up? Is this true?
And tell me, when I come to the Land of the Rising Libido what are my chances of getting laid within say 15 minutes of getting off the plane (given that you know nothing about my preferences or physical features and that anything you might think you know may in fact be inaccurate)?
Are my chances:
(a) very good (those Japanese flight attendants are keen to demonstrate the positions on the inflight safety card!)
(b) good (they are very friendly but they do not have much time between flights)
(c) neither good nor bad (fence sitter!)
(d) bad (Oh no! What will I do when I get bored?! I will be forced to entertain myself by posting comments on gaijinpot!)
(e) very bad (I've decided I'm not coming to Japan).
At this point I suppose I should mention that I am a 6' blonde with blue eyes and pneumatic breasts (isn't every girl on the internet?). So....do you think J-guys will like me? Will they stare at my bosom while they are talking to me (I really like it when guys appear to be addressing their comments to my breasts.......of course my breasts tend not to be very talkative but they do occasionally make one or two good points).....
And how about strip bars.....what are the strip clubs in Japan like? When I consider moving to a new country the first thing I absolutely must do is find out all about any strip clubs there. Getting information about unimportant things like accomodation is a distant second priority in my book (which appears to be a sticky copy of Playboy). Perhaps Gaijinpot admin can take note and delete the useless 'accommodation' category in this forum and replace it with one called 'Strip clubs, brothels and sex shops'. Oh, and please do not criticise my lifestyle. Or my morals. It is my choice.
Now I have heard that in Roppongi there is a strip club where the girls(guys?) swim around in a fish tank. Can someone confirm this please. How do patrons get the person of their choice out of the tank? Do they fish for them and will I be able to catch one given that I do not have a fishing rod (but I do have a nice pair of floaties)?
And now that I am actually in Japan (err, this is creative writing) I must be responsible and mention condoms. Japanese condoms are just sooo itsy bitsy teensy weensy....in my home country (Austria, see below) I used to use a condom as a bathing cap when I went swimming but in Japan, well, I can't even get one properly on my head (and when I try wearing one people at the pool give me strange looks - I'm sure they are startled that my bathing cap is so ill-fitting)! Of course although my head is obviously larger than a Japanese head I don't mean to immodestly imply (in a quiet but smug way) that my other bodily proportions are overly large but let me just say that my own personal 'shock and awe' campaign is going quite nicely thank you very much....
Oh yes and I would like to whisper to you about the delicate subject of oral sex so lean closer....closer....NOT THAT CLOSE! I am really surprised that on these forums a few of you guys freely admit that you like receiving oral sex....I was under the impression that men did not like receiving oral sex and that often when a woman suggests it the male response is likely to be a vehement 'No way! Just give me a handshake and a peck on the forehead and that will be fine thanks! And one or two of you have implied that your girlfriends better be good at (giving) oral sex. However you do not state your own skills in this area and whether you are willing or able to lick so much as a postage stamp. Let's talk about giving....(so that the world will be a better place for you and for me and for the entire human race, tra la la)....let's talk about other people's feelings... so now you can say with winning sincerity to your girlfriend 'Enough about me, let's talk about you, tell me about your feelings...........How do you feel about giving me oral sex (right now)?'
Now I suspect these bland and innocuous (and very brief) comments may provoke certain types of responses....
It is possible that one or two of you sooner or later might respond to my forthright (pretty damn cheeky I must admit) comments by telling me that I need a 'good rogering'. I would like to pre-empt that by mentioning in passing that I would indeed like a good one and anyone who suggests it can please present themselves front and centre for my inspection (if there is more than one of you who feel this way please form an orderly queue, no pushing or shoving). Of course since it is a 'rogering' then your first name must be Roger. If your name is not Roger it must be either ____ or Derek(derrick). Persons by any other given name must put forward cogent arguments before they will be allowed to stay in the queue. Persons who appear to be lying must produce photo ID (the only ID I will accept is an international licence for a motor scooter). Anybody who is found to be lying about their first name will be glared at, spanked and sent home (spankings by request only, time permitting). ......And do not complain about how difficult it can be to get a good spanking! Just imagine what chance someone in your situation in your home country would have if they were looking for a good spanking and they had minimal language skills and hardly any experience. That's right, they'd have very little chance of success, wouldn't they? Anyway, I warn you not to lie about your first name. If you do lie your poor behaviour will reflect badly on the others here who are legitimately called Roger. Oh, and by the way, anybody with a BA will be paid 250,000 yen and anybody with an MA will be paid 251,000 yen for their time (if the queue is long the wait may be about one month).
Now I would be obliged if any responses to my post could please include snide comments about my country and nationality (probably there will be no responses [sigh]). You can see that my domain name ends with 'au' and therefore you can deduce that I am of course Austrian. The best way to convince me that my comments are invalid is to criticise my country. I will start the ball rolling......'Those Austrian Alps, well they are just hills on steroids with pretensions (bah humbug) and as for that old movie the 'Sound of Music' (which was filmed in Salzburg)....geez, there is NO WAY that eldest girl (I think she was called Leisel) was '16 going on 17'...she looked like 25 at least to me.........' Err, I'm sure you get the drift.
And finally, why are there so few men posting comments on Gaijinpot? And why is it that the rare man who does post a comment here tends to choose a non gender-specific name and tends not to mention straight away that he is indeed a man? Why, oh why, is it so? I find this completely unfathomable.
Now, play ball!.....
PS: No time wasters please!
2004-05-28, 06:27 PM
oh dear: .at=austria, .au=australia.
Now we know that you are slightly lost, possibly dyslexic and extremely poor at geography, and use australia internet solutions as your provider; let's see if ____, roger, willy, and/ or johnson start the ball(s) rolling....or in your case ....trolling!
2004-05-30, 12:59 PM
Well, interesting post, but I'm baffled: You comment on having guys do you, and you write the quote below:
"Firstly, can anyone tell me if Japanese guys are indeed real hotties? I have heard they are really cute and so hot in fact that if you push a J-guy over and are quick about it you can barbecue dinner for four on his back before he gets up? Is this true?"
Are you saying that you're a bisexual woman or a bisexual man?
By the way, you're right about the size of Japanese men. You can really tell it by the size of their condoms.
Ich kann nicht glauben dass Sei Oesterricher(in) sind. Ihres English is ohne faehler (nicht wie mein Deutsch). Wo haben Sie English gelehrnt?
Steamboat (fyi: I am male)
2004-05-30, 05:09 PM
Just off the cuff or a well thought out exhortation? Either way, it's funny. Well done.
2004-05-31, 12:54 PM
Nicht Schiessen!! Nicht Schiessen!! Die Krieg ist alles vertig.
Ich bin eines grossen Mann, baby. Und ich habe ein Grossen U-Boot to prove it. Just ask jguylover. She'll back me up.
Aber wo ist die bahnhof?
Accch, mein kugelschrieber ist kaputt.
2004-06-01, 09:54 AM
I love it.
Rife with satire!
2004-06-01, 10:32 AM
Meine leibe Suesschen,
I am sure that you hardly need me to tell you how right you are about oral sex. As you know receiving oral sex is very painful for a man. They only allow you 183cm. tall blue-eyed blondes anywhere near their peckers for your own sakes. As I am sure you already know sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. If he offers to allow him to perform it on him best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
2004-06-01, 04:56 PM
Well, I've been away for a couple of days and have been busy congratulating myself on my own audacity and presenting myself with an award, a bouquet of flowers and a plastic tiara but now that I'm back......
Yec, I ab a little bid byslexic and I also suffer from DiiSSTo0rTed ViSi0n which means that sometimes I unfortunately have to get my face very close to certain objects (including body parts) before I can see them clearly and ascertain what they actually are.....this little problem of mine has in the past led to some misunderstandings....
Err, initially when I read your comments I thought English was your second language and that you were a little bleating lamb who had lost his way and strayed onto this thread by mistake.....and so I was going to go easy on you and shepherd you gently away from the door marked 'Abattoir' and towards the door marked 'Sunny meadow frolicking grounds'.....but then I checked your previous posts and boy-oh-boy...............
I am not sure but perhaps you are convalescing from surgery (a difficult but successful operation during which they entirely removed your sense of humor)? If so, I feel it would be unsporting of me to taunt an invalid. However I can see that you are a regular Mr Holmes (Sherlock not John). Despite my numerous references to my own (pneumatic) breasts you appear to be unclear whether I am in fact a woman. Ahem, I can only suppose that dating must be difficult for you if you are unsure on these two points.
And thank you for adding your voice to the chorus of those singing that popular song:
'Japanese condoms are so small
They do not fit me at all
They often get caught on one ball
And ricochet off and hit the wall'.
Oh and by the way - you misspelt 'gelernt' (learn) and also 'fehler' (mistake).
Person & imTony,
I do try! Thank you for your appreciation.
Good effort in that you are the first to actually proposition me (as I suggested in my original post) - although I note that you have (disappointingly) not claimed to be called Roger. Also you have not pleaded for a spanking (hint!). I am a little confused by your mixture of German and English but I assume that you did not wish to tell me about your gross (disgusting) Ugg Boot (a sheepskin boot) but rather about your large submarine? Accordingly I shall respond with 'Torpedo me baby!' and a girlish giggle.
Thank you for enlightening me about the real reason why men often refuse to receive oral sex. That had been puzzling me for a long time and keeping me up at night. Indeed you are right in that the few who do suffer through it deserve a lot of appreciation (perhaps the saying 'no pain, no gain' applies here?). However, I am very interested to know how YOU know that sperm is "great tasting"?
Post Edited (06-02-04 14:43)
2004-06-02, 01:25 AM
Sugargirl: If ever again you need enlightening, please feel free ...
kuro: you've pulled!
2004-06-02, 03:00 PM
Correction: Kurogane has NOT 'pulled'! Repeat: he has NOT pulled! (You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?) He is merely closer to 'pulling' than you are. He simply has his 'foot in the door' so to speak and further descriptions from him about his manly capabilities/features/endeavours will (probably) be looked upon favourably.
2004-06-02, 04:24 PM
you don't dig 185 cm, 80kg (firm body) brown hair blue eyed exceptionally good lookin dudes from california that are kinda full of themselves & have western european smokin hot wives do ya?
Just a quick question your taste regarding group action!
2004-06-03, 02:37 PM
If you ever write a book, I`ll try to be among the first one to buy it ^^.
(Sorry, I am not Japanese though)
2004-06-03, 03:15 PM
I am not surprised you that you used a condom for a swimming cap ,this is the first time I have heard of being a dickhead having a practical use.
2004-06-03, 04:44 PM
> I am not surprised you that you used a condom for a swimming
> cap ,this is the first time I have heard of being a dickhead
> having a practical use.
I am not surprised that you used a condom for a swimming cap--Dickhead!
2004-06-03, 06:23 PM
Well, yes, I might be interested in meeting the (attractive) couple you are describing but I don't know anyone like that.....do you?
If I ever write a book it will probably be a children's (colouring) book....
I have read your post carefully looking for lewd and/or satanic messages in it and there appear to be none (even when it is read backwards whilst sacrificing a rubber chicken to the music of Black Sabbath). It appears that you are making a joke (but I am not the best judge of this because I have no sense of humor/irony/smell). It appears that you are perhaps calling me a dickhead merely because I wore a condom as a bathing cap? I must mention here that it was a studded strawberry-flavoured one and it said on the packet 'for her pleasure' so I assumed that such a statement meant it was fashionable and very comfortable to wear. If you are calling me a dickhead I am delighted because no-one has ever called me this before (surprisingly girls tend not to be called dickheads on a regular basis). Being called a dickhead by someone with the moniker 'thickmick' is by far and away the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me (oh, apart from that game of 'Where is the Eiffel Tower' I played with those two French guys last week.....[there's your answer dude!]).
I note that you started a thread recently merely for the purpose of criticising the dude's posts and labelling them uninteresting and not funny. Hmmm? If the swimming cap fits...? I feel you are making waves just for the sake of it. I personally think you are being a little unkind as sometimes the dude is quite entertaining. That impromptu 'flashdance' number that he did at the (non-existent) Gaijinpot Christmas party was quite something. His gyrations really were amazing to behold and as for the hip thrusts....well I'm sure I don't need to tell you that he radiated so much testosterone that two women swooned and one became pregnant (with triplets, all boys) just through looking. What a pity that in the last climactic seconds as he leapt high into the air he caught his nipple ring on the hotel chandelier. Fortunately after several seconds of squirming and swearing he fell free. Unfortunately he fell onto paulh and knocked the breath out of both of them. After a couple of minutes of lying there the dude was heard to say into paulh's armpit 'Are you from a country starting with U'? And paulh was heard to mumble something but only the words 'priest' and 'vow of celibacy' were discernible. Now, please do not mention this little story to the dude because no doubt he will deny it and say it never happened. Of course, I also claim it never happened. I have never met the dude (or paulh) and I deny all knowledge of Christmas parties in general and this one in particular. Any resemblance in this story to anyone who posts on Gaijinpot is purely coincidental.
2004-06-03, 06:47 PM
Fraulein wants us to discus giving... and licking? How keen of her.
Well, personally I've always liked licking postage stamps. I never use the wetty sponge or any other wetting tool. I always stick with the tip of the tongue and the lamina (commonly known as the top of the tongue). Sometimes I grasp the postage stamp on the edges and lick in a swirling motion, always starting with the outside and working in towards the center. Sometimes I move vertically, starting at the bottom and proceeding slowly to the top. Its essential that the vertical method is done in an upward, sweeping motion. I tend to dwell on the topmost area (of the stamp) a bit too much, but that seems to be okay. I'm always extremely careful to moisten the entire surface from edge to edge, never forgetting the corners. Being thorough is job number 1 when it comes to licking. The surgical, precise movements of my stamp-licking techniques require extremely sensitive neck control, which in turn, requires a healthy and muscular neck. For men, first I suggest you do bi-daily stretching exercises on your sternocleidomastoid (commonly known as the neck-flexor) as well as multiple sets of hyperextensions, flexions, reductions, and rotations. Always remember, high-reps/low weight for tone, and low-reps/high weight for power.
Sugar, in the interest of being fair, I'll let you in on a few "guy secrets." Let me make some comparisons that I think most Men on here can agree on under the topic of "Licking." 1.) Most men would rather lick a postage stamp than a strip of flypaper. And 2.) we'd prefer to lick a raw oyster over a raw tuna. Lastly, 3.) we certainly prefer a peeled peach to an unpeeled one.
2004-06-03, 07:22 PM
I am flattered I should get such a response from one who thinks so highly of themselves .
Heres a word you night have been called before BORING, and you do drone on ..
Having said that, some parts are interesting mein liebkin ...
die luft ist klar .
2004-06-03, 09:38 PM
If you're interested in meeting an attractive couple then the dude & his wife are what you're looking for, but trust me he's not "kinda into himself", he's the type to kiss the mirror every time he sees one!!!
2004-06-04, 12:40 AM
I think Sugar & Spice`s post are humorous and all of us are being put on. But that is cool a good sense of humour works wonders after a day at the slave mines/ Good on you S&s.
2004-06-04, 03:16 PM
Well there I was doing a little light fencing around the issues, some feinting, a little cut and thrust, the odd parry, a bit of fancy footwork, numerous innuendos.......but I felt that somehow there was a line of good taste and dare I say it decorum out there somewhere (although not everyone may agree with me on this).......
And then you came on the field and bounded across that line with gleeful abandon whilst blowing a fanfare on your bugle (indeed I note that this is your own trumpet), yelling yippee-tie-aye-ay and waving your(?) underwear aloft like a banner (I note that this underwear is not clean either). Once I would have said that bugle playing and yelling were mutually exclusive activities but with your skill set they are obviously not.
Ahem, I suspect that women everywhere will now be rushing to join their local Philatelic Society. I suspect that such a society will NOT ask you to write articles for their newsletter.
As for your 'guy secrets', it appears you are referring to grooming and personal hygiene issues (although I am not entirely sure about this). It always amuses me that men seem to think such issues apply to women only and not to themselves. If and when a woman tells you that (south of the Mason Dixon line) you are fragrant like 'rose potpourri with a hint of lily of the valley and honeysuckle' you may get back to me on this point.
Finally, I note that your post is 'FYI'. When I first saw this abbreviation used on Gaijinpot (written by Steamboat, the love tug) I thought it meant 'F'ing Young Idiot' but now I suspect that it means 'For Your Information'? I am glad you wrote 'FYI' otherwise I would have not known your post was for my attention. I shall consider myself informed.
I can only hope then that he doesn't have a mirror on the ceiling in his bedroom (and a stepladder). Would the mirror kisses you are talking about be just a quick peck on his own cheek or attempted tongue kisses? I do hate it when mirrors get all slobbery.
You are a person of good judgement. Is your real name Roger by any chance?
2004-06-04, 03:51 PM
Actually I didn't ask paulh anything other than a glass of red wine from his church collection. Anyway, I already have "U". She was one of them gold diggin, dishonest Eastern Europeans I'd rather keep as a distant memory rather than another tally on the chalk board.
Even though you're from Australia, there ain't no rule about doubling up on letters so feel free to c'mon over be-be!
sophie & mick,
what exactly did i do to you two to be stalked??? kissing the mirror? Sophie, how do you know how much I love myself? Are you one of the angry ones I kicked out before the morning trains started runnin or were ya not even fortunate enough to get invited over at all?
2004-06-04, 03:52 PM
So do you consider yourself a bugling connoisseur, Fraulein? Can you play? How about Eine Kleine Schlangmusik? I'd like to see your range. And your (lung) capacity. I'm interested in getting some experience conducting trios and quartets, you know. If you were to know of any other amateur "musicians" ... maybe we could meet up for a session?
IYGMD, that is.
2004-06-04, 03:57 PM
," I suspect that women everywhere will now be rushing to join their local Philatelic Society"
If they do ,it will only be in the hope of getting a good licking .
2004-06-04, 03:57 PM
," I suspect that women everywhere will now be rushing to join their local Philatelic Society"
If they do ,it will only be in the hope of getting a good licking .
2004-06-04, 04:06 PM
I am sure you know the meaning of the word stalked as this is your only female /male sex life ,I do nopt follow you from thread to thread .Sophie , might .as we only know too well jis problems ...
I say we all get together for a drink one day at s& s `s place for s& s&m
which of course is strudel scnapps and muffin diving.
2004-06-07, 07:58 PM
Well, well, well.....I donft knowc.was it something I said? It seems that some of you have been visited by the 'group sex ideas' fairy (I believe she carries a rudely shaped wand and a box of tissues). I note that the Dude and GQ posted replies within 1 minute of each other and I am starting to get a bit suspicious - are you two riding a tandem bicycle together or do you just have similar taste in videos?
Yes, well it might be interesting to meet you but then again it might not be. I don't feel like airing my preferences on a public forum but it is my understanding that when men refer to 'group action' and the like they often mean two women and their own good self.........or at least a situation where the ratio is stacked in their favour. Some women do not like to 'time share'. Other women (surprisingly!) do not like intimacy with people they barely know. Anyway, from a practical point of view, what are the extra women to do whilst the man/men in question are otherwise occupied? Give them foot massages/back rubs? Form a knitting circle? Macrame wall hangings?
And perhaps I should explain about my nationality - I am of course an Austrian but I am in Australia at the moment..cand happily both these countries start with eAf. I know that my IP code ends in 'au' but all that means is that I am typing my posts in Australia - it doesn't mean that I'm Australian for sure, does it? Consider the matter - you have told me you are Californian but your IP provider ends in 'jp' - should I therefore insist that you are Japanese, hmmm?
I can play any number of instruments - clarinet, flute and, my favourite, the triangle.... and I can play the piccolo but I prefer not to. FYI my vocal range (especially at close quarters) is impressive and I would say my lung capacity is quite good because I used to do synchronized swimming (lots of holding my breath underwater whilst doing the splits upside down and all that easy peasy type stuff). Of course these days I donft have as much time as I used to. Ifve had to give up my two favourite pastimes, rhythmic gymnastics AND horse riding, because I just got promoted at my job (so more responsibility and longer hours [sigh]) - my new title is Acting Head Quality Control Officer at a Confectionary Company (Lollypop and Boiled Sweets Division). I am only eActingf Head because Beryl, the one who normally supervises us all, is away on a sax tour of New Zealand with her jazz quartet. Of course Beryl is near retiring age but she is still very active. You say you want to 'conduct a quartet' so when she gets back with her elderly friends Bob, Vernon & Jeremiah I'll send them right over to your place, shall I?
I note that you posted the same comment twice - hit that 'post button' a bit prematurely, did you? A bit quick off the mark, weren't ya? Re your last post.....plain and simple......a big NO to everything you have suggested.
Post Edited (06-08-04 10:26)
2004-06-07, 09:29 PM
Sugar me up ,Weren`t ya , weren`t ya ...Sounds a bit American male to me, that refrain .
I think your lesbite come trannie personna has come to light ..
2004-06-08, 06:47 AM
sugar&spice - if you're not in Japan, then why are you posting here and what would you do with sexually delicious partners anyway? WRITE them until they climax???
thickmick - you're real name might be Mick but you obviously aren't thick and that's why you're always trying to knock other people. Go get another 3 inches surgicially increased, or counseling...
Last but not least the (famous) dude. No I never went to bed with you, but you are pretty well known around Kansai and you know just as well as I do, the ONLY reason you're that well known, is because you're the biggest show off amongst gaijin in Japan. You constantly have to be the center of attention, and you mistakingly think your physical appearance can make up for your obnoxious "look at me" behavior!
just to give you a hint as to who I am, we danced in Sam & Dave's in Umeda, then met up at Sally's in Sanomiya and you hinted at the idea of taking me back to your beach house. Remember now?
2004-06-08, 09:26 AM
Dear soaf , was the dude a good dancer ? are you a girl then or just gay ?
Is the dude , the guy on Sanma san ? Another 3 inch surgically increased ? Good idea but I am afraid there would be something afoot .
I will apologize for knocking people ,( bad genes ) inherited that trait from daddy he was nasty ..
But look at Jtinvestor surely he sets the standard ,that guy is meaner than Rummy >( not the card game)
2004-06-08, 12:23 PM
Die Invazion is nicht Calais, es ist Normandie. Aber mein Luger ist kaputt! Die Englander hast kommen. Verschlagen die Porsche und die Sauerkraut.
Dear Sheepy and Sugar,
You are both right. I have now pulled. Feeling somewhat lightheaded still, but I am sure that will pass.
Ummm, Sugrary, deer, why should I keep hitting on you if you are in Australia, and, as one of my perspicacious cohorts observed, very possibly penilely endowed?
Furthermore, before I get a Roger on for you, I need to know a bit more about the rates. You mentioned BA and MA rates. What would ya pay for a real Doctor?
2004-06-08, 02:29 PM
Only children`s colouring book?
Well... kinda a waste I guess... but I will get them anyway ^^
(do put in some nice captions!)
2004-06-09, 02:17 PM
This is all too fukin weird... Are you that blond Canadian that kept complaining about some guy who dumped you & went back home?
You're stalking me because we rejected you???
If I remember correctly, I picked up the bill so can't ya be happy w/ that or do you want an apology/explanation?
If you are her, I'll set the record straight:
My better half didn't want you over because you talk too much & I didn't want you over because your boobs are too small.
Am I forgiven?
2004-06-09, 02:45 PM
Although I am an excellent dancer, I ain't gonna give you a twirl (pun intended).
You ain't a guy are ya? Please tell me you're not, cause I already fantasized about you and that would stick in my mind forever, emotionally scar me, and ruin all future fantasies when I'm alone in bed.
& Stalker-chan does have a point. Who are you planning to meet in Japan when you're writing from all the way down under?
2004-06-09, 03:34 PM
Glad to hear you are an excellent dancer /keep up the good work .
looks like you put that comlaing ______ in her place .
2004-06-10, 06:48 PM
Just the other day you two were quarelling like two whores over the last dob of KY Jelly!
Whats with all the lovey dovey today?
This world is getting to weird for me.
My Pocky that are mine, are mine.
2004-06-10, 07:15 PM
Okay, well firstly I'd like to say that I am off to Japan very very soon and so THIS WILL BE MY LAST POST here. I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get set up in Japan and I'm not sure whether I'll continue to post on Gaijinpot or not when I'm there. So, 'Let's go out in a blaze of glory!' YeeHAH....(only joking, I'm harmless really, no really, shy, demure and harmless, that's me...)
And it's nice guys first....
Thank you for your kind comments - it's nice to hear from someone who is upbeat and encouraging.
Then everyone else....
[Edited bit: Thickmick,
I have just read your post of 11/6 and couldn't resist changing my comments to you....obviously my substantive replies are wasted upon you.....I shall try the subtle art of sledging....... Eat faeces and die foul-mouthed impotent brain-dead trash-boy! How was that? Not bad for a first go?]
This website is for people interested in (coming to) Japan and people about to come to Japan, as well as for people already in Japan, isn't it? If it isn't then why is there a category 'Coming to Japan'? Many people passing through Gaijinpot and applying for jobs here are not in Japan - I sent my Gaijinpot resume to one employer (that did not ask for applicants to be residing in Japan) and later they told me they had received 300 applications. I suspect that because they did not specify that applicants be residents they got many applications from outside Japan.
If I was actually seriously looking for 'sexually delicious' partners to get physical with why would I start with Gaijinpot? Why wouldn't I just go out to a club or somewhere where I can see what is on offer smorgasbord style?
I am not sure why you are implying that (DIY) sexual activity between persons in two different geographical locations (for eg on the net) is impossible. I don't go in for it myself but I am aware that it happens. Are you trying to get me to detail what I know about this sort of thing? If so, nice try sunshine.
Psst.....let me take you aside, sit you down and have a little quiet chat with you. You have implied that I might be a man and in doing so you agreed with Thickmick and called him 'perspicacious'? Is this temporary insanity? Are you sure you meant to do this? As a consequence of this horrid statement your credibility with me is now in tatters (no doubt you are devastated about this, I know I am).
When you stated that I was 'possibly penilely endowed' it made me worried so I had a quick rummage and I find to my relief that I am not. In fact I searched the flat (behind the couch cushions AND the cupboards under the kitchen sink) and there is no appendage of that nature here. Have you perhaps lost yours? Did it go out for a quick post-pull cigarette and not return? I will tell you if it turns up here. I'm not sure what I should be looking for but you described it earlier as a large submarine so I'll just look for one that's grey and full of sea.....submariners, shall I? If it comes when I call your name I'll know it's yours and that it's well trained (oooh, naughty).
Congratulations on 'having now pulled'. I would shake you by the hand if I could be sure that you had thoroughly washed it.
Regarding your query 'why should you keep hitting on me if I am in Australia'....I wasn't aware that I twisted your ....ummm.... arm and made you hit on me in the first place....? As I mentioned above I will be in Japan very soon. However you appear surprised that I am not in Japan now and close handy. Did you think that I was ensconced in an underground bunker across the road from your house, ready to hurry over at a moments notice and fling myself upon you (hmm...not such a bad idea but I am very busy right now). Sorry to disappoint. My original post makes it clear that I am not in Japan. It also emphasises that my IP ends in 'au' and not 'jp'. All my posts have been about stuff written on Gaijinpot rather than about Japan directly.
My original post, in the first paragraph, mentioned (twice) that I was going to 'tease'. This was what is known as 'A CLUE' that I was not going to be serious (and therefore any offers of sexual activity were probably not going to be serious). Missed this, did ya? Or perhaps you are just trying to tease me back?
In terms of rogering and claiming to be a Roger, the deadline for applications of this sort has now passed. However fortunately for me and for all of you the deadline for being a smart ___ is still open.
'What would I pay for a real Doctor'?
I assume you mean someone with a doctorate (eg PhD) rather than a medical doctor?
Smart ___ reply (a) 252,000 Yen.
Sarcastic comment (b) I haven't ever seen one offered at auction but I guess I would start the bidding at 10 Yen (if it was your good self, though, make it 5 Yen).
You may rest safe in the knowledge that I am not a guy. As for 'who am I planning to meet'? Well...if you are as easy to spot in Kansai as Sophie-chan is implying and you really do like dancing then I will probably run into you sooner or later....Oh, the possibilities.....
Bye for the last time everyone! Thanks for the memories (giggle).....
Post Edited (06-11-04 17:36)
2004-06-11, 01:33 AM
Dear sugar me up ,thankyou for the little meanie weanie tag it means so much .
your first post verbose as it was ,wandered from one insinuation to the other ,so it was a tad difficult after a certain amount of beers to deduce which one of 4 sexes .I apologize for getting it wrong.
Humour ( it would have been welcomed ) from women is very rare as they are too busy cooking and cleaning ,however Rita rudner and ruby wax manage to fit it in (the humour )
If I was to go muffin divng and at the last minute I saw a gob of smegma on one of your labia and i had to contemplate whether I would carry out the task in hand would this be classed as thinking outside the box ?
Well good luck inJapan and if you are a hairyann type goddess ,you should go to haufbraus in shinjuku(pay 2500 per hr,for waitress) 6 till 10 ...
BTW Liese in the film was 23 and she was shagging cristopher plummer(her dad) who was 37.
2004-06-16, 04:19 PM
As you guessed at the end there, Yes, dear, I was just schkrewing around. It was all very good fun.
Thanks for the memories.
If you want to go for a friendly beer in Kyoto, drop me a mail.