fwhatyouheard
2004-06-01, 04:03 PM
I have been dating this J-girl for a year now and have been in Japan for six months. I met her in Vacouver Canada and she was a really great person. I fell in love with her from the start and until she came back to Japan things could not get better. We talked about marriage and children and everything. Even money and how she was going to be the one who was going to look after it all cuse I suck with money. I openly and fully admit that. She rocks with money.
She also lived with me and did not have to pay for any rent bills or food, though she did on her own accord. We went on trips that we both equally paid for. Some things she did pay for like movies and other outings, restaurant ect. But I did my share too.
So the story goes that she wanted me hurry up and come to Japan three months sooner that I was finally able to. She told me that she was going to pay my rent for me and bills until I found a job. One day on the phone she asks me when I will pay her back for the money that she still has not spent on my rent. I was like I don’t know. Then she asked me If I was going to come with any money and I was like “I have just enough for my return plane ticket and about a months spending money.” Then this started a huge fight, “when are you going to pay me back, how will you, ect.” I did not know cuse I did not even have a job yet. I knew things from here on were going to be rocky.
I came here in December (cuse she wanted me to) and so we all know that the English Jobs turn overs are in April. So it took me a few months to land a job. I was able to find a job at a restaurant cuse at first that’s what “she” wanted. But then we found out that it was not going to pay for the type of work I was going to do. She decided that I should stick with the teaching. I knew that I had the teaching job in Jan and the restaurant job came shortly after that.
I got my first full pay this month and I gave half of it to her for some traveler’s checques that I spent in Canada after I took off cuse of a fight we had. Over money and culture and her family. So that’s what I’m paying her back for. I know I owe her for that. But we continue to fight over money that I don’t have. I am willing to let her hold the money if we get married, the family is not all that bad and life in Japan rocks. But I can’t have friends or at least hang out with them nor can I or have I done anything in Japan. I just went to Osaka last weekend and went to Universal Studio and the club Sam and Daves. But that’s the only thing I did here. Sight seeing, but you have only so many things in Maizuru to look at. And she is real possessive. If I am hanging out with friends she has to call and see if she can come, she needs to meet all of my friends and she get upset if I go with friends.
And when we do fight over things, she takes everything out of my apartment and leaves me with nothing. Not even the TV. Then I have to beg her to give everything back. I only got the TV back about a week ago, and the DVD that she bought for me, she keeps on taking. Though I know I can’t use it if I got no TV!
I let all of her bad thing go under the carpet and I don’t get mad at the small things as she does. She realizes that she has a lot of bad attributes that she did not have ion Canada. She tells me that “I pledge to change”, but I don’t know if I’m wasting my time. It feels as if I am. I know right now we are not going to get married any more and I’m trying to remove myself from the situation but she is some how pulling me back. Don’t call it whipped cuse I know that I could get almost any other girl I wanted here or back in Canada. To a certain point at least.
Now knowing the story, here are a few questions
1 Should I pay her back in part in full or not at all for her paying my rent seeing that she bagged me to come so early?
I sold everything I had or gave it away back in Canada; I had an apartment full of stuff. And I have a daughter back in Canada too.
2nd Should I keep up with the bull and hope she changes for the better or is it a lost cause?
3rdly what do I do when everything in my apartment here is hers and I want to move. All I have are my cloths and the books I use to teach with?
Seriously going insane.
She also lived with me and did not have to pay for any rent bills or food, though she did on her own accord. We went on trips that we both equally paid for. Some things she did pay for like movies and other outings, restaurant ect. But I did my share too.
So the story goes that she wanted me hurry up and come to Japan three months sooner that I was finally able to. She told me that she was going to pay my rent for me and bills until I found a job. One day on the phone she asks me when I will pay her back for the money that she still has not spent on my rent. I was like I don’t know. Then she asked me If I was going to come with any money and I was like “I have just enough for my return plane ticket and about a months spending money.” Then this started a huge fight, “when are you going to pay me back, how will you, ect.” I did not know cuse I did not even have a job yet. I knew things from here on were going to be rocky.
I came here in December (cuse she wanted me to) and so we all know that the English Jobs turn overs are in April. So it took me a few months to land a job. I was able to find a job at a restaurant cuse at first that’s what “she” wanted. But then we found out that it was not going to pay for the type of work I was going to do. She decided that I should stick with the teaching. I knew that I had the teaching job in Jan and the restaurant job came shortly after that.
I got my first full pay this month and I gave half of it to her for some traveler’s checques that I spent in Canada after I took off cuse of a fight we had. Over money and culture and her family. So that’s what I’m paying her back for. I know I owe her for that. But we continue to fight over money that I don’t have. I am willing to let her hold the money if we get married, the family is not all that bad and life in Japan rocks. But I can’t have friends or at least hang out with them nor can I or have I done anything in Japan. I just went to Osaka last weekend and went to Universal Studio and the club Sam and Daves. But that’s the only thing I did here. Sight seeing, but you have only so many things in Maizuru to look at. And she is real possessive. If I am hanging out with friends she has to call and see if she can come, she needs to meet all of my friends and she get upset if I go with friends.
And when we do fight over things, she takes everything out of my apartment and leaves me with nothing. Not even the TV. Then I have to beg her to give everything back. I only got the TV back about a week ago, and the DVD that she bought for me, she keeps on taking. Though I know I can’t use it if I got no TV!
I let all of her bad thing go under the carpet and I don’t get mad at the small things as she does. She realizes that she has a lot of bad attributes that she did not have ion Canada. She tells me that “I pledge to change”, but I don’t know if I’m wasting my time. It feels as if I am. I know right now we are not going to get married any more and I’m trying to remove myself from the situation but she is some how pulling me back. Don’t call it whipped cuse I know that I could get almost any other girl I wanted here or back in Canada. To a certain point at least.
Now knowing the story, here are a few questions
1 Should I pay her back in part in full or not at all for her paying my rent seeing that she bagged me to come so early?
I sold everything I had or gave it away back in Canada; I had an apartment full of stuff. And I have a daughter back in Canada too.
2nd Should I keep up with the bull and hope she changes for the better or is it a lost cause?
3rdly what do I do when everything in my apartment here is hers and I want to move. All I have are my cloths and the books I use to teach with?
Seriously going insane.