Who says Japanese women want to get married?

[Blues]

I just came across this article- enjoy!

Marriage-minded maidens demand
more, and more, and more!

By Ryann Connell
Staff Writer

June 10, 200
It's wedding season in Japan now, but marriage matchmakers are finding there aren't too many happy June brides around this year, according to Shukan Taishu (6/21).

"We've had women who won't marry unless we can find them a doctor. I could understand if the client was a graduate of some top university and was a real looker, but most of the time the most stubborn ones are the types who I sort of look at and think, 'Hey, you're getting a bit ahead of yourself here, kiddo,'" Keiko Omi, a counselor at the Belle matchmaking service in Tokyo, tells Shukan Taishu.

Recent surveys have showed there are 300,000 more Japanese men of marriageable age than their female counterparts, but that most unmarried women are uninterested in tying the knot. Many of those who do want to wed, though, are pricing themselves out of the market. A 32-year-old Tokyo woman is a case in point.

"She works for an electronics company that everybody's heard of. She's pretty plain. But the conditions she demanded of her marriage partner were absolutely outrageous," a Tokyo matchmaking operation boss says, going through the list of 18 items the woman specified as necessary in her ideal husband. Her demands, all typed out neatly on A-4 paper, went through the ordinary requirements of hefty income, good looks and a decent academic record and also included specific requirements for property ownership, health condition and how much he could expect to inherit.

"When I read her demands, I told her there's nobody in the country who'd meet EVERY requirement she'd insisted on. She told me that was OK and then said she'd pay an extra 1 million yen if I could find somebody who met 'at least two or three' of her conditions," the operator says. "She was an extreme case, but there are women out there looking for too much. Unlike the past, where marriage was everything, many women don't feel the need to get married anymore."

Unemployment, which is hurting women especially hard, is also changing marriage mores.

"This 21-year-old woman due to graduate from university came to me looking for a marriage partner. I was really surprised to learn the views some women today have of the institution of marriage," a matchmaker in Yokohama tells Shukan Taishu. "She told me she'd looked really hard for a job, but couldn't find anything. Then she said her father had been transferred to Osaka and her mother was going with him so she'd have to find a place of her own, but was scared of trying to pay the rent. She wanted to get married so she wouldn't have to worry about that. She added that she was currently seeing a number of men, but that none of them would be interested in marrying. She said she didn't mind marrying somebody up to about 35, as long as he owned his own apartment."

Despite a reputation for being at least ambivalent toward foreigners, Chinese wives are finding fans in the Land of the Rising Sun.

"Farm girls from the poor northern part of the country are really humble. The only thing they ask of prospective husbands is that they be home-oriented and, at the very most, be prepared to be kind to her parents and his own," a broker of international marriages tells Shukan Taishu. "Chinese women would make much better wives than their contemporary Japanese counterparts."

With Japan's divorce rate skyrocketing, setting up re-marriages are also a flourishing part of the matchmaking industry. Those seeking to enter a multiple marriage are less likely to be worried about a prospective partner's background and more worried about bedroom etiquette.

"We had this 41-year-old woman who came to us and said she didn't care about the guy's age or income, but he'd have to be able to satisfy her sexually. Her ex-husband had only been able to perform about once a week and she wasn't happy with that," a spokesman for a company specializing in matching the middle-aged tells Shukan Taishu. "When I asked her how often she'd need to have relations, she went bright red and then answered, in a tiny voice, 'Every night.' But then she added, 'And he's gotta be hung. I can't be with small guys. I need one that's at least big enough to wrap both hands around it.' We checked out all the men registered with us. Some of them felt up to once a week, but most flinched when we told them they'd need to perform every night."

[gentleman quality]

"a broker of international marriages tells Shukan Taishu- Chinese women would make much better wives than their contemporary Japanese counterparts."


Eh? Really? Sounds like he's just trying to push his product while he gets the free advertising.. Well, if he was a SUCCESFUL "broker of int'l marriages" he'd be about to come up with some more provocative advertising than that..



for example:

"FIND YOUR ONE AND ONLY IN A MILLION WOMEN FROM RUSSIA AND UKRAINE!

What makes these women so desirable? Why are so many men willing to go to the other side of the world to find a wife?

Russian women are the most beautiful women on earth. They possess an exotic look and quality that combines the class of "European women" yet remain natural and delicate and embody the seductive traits of womanhood that men seem to adore. Most of these women take good care of themselves; they are slim and are in excellent shape. These women are not materialistic - a man cannot buy their love - he must instead win her heart. Russian women are known for their loyalty, for being affectionate, caring, and very family-oriented. Russian wife is always ready and willing to compromise on all issues. Russian women are also very smart and hard working. They can do it all: they're good lovers, dedicated mothers, great cooks, they are tidy and organized, and have proven to be very competent and reliable professionals! These characteristics make them (in our view, as well as in the view of many men) superior to most Western women. "

(http://www.1-in-a-million.com/)


case closed! russian brides are not only the most beautiful women on earth, non-materialistic, and good lovers, but they are also reliable professionals! can you say the same about their mail-order chinese counterparts?

[Blues]

Nope GQ, the whole thing is about how some Japanese women are. Am not concerned about Chinese, Russian or American women.

[gentleman quality]

well, the main message that I got from reading that article is that the 300,000 hard up japanese men are better off ordering a mail order bride from China than hooking up with a shallow, materialistic japanese girl. sounded like an ad to me. so i tried to one-up 'em.

[Blues]

Well this is a trend that Japanese women always seem to go thru. And before the Chinese girls, it was Phillipans marrying Japanese men. It just goes to show that the guy from Texas who wanted to come and marry a Japanese woman within 2 months does have a chance.

[Anonymous]

Yeah to be honest this guy does come up with a lot of crap of MainichiWai Wai which only furthers the "those crazy japanese" idea so commonly held among non-Japanese.
If you search, you can find stories about freaks and sexually-unsatisfied women anyday. Both his examples were from Tokyo area - would have been better to have data from more rural parts of Japan (not northern China either, no)
I think the author is a sensationalist and that the article is crap. No I couldn't do better because I would not want to be involved in spreading crap about "Japanese women just don't want to get married !
What does he mean by "those wanting to enter a multiple marriage"
Far better would have been to discuss women's independence and lack of reliance on men financially. Or to examine whether there are women who want to marry and raise children and never to work. Or to somehow account for a rising divorce rate. Or a review of Japanese constructions of masculinity with a retrospective of 甘えの構造.
But this is just sensationalist crap.

Kurogane thanks for last night. Where did you meet that Ayako ? She is certainly hot property. I'll give you back that 50,000 next time. Yes of course my arse still hurts

[chamcham]

>
"We had this 41-year-old woman who came to us and said she didn't care about the guy's age or income, but he'd have to be able to satisfy her sexually. Her ex-husband had only been able to perform about once a week and she wasn't happy with that," a spokesman for a company specializing in matching the middle-aged tells Shukan Taishu. "When I asked her how often she'd need to have relations, she went bright red and then answered, in a tiny voice, 'Every night.' But then she added, 'And he's gotta be hung. I can't be with small guys. I need one that's at least big enough to wrap both hands around it.' We checked out all the men registered with us. Some of them felt up to once a week, but most flinched when we told them they'd need to perform every night."
>

*blink blink*

Would anyone happen to have this woman's phone number?
I'm perfect for her........... :-p



Post Edited (06-13-04 20:43)

[docomomo]

So she's 32, plain looking and....


the conditions she demanded of her marriage partner were absolutely outrageous

LOL

I've met alot of women like this. They have tons of emotional baggage and whatnot but since they're plain looking, all these guys with no confidence go after them, thinking they'll be easy. (they're not) Seems to give the women an inflated sense of self-worth and makes them more demanding...but while guys will line up for an easy lay with them, noone wants to marry them hehe

I bet she's a parasite single as well...

[Don Juan]

So she's 32, plain looking and....



LOL

I've met alot of women like this. They have tons of emotional baggage and whatnot but since they're plain looking, all these guys with no confidence go after them, thinking they'll be easy. (they're not) Seems to give the women an inflated sense of self-worth and makes them more demanding...but while guys will line up for an easy lay with them, noone wants to marry them hehe

I bet she's a parasite single as well...

reminds me the women who put their ads on that magazine that starts with M.
they are hilarious "I am a single beautiful SLIM young looking 45yo woman blablabla looking for a SWM livin in Minato blablabla"

I mean hahaha what is it with these christmas cakes and whites?? and what is this obsession with "slim"??

[docomomo]

reminds me the women who put their ads on that magazine that starts with M.
they are hilarious "I am a single beautiful SLIM young looking 45yo woman blablabla looking for a SWM livin in Minato blablabla"

I mean hahaha what is it with these christmas cakes and whites?? and what is this obsession with "slim"??

You mean stale Christmas cakes =P

The reason all your best ones are married is because they were worth marrying...the ones that are that old and single, something is definitely wrong and their expiration dates (for marriage at least) have long since passed.

[Don Juan]

You mean stale Christmas cakes =P

The reason all your best ones are married is because they were worth marrying...the ones that are that old and single, something is definitely wrong and their expiration dates (for marriage at least) have long since passed.

You would guess that they should put their targets in something more terrenal no?

"girl in her 40s is looking for not so good looking, english teacher ok, living in adachi-ku ok guy. he can be chubby or poor I will fill him with my chubby love."

or something like that...

[docomomo]

You would guess that they should put their targets in something more terrenal no?

"girl in her 40s is looking for not so good looking, english teacher ok, living in adachi-ku ok guy. he can be chubby or poor I will fill him with my chubby love."

or something like that...

LOL, everyone wants the best they can get. I'm just saying, they should have realistic expectations. An average-looking 32yo woman has what to offer anyone? She's too old and she is nothing special. Shows like Sex and the City may offer them the dreams of some fantasy guy like she is hoping for but as she gets even older, she'll realize that older, horse-faced women only live lives like that on TV. The true reality of a 30~40 single women is much much lonelier and desperate. No matter how high her expectations are, she'll eventually realize how she wasted her life.

I always say water finds it's own level, and though a few persistent women may get lucky, she has no chance in hell at getting a good looking doctor. All the single doctors I know, both in the US and Japan, are regularly banging their way through the early 20's girls on the nurse staff.

[edin日本]

If you notice more than half of those women are coming out of a bad marriage, the other half have never made a commitment and now are finding it pretty lonely. They would love to dump their baggage on to some unsuspecting Jguy who would let them play house in the manner their mothers were accustomed to but, it ain't gonna happ'n. And, as far as they're concerned white guys are sloppy seconds.

Seems to me that a lot of the stupid gaijin who are coming to Japan these days are more than willing to take sloppy seconds and damaged goods...

[edin日本]

You would guess that they should put their targets in something more terrenal no?

"girl in her 40s is looking for not so good looking, english teacher ok, living in adachi-ku ok guy. he can be chubby or poor I will fill him with my chubby love."

or something like that...

Don't know of any chubby English teachers here in Adachi ku, I do know several poor ones. I'd offer my services but I already have 2 steady GF's-1 Japanese and 1 Thai and, I shouldn't be greedy.

[docomomo]

If you notice more than half of those women are coming out of a bad marriage, the other half have never made a commitment and now are finding it pretty lonely. They would love to dump their baggage on to some unsuspecting Jguy who would let them play house in the manner their mothers were accustomed to but, it ain't gonna happ'n.

I'd say most have partied it up or worked it up and are just finally becoming lonely. Either way, they know themselves better than anyone and should set realistic expectations for themselves. You're spot on with the rest though.


And, as far as they're concerned white guys are sloppy seconds.

Maybe but for alot of them, foreigners are the only ones that will give them any attention...


Seems to me that a lot of the stupid gaijin who are coming to Japan these days are more than willing to take sloppy seconds and damaged goods...

This too

[Piethrower]

Blues, the OP, passed away years ago so the dilemmas of Carrie Bradshaw and her slUtty friends probably no longer concern him but if there's a hell I hope he's watching the complete SATC DVD collection on a 24-hour loop. Assuming he deserves to be in Hell (and I assume most people do) of course, I hardly knew the guy really. He was never much of a poster though so his death wasn't exactly a GP tragedy.


LOL, everyone wants the best they can get. I'm just saying, they should have realistic expectations. An average-looking 32yo woman has what to offer anyone? She's too old and she is nothing special. Shows like Sex and the City may offer them the dreams of some fantasy guy like she is hoping for but as she gets even older, she'll realize that older, horse-faced women only live lives like that on TV. The true reality of a 30~40 single women is much much lonelier and desperate. No matter how high her expectations are, she'll eventually realize how she wasted her life.


Realistic expectations? What a sh*tty way to go through life, having 'realistic expectations.' Shoot for the moon I always say. You can join Blues in Hell too for screwing illiterates and categorically calling single women in their 30s wastes.

[Jeremy_Eggers]

Blues, the OP, passed away years ago so the dilemmas of Carrie Bradshaw and her slUtty friends probably no longer concern him but if there's a hell I hope he's watching the complete SATC DVD collection on a 24-hour loop. Assuming he deserves to be in Hell (and I assume most people do) of course, I hardly knew the guy really. He was never much of a poster though so his death wasn't exactly a GP tragedy.

Steady Rolling Man died??

[nynapaj]

I mean hahaha what is it with these christmas cakes and whites?? and what is this obsession with "slim"??
It is their only good trait. Any woman that is 45 and single is so for a very good reason- not attractive. If she is good looking, you can bet she is crazy.

[Jeremy_Eggers]

desperate guy typical of his discription of himself. (i wont say anymore than that).
japan and japanese hate you. learn about honne and tatamae before you go ahead and say they dont.
fcuktard, even if u had a record with michael fcuking jackson, nobody cares, go live in australia or england.

Hi SS. Are you Japanese? What can you tell me about that honne and Tagamet you mentioned. I've come across those terms before but don't quite know what they mean. Is it true that Japan(ese) hate Pakistani? Why? Because they have nuclear weapons? Also, I think the OP was talking about his criminal record, not his music record. Strange that he mentioned that though, eh?

[Jeremy_Eggers]

It is their only good trait. Any woman that is 45 and single is so for a very good reason- not attractive. If she is good looking, you can bet she is crazy.

How about career women or those that just didn't have the time or opportunity to find a suitable partner because of work e.g. nurses? Are they also batshit crazy if they're good-looking but single?

[nynapaj]

How about career women or those that just didn't have the time or opportunity to find a suitable partner because of work e.g. nurses? Are they also batshit crazy if they're good-looking but single?
There can be exceptions, but nurses and other women with real professions have lots of chances to meet men at work.
Just the sheer amount of people that work at a hospital almost guarantees that they can find someone if they have a good personality and are interested in looking.
Many Japanese companies have loads of dinners with coworkers and associates that they do have chances to meet men, even if the only people they know are through work.
So if they are single at that age, either they never really had an interest in finding someone, or they were nuts... one of those two, because most of them had opportunities.

[Jeremy_Eggers]

There can be exceptions, but nurses and other women with real professions have lots of chances to meet men at work.
Just the sheer amount of people that work at a hospital almost guarantees that they can find someone if they have a good personality and are interested in looking.
Many Japanese companies have loads of dinners with coworkers and associates that they do have chances to meet men, even if the only people they know are through work.
So if they are single at that age, either they never really had an interest in finding someone, or they were nuts... one of those two, because most of them had opportunities.

How about the ones the WERE in a relationship but broke up/got divorced recently? Plenty of those around I guess.

[edin日本]

There can be exceptions, but nurses and other women with real professions have lots of chances to meet men at work.
Just the sheer amount of people that work at a hospital almost guarantees that they can find someone if they have a good personality and are interested in looking.
Many Japanese companies have loads of dinners with coworkers and associates that they do have chances to meet men, even if the only people they know are through work.
So if they are single at that age, either they never really had an interest in finding someone, or they were nuts... one of those two, because most of them had opportunities.

Add to that, that Japanese companies were usually pushing office romances as a way to get their male staff to settle down and to keep the female staff from staying too long, remember being an OL is essentially a deadend job.

[supersatoh]

Hi SS. Are you Japanese? What can you tell me about that honne and Tagamet you mentioned. I've come across those terms before but don't quite know what they mean. Is it true that Japan(ese) hate Pakistani? Why? Because they have nuclear weapons? Also, I think the OP was talking about his criminal record, not his music record. Strange that he mentioned that though, eh?

im a half japanese. i had a lot of bad experiences with non japanese.
japanese usually hates non japanese. but certain countries are hated more than others.
racial profiling is a lot here. i am guilty of it also.

[docomomo]

Realistic expectations? What a sh*tty way to go through life, having 'realistic expectations.' Shoot for the moon I always say.

LOL, not saying to go through life with a dismal attitude on what you can achieve...just saying an average looking 32yo woman thinking she can rope herself a handsome doctor in Japan is beyond fantasy.


You can join Blues in Hell too for screwing illiterates and categorically calling single women in their 30s wastes.

Not being able to read Kanji doesn't make someone illiterate.

I never said single women of any age are wastes but if their goal is to get married and have a family, they definitely have missed the bus.

[Piethrower]

Steady Rolling Man died??

Blues was dead to me until some Pakistani boy resurrected him yesterday. Read about the day Blues died here:

http://forum.gaijinpot.com/showthread.php?16572-Blues-Died&highlight=blues+died

[Piethrower]

LOL, not saying to go through life with a dismal attitude on what you can achieve...just saying an average looking 32yo woman thinking she can rope herself a handsome doctor in Japan is beyond fantasy.


Where do you get off telling some 32 y/o woman (who's now 38 and hopefully got that boob job) what she should be shopping for in a husband? Jeezus man you've got too many opinions on the hens for your own good...you're chattier than my mother when she gets tipsy.



Not being able to read Kanji doesn't make someone illiterate.

I never said single women of any age are wastes but if their goal is to get married and have a family, they definitely have missed the bus.

She couldn't read 'East Exit' (!? which beggars belief btw) or a menu in her native language but that doesn't make her functionally illiterate? Did you by chance notice her toting around the katakana version of "War and Peace?" But whatever...I am surprised at your gallantry and new-found affection for her - go ahead and make an honest woman of her before she wastes her life.

[Jeremy_Eggers]

Blues was dead to me until some Pakistani boy resurrected him yesterday. Read about the day Blues died here:

http://forum.gaijinpot.com/showthread.php?16572-Blues-Died&highlight=blues+died

Yeah, I know.

Blues = SRM

[docomomo]

Where do you get off telling some 32 y/o woman (who's now 38 and hopefully got that boob job) what she should be shopping for in a husband?

LOL, I'm not saying "what she should be shopping for in a husband" but I am saying her that her "requirements" for a husband are about as realistic as a janitor's requirement for a vehicle be that it's made from dry carbon. Yeah she's 38 and still single unless she has changed up her "requirements" for a husband.


Jeezus man you've got too many opinions on the hens for your own good...you're chattier than my mother when she gets tipsy.

Says the guy " chattin' " me up. Bring your mom next time, tipsy status of course.


She couldn't read 'East Exit' (!? which beggars belief btw) or a menu in her native language but that doesn't make her functionally illiterate? Did you by chance notice her toting around the katakana version of "War and Peace?" But whatever...I am surprised at your gallantry and new-found affection for her - go ahead and make an honest woman of her before she wastes her life.

She's dumb, many cute girls are dumb. Wifey material she is not but I have no interest in making a girlfriend or wife of her, just banging away when convenient. She serves that purpose well enough. So what are you upset about again?