gaijin guys

[Anonymous]

I've got a question.
For some reason. it seems to me that gaijin guys are MORE LIKELY to hook up with any girls they meet. Why is that?
I know J-guys are shier but they also don't start going out that easily even if they meet somebody..
When gaijin guys meet somebody, they start going out like in a second.
That's just my oipnion though. Is that because you guys are looking for a girl to have sex?
Or is a girlfriend something that you have to have in every period of your life??

I'm sorry if I'm kind of generalizing foreigners but I don't think I'm like totally wrong... Especially in schools ,there were more couples abroad than in Japan, from what I've seen. I thought it was kind of interesting

[Anonymous]

That's a really interesting question that funnily, no-one has ever thought of asking before.
You're capable of considerable insight.
Any ideas folks ?

[person]

I'm not sure about foreign men; however, I will make an observation - I've met many Japanese "salarymen" since I came here in 2000. I was surprised at first when many of them told me they didn't date much - if at all - during college. It surprised me since they were by all accounts good-looking, "normal" men. It shocked me because that is usually when most of us (meaning, people from back home) are dating the most - I mean, after all, there are literally 1000s of people around you. I'm still not sure why this difference is - I certainly don't think all of them were sitting around studying hard (I say this based on my experience teaching at several Japanese universities where CIRCLES, ARBAITO, SLEEPING, SHOPPING, <insert any/every activity other than studying here> comes before studying...for most, that is). For many of my friends back home (male and female alike), we have asked the question (at times, rhetorical) what happened to all the opportunties to meet people...like when we were in school.

So, I'm not sure if this really has any bearing on your original post. However, it's somewhat related. Do foreigners - in general - date more at every/any point in our lives? I haven't a clue. I just thought it was an interesting difference I have noted on more than on occasion.

[shokutaku]

I think westerners tend to date more often in general than Japanese. I don't mean this in any sorded way, but recent stats show that Japanese have sex less often than people in most other developed countries in the world. Could this be because they date less or is it due to other social conditions that tend sex to be less of an issue?

Person - it may be worth while asking any men you date, who say they didn't date much while in school, what club they were in. If they were in a sports club they probably didn't have time or simply spent all their waking hours with team mates. Seems to be a big thing here.

As far as gaijin guys hooking up with any girls they meet, for some of us, that is not the case, but for the most part Japan is nothing but easy money and easy honey for most guys here. Guys who wouldn't get looked at once let alone twice back home can comparitively easily get a date here......sad but true. Not sure who is easier, the gaijin men or the local lasses.

[Anonymous]

That's true that J-guys spend a lot of time with their team mates. But how can they live like that? I don't get it. Do they not have lust at all? Or can guys forget about this kind of stuff when they are into sports?

[shokutaku]

to be honest, I really don't know. I guess they have lust but perhaps not in the same way western guys do. I had lust flowing from my pores while at school, never did me any good mind you. But I suppose it is just a social aspect of Japan. Interestingly, many couples stop having any intimacy and sex after they have their children. The reason why the cheating rate among young married Japanese men is so high, is because from the day their wife becomes pregnant till about a year after the child is born they don't have sex with their wives...beyond me but there you have.

Other cultures put less emphasis on sex and dating than western societies, maybe japan leans more that way than to the way your society does. Interesting thought

[chibaken]

I think there are a lot of variables to consider. One being that we're in a foreign country without a lot of the support and/or comfortable surroundings that we've had all our lives. To be offered the opportunity to have someone be with us and hopefully provide some kind of support/affection is something I think few would turn down. In our home countries I think most gaijin have more friends, family memebers, and other societal supports that allow us to turn down and overlook a lot of opportunites that might arise. Here we are left out of a huge part of the society, and for most probably don't feel at all a part of the Japanese society. To put it bluntly I suppose gaijin guys take what they can get. It seems like a natural reaction to the situation though of course there are other ways to satisfy these needs.

[Anonymous]

BTW I'm Japanese(^.^)

[Blues]

Lem me get my 2 cents in. Isn`t this something to dop with Japanese culture from long ago. In the west we tend to be more open andmore awre of sex an at ealier age. Where in Japan, society by nature tends to be closed and sex is not as open. Althought some people would say that is not true. Japan is in a way, behind the West about sexual freedom. I think Japanese men do have urges , they just are not as driven by them as us Gaijin men.

Shokutaku ~ how can you make this assumption? What is this based on?
The reason why the cheating rate among young married Japanese men is so high, is because from the day their wife becomes pregnant till about a year after the child is born they don't have sex with their wives...beyond me but there you have.

It seem to me that, younger Japanese(men and women) are more awre and into sex nowdays than the people of earlier generations. The fact that they tended to spend all their time working was a big factor if this was the case. But as far as I know, nobody has done any studies dealing with the cheating rate among young married Japanese men. if such a thing does exist.
In your ealier post you said: Guys who wouldn't get looked at once let alone twice back home can comparitively easily get a date here......sad but true. Not sure who is easier, the gaijin men or the local lasses.
This might be true but why is it that some Guys wouldn`t get looked at once let alone twice back home? Is it wrong, that they would come to a country and find some sort od happiness whatever that might be? In Japan I have seem some Japnese guys who might meet this criteria ( whatever it is) and they are out with some foxy lloking chicks. So I would think that Japanese in General tend to look at the other sex and life in a very different light than us Westerners.

[shokutaku]

Blues, tricky to know what the facts are on this one. But, and correct me if I am wrong, but with many GG and JG relationships, I think more than differences in how we view sex and life, I think it has alot to do with a mutual fascination as to why so many Japenese girls go out with GG and vise versa. While young and in Japan, GG can have a flit with a local lass and go home to tell the grand kids about it in later life. Likewise, many Japanese girls have a flit with a GG because they can be 90% (just a guess so don't slam me about this figure) sure that it won't last so they can have some fun now, loose the guy when he goes home or before and then settle down with a JG knowing they have taken the chance for a bit of "cultural exchange" while they had the chance. And lets face it, most of the gaijin male population in Japan are probably under 30 and really only interested in bit of a fling anyway. It means both sides have their requirements met.

I don't think it is wrong for, perhaps not the best looking, guys to come here looking for happiness, I was just stating an observation and sharing what several Japanese women over the years have asked me about. "How do they do it?" I think this all makes for a very interesting discussion.

With regards to young men cheating in the first couple of years of marriage, the average life of a marriage in Japan now is from memory under 6 years. Cheating by men is becoming less and less tolerated by women compared to in the past when it was considered par for the course. This is becoming a more known about topic now.
I do think Japanese men have similar drives to western, but it is perhaps not shown always in the same way. If they didn't have a drive there wouldn't be the blue light areas round the corner from Buskin Robbins and x rated manga next to cooking books in book shops

Thoughts??

[swordfishtrombone]

Japanese guys also just don't 'date' like Westerners do. Rather, you have 'go-cons' and other 'nomikais' for people to get together and mingle. I get the sense that when you 'date' in Japan it implies you are a couple, whereas Westerners do it more casually. So maybe the Japanese have a slightly different selection process - meeting in groups. Westerners go out on dates.

[timuli]

"Guys who wouldn't get looked at once let alone twice back home can comparitively easily get a date here...." - opposite rings true for me. Had no problem back home. Here it seems I can't even score in a barrel of P**** if you know what I mean.

[buds]

"BTW I'm Japanese(^.^)"
the japanese people (that i know) do not entertain visitors at home... why is that? i think that is the answer right there. i know plenty of americans that throw parties in their home -- i am not one of them (because then i would have to clean and i am lazy), but i definitely visit others...

[Code Rot]

If you walk around on the weekend, you will see hundreds of Japanese couples, arm in arm. Sometimes you might see a Japanese woman holding hands with a white Euro/American guy. You will probably also see a number of Japanese guys with Thai or Korean or Philipino women, although at first glance they might look like a regular Japanese couple to you, unless you are an Asian expert.

My point is this: don't fall for stereotypes! One of the biggest stereotypes there is claims that Japanese women want white gaijin men. This is not true, from a statistical point of view -- in fact, there are many more ___-guys with gaijin wives (usually from The Phillipines, Thailand, China, and other Asian countries.) You could almost conclude, that Japanese women DON'T want white boyfriends -- they would rather have a Japanese boyfriend! The statistics support me on this. If you want to disagree with this opinion, supply some statistics which state that Japanese women prefer foreign boyfriends to Japanese boyfriends. I will be happy to refute your evidence and claim you pulled it out of your ___.
Another stereostype is that Japanese couples are unusually bashful when it comes to sex. You just have to look at all the crowds at Shinjuku station to see this is a load of old shite. Where did all these people come from? Sometime in the past, the Japanese must have been leading a fairly vigorous sex life. And back then, they probably had a healthy relationship to marijuana. There are so many places in Japan which have the kanji for "marijuana"(asa) 麻 in their name. The Americans are the bashful ones -- they banned sex and marijuana. All this good vs evil bullshit continues under George Bush. . Compared to America, Japan is reasonably chilled out and healthy.



Post Edited (07-19-04 02:03)

[Mandrake]

I have heard from girls that they have had sex with foreign guys because they were afraid of what might happen if they said no. In my view, Japanese women need to be a little more educated before they put themselves into potentially compromising situations.

[petite noe]

Responding to the first post...

I`ve noticed this phenomenon too.. in my language school, nearly all the men from western countries have native girlfriends (the Asians tend to mingle with their own countrymen).

One classmate brags about how many dates he has nearly every week, with girls he just meets on trains or at parties, etc... it`s kinda annoying lately, he talks about it so much.

Maybe it`s tied into that "I was a loser back home but here I`m so cool" complex that men seem to get over here... to tell you my honest opinion, of the western guys at my school from my country, if they asked me out I wouldn`t say yes...... hmm.

[sincity]

Hey little noe,
All your posts seem to have one thing in common: gaijin guys annoy you. You got anything else to say?

And I thought western guys were always hitting on you....The guys at your school clearly aren't...Most guys clearly aren't....

You know, I have several Japanese male friends. Their taste in women always baffles me...
If you really wanna turn him on, why don't you show him your posts?



Post Edited (08-13-04 02:42)

[madmaxxam]

If I might add a bit to this conversation... I recently started a relationship with a Japanese girl (older actually, but that's not the point). Anyway, the point is that she made almost every single move on me. We had met as friends a few times before, but then she essentially attacked me, and now we're a couple. It's definately nice to be in a relationship in that it adds a degree of comfort to my stay here in Japan, and I'll be here for a year, but even as a man I have to wonder where a relationship that started as something very sexual might go. Maybe J-girls go quicker with gaijin men because of the previously stated fling before they settle down with a J-guy, or maybe it's because they feel like they have less time to start a relationship, and if they have thoughts about starting a serious reltionship they want to be in one well before the gaijin is scheduled to return home.

If a J-girl has thoughts of marrying a gaijin man and leaving the country she wants to be damn sure when the time comes, and if she wants to lure the gaijin into staying in Japan, she'll probably need to put in a lot of time and effort.

[jmpeer12]

Hm...
This is because we date like this where we grew up normally.
Of course it's not the same for all of us.
But I've dated a girl the day I met her before.

It's not for sex like you said... dating is just fun.

But of course this doesn't apply to everyone.
Some guys look for sex or attention, but to be honest, most guys don't, even if they act like they do.

Oh yeah, a lot of gaijin guys think Japanese girls are very attractive too.

[1standarduser]

Hm...
1)But I've dated a girl the day I met her before.

2)It's not for sex like you said... dating is just fun.

But of course this doesn't apply to everyone.

3)Some guys look for sex or attention, but to be honest, most guys don't, even if they act like they do.

4)Oh yeah, a lot of gaijin guys think Japanese girls are very attractive too.


1) Yup

2) Dating is fun.

3) Every guy wants sex. Every single person on this Earth wants attention.

4) Because they aren`t fat.

[jmpeer12]

No, trust me... unlike 1standarduser,
not many guys date just for sex.
What I said earlier is true.

But I would like to explain even more..

1.) If you're a gaijin, then there will be many more native girls
to date in Japan.

2.) And to a gaijin, Japanese girls are very cute compared to
girls from their home (usually Americans)

3.) Also, why would a gaijin go to Japan, if he won't date a
Japanese girl. Good luck not getting depressed...

4.) And then there are gaijin who will simply think it's
exciting to date a Japanese girl.

5.) It's also simply a good way to make even more friends,
get more involved with where you live,
and learn more about the culture.

I'd probably date a lot if I were in Japan too.
I love talking to everyone and making random friends ha ha...

Plus, where I live, more than half of the girls are much fatter
than the men and are not very interesting or cool. It's depressing :(

[Doomheart]

I've got a question.
For some reason. it seems to me that gaijin guys are MORE LIKELY to hook up with any girls they meet. Why is that?
I know J-guys are shier but they also don't start going out that easily even if they meet somebody..
When gaijin guys meet somebody, they start going out like in a second.
That's just my oipnion though. Is that because you guys are looking for a girl to have sex?
Or is a girlfriend something that you have to have in every period of your life??

I'm sorry if I'm kind of generalizing foreigners but I don't think I'm like totally wrong... Especially in schools ,there were more couples abroad than in Japan, from what I've seen. I thought it was kind of interesting


painting with rather broad strokes here don't you think?

every person is different.

A better question would be why do so many J-women like to date Gaijin men who are thin and good looking.

Personaly since i do not live in japan I can't speak from experience.

However for every demand thier will be a supply

[yabadaba]

I've got a question.
For some reason. it seems to me that gaijin guys are MORE LIKELY to hook up with any girls they meet. Why is that?
I know J-guys are shier but they also don't start going out that easily even if they meet somebody..
When gaijin guys meet somebody, they start going out like in a second.
That's just my oipnion though. Is that because you guys are looking for a girl to have sex?
Or is a girlfriend something that you have to have in every period of your life??

I'm sorry if I'm kind of generalizing foreigners but I don't think I'm like totally wrong... Especially in schools ,there were more couples abroad than in Japan, from what I've seen. I thought it was kind of interesting

It’s called the vacation mentality! Japan has a way of making you feel welcome but not really welcome, the same way you feel when you’re in Cancun or any vacation destination. Mix in booze and actual partying vacationing people and what you get is a lowering of normal standards. It’s not that we don’t know were banging some ugly byatch, we just don’t care because nobody we care about will ever know!


Ever meet a couple of J-girls on a vacation somewhere like Australia or Hawaii? Enough said!

[Smuttynose]

Ever meet a couple of J-girls on a vacation somewhere like Australia or Hawaii? Enough said!

Is the answer to that question supposed to be "yes" or "no"?

Because if it's "no," does that mean that Japan is a super-awesome party time all the time?

[yabadaba]

Is the answer to that question supposed to be "yes" or "no"?

Because if it's "no," does that mean that Japan is a super-awesome party time all the time?

Well, I was leaving up to your imagination. But I’m sure there are more than a few guys here that know exactly what I’m talking about. You could also throw in a lot of those Japanese exchange students.

The first time I ever heard about it was when I was in college and was dating this half Korean chick. Apparently she befriended this Japanese girl exchange student in HS and in doing so introduced her to her circle of friends. Later she found out that her new friend f_cked nearly every guy friend she had, including her bf. Just so you get it, were talking 10+ guys here.

Anyways, after her little story I took it on myself to investigate the situation among the J-girl population at my school.

People, guys, girls, whoever, tend to be a little loose when on vacation or temporarily living in a foreign country.