which language for love?

[carlos]

After reading William of Lemon's excellent thread on keeping kids bilingual, I've been thinking about the language we use in our relationship. With my Japanese wife, we use both English and Japanese. Usually it's Japanese for the easy stuff and shortmails, like "I'll be home soon". But when we need to express our feelings, we use English. I've tried to use Japanese, but it has often lead to misunderstandings. My wife prefers that I use English for anything serious.

I wonder if English is easier to use in J-W relationships? Do you say "I love you" to your partner, or "aishiteru"?

[Blues]

English is much more romantic than Japanese don`t you know?

[kurogane]

English for sex, Japanese for emotions, gibberish in the morning

[petite noe]

I have the same thoughts sometimes about that... sometimes I think it`s stressful, especially if one person is fluent in both languages, and the other is only fluent in one. Translating everything can get stressful and sometimes annoying. It`s sad but true. :(

Also if we have a misunderstanding, sometimes it takes twice as long to talk it out, and it leaves both of us very grumpy for the rest of the day....

And then you got the conflict of emotional vs. hiding emotions... it`s very hard for me to be sensitive to a Japanese person`s moods when they barely ever show anything!



Post Edited (07-02-04 18:03)

[kurogane]

Blues,

Isnt that becasue there are no really good, sexy/dirty words in Japanese (OR, not that we know of)?

[imTony]

No dirty words in Japanese?
I could have sworn that some of the words that I knew were considered dirty.

[kurogane]

That is becasue you are a dirty dirty boy.
Now go and wash your mouth out with soap.

:)

[imTony]

Bah! Hypocrite!

"Divide by two and SUBTRACT seven." <----- You remember this, eh?

You are a dirty old man.

: )

[kurogane]

The truth is no libel.
Currently, however, the formula is undergoing revision:

either divide by three and add seven, or divide by two and add a day.

Born again, at the Fountain of Her Youth

[swordfishtrombone]

language for love?
you mean we're supposed to talk to them?

[kurogane]

Only dirty stuff, whilst exchanging precious bodily fluids

[orochi]

What are you guys talking about? Japanese is a great language for love and even better for sex!

[kurogane]

Agreed, Japanese can be a great language for expressing delicate and detailed emotional states with astounding economy.

As for the sex bit, do you think that maybe it is because you find the use of an Exotic Language somehow makes the whole thing more exciting (analogous to why many Japanese women prefer to use English during sex)?

Just a thought.

Is it this topic, or am I feeling hot from the weather?

[orochi]

No, I don't think it is that Japanese is exotic to me. I think it's just the kind of language that gets used. Formal and casual Japanese can be pretty hot. All the 'sasete' (let me...) can be really hot, too. It's grrrrrrrrreat!

[sincity]

orochi,

So did the snack club girl "let you"?

[sincity]

"Agreed, Japanese can be a great language for expressing delicate and detailed emotional states with astounding economy."

Kurogane,

Could you give us any concrete examples?
I think everyone at GP would appreciate it if you'd write in Japanese more often. But you must be astoundingly economical.

[orochi]

sincity,
I cancelled the whole thing, actually. Didn't have time for that dohan nonsense. I've got better ladies to be 'letting' with. :)

[kurogane]

Let It Be, Let It Be.

Orochi,
good to hear that you are letting it all hang out. I know what you mean, but I guess I just never got the hang of the power politics that often seems to be involved in Japanese sexual/romantic relationships. Glad to hear someone is digging it, though.

Sincity,
I am in a bit of a hurry, but think of words like natsukashii, kuyashii, magirewashii, samishii, sabishii, and the often exceptional length of the analogous English terms. Not that we can't express such states, simply that it takes more words to do it, which frequently frustrates my Japanese friends, even when their English is really good.

As for writing more in Japanese, I do enough of that at work, and, after all, this is an English language forum, no? Any questions on the above, fire away!

:)

[Code Rot]

The interesting thing to me is that, in the height of sexual orgasm, an English speaker will say: "I'm coming"!

And a Japanese speaker will say: "Iku!" ("I'm going!")

Totally opposite meanings -- coming/going -- but both mean the same thing.

Coming home to Heaven / going back to Heaven.

It means the same thing, but gramatically, the meanings are completely 100 per cent opposite. It just goes to show that Japanese and English are completely different, but yet, deep down, almost the same.

[kurogane]

Hmmmm,

I like the perspective, but I don't think I agree with you. Remember, they say "I will go there at 8 pm" (in direct translation, eh) where we say "I'm coming at 8 pm".

Also, "going" could be construed as "joining with partner in significant way"

Then again, maybe not :)

[Anonymous]

Code Rot is that what they say ? `Iku` ? I have never heard that one before. And I can go the full 5 minutes !! Why are all my girfriends like this ?

[kurogane]

Mmmmm,

If you have never heard that one before, it sounds like you need to go the full seven minutes.

And BTW, they dont all say it, even if they are doing it.

がんばれ　炉度兄

[sincity]

And BTW, they don't all do it, even if they are saying it. Girls are so wacky that way....

I've had to wean so many of them from their bad habit of faking. In fact, I'm probably one of the few men in the world who can bring a woman to a climax every time.

Here's a tip: don't neglect the eyeballs. Girls pass out in ecstasy whenever I employ my famous "lick & flip" technique.

To be honest, however, I'm not sure I'm in favor of pleasuring women to such an extent. It makes it that much harder to break it off. Can't just say "I'm going, I'm going"....

[Anonymous]

lick and flick huh !! will have to try that one.
Sincity how do you do it ? I have tried the old Cleveland Steamer and the Meat Tail but none of them work over here. I even buttered her up with compliments and a whole salad of lies, flowers, holidays, romance, essential oils, chocolates, cream paste, trifle in the morning, singing, approproations, uppers, downers, lefts, endearment, longing, cars, trips abroad, a day up a crane, shopping trips, massages and all sorts but I cannot make her say the "I" word.
Am I not in I-mode ? Is I-mode when you come first everytime ?

"Wear the suit but don`t be the suit"

[sincity]

The old Cleveland Steamer didn't work, eh? I find that hard to believe. Are you sure that you're doing things in the right order? When done right, your girl will almost always ring you in the morning and feign anger: "Oh you stinker! ビックリした！” But deep down she'll feel very satisfied. My only problem with the Cleveland Steamer has been the getaway...I leave a trail of evidence like you wouldn't believe!

Getting back to the original thread, I cast my vote for Japanese. I once had a girl who kept repeating "you drive me crazy, you drive me crazy" the whole time we were making love. I tried to shut her up by applying the "lick & flip" but that just intensifed her screams. Worst of all, she had sort of a psuedo-Brooklyn accent when she said it. I should have never let her do that homestay in New York.



Post Edited (07-21-04 17:32)

[gentleman quality]

yeah, back to the topic at hand..

i dont say i love you OR aishiteru. just "suki". its an all-around winner in the vagueness department.
the rest of the time, japanese is much easier for me when it comes to romance. I prefer japanese for romantic situations bcuz you can say the cheesiest sh*t that you'd neeeever say in English and not have to wallow in a state of utter self-disgust later.

[carlos]

cheers all - the results so far are evenly mixed:

Romance: English 2 Japanese 3
During sex: English 2 Japanese 2 say nothing 1
After sex: gibberish 1

[kurogane]

And Japanese draws even during sex..............

Hang on readers, its going to be a photo finish

What in the H are "the old Cleveland Steamer and the Meat Tail"

[sincity]

The Cleveland Steamer is the bomb, man! I'm surprised you've never heard of it, Kuro-chan. Well, since this is probably outside of Trip Hop's and Gloomanddoomski's purview, I shall satisfy your curiosity. But remember: you asked.

Traditonally, the Cleveland Steamer has been used to exact revenge on a cheating lover, but these days some couples consider it to be an integral part of a healthy sex life. It goes like this: First, you and your partner engage in wild love-making. When your partner falls asleep from exhaustion, you take a big dump on his/her chest and flee the scene. It's important to leave as soon as possible because you never know how long it will take for a Cleveland Steamer to fully penetrate the "victim's" nostrils.

And now you know....

[sincity]

As for the Meat Tail? Beats me....Care to enlighten us, Rodney?

[kurogane]

YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your handle is well deserved. Keep up the good work. I have too many Lutheran guilt issues to engage in such activity. Ahh, well. I can enjoy vicariously.

[kurogane]

BTW, what about grunting? Nobody has discussed that all important aspect of romantic interaction?

So which is it? To grunt in English (or, native tongue), or to grunt in Japanese???

[carlos]

is that an "uh uh" or a "ow ow"??