non-obedient, non-stereotypical J-girls do exist!

[japanesecutie]

guys and gals, I have read just a few threads and I have to tell you, people seem to know only a few things about us and think all j-girls are like this and that.. come on, this is a country with over 120 mil. people and you can't say things for all of us can you?

myth:
j-girls are...
easy and would love to go for only white guys
interested in dating only japanese guys
two-faced and obedient
looks-concious
stupid/dumb
desperate to get married
easy to get attached

truth:
so many women, so many minds - we have variety
at least I am hoest and straight-forward and tell you exactly what I think, not what people want me to think or what I want people to think
I am sure girls from all over the world do care about their looks in certain ways; we just have our own way which does not apply to everyone
have you met well-educated j-girls? some are smarter than you are. ;)
the social perception is playing the major role in influencing their thinking, but not everyone is desperate or easy to get attached - not me, at least.

I am sure there are many that I can list, but I dare to stop here. (and I don't want any hate mail either.) :p I just do not appreciate generalization, and you guys/gals start to learn the possibilities we have. we are all humans before different races.

extra:
during the past few years, it has become a phenomenon that asian girls go out with white guys in certain parts of calif. it was like the "norm" to see those interracial couples. I am sure there are many asian-fetishers as well, but have you thought about the attraction might come from "the way they are"? not solely focusing on race/ethnicity?

I have dated men and women from asia, us, south america, and europe, and still trying to see who captures my heart. I am definitely not interested in those looks-concious men who think they can get any girls they want. that's a big turn off. looks is fairly important only to the certain extent; I am mostly attracted to the "energy" that comes out of people, regardless of the ethnicity or gender. confidence and arrogance are different, and fear and insecurity co-exists. I love confidence in people, very attractive.

so if anyone is interested in dating me (lol), I am accepting applications. ;) open-minded, unpredictable, fun-loving, spontaneous girl with petite, feminin looks. INFJ, with post-grad education, and a little bit of an exhibitionist. talented in arts and music, and can tell good/evel in people. used to be a sprinter. love traveling, going out, dancinc, meeting new people and trying new things.

yeah I am representing this non-obedient, non-stereotypical j-girl population here..

thanks for reading my self-centered thread. lol
xoxo

[spaicecowboi]

I've been here a mere two years now, but do unfortunately get the impression that your average Japanese girl has a mind very different to that of a westerner. I would LOVE to agree with you that there are bundles and bundles of fun loving, deep, emotionally charged, independent, non-obedient(that's a great one) females out there with no preference or prejudice for whatever race may cross their path. however I haven't met so many yet. I would feel a lot less confident writing such a thread were it not for other sensible, well rounded gaijin I know, who often complain about the same frustrating issues! Please remember, I think I speak for the masses when I say you guys a beautiful bunch, so why therefore would we do out darndest to punch holes in a race of women we love so goddamn much! We should be casting aside the negatives at unprescedented speed!

Don't get me wrong, some of the issues on your list of false traits I don't agree with, like Japanese gagging for it from white guys, but I think some also have some truth.

But then if you Japanese women were that bad, I wouldn't have been here for 2 years would I.

Still workin on it though.

Peace.

Steve.

[Frungy]

I think that when most people refer to "J-girls", they specifically refer to that stereotypical block of people you mentioned in the mythis category rather than referring to any arbitrary Japanese female. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle... but the Japanese women that go to Roppongi weekly seem to fit into that stereotypical block quite well.

And your English is definitely way too good for you to be a "J-girl". If you didn't spend an extensive period of time overseas, I'd be very surprised. And once any Japanese person goes overseas for a year+, their opinions on everything change. Hmm, well once ANY person goes overseas, their opinions change.

[Travis Smith]

No thanks, not into bisexual potential disease exchanging females.

Yes I have dated Japanese women, I can say that most of them are quite shallow.
They're only interested in money, looks, prestige and the future possibility that they can go over to the US for a new life. Hell I even had one tell me before our date that her goal was to marry an American so that she could move to the US.

Intelligence, well now that's all relevant to one's upbringing or lack of it. Obviously you were educated in the states and that puts you into a different bracket all together. If you're anything like an American women, then I can say that I don't have much interest and I would say that most of the other white guys who read this would agree. American woman are the most difficult women in the world to please. They want their cake and eat it too.

No I'm not saying that all Japanese women are like this, just the majority of the ones who date white guys. Just take a ride on down to Roppongi and see for your self or head on over to one of the international companies where so many white hunters work.

On another note, why is it that so many Japanese men date Asian women other than Japanese? Could it be they seem the same qualities that I've seen in Japanese women?

One last comment: It's good to see that Japanese women have the guts to get on here and give their opinions.

[Jackie Treehorn]

As you may already know, Jackie Treehorn is non-obedient and non-stereotypical. From just my posts today you may find that I know a fair bit about a variety of things....from fine cooking to KY Jelly and where to buy it in Kansai.

Anyhow, Jackie Treehorn thinks that gaijin guys who think "jgirls are easy etc etc (listed above)" and post about it on websites are just the guys who hang out in dank gaijin bars and have nothing better to do.

Jackie "$10 on Jan Ullrich for 2004" Treehorn

Jackie is a little stressed at work today.....gotta go work out for a bit.

[Jackie Treehorn]

Travis.....I read an article in...hmm...Japan Times that hit on your last point.....saying that other Asian women are popular cause they don`t have all the baggage and hang-ups that avg. Japanese ladies "usually" have.....


That gravity of reality doesn`t weigh people down enough......

[sincity]

You're a bit of an exhibitionist and you used to be a sprinter? Sounds like a streaker to me! But as long as you don't disrupt my favorite sporting events, it's cool with me.

[westsan]

Im preterbed by this stupid assumption by J-Girls that Gaijin guys think J-Girls are easy.

That is the best thing about J-Girls!! They have a rather adept eye toward spending quality time with someone. They dont require anything in return except consideration for who they are as a person.

That is thier good point.

Gaijin guys think that Japanese girls are VIRGIN PURE compared to Gaijin girls.
That is why they like J-girls.

If a girl was to sleep around with multiple partners THAT would be a negative..
But that is not the image that Gaijin have of Japanese girls.

[Jackie Treehorn]

"But that is not the image that Gaijin have of Japanese girls."

And thats why gaijin guys are so naive.

"They dont require anything in return except consideration for who they are as a person."

What about the ones that start stalking you?

[Anonymous]

Hi Ayu
how are you doing ?
You sound cute but I don`t date sprinters, I have been let down too many times.
There was Satomi who could run 200 metres really quicky. That is all very well but then she would make a point of racing me and winning in front of MEN....and I felt awfully small.

one thing - you address Gaijinpot as one, as if "we" all make these assumptions about Japanese girls and in doing so display the very trait you are castigating us for. You assumed all posters here hold Japanese girls in this particular brand of disregard.

And overlord master why is this personal being permitted ?
Possibly because it isn`t a personal and is just an attempt to get a debate going.
Probably written by Westsan. Incidentally, raped anyone for TV recently ?

[imTony]

Japanesecutie,

I am behind you 100% as far as the all Japanese women want to sleep with foreign men and overall generalization thing being bogus and unfair. Of course not all Japanese women want to date foreigners. Although, if *you* spent a significant amount of time outside of Japan (it seems like you did,) then you are in an entirely different category than what most people refer to as "jgirls" (I hate that word.) Also, as I am sure you know, not all foreign men think in this generalizing way.

Jackie Treehorn,

Jackie Treehorn said, "Anyhow, Jackie Treehorn thinks that gaijin guys who think "jgirls are easy etc etc (listed above)" and post about it on websites are just the guys who hang out in dank gaijin bars and have nothing better to do."

My thoughts EXACTLY - especially the "post about it on websites" part. However, we have to be careful about what we say on this website... because some charisma man will come by and accuse us of being puritans, say we must disapprove of extramarital sex, call us "haters,” or some crap like that. Which, I assume is as much in your case as it is in mine, completely inaccurate.

__________________________________________________ _

No hard feelings

[sincity]

AYU,
IOU an apology. I realize now that I was guilty of stereotyping when I assumed you were a streaker. You probably ran in designer running shoes. This white guy is doing some soul-searching, or as we say here in Ja-PAN, 反省してる.

This is a great thread because we can all learn a lot about ourselves. We need more threads like this...

I welcome your efforts to dispel the myths about Japanese women. I am on your side. For my part, I have been celebrating and feasting on the diversity of Japanese women for lo these many years.

However, I have to admit that I am still troubled by your claim of having been a sprinter. Forgive me, but I don't see how you could possibly have been very fast...By your own admission, you have not taken any performance enhancing drugs and you have short legs. What was your time in the 100? Just answer yes or no.

Well, since you've put that part of your life behind you, I suppose it's a moot point. You chased your dream and it looks good on you! Go J-girls! But if it's fame you're after, maybe you should consider streaking....

[Anonymous]

iM just out of curiosity and don`t read into it or nuthin`, but have you been to Japan before ?

[imTony]

I have been to Japan, yes. (Soon I'll go again)

Outside of Japan, I have spent lots of time with Japanese people.

That aside, generalizing is unfair whether we are talking about Japan or not. It just seems that Japan is often the target of it. Am I out to lunch?

[kurogane]

Tony,
Its a very good point. The problem here is that the OP came up with a wider and more insulting set of generalisations about us making wide and insulting generalisations about them. Doesn't sound like her self-vaunted post-grad education amounted to much. And it does sound like a bit of our Western male guilt is a mounting.
BTW, Don't let that time you got accused of being puritanical, yada yada get to you, man. Nobody else thought that. It was just somebody getting touchy. You is doing just fine.

On the other hand, I could use a date. Ayu, are you coming to Kyoto soon??????
I would like to prove to you that one BIG stereotype about foreign guys is very real, very alive, and very willing to be tested, in a proper setting, of course.

Can you divide by two and add seven?

:)



Post Edited (07-14-04 19:18)

[Frungy]

Let me guess... Kurogane has ridiculously strong body odor?

[kurogane]

Frungy,

What are you doing, going around answering all my riddles???

And worse, getting them right. ;)

[Frungy]

I'm stalking you.

[kurogane]

I do feel ever so flattered, suh.
And, just for the record, I bathe regularly, and smell rather nice 'cause I use komenuka soap.
Then again, my girlfriend has no nose.

[Frungy]

She must smell awful then, to paraphrase a Monty Python joke.

[kurogane]

Tee Hee.　I'll tell her you said that. Then you'll really have to worrry about getting stalked.. Not by scent, of course. :)

OKAY, thats enough. This real time stuff is freaking me out. Time to go home. Have a good one.

[TX]

There are two types of "J-Girls". Those who 1) speak English reasonably well and 2)have been out of Japan for an appreciable amount of time, and those who have not been abroad and have had little exposure to foreign cultures.

I think the division is that clean and that simple. Japanese culture does not engourage women to express themselves. When they realize what's out there, they want a piece of it. When they learn enough English to actually get out there and interact meaningfully with other people (not just native speakers), their world view changes - and once that happens, you can never go home again.

For what it's worth, I've dated both. I like the kind who think for themselves.

To Travis Smith:

"Yes I have dated Japanese women, I can say that most of them are quite shallow.
They're only interested in money, looks, prestige and the future possibility that they can go over to the US for a new life. Hell I even had one tell me before our date that her goal was to marry an American so that she could move to the US."

I think many (not all) women are motivated by vanity. Think about it. Men get rich so they can sleep with beautiful women. Women try to make themselves beautiful so they can attract the best men (i.e., the richest - or the sexiest when they're ovulating). It's a cliche as old as time. That's why they call it the "oldest profession."

To Japanese Cutie:

"so if anyone is interested in dating me (lol), I am accepting applications. ;) open-minded, unpredictable, fun-loving, spontaneous girl with petite, feminin looks. INFJ, with post-grad education, and a little bit of an exhibitionist. talented in arts and music, and can tell good/evel in people. used to be a sprinter. love traveling, going out, dancinc, meeting new people and trying new things."

Put your money where mouth is... (double lol!!).

[Frungy]

That's a rather cynical way to look at it. I would have said that women look for stability that men used to provide. A good job, would be a good father. Many women work nowadays, but the stability issue is still there. Some men look for trophy wives, some men look for women who know how to cook and clean and raise children, some men look for women who are aggressive and have their own goals and pursuits (these groups are not mutually exclusive). We've come a long way from the age of physical attractiveness. Of course those elements are still there, but I think you've oversimplified it.

[westsan]

"They dont require anything in return except consideration for who they are as a person."

What about the ones that start stalking you?

I meant in a MATERIAL sense.
What you have there is either infatuation or internalization.

[Hi]

To JAPANESECUTIE. Im confident I can beat you in a running race. If I lose then I will take an "application" form so I can apply for a date. If I win..........

[Jackie Treehorn]

Damn, "Hi" you are so smooth......how do you do it?

For a good night out to your local gaijin-bar and listen to the pick-up lines guys use on the natives.....you will fall out of your seat laughing!


Jackie Treehorn

[fromsandiego]

Konnichiwa! I'm a single, fun loving, and good looking guy from San Diego who would like to respond to JapanesCutie add. Where should I submit my resume?

ok bye! ^_^