View Full Version : signs
People seem to be suggesting that many J-girls go out with foreign guys just because they are foreign, which is good in ways because it is an extra good quality which you wouldn't have when looking for girls in your own country. However, if you want a serious relationship, it's not great to have its foundations based on your nationality.
I have a J-girlfriend and I think we have a very good relationship. However, since reading some posts on this forum, I have become a little concerned that maybe she is only going out with me because I am a foreigner. When I started going out with her I knew she loved England, but it never occured to me that this would be the only reason why she would want to go out with me.
Are there any ways to tell whether or not a J-girl is just another run off mill gaijin hunter?
2004-07-20, 08:03 PM
So what attracted you to her in the first place....her wonderfully warm personality?
2004-07-20, 08:12 PM
Now Now Mandom, the man is being serious anmd thoughtful ;) Behave not you will as Charisma Man's Arch Enemy, says KuroYoda
I think that a lot of the people that write in with those problems are the ones that have or tend to have the problems. The ones who don't have such problems probably aren't writing in (or reading in) at all. It is a problem of the representativeness of the opinions expressed here.
There is no shortage of Gaijin Groupies here. On the other hand, neither is there a shortage of sweet, sincere, loving woman who will take you for what you are (in my case, a well educated idiot with truly startling blue eyes). The Foreign Factor is usually part of the attraction. Like you say, that bodes well on them, considering the attitude some women of some countries have to Foreigners. Can you say that her Exotic-ness had nothing to do with your attraction to her? Just becasue they find that exciting doesn't mean they are cynical gold diggers, or pie in the sky exotic romantics.
You say things are good. Maybe she likes ya man!!??? Hell, I like ya (not in that way, though, and will swear to same in court).
Go with your gut, and keep your eyes open.
2004-07-20, 08:37 PM
Can you say that her Exotic-ness had nothing to do with your attraction to her?
Or her wonderfully warm personality...KJ loves splitting hairs doesn't she (meeow).
2004-07-20, 08:50 PM
Have you ever read the book The emporer's new clothes?
It pays not to heed to much of what you hear, especially from people you can't even see.
Perhaps the most fundamental thing is to work through the process yourself. I started by asking a question to make you think about what attraction means. Unfortunately, Kurogane seems to have misinterpreted that.
Also, I don't know enough about your situation to give out advice which could be potentially misleading or harmful to you.
Usually we can find the answers ourselves. Talk with your girlfriend about your worries, ask her how she feels. If it is a serious relationship , then you should be both clear about what each other wants in terms of the future.
2004-07-20, 09:03 PM
Sorry sweetness. Good advice
2004-07-20, 11:46 PM
well is she went for you maybe she liked you. I think that is mostly the situation with j-girls when they take up with a foreigner. More than likely she was attracted to you as a man. A lot of the complainers are mainly the reason for the problems they are having. This women are the same as women from anywhere, Most of the Gaijin Groupis are hanging out in the Roppongi bars.
2004-07-20, 11:59 PM
More than likely she was attracted to you as a man
...is this the return of Mangina....oooh, the summer heat is frying my brain.
2004-07-21, 08:36 AM
Does she want to live in another country? If you think she's just using you as a passport to England, you could always say "oh I just love Japan, I'm gonna stay here forever!" See if she flips out (or if you're lucky, she'll flip over, like Sincity's squeeze)
2004-07-22, 12:34 PM
Sincity has a squeeze?????????????????????
Will wonders never cease?????