Age differences

[Sora No Yume]

I am 45 year woman and my fiance is 21 yrs. How will Japanese react to age difference? Is it acceptable or is it looked down upon?

Thank you.

[kurogane]

Are either of you Japanese? If not, raised eyebrows are about the limit, except for the same generic boors you might meet at home. If so, the famous native reticence and politeness can break down a bit, esp. where alcohol is flowing, but not much more than at home.

I have noticed a lot of J-women our agish dating younger men, esp. younger foreign men. I often date younger women, more because thats who I tend to meet, so, if its good for the goose.................................
:)

[Morning Star]

It, of course, depends mostly on your families. As for the Japanese, I see old guys with younger women, old women with younger guys, etc,... I go out with a woman 8 years my senior, I know people with a 13 year age difference and going out in public has never caused any friction. If anything, I think they would congratulate you.

The big question is whether he'll be comforting you during your hip replacement or receiving comfort from your hot young nurses. That reminds me of a Ron Jeremy...uh, nevermind.

[kurogane]

NEVERMIND. Read the rules: No references to Ron Jeremy.
Tee Hee. ;)

I agree with your points, though, MS. I think most people wouldn't care either way, and those that might are usually too polite or wise to stick their nose in. And a lot of us think it is good.

[tee]

I don't think the young Japanese would mind. I have a couple of friends (aged 26 something) who dated boys (aged 20 below)... The women were quite proud of their boyfriends. Their family's reactions are a different story though.

[Sora No Yume]

Interesting. So very much different from the US.

I am half japanese, and he is caucasian.

I think it will be nice to be accepted for a change instead. I am looking forward to it!!

[Morning Star]

People in Japan are usually hardcore sexual deviants, so having a relationship that spans over 2 decades is nothing shocking at all.

Sora-chan, you're moving to Japan or coming for a visit? Who gives you problems in the US about your age difference and in what way? I'm really intrigued by your situation now, and I'm not wise or polite enough not to stick my nose in.

[kurogane]

You may be subject to some mild censure, as a member of The Tribe, but not in an aggressive way, and not by anyone you would probably want to have much dealings with anyway. If he is caucasian, they will think he looks fifty anyway, so no problems there. ;)

I was told the other day that I looked 65, but seemed young, so I must only be 55. If I didn't have a fairly realistic confidence in my physical appearance, I think I might have gone home and capped myself.

ps: to foreigners, I am a young looking 41

[Dr.Drew]

Sora, is your real name Demi Moore? Just wondering... ;)

[Sora No Yume]

No no .... no Demi Moore here....haha

Our relationship is undescriblable....it may sound corny but here goes.....

We complete each other........

[Morning Star]

Show me the Money!!!

[Guy Ginpot]

Frank Booth [Dennis Hopper] in Blue Velvet: “Mommy, mommy, mommy!!!”

Now that I’ve made a fool of myself as the Ginpot calling the kettle black, I’ll confess: I’m older than you, Sora. I’m a geezerly 50 year old. My girlfriend is almost 29. She is Japanese. I am not.

The only issue that I can think of between her and I, is her parents. I’ve never met them, never been to Japan. We were together for a little over one year, most of that time living together. Due to visa − immigration − money concerns, she had to go back to Japan for a while. When she came back to visit a couple of months later, she told me that she told her parents about me. Mommy furrreeeeeked!!! She said that her father didn’t say much, but I imagine him silently honing the family sword. Her mom is my age − old bag.

The oh so Japanese thing here… I asked my girlfriend, “Do they know that I’m old and poor?” And no, they don’t, she said, only that I’m evil gaijin.

This is the biggest concern that I have. I don’t want to be the villain , but as the senior partner, there are some responsibilities. Just exactly what they are isn’t totally clear to me. However, I’m the father of a 19 year old daughter, and I would be devastated if she ran off and left the country with some gaijin prick that I didn’t know. The difference here is that I wouldn’t freak out before meeting somebody that I didn’t know. I acknowledge that there is a difference in our cultures, but my god, I can’t ever remember having any parent having anything to do with anything more than socialising in the +30 years that I’ve been getting into trouble with girlfriends.

Now she is back in Japan. We are in constant contact but I haven’t seen her for 6 months and it will be another 2 before I have a 2 week visit. Fookin economics. I asked her just last week about how to handle the parent problem. She said that it is impossible to talk to her parents about it. Her solution is to do all the work necessary to emigrate and just before she leaves, she will call them and say goodbye. Yikes! I do not like this solution. I’m sure that if I could talk to them… and show them how well I can count… and that I want a drink… and that I want to go to bed….how do you spell futility? [oh there, I’ve done it]

Okay, I’ve blathered on enough, sorry. Just one guy’s take on an age-difference relationship. In a pinch: If you are both consenting adults and you dig each other, then ____ ‘em all. Bigger towns generally mean smaller hassles. Otherwise, keep your sense of humour, and continue to love your man. Thanks for listening.

Best of luck

GG

[kurogane]

Sora,
Nice. Corn is good when it makes ya feel warm and squishy.

Guy Ginpot,

Sounds rough. But, lots of Japanese I know are in similar situations. Esp. now that middle aged divorce rates are on the rise. If she's worth it, tough it out. Keep your head down, your tongue tied, and wait for the storm to pass. Perseverance will show them that you are serious, and not just skiving around for a young totty (I am not she is that, BTW)

Ganbare ya

[buds]

half-japanese? just ask the parents?

[Morning Star]

I asked my girlfriend what Japanese thought of inter-generational relationships, especially those between older females and males. She said they really thought nothing of it, and that it was a good thing that works out well for both people involved. When I asked her to go on, she said, "The older woman gets to go out with a young guy who, likewise, makes her feel younger. And the young guy gets a lot of free stuff."

very wise

[kurogane]

FREE STUFF????????????

Anyone know where the fountain of youth is?

[Sora No Yume]

Free Stuff?? Thats a new concept!! Thanks for making me laugh!!

I found the Fountain of Youth.....I will share with you.....but it will cost you.......hahaha

[imTony]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Maybe I wont have to be a poor student afterall! BWAHAHAHAHA

I never considered enjo kosai before...

sorry, I'm a bit drunk.

[Sora No Yume]

We get it all the time....so you're not funny......

[imTony]

You are right, the plan is flawed.

[Morning Star]

The plan is genious, perhaps the person is flawed

[imTony]

Ouch, my heart is wounded.

I was only kidding anyway, honest...

[Morning Star]

Tony;

You should give it some serious thought. You can learn a lot from a mature woman in a relationship. Not only will she take good care of you like she was your mom, she'll also let you benefit from her years of sexual experience. 一石二鳥, so to speak. Do they have an expression in Japanese for, "the older the berry, the sweeter the juice?"

Sorry to get off your topic, Sora, but imTony sounds like a soul that needs to find the truth. And by truth I mean an older woman.

[Ageless]

Hi,
My mother is older then my father-1 year
my brother`s wife is older than my brother-9 years
my other brother`s wife is older than him-5 years

Funny, huh...the women are all older than the men.

Their relationships are healthy and thriving, I wouldn`t worry about the age factor as personalities and the works can be similar despite age differences. If the relationship is healthy then age is not important. You can overcome other people`s perceptions, it may just take a while to see that you are right for each other. In Japanese society, age is a factor but times are changing, and so are attitudes.

Good luck to you both,
Peace.

[imTony]

Well, I was only joking about the prostituting myself for presents thing (that's my story at least.) But I actually wouldn't mind being with someone who was older than me. I guess I really don't care about age.

[kurogane]

Sora,
Thanks for the offer, but me no 3P. Too much busyness in one room.

It just occureed to me that my dirty mind may have misunderstood your metaphor. Please advise.
;)

[Sora No Yume]

oh my....yes, you definitely misunderstood.

wow!! lol!!

[kurogane]

Tee Hee. More than half of the misunderstanding was on purpose. Kurogane have dirty mind.

Night all.

[shokutaku]

Sora

I think if you want to find out how Japanese people will react to your age difference maybe as one idea is to go on the TV program Kisuya (Kansai only?)

They tend to have some "varied" couples on there and sometimes are quite an education. Of course the program is in Japanese.

Do you at 45 have any children? Do you have any children the age of your fiance, or possibly older? If you do, how would you feel if a son of yours came home and said mum, this is my fiance, you may remember her from high school, you were in the same class.

If you feel comfortable with this possible scenario, then no worries I say. Go for gold. If it's okay for GG and many other older men dating younger women here, why should it be different just because the genders are reversed?

All the best in your future together.

I personally would feel a little weird with a 57 year old women, but that's just me. (just being honest)

shokutaku aged 33

[Sora No Yume]

Thank you but I will pass on the Japanese t.v. show...don't really want to be someone's entertainment....the show sounds like Jerry Springer Show in America.

Yes, I do have children....daughter 22 and son 18, and my baby girl 10 yr My older two are away at University. Both of them are very accepting of the situation. My son and my fiance are cool with each other. My son has expressed that has long as we're happy, who cares what the world thinks....his words...."F" em all. My 10 year old adores him.....


As far as if my son were to be in my situation? Yes, it would be hard perhaps initially, but if the woman were as I, adoring and caring for him as I am....then I don't see anything to do but accept my son's decision and be there for him. My son and I are very close and I don't think anything or anybody would interfere with our relationship.

I understand about how you would feel "wierd"...... trust me....its not like I woke up one morning and decided upon this relationship.....they do say....love is blind....and our hearts lead us beyond our wildest imagination.

Everyday is an adventure for me.....I wouldn't trade what I feel right now for all the riches of the world......For the first time in my life....I really know what it is to feel......

Love to all of you for your kindest, funniest.....and caring thoughts....thank you.

[pepper]

This whole thread makes me smile.

[Morning Star]

Pepper - a very pithy and inviting comment. I wonder if you're smiling with delight that somebody besides you thought up a racy topic, or smiling with rage that somebody besides you thought up this racy topic.
Any opinions/experience on robbing the cradle, so to speak?

-->Everyday is an adventure for me.....I wouldn't trade what I feel right now for all the riches of the world......For the first time in my life....I really know what it is to feel...... <--

And probably the last time, good luck Sora.

[Guy Ginpot]

Once upon a time
when I was just a young squirt
I came to know an older woman
who had been around the block
I showed her the rope
she showed me the ropes

Her teachings were thorough
her regime rigorous

Through the practise of repetition
although I came
to find my own way
around the block
I have since suffered
from chronic dehydration

[kurogane]

Isn't that a Rod Stewart song?

[pepper]

Pepper - a very pithy and inviting comment. I wonder if you're smiling with delight that somebody besides you thought up a racy topic, or smiling with rage that somebody besides you thought up this racy topic.
Any opinions/experience on robbing the cradle, so to speak?

-->Everyday is an adventure for me.....I wouldn't trade what I feel right now for all the riches of the world......For the first time in my life....I really know what it is to feel...... <--

And probably the last time, good luck Sora.

MorningStar, I'm in my thirties and I like younger guys, although 23 is about my absolute lower limit. So to hear about Sora's happiness makes me happy. That's all.

[Guy Ginpot]

we like happy. happy=happy.

kurogane

You hit that right on. I almost forgot, It was so long ago, but as the sordid affair plunged toward the depths of depravity, the song 'Maggie May' used to rattle round and round in my fragile skull.

I would like to point out, that the only similarity between that relationship and what I have gleaned from the snippets of the ones that have been described on this post, was that my partner was older than me. She was totally incapable of raising children or conducting herself in a manner that could be construed as 'civilised', or for that matter 'half-decent'.

I merely threw together the previous post because I am silly.

gg

[Maki`s Mum]

As a friend of Rodney Witchelow, spokesman for the international paedophile spokesman group "millitpede" I can say that there is nothing wrong with inter-generational sex.
A child`s bottom is much like that of a man`s...just with less hair, sweat and debris.
If your fiance is only 12, so what ? If he is destined for great things and if you two complement each other then there is not a problem as far as I can see.
Does he know your age ?
And why do you think anyone would have noticed him in Shinjuku station ?
It`s not like there are enough people with long black hair.
I say ignore anyone who criticizes you. If he`s young enough to be you son, just lie back and enjoy the fun. I am sure he`ll enjoy your maternal guidance and you of course his pelvic vibrance.

[sincity]

I don't think anyone on this forum has ever ended a post with consecutive rhyming couplets. Bravo! You've been coveting an invitation to my BBQ party and now you have it. My friend has promised to bring 4-5 of her girlfriends, one of whom is an ex-model who is sure to bring her little dog (which may not actually be a good thing). I reckon I'll be at least 10 years older than the combined ages of 2-3 girls.

[Maki`s Mum]

Hope there will be a lot of fresh meat for me to get my chops into.
Do you ever get that farting noise when you take your meat out of the fridge ?

[Guy Ginpot]

Maki’s Mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

Oh my goodness!!!… Oh my!!!.. Wash your mouth out with soap!!!… Oh my lord!!!…

Air!!!!! I need air… It’s so warm… I can’t breath… Oh lordy lordy!!!

I never could have dreamed that it would come to this!

There's only one thing to do................

[kurogane]

GG,

She's pretty hot, and she talks dirty. Kurogane getting peckish for a Mummy Maki.

[koizumi]

Hope there will be a lot of fresh meat for me to get my chops into.
Do you ever get that farting noise when you take your meat out of the fridge ?

I can't here the noise over the "IKU!!!! IKU!!!"

For those of you who have read the "Should I get married?" thread, please, let me enjoy my fantasy.

[Guy Ginpot]

Well then, soon after turning into an old woman after reading the posts from Maki's Mum, I started a new thread, calling for Alex Wills himself, to exorcise the 'Devil in Maki's Mum'.

The gaijin pot heads chose to quickly terminate the post. My tiny paranoid mind is now on the run. What are the pot heads up to? Are they targeting me? Is Maki's Mum a pot head?

God knows I've been, but that's another story. Eye yam sore worried about Maki's Mum. 'Meat in the fridge'? What's next? Felching?

gg

[Bluedog]

Sir Guy and Koizumi banned for life in 3...2...1...

By the way, if Maki's mum is not really the girl in the photo, you're kind of on thin ice there using some surfer chick's photo. This, of course, coming from a guy with a dog costume for a photo, but nobody would accuse me of cyberstalkiing the dog.

[kurogane]

First Things First,

AWARDS AND KUDOS to Guy Ginpot, as the first poster to use the word Felching in a thread. No graphic description of the term will be necessary. Does Richard Gere _____?

BD,
AM I on thin ice using a Tarepanda brake handle cover as my photo?

Everybody,
Maki' Mum is a pseudonym for for a regular. I can't remember who it reminds me of. Could it be the guy who got caught banging his GF in her parent's house. It was right after that that she appeared. Not that I'm complaining. She make Kurogane smack lips for Mummy Maki.
Rooll it, and squeeze it, and dip it in spicy soy sauce, then...........................................

[Guy Ginpot]

This might make an interesting thread, kurogane, why don't you give 'er a crack?

One day, I'm set on wiping this place clean, the next I'm peering into the evil brown eye of the beast. Peering only. Honest.

I've had my suspicions about Gere, but after the recent Hollowwood remake of a perfectly sweet Japanese movie called 'Shall We Dance', I'm virtually certain. This is the schlock typical of the greed machine, featuring the heads of Gere and J-Lo hahahahaha airbrushed on to the bodies of the original actors. I did see the trailer, but neither my dime nor my time will be wasted on 'Shallow We Dance', in Gere's case, 'Swallow We Dance'.

As for Maki's Mum, as a life long believer in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, live Elvis, and the Whole e-Ghost, I have no reason to believe that Maki's Mum is none other than Maki's Mum. She could have remained anonymous, but no, she chose to fight the good fight to reclaim the honour and virginity that her blameless daughter possessed before the savage onslaught of the gaijin sex beast and his plastic covered bratwurst.

And being a good mum, she knows all about keeping your meat in the fridge.

Just clean up your wrappers when you're done.

gg

[kurogane]

You make me go Hee Hee. Have a good weekend, GG.

[Guy Ginpot]

Hey kurogane

I just noticed the odd-ometer. No longer merely 'Sensei', now 'Grand mastur... in the pot? Hey man, you might be worthy of a load of respect, but not in the pot maaaaan, Please?

Kinda like sincity. You're a 1000 mission man.

Chimo

gg

[imTony]

Hey - yeah.

Congrats on the promotion!

[madmaxxam]

So does the promotion come when you have so many posts that we don't care to count any more? Congrats Kurogane, and I wish I could get a hold of some of that 'master pot' here in Japan.

[kurogane]

Thanks guys. I just noticed it myself when GuyG pointed it out.

"All kneel before Zod"!

GG gets a bevy of Pocky Girls. The rest of you shall be treated to some of my lifetime supply of free Master Pot just as soon as these Puritanical drunks legalise that lovely lubricant of the mind.

KUROGANE IS MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tee Hee.

[imTony]

Funny, the Puritans never even had anything to do with Japan.

From my own experience, I can say that I HATE marijuana. However, it doesn't bother me if my neighbor smokes a bit to relax.

[kurogane]

That's all I'm asking for big guy, a little tolerance. Wouldn't dream of forcing it on anyone, whether it be booze, weed, or full body black rubber Catgirl outfits.

Instead, you shall receive Max Pocky. And some of Bluedog's, as well.

AND, didn't you know that Oliver Cromwell was actually an escaped Samurai. That's why he had everyone wearing funny hats, to remind him of the haircuts.

Or some such lame ****.