stupid riddles

[yakkyyak]

Following Bugboys theme of stupid stuff you can find on the net, here are some of my favorite stupid riddles. See how many of them you know and feel free to add your own!

PS-I'm at work and I'm bored. No other reason for posting this.


1) If a plane crashed on the border of the United States and Canada, where would you bury the survivors?

2) How far can a dog run into the woods?

3) If it takes 1 person 1 hour to dig 1 hole, how long would it take 1 person to dig half a hole?

4) What is greater than God, came before God, is more evil than the Devil, hotter than the Sun, and if you eat it you will die?

Answers soon!

[Bugboy]

.......I know one:

Question: who never mind having his sentence interrupted?

answer soon...


...may i take a guess at your riddle yakkyyak?

1) Neither, they would be burried wherever these people were born.

2) as far as he wants or as far as the wood goes for!

3) half an hour

4) Santa??

[Glenski]

You don't bury survivors.
Halfway, then he's running out of the woods.
You can't dig half a hole.

[Bluedog]

Here's one I like (unless you've heard it before, it's old and was in the movie Labyrinth):

You want to go to the castle. There are two doors, one leading to the castle and another leading to hell or something. Each door has a guardian and one of the guardians always lies and one always tells the truth. You don't know which is which. You are only allowed to ask one question and you can ask either guardian, but not both.

How do you determine which door leads to the castle using only one question?

[Bluedog]

Ah Hell. Glenski's let the cat out of the bag.

So then, the answer to number 4 is "nothing"

[Bugboy]

that would teach me!!! i should have read better!! or perhaps be less stupid!!! ha ha ha! (my excuse....Mmmuuh...I had a long day OK!?)

nobody got mine??

[Bugboy]

Answer: A convict

[Bluedog]

Bugboy, I didn't realise that it was a real riddle... I thought you were referring to someone on this forum ; )

[yakkyyak]

Wow-you guys are sharp. And I thought it was only me that had his head full of stuff like that.

In the future, you'll see me on TV. "I'll take useless trivia for $1000, Alex."

Here's one. What uses 4 legs in childhood, 2 legs in adulthood and 3 legs in old age?

[Castor_NZ]

People.

4 legs for crawling (well two arms and two legs)
2 legs for walking
2 legs plus a cane for walking

[Castor_NZ]

People.

4 legs for crawling (well two arms and two legs)
2 legs for walking
2 legs plus a cane for walking

[Sakugenken]

1. you don't bury survivors
3. you can't did half a hole, a hole is a hole

How about these (also pretty stupid):

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Monday, Thursday, Saturday or any numbers?

6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

[yakkyyak]

2) she shot him with a camera

5) yesterday, today, tomorrow

6) there are no "e"s in the paragraph.

Those ones are good! the other ones have me stumped although im sure ive heard them before! nice work!

oh-it just came to me. 1) the lions. Because if they hadn't eaten in 3 years, they'd be dead!



Post Edited (10-03-03 14:33)

[Bugboy]

1. the room he is currently in
2. she took a photograph then process it!
5. yesterday, today, tomorrow

[Bluedog]

Arrh, I really should be working, not looking at this...

1. The lions 'cause they wouldn't be too genki after 5 years.
4. Coal
6. There is no 'e'

[Bugboy]

what about this:

1)Cleopatra & Ceasar lay dead on the floor of their egyptian villa. There is a broken bowl on the floor. ther is no trace of poison, their bodies aren't injured. They have been dead for 2 hours but nobody has seen them for the last 5 hours. Nobody killed them.

How did they die?

2)A father an his son have just been involved in a terrible accident. The father was killed suddenly. Although, the son is very badly injured, he is alive and the ambulance is able to take him to the nearest hospital.
When the ambulance arrives at the hospital, the boy is rushed to the emergency where the surgeon and his team are waiting. The surgeon takes a look at the boy and say:
"I can not operate on this boy, he is my son!"

what is the relationship between the surgeon and the boy?

[Bluedog]

What I don't like about riddles is there's usually more than one way to answer them and you're supposed to figure out which is the "correct" answer. Here's an alternative answer to the wife shoots husband one, and just as plausible:

She shoots him with a strange yellow liquid from a water pistol then holds him under the shower for 5 minutes to get cleaned up. Then extending the S&M session, she suspends him from the ceiling by a leather thong. 5 minutes later they go out to dinner like a normal couple and complain about the failing morals of today's youth.

Anyone care to offer any alternative answers to the other ones?

[toejam]

How about freeze the two things of water, then put them in the barrel?

I love the smell of Nippon in the morning..

[yakkyyak]

OK!

The surgeon is the boy's father's homosexual life partner.

-or-

The surgeon is Jesus, and after all, isn't everbody considered his son?

-or-

The surgeon believes in re-incarnation, and in his past life, he had a son that had a striking resemblance to the boy that he refused to operate on.

Take you pick!

I guess the correct answer to this one is the surgeon　is the boy's mother. But personally I like my answers better.



Post Edited (10-03-03 15:22)

[toejam]

yakyakyak>

Shogakukan Production?

[yakkyyak]

yeah. please i hope u aren't my boss.

[toejam]

relax, just another grunt. Thought I`d get a bit of a "pep up" at the forums, before the evening ensues.

[Bugboy]

just if anyone care....the answer to the first riddle is:

they were gold fishes!!

[yakkyyak]

Wow! you totally had me fooled, bugboy. But I just blame that on the fact that that was a pretty bad one.

how about this one?

An Arab sheikh is old and must will his fortune to one of his two sons. He makes a proposition. His two sons will ride their camels in a race, and whichever camel crosses the finish line last will win the fortune for its owner. During the race, the two brothers wander aimlessly for days, neither willing to cross the finish line. In desperation, they ask a wise man for advice. He tells them something; then the brothers leap onto the camels and charge toward the finish line. What did the wise man say?

[bshabu]

Heres a riddle in Japanese. ONLY WORKS IN JAPANESE.

私は１０階のマンションに住んでいます。

９階住んでいる人は田中さん。

８階住んでいる人は永井さん。

５，４階ずっと空き部屋です。

さて、私の住んでいる部屋は何がい。

This one stumps alot of Japanese, but if you are studying Japanese you may pickup on it.

Have Fun!

[Coin-Operated-Clown]

The wise man said "switch camels"

Edited to say: oh, it's COAL that is "black when you buy it........."


What can you sleep on, write with, and use to brush your teeth?



Post Edited (10-03-03 20:07)

[jean-genie]

The surgeon is the boy's mother.

A man rides into town on Tuesday and checks into a hotel. He stays for three nights and leaves on the forth morning, Sunday. How can this be?

[Coin-Operated-Clown]

Tuesday is the name of his horse.

Three shops in a row: Green awning/Blue awning/White awning

Which one is the butcher's?

[jean-genie]

The one with the dog outside?

[harvey]

two of my favorites:

1) Two boys are playing in a room. They were born on the same day, in the same year. They have the same mother and the same father. However, they are not twins. Explain. (Very easy in Japanese, few English speakers can answer quickly...)

2) We all know the order of the days of the week. When does Friday come before Thursday, however? (This also works in Japanese with the Japanese equivalents)

Answer to COC's: a bed, a pen and a toothbrush.

[YD]

Answer to bshabu' Japanese riddle:

１０階　(If you take マンション to mean the actual room - It didn't say １０階建て)


Answer to Harvey's riddles:

1) They're two of a set of triplets, quadruplets, septuplets, etc.

2) If you mean "where" does Friday come before Thursday, it's in a dictionary.



He who made it, doesn't want it.

He who bought it, doesn't need it.

He who needs it, doesn't know it.

What is it?

[harvey]

YD: Very good, on both accounts. BTW, the second is answered, "When you look it up in a dictionary."

Answer to YD's: a coffin

[yakkyyak]

I am so impressed! Other people besides me have such trivial information in their heads! Keep it up!

When is a door not a door?

[Bongo]

This is a good test for superintelligence.

What's the next in the sequence:

O, T, T, F, F, S S, ?

[Sakugenken]

E

[Bongo]

Actually, the answer to bshabu's riddle is very easy. The reason it only works in Japanese is because the kanji of がい in the last sentence can mean 階 or 街。

This sounds like a daft riddle, but actually I've seen questions just like this in the JLPT2 and JLPT1 - both interpretations are correct "but one is more correct than the other". They irritate the hell out of me because they're not testing your ability to recognise kanji they're just testing your luck!!!

[Bongo]

*Ding ding ding*

Sakugenken gets a prize.

A logician cycles to the next village on a Sunday afternoon and decides the he needs a haircut. He buys a local paper and asks the newspaper seller if there is a barber in the village. The newspaper seller replies that there are two, one at the top of the street, the other at the bottom of the street.

The logician investigates the one at the top of the street and sees that the shop is shabby, there's hair on the floor, the barber is unkempt and smoking a cigarette, the seats look uncomfortable and there are no customers. He charges 5 forints for a cut and has no customers so can start straight away.

The logician then goes to look at the other barbers at the bottom of the street. The glass is highly polished, the barber looks clean and tidy, the seats look comfortable and the shop has a nearly full appointment book. He also charges 5 forints for a cut and can start straight away.

Which barber does the logician choose, and why?

[harvey]

The barber with the messy hair/place. If the town only has two barbers, you can assume the barber with the neat hair had his cut by the barber with the messy hair, and vice-versa.



Post Edited (10-04-03 09:16)

[bshabu]

Bongo is on the right track with がい　but it isn't 街.

Nice try!

A little spoiler below




try counting for the answer.



Post Edited (10-04-03 09:53)

[harvey]

Back to "When is a door not a door?" Thought about this one for a while and all I could come up with is a pun, "when it's ajar." Is that it?

[yakkyyak]

Nice job, harvey! You nailed it!

another one of similar nature. When is a head not a head?



Post Edited (10-04-03 12:50)

[Bluedog]

What is the probability of having two riddles on the same short thread, one with the answer of "e" and the other with an answer of "there is no e"?

[candy]

brothers and sisters
have i none
but this man's father
is my father's son

who am i?

[Bugboy]

the son and the other man is my child

[Bugboy]

"One day in 1980, Jim said, 'The day before yesterday I was twelve. Next year I will be fifteen."

What was the date when he said this, and what is his date of birth?

[harvey]

when is a head not a head...When it's behind!

[harvey]

What falls but never breaks? What breaks but never falls?

Answer to Bugboy's: The statement was made on January 1, 1980. His birthday is on December 31st. He was twelve the day before yesterday (December 30th). He turned 13 on the 31st. He will be 14 this year (december 31, 1980) and 15 next year (December 31, 1981) So he was born on December 31, 1966,

[YD]

bshabu,

Is the answer 3階, since that is the only floor left that read with がい　as opposed to かい?

If so, that would be a difficult one for Japanese people, but it's also difficult in general because it only works when it is written. I initially thought the がい　was a 変換　error.


I see several theories for Bongo's long one. Is there really only one answer? I also thought it's the shabby barber up at the top, but the reasons were:

1) Hair on the floor - The shabby one has hair on the floor, meaning he's had some customers, the clean guy's store has no mention of hair, but the overall impression is that the store is clean, meaning he may not have had customers all day. You could argue I guess that the clean barber often sweeps, but a busy barbershop shouldn't be completely spotless. This is the weakest argument.

2) Full appointment book - This ties in with the first one, sort of. How can a barber with a full appointment book "start right away?" I guess you can say the current appointment was cancelled, but wouldn't there be people waiting?

3) 5 forints - Both barbers charge the same price. A scummy barber who charges as much as a clean barber must be pretty good. Or conversely, a clean barber who charges the same as a scummy one must be pretty bad.

4)Harvey's "the clean barber must get his hair cut by the shabby one" works too I guess, but he could always go out of town for a haircut. This logician guy did.

I kept thinking the paperboy or the "glass is clean" (what glass?) comment had something to do with it, but I can't really figure it out. Are they red herrings?


YD

I am taken from a mine,

then put inside a wooden case

Yet almost everybody uses me

What am I?

[Bongo]

bshabu, my answer is correct. But you may have a "more correct" answer.

harvey, you get a prize too.

[Coin-Operated-Clown]

Harvey,

night falls but never breaks, day breaks but never falls

Oh! Good work on a bed, a pen, and a toothbrush.

Three shops in a row: Green awning/Blue awning/White awning. Which one is the butcher's?

The one with meat in the window. (jean genie's answer works as well)



Only one 9-letter English word can be wrought from the letters on the top rung of a typewriter. Which word?

[Bongo]

Erm, "typewriter" is a 10 letter word.

[Castor_NZ]

So the answer would be typewrite then? lol

[Coin-Operated-Clown]

Well, yes, if you count the silent "p".

COC

[yakkyyak]

YD

a pencil?

[Bugboy]

QUESTION: what room has no walls, no ceiling and no floor?

[Bugboy]

QUESTION: I fly when I'm born, I lie when I live, and I run when I die

[Bugboy]

Question:

1-He was born in April �A
2-His birthday is in March �A
3-He was born before his father
4-He married his mother �A
5-He died a bachelor

[YD]

Yakkyyak,

You're pretty much right. "Lead in a pencil" is the full answer.


What's the only English word that begins and ends with the same three letters in the same order?

(Not really a riddle, and I'm actually not sure that it's the only one)


YD

[harvey]

answer to bugboy's second one: a snowflake



Post Edited (10-04-03 22:03)

[harvey]

Here's a good grammar riddle I came across many years ago. What word can be repeated five consecutive times (hint, it's not "very") in a sentence and still be gramatically correct?

[harvey]

Bugboy: What room...?

A mushroom??

[harvey]

Bugboy: He was born in...

all I can think of is a Catholic priest with born indicating Baptism (??) and his "birth" in March, "before" meaning "in front of", presided over his mother's (subsequent) marriage and being a priest, was single.

[Bongo]

harvey:

"had"

[Bugboy]

harvey, you're good!! you got them right.

I have some riddles that usually work better on paper but let's try anyway.
(note it might help if you draw it in front of you cause it gets a bit tricky)

QUESTION: 4 men have been sentenced to death penalty. Here is the situation, there is a wall, on the left hand side of the wall there is one man facing toward the wall. on the right hand side there are the three other men facing toward the wall as well. the three men are perfectly inline with each other. each of the four men are wearing a hat. they know that there are only 2 black hats and 2 white hats but nobody knows what color of hat they are wearing. they are not allowed to look anywhere but straight ahead. They can not move nor speak. They have ten minutes before they get shot. if during that time one of the men says which hat he is wearing he saves everybody. After 5 minutes one of the men find out which hat he is wearing! Who and Why?

(note follow the explanation below so that you can reproduce it in front of you assumin that it start from left to right)

(man+ white hat can only see the wall)
(wall)
(man+ black hat can only see the wall)
(man+ white hat can only see one man + wall)
(man+ black hat can only see 2 men + wall)


There is no trick to this you can ask me some question if you need.

the clue sentence is: "it's not about what one know but about one doesn't know"

good luck

[Castor_NZ]

The man with the white hat who can see the wall and another guy, because he knows that if he had the same colour hat as the guy in front of him, the guy behind him would have already saved them.

[yakkyyak]

Can you explain how that "had" riddle works? It's confusing, but I assume it just requires a lot of different punctuation. Plus its too early to think!

[Bugboy]

good job castorNZ, i assume you heard it in NZ!?
I'm out of riddle.....anyone?

[Coin-Operated-Clown]

Yakkyakk,

two boys, Brown and Smith, take a grammar test. Brown scores 100%, Smith 98%. The reason for the slight difference in scoring is that they answered very slightly differently on one question:

Brown, where Smith had had "had had", had had "had had had", "had had had" had had the examiner's prior approval as the more correct answer.

A similar one involves two sign writers who are painting a sign for the "Pig and Whistle". When the apprentice finishes it, he asks the master signwirter what he thinks:

"Well, it's okay, but I think you should have left more space between 'Pig' and 'and' and 'and' and 'Whistle'."

[harvey]

Bongo: Sorry, it isn't "had" (hint, it isn't a verb). I do like COC's a lot, though...

Sorry guys (and gals), can't play today. Wife just had a baby...



Post Edited (10-05-03 21:19)

[James Clavell]

Let`s see if anyone can get this one. Some guy showed me this one in the bar one time and I thought it was pretty clever for someone so inebriated.

Make this equation true. 101010=950

You may use one of the following: / - _

In order to not be misleading, pretend this equation has been written instead of typed.

[Bluedog]

Put the slash over the equals sign, thus making it read:

101010 "does not equal" 950

[Kent Brockman]

ooh,ooh, I know this one, the elk's droppings were no longer on the cabin floor because "baba" has no E's and the woman's raving-mad husband had mistakenly eaten the droppings IN YOUR FACE YAKYAK, BROCKMAN RULZ!!!!!!!!

[yakkyyak]

Used left or right, I get to travel,
Over cobblestone or gravel.
Used up, I vie for sweet success,
Used down, I cause men great duress.

What am I?


When you need me you throw me away
But when you don't you go and fetch

What am I?


Thanks for the explanation, COC. I knew it had to be something like that.

Kent... ELK?? DROPPINGS?? What are you talking about? Please tell me what you are on, and tell me where you got it or give me some.

[Bluedog]

"ELK?? DROPPINGS??"

Ah, the famous troboluscus ergot, a psychedelic fungus that grows only on elk droppings. Similar in structure to LSD, minus a few benzene rings.

This would explain where KB gets his creativity from.

[the dude]

Kent Brockman,

What a tosser. Tards like you make people think that all gaijin are losers.

[Kent Brockman]

Thanks "dude"!

..the ol' "winner/loser" paradigm... is this where I'm supposed to justify myself as a "winner"? Well, if "thedude" is a "winner"... ahh, f__k it, you can see where this is going...

...Nick Cave's streets continue to "groan with little Caesars, Napoleons and c_nts with their building blocks and their tiny plastic phones..."


Back to the riddles.

"Opposable thumbs" and "Californian plankton"

[Bluedog]

"When you need me you throw me away
But when you don't you go and fetch"

Probably not the normal answer, but a boomerang would fit this riddle. You throw it to hit a kangeroo, when you need to use it (to eat). It usually comes back unless it hits something and if it hits, you don't need it anymore but must go and fetch it.

The thumbs one was good too.

[EW]

I could be wrong, but the boomerang designed for hunting was much heavier than the ones you play with - and they apparantly did not come back.

Any Abo's out there that can clear this up? Or an Aussie?

But as far as the riddle is concerned, it sounds like a good answer. Though I suspect the poster had another answer in mind.

[Bluedog]

Yeah, you're right. Those big axe shaped ones were for the kangaroos, but I think that they used the little ones to hit birds and small children with.

[yakkyyak]

actually, bluedog, you nailed the answer right on! the answer is boomerang. I'm not quite sure about the small children part though-didn't the crocodile hunter use his bare hands to catch those?

[markosonlines]

and whitefellas too, eh budd??