Japanese Guys????????? [Archive]

person

2004-09-28, 10:56 PM

Been out with many...perhaps too many? They are just as diverse, charming, annoying, loveable, disgusting, intelligent, stimulating (intellectually and otherwise), boring, etc. as their "gaijin" counterparts. No sweeping statements can be made about Japanese boys...just like one couldn't say something about foreign men that encompasses them all (and dare I try).

There are definitely things on this forum specifically about Japanese men (I'm too tired to do a search for you though). I will say, though, most of the Japanese boys (men) I've dated have been more...Westernized than usual. I trust a lot of this has to do with the fact that my Japanese is equivalent to that of an advanced 2-year-old (well...maybe slightly better...on a good day).

Some Japanese men will love you...others won't have anything to do with you (they are scared, disinterested, etc.). No worries though - I trust some foreign men will love you...others won't have anything to do with you (same reasons as above).

I imagine this helps very little...so I guess my work is done...at least for now. Time for bed. Oyasumi -

madmaxxam

2004-09-28, 11:22 PM

Well, one thing that I've learned through my girlfriend (and whenever she's talking to her friends, etc.) is that many of the Japanese men seem to be very possesive/jealous. Mind you, this isn't a huge sample size, but a lot of the guys won't let their girlfriends go to parties if they're will be guys there, etc. It's not statistically significant though.

kazuwazu

2004-10-01, 02:06 AM

hello
well, i am japanese male but have been living outside my homeland for 9 years.
i have had only one japanese girlfriend in my 26years of life-experience. and all the rest of girls i dated are all non asian.

i don't especially care which race or color the girl has. neither religion nor culture.
what matters is of course more like personality, language (understanding each other), and ,,,,,looking,

if i had a opportunity, i would have loved to date a black girl or other asian girls, i just didn't have chance, and my poor experience goes all based on relationships with white girls.

all my japanese friends think i am white-girl fetish, which is not true at all.

generally speaking asian guys, especially japanese guys have really strong complex about their body, and have super-negative self-consciousness.
watching, and listening imported movies, music all the time. subliminaly taught the facts that copying clothes that black/white guys wear is only way to be cool, following their culture is only way to express our sensitivity originality.
and also we are taught to believe that asian guys are ugly, flat-face short-leg big-head non-mannered yellow monkeys.........

ok. shortly, we believe that our dicks never satisfy white/black girls.....
sorry, maybe too direct....

this kind of misunderstandings can't be fixed easily.
only way to know the fact that asian guys can be attractive if "YOU" are attractive, is to date non-asian cuties and make them shout "you are the far best i've seen!!"

since i stepped out of japan, i've been focusing on one thing to be (attractive) man as much as i can be. "to be japanese",,,. not "acting like white/black".
this way, so far, i think it works dramatically.
girls get attracted by guys who have originality, and self-dignity. originality is to have "origin"
japanese guys potentially have one of the strongest originality among all the guys from all over the world.
american, europian guys, if you track back 3 or 4 generations, they are someone else. we have been japanese for 2-3ks of years.

___ guys, stand up, we cen be attractive!!

if you wanna have non-asian girl friend, GO for it, JUMP on her!!
if she is not interested in YOU, it's YOUR problem. not color or size!!

wonderful

2004-10-01, 10:13 AM

OMG, I didn't think Japanese guys thought that way about themselves. well not all i'm sure but its nice to here a Japanese male point of view. I always here others opinion of them but not their own. Kazuwazu your right. Japanese guys are attractive and you keep telling them that.

Da Gster

2004-10-01, 12:10 PM

madmaxxam

2004-10-01, 12:49 PM

Kazuwazu
Its great to finally get a Japanese perspective on this forum. But I do see disadvantages with being too Japanese. In fact I know 2 girls who were married to Japanese men and had children but then divorced. Their reasons were the same. Their husband expected them to do everything in the house. Most western women hate that.
Tell me, do you also expect this of a girlfriend?

I'm not Kazuwazu, but let's be honest:
He's admitted that he thinks differently than many of the Japanese guys that he knows, so even if he says no, that's still not really representative of other Japanese guys. In fact, most Japanese who I've met that have spent a significant time overseas changed dramatically during their time abroad, and are often much different than those who have never really left Japan.

and Wonderful:
It's obvious that you just have a j-guy fetish, which is fine. Let's be honest though, people are people, and everyone is different. There's no use in making generalizations such as 'all Japanese guys are great, hot, whatever.' And I'm sure that there are plenty of them out there without ego problems. Of course, it's usually the gusy with the least ego problems that you want to stay away from, since they generally turn out to be players and are likely to cheat on you, or brag about 'conquests'.

madmaxxam

2004-10-01, 12:59 PM

girls get attracted by guys who have originality, and self-dignity. originality is to have "origin"
japanese guys potentially have one of the strongest originality among all the guys from all over the world.

Nothing against you Kazuwazu, but I have to take issue with this statement. Originality is not to have an 'origin' in the sense that you have a culture 2-3 thousand years old (and I'm Jewish, so my 5k years blows that away). Being original implies being different, forging new paths, standing out from others around you, etc. Someone who created a new culture 1 minute ago is more original than either of us (assuming he didn't cop it from some other culture).

That being said, a lot of women that I have met go for a mold, not originality. Look at wonderful for example (no offense intended, you like what you like, and that's fine). She likes Japanese people because they fit a certain mold. She might not say so, but if you're looking for originality, you can't look at groups of people, only individuals. Rarely happens. Even people who are trying to stand out. Take Goths for example. In 'standing out' they just fit another mold, and any goth today is completely unoriginal, yet the goth chicks will dig the goth guys, etc.

Some girls will go after a guy who they perceive as caring, funny, rich, stable, athletic, or any number of important adjectives. Most women would not use the word different, or original, and those that do say they date a guy because he's original, could probably describe important characteristics of how that person is original. Anyway, sorry for that tangent, I just had to get that out.

As for the self-dignity, that is very important for guys. Someone should tell that to all the Charisma men in Japan (who don't get women because they are original or different, but because of general misconceptions that Japanese women often have about foreigners.)

kazuwazu

2004-10-01, 02:04 PM

hey, thanks for your reactions.

first of all, i have to say that i'm not representing japanese guys, i'm just saying my opinions here. so plz don't misunderstand that my words reflect others' voice too.

i answer a bit more

re:wonderful
i think the biggest difference i feel between me(and some other guys who satyed abroad for long) and normal ___ guys is that i'm very proud of being japanese, i love our traditions, i love our potential mentality,,,,,,,it's something you can see more easily when you look at japan from outside japan.
i don't say anything against importing foreign (western) culture and mixing them to japanese our own perspective, but today's kids are becoming more like latin american natives when spanish, portuguese conquerors arrived,,,, taking vows into this wave of "what's cool", "what's new", "new=cool"......
it's not happening only in japan though. the expansion of black-hip-hop culture is huge in france, ___ culture in china and korea are same.
i just watched "the last Samurai" the other day, i know Samurai guys are a lot beautified in this film, but for sure what they tried to defend japan from foreign power was real meaning of "our identity".
keeping own identity is 100times harder than losing it.
i personaly focus on what kind of (japanese) man i can be, and how to show it to people i meet outside japan, in that way i have more or less have this feeling of representing japan though. BUT i don't really care how japanese guys are viewed by others, people who know me, know me, they qualify me as me. i'm happy with it.

kazuwazu

2004-10-01, 02:41 PM

re: DaGster: about your opinion, i totally agree with you. japanese husbands really expect their wives to be at home do everything domestic. it's very strong tradition we have. i mean all asian culture is same.
i have lived with several white girls, and i'm a person who does everything myself. i cook(i hate eating outside) all the time, i wash, i clean, only one thing i hate to do in the house is laundry stuff.
when i show to the girl that i do domestic work well, it doesn't take time to make this girl being like old japanese guy. i keep cleaning the house for 2 months and if one day the room is dirty, she'd say "hey!!" , i go "hey what?", she is like "room's messy", i answer "why don't you do it for once?"
so it's kind of vice versa.
i know bunch of european guys who never do house work, who never pay attention to their kids' development.
and look at this fact. more than 70% of european family put their kids into day-care facility before the baby becomes 6 months old.
and half of them start at 3-4 months old
3month-old baby goes to school!!!!!
it's UNBELIEBABLE for asian people.

and look at this fact: devortion rate of french couples today 67%. japan is still under 10%

i do know japanese couples, family have huge problems that have ____ed up today's society, but as far as i have seen, the ammount of domestic issues european people have is still a lot bigger than asian's.

so i don't think it's not clever idea to say ___ guys are evil in one word.

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re:madmaxxam

yeah you are right. Originality doesn't go just by how many years of history your family has.
i didn't mean that.
what i said is that your originality as yourself depends on how you have lived, how much you think in daily life, how many people you have met, ,,,,this directly connects to one's charm, attraction, personality.
your originality as being japanese, american, european is another topic.
there is something you can't ignore in you that goes deep inside your history , in one word nationality. which is your originality too.
although there are a lot of stereo-type prejudices on each nationality, it's 100% sure that there are common personality, sense of value, the way you think, if you have same nationality.

and i think, the deeper history you have in your family, the more you have things that you can't change, things you can be proud to have from your great(X100)grandpa.
and what i said last time is that we japanese have something very strong inside us that can attract western girls as an animal.
like a deer with bigger horn attracts female more
like a peecock with more beautiful feather attracts female more.
these are not something you have just yourself, you have it because your ancestor got it little by little for generations of life and death
i (want to) believe that japanese(asian) guys have something white/black guys don't.

kazuwazu

2004-10-01, 02:43 PM

re: DaGster: about your opinion, i totally agree with you. japanese husbands really expect their wives to be at home do everything domestic. it's very strong tradition we have. i mean all asian culture is same.
i have lived with several white girls, and i'm a person who does everything myself. i cook(i hate eating outside) all the time, i wash, i clean, only one thing i hate to do in the house is laundry stuff.
when i show to the girl that i do domestic work well, it doesn't take time to make this girl being like old japanese guy. i keep cleaning the house for 2 months and if one day the room is dirty, she'd say "hey!!" , i go "hey what?", she is like "room's messy", i answer "why don't you do it for once?"
so it's kind of vice versa.
i know bunch of european guys who never do house work, who never pay attention to their kids' development.
and look at this fact. more than 70% of european family put their kids into day-care facility before the baby becomes 6 months old.
and half of them start at 3-4 months old
3month-old baby goes to school!!!!!
it's UNBELIEBABLE for asian people.

and look at this fact: devortion rate of french couples today 67%. japan is still under 10%

i do know japanese couples, family have huge problems that have ____ed up today's society, but as far as i have seen, the ammount of domestic issues european people have is still a lot bigger than asian's.

so i don't think it's a clever idea to say ___ guys are evil in one word.

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re:madmaxxam

yeah you are right. Originality doesn't go just by how many years of history your family has.
i didn't mean that.
what i said is that your originality as yourself depends on how you have lived, how much you think in daily life, how many people you have met, ,,,,this directly connects to one's charm, attraction, personality.
your originality as being japanese, american, european is another topic.
there is something you can't ignore in you that goes deep inside your history , in one word nationality. which is your originality too.
although there are a lot of stereo-type prejudices on each nationality, it's 100% sure that there are common personality, sense of value, the way you think, if you have same nationality.

and i think, the deeper history you have in your family, the more you have things that you can't change, things you can be proud to have from your great(X100)grandpa.
and what i said last time is that we japanese have something very strong inside us that can attract western girls as an animal.
like a deer with bigger horn attracts female more
like a peecock with more beautiful feather attracts female more.
these are not something you have just yourself, you have it because your ancestor got it little by little for generations of life and death
i (want to) believe that japanese(asian) guys have something white/black guys don't.

kazuwazu

2004-10-01, 02:47 PM

oops i voted same message twice.

kurogane

2004-10-01, 03:04 PM

Nice discussion.
Kazuwazu (great handle by the way),
Your tendency to rely on outdated, narrow-minded, chauvinistic cultural stereotypes (the pride of the Japanese education system) and prejudices about The Japanese and The White/Blacks (as absolute monolithic prefigurations) weakens rather than strengthen your arguments, which are sound, inspiring, and interesting. That bit about all people who share a nationality having the same personality and values had me pissing myself in derisive laughter. I hear that same BS from trained analysts at work every day, though, so don't feel too bad. Fifty years of Jiminto Chauvinist Nationalist Education/Propaganda can't be overcome overnight.
You need to phrase your arguments in a more personal, less absolute, and less dichotomistic ways to really get the strength of your argument across. And your argument is strong, no doubt about that. Anyways, I have a very boring looking meeting to go to. More later. Also, please don't use the term ___, even if you are. The tragic weight of History has killed that term forever.
Kazuwazu was on line
Kazuwazu argued fine
Kazuwazu wasn't Krazzy, Wazee?

:p

Da Gster

2004-10-01, 03:34 PM

I like a lot of you’ve said.
I don’t think western families are perfect. However, sometimes I look at divorce as healthy. That is, the higher the divorce rate the more social freedom there is. In the middle-east divorce rates are near 0%. That’s doesn’t mean it is healthy. I also do not believe Japanese married couples are healthy. Middle-aged Japanese couples seldom go out with each other. Getting baby sitters is almost unheard of. I believe when Japanese married couples lose interest in each other they stay together, but in the case of western marriages they get divorced. Also with Japanese mothers verses western mothers hmmmmmm. I think the Japanese mother is also not a great example. Firstly, there are way more house wives in Japan so of course there is going to be less kids going to daycare at a young age. Also the Japanese government makes it very difficult to put kids into daycare under 1 year of age. My wife and I tried to put our youngest kid in daycare but we had to wait till he was over 1.
Western women are more career orientated than Japanese women. In my country, statistics show that wealthy parents are the ones that send their kids to daycare the fastest because the wife is a professional of some sort and wants to continue her career path.
I don’t like how Japanese mothers sleep with their children till a very late age. This takes a lot of the freedom away from the mother and also creates marital stress as it becomes more difficult for the husband and the wife to have sex. There is a reason why there are so many brothels in Japan.
Well Ive said a lot. I don’t agree with Japanese family structures. But there are other aspects of Japan that are far superior than many western countries. The number for me is the low crime rate.

Morning Star

2004-10-01, 03:54 PM

Kazuwazu, it's very refreshing to have a Japanese perspective on this board.

Throwing around statistics and comparing one culture to another doesn't prove anything. People send their kids to daycare for many reasons, often economic. Divorce rate is high in one country and the number of married couples that hate each other is higher in another.
What are some domestic issues you've experienced in Europe or US that makes you say that Japan has a better record in that area?
One area that Japan has probably gotten right is their ability to keep people off of drugs, and that solves a lot of domestic issues. It would be very easy to import and distribute here, but there's no market, everyone is scared sh1tless of illegal substances. Sucks for us gaijinpot heads, but Japan prevents a lot of social problems this way.

Kurochan - I love that Kazuwazu uses the word ___... it simply takes too much finger power to write the word Japanese. Few, if any, of us were alive during WW2 when the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor, so there's really not much sting left in that word.

kurogane

2004-10-01, 04:03 PM

Kazuwazu, it's very refreshing to have a Japanese perspective on this board.
Kurochan - I love that Kazuwazu uses the word ___... it simply takes too much finger power to write the word Japanese. Few, if any, of us were alive during WW2 when the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor, so there's really not much sting left in that word.

Point 1 above: AGREED!!!
Point 2 above: YUKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me cringe. Shudder. Feel Icky. BUT, I can learn to live with it. Not use it. Just live with it. On second thought, NOPE. The historical legacy of hate and oppression evoked by the term is too much for my poor little post-Marxist neo-constructionist soul to bear..
BTW, what's wrong with "jpn", or "Jpn"? That's what I use when I am writing stuff at work. Then I just use replace all later. Seems a nicer, kinder abbreviation.
AND you weren't implying that I was alive when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbour, were you???????????????????????
;)

madmaxxam

2004-10-01, 04:22 PM

Point 2 above: YUKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me cringe. Shudder. Feel Icky. BUT, I can learn to live with it. Not use it. Just live with it. On second thought, NOPE. The historical legacy of hate and oppression evoked by the term is too much for my poor little post-Marxist neo-constructionist soul to bear..
BTW, what's wrong with "jpn", or "Jpn"? That's what I use when I am writing stuff at work. Then I just use replace all later. Seems a nicer, kinder abbreviation.
AND you weren't implying that I was alive when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbour, were you???????????????????????
;)

So I suppose that you think black people shouldn't use the word ______ because of the strong negative connotation it once carried? There, I said it, the n word. Let's face it, other terms that were once used only in hatred have been adopted by the groups that they were used against and embraced. A Japanese person can refer to Japanese people however he wants, especially if he's not saying something like **** Japs. Maybe us gaijin shouldn't throw the word around so freely to people we just met, but I personally wouldn't fault kazu.

kurogane

2004-10-01, 04:27 PM

Fair enough. I still think it is an ugly term, with an ugly history, that would be better off retired than revived. As for the N word, I don't gives me no **** what no homey says if he be on da fly and in da stink, or some such White Boy pseudo ghetto rap. In other words, No, I wouldn't dream telling anyone what to call themselves. I do think it a stupid, degrading practice, however. And lots of Them agree, BTW.
Mind you, it is hard to imagine anyone in a Spike Lee movie yelling out "Hey, where you goin' to, African-American man?"
PS I did ask him, not tell him, BTW.

kazuwazu

2004-10-01, 05:15 PM

thanks Kurogane and Morning Star.
i expected from the very beginning that someone would call me "outdated, narrow-minded, chauvinistic"

i welcome all positive negative reactions to my post. it's really fun , especially talking with someone who disagrees with me.

BUT plz do not think i ever mentioned japanese guys are the best, or viva-japan-flag-waving sentenses.

i do think my way of thinking is rather extreme, or even some can call right-wing.
i don't wanna bring it to the political situations or education system right here, it's a Pringles topic if you bring it that way. one you open, you can't stop.

i know politic, education, medical system, media, they are all ____ed up. it's really about to cross the point of no-return. yeah japan is boring.
but is it only our country? don't you think your country has as much issues ?
so let's not compare our thoughts based on "system"

nore than this we are talking about ___ guyXwestern girl relationship here.
it was also my fault that i brought it to family issues , devotion, and so on.
i'll try not to go sidewalk now.

it'll be hard to talk about japanese guys mind without mentioning today's social system, but there must be a way.

--------------------------------------------------------------
and about writing ___, i don't wanna change it. well i myself use it normally. england is ENG, canada is CAN, making japan JPN is really a cheap trick to avoid cheap arguments.
i call black guy black, white is white, yellow is yellow, it's a fact.
in Japan, 15th of August is called "syuusen-kinenbi" means "the day WW2 finished".
how cool. the war "finished". the war is gone. like a twister . it's a laughing matter.
i call it "haisen-kinenbi", "the day we lost the war"

yeah, so there is no problem calling me ___.
fat is fat, bald is bald. why have they become words to hurt people?
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ah one more thing. i totally agree with the idea devotion is healthier than keeping your chain on your neck, staying with someone you USED to love.
i agree 100% that japanese family are often putting mask and acting "family", it's one of the biggest shames we have.
but i am not able to come this point to say 65%devotion ratio is healthy.
it comes to the topic of ----if you devorce anyway, what's the meaning of marriage?---

i don't say western culture is better or asian comes upper,

my total point i wanted to say here is
----------------------------------------------------------------
we asian have something you western don't,
it of course means you western have something we asian don't
we asian should be proud of what we originaly have
vowing to western culture and learn good things we don't have is FINE, just we shouldn't throw away OUR good things.
as an asian guy, to attract western girls, it's the best way to show something only WE have, not acting like "i'm westernized enough to please you"
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that's all. please reply me, if you have things to say

Morning Star

2004-10-01, 05:20 PM

Point 1 above: AGREED!!!
Point 2 above: what's wrong with "jpn", or "Jpn"? That's what I use when I am writing stuff at work. Then I just use replace all later. Seems a nicer, kinder abbreviation.
AND you weren't implying that I was alive when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbour, were you????;)
For all I know, this board is run out of a nursing home and the patients get 1 hour online each day. I know that Kuro, paul and t_h are venerable, but just how wisened by years is anyone's guess.

I'm sure if I poured over historical documents and saw how revved up Americans were against the Japanese back then I'd feel the same way. I hate to offend people, and most of all kurogane, so I'll try to refrain from calling slopes japs anymore.

kurogane

2004-10-01, 05:58 PM

so I'll try to refrain from calling slopes japs anymore.
You are a clever little contrarian. Kurogane so happy. If I actually believed that you believed in any of the crap associated with the use of such terms, you might have gotten a rise out of me. But you are my Morning Star, Ooh, bebby bebby :p

Kazuwazu,
Nice. Thanks for the clarification. I was a little worried you spent your days driving around in one of those black and white trucks near Ueno station blaring out Naziesque BS :p
Nonetheless, being satisfied with "outdated, narrow-minded, chauvinistic" modes of thought and belief is nothing to be proud of. As for the ___ thing, I think you are all wrong. That is WRONG WRONG WRONG. It is not just an abbreviation. It is a vicious, denigratory term with a long history, and such facile attempts to regurgitate it are worse than just ill advised, they are insidious, because the term itself is invidious. God I love alliteration.
BTW, I loved that bit about 終戦記念日。I always call it the 敗戦記念日。It drives my Jpn (!!!) friends nuts (even the right-thinking ones)!! That little inner Tojo can be hard to get rid of, I guess.

kurogane

2004-10-01, 07:36 PM

It's Back.
Anyway, kazuwazu,
I agree with you that Jpn(!!! ;)) guys are every bit as good, original, etc., as any other guys anywhere. The sad part is that they have such negative stereotypes against them, both here and abroad, that it is an uphill battle to fight such characterisations. That is why it is inspiring to hear one (i.e. You) stand up for yourselves. The problem I had with your original post is that it seemd chauvinist. You cleared that up. I think we are in agreement here. The idea that to take pride in oneself requires the denigration of an Other is a sad commentary on what passes for pride in this world. I would hope that we can come to see that real pride in oneself requires the celebration of an Other.
Your use of history as a bludgeon ("because we have x thousand years of history we are more original") is one of my most frequent pet peeves here. I blame it on the national education system, and the media. It is chauvinist, and analytically moronic. The idea that because Japanese still live on the same land that their ancestors shat on means they are more connected to a sense of culture and history is the most sophomoric kind of historical determinism. History and culture are about the Now, not the Then, constructed by us, for our purposes. The important thing is for Us, all of Us, to take back control over those histories, and those cultures, and re-construct them in such a way that we can all be ourselves, be happy being ourselves, and all get along. Happy People Holding Hands.
I understand that a lot of the White guy vs. Japanese guy dichotomies are not just simplistic, but insulting and destructive. Your comments about a sense of physical inadequacy are particularly poignant. My impression is that such Myths of _____ Envy are largely andro-centric concerns. That is to say, men care about it, but most women don't. One particular freak aside, my Jpn girlfriends have always considered any extra size factor a happy but coincidental bonus to the Pure Joy of dating me (;)). A few have even found it an unwelcome intrusion on their admittedly rather small persons. The idea that any two people who truly care for each other cannot find satisfaction in their physical relationship based simply on size factors is, I think, silly. If anything, it is more of a pan-species male inadequacy than a particularly Japanese male concern.
Anyways, welcome to the club, and have a good weekend.
:D

kurogane

2004-10-01, 07:58 PM

I can see you........................................ :p

person

2004-10-01, 08:59 PM

Don't have time to read through everything, but I did skim -

I want to comment on just one thing that...maybe Kazuwazu wrote -

Apparently, in attempts to win my affection, many (sounds rather cocky...perhaps some/a few rather) Japanese men have gone so far as to tell me how much they hate this country. This always strikes me as rather odd - I mean, this is their home. No one should think his/her homeland is perfect; however, to go so far as to hate it? That's quite strange to me. The irony is that, in doing so, they are, in effect, just alienating me from them further. Why would I want to be with a man who hates a country I have come to...like very much? I mean, I can see a lot of good in Japan; why would I want someone who couldn't? That he was Japanese would only make it worse. I mean, not being able to function in your own country is a little...discouraging, in my opinion. It says more about you and less about those around you (generally speaking).

I think it should go unsaid that every/any culture, group of people, etc. has worthwhile things about their history, etc. As has been pointed out many times, people are people so this, of course, varies by individual. However, discounting your ethnicity, culture and history is rather...strange to me. Personally, I look for men who can take the good from anything - their upbringing, culture, family, etc. - and "blend" it with other things. I don't know if this makes sense, but...

As I said, I tend to date only Japanese men (the odds are sort of in favor of this); however, again, they aren't completely traditional in their thinking. Yes, most are fairly conservative...yet, they are also fairly..."worldly" (not just Western but usually that too). I'd like to think I'm not a "typical" American (whatever this might be...good and/or bad). My thinking is not strictly "American". Therefore, someone else's should be just as...diverse.

As for Japanese men having some hang-ups about pleasing foreign women - strange. If you are going to have hang-ups, have them about being a man and pleasing a woman. Men who want a foreign woman (for whatever reason - to prove something, because it's novel, etc.) just because she is foreign frighten me. As has been noted many times, a person is a person.

I'm babbling now though so I must sign off. BYE

kurogane

2004-10-01, 09:16 PM

Apparently, in attempts to win my affection, many (sounds rather cocky...perhaps some/a few rather) Japanese men have gone so far as to tell me how much they hate this country. This always strikes me as rather odd -

Naisu. I have noticed that I Hate Japan trend amongst a lot of Native Women here. I think it is supposed to be an endearing opening, but I'm with you, personable. It bugs me, and occasionally, when they are particularly vehement, it makes me feel icky. I have foreign friends who really dig that, though. That's even weirder.

As has been noted many times, a person is a person.
Now, if a person is a person, and you are also a person, does that mean that a person who is person is also a person. Isn't that a triple negative?
Naisu Weekuendo!! ;)

person

2004-10-01, 09:48 PM

You know...the more kind words you and I share...the scarier things become. What happened to the good 'ol days when we could disagree...in peace? Let us try and rekindle such moments, shall we? I trust it will be better for the both of us...(kidding...I think).

One final pleasantry - enjoyed your "ode" to Fuzzy Wuzzy...well done. You have numerous talents...perhaps most of which are with a keyboard? Just trying (albeit every so lamely) to get your goat...wherever it went roaming.

You must make the Japanese girls laugh, Kurogane...assuming they are laughing with you and, well, not at you, that is! KIDDING!! Sort of a defense mechanism - I just can't start to enjoy your online persona too much. I'm waiting for the old Kurogane to rear his (her?) ugly head.

wonderful

2004-10-02, 12:12 AM

hello again guys. I havent read all the post but i just wanted to say something

1st The WORD issue. Isn't weird how a word that is suppose to show disgrace to a particular race is more offense to the another race and not the race that the word is partaining too.

2nd Madmaxxam why are picking on me!!!!.

Na thats ok I understand why you used me as the "example". You do get that feelin from my original post. I will admit that I do have a crush on Japanese guys although I have not dated one. But I’m not just going to jump on a guy because he happens to be Japanese. Ive date white guys and black guys and all of them were different. What I’m trying to say is that although I do find most Japanese guys cute that is not one of my main goals when Im looking for in someone. Most of the guys Ive dated weren’t exactly cute but they possessed something else that I liked. From there personality, thing that they like to the way they treated me. Your outer appearance is not as important as whats inside to me.

Maybe I should rewrite my original post

madmaxxam

2004-10-02, 12:17 AM

Apparently, in attempts to win my affection, many (sounds rather cocky...perhaps some/a few rather) Japanese men have gone so far as to tell me how much they hate this country. This always strikes me as rather odd - I mean, this is their home. No one should think his/her homeland is perfect; however, to go so far as to hate it?

There are two sides to the 'hating the homeland' issue. There are plenty of reasons why people might not like Japan, one of which for example being the insane work ethic. Move to America and your work week can be cut in half (maybe not quite, but from what I've seen of some peoples jobs here). It seems to be more difficult to get out with all your friends and have a 'night on the town' here. Sometimes watching Maki try to convince her friends to come out is a really sad sight.

Depending on your personality, Japan just might not be for you. However, for these people that hate Japan, what are they doing to leave Japan? Maki, for example, was just in Montreal for 8 months, and plans to leave Japan again next summer if at all possible. If you don't like your country... fine, do something about it, leave. I have no problem with people disliking their homeland for certain reasons. I have problems with people disliking their homeland, and doing nothing to improve their situation.

madmaxxam

2004-10-02, 12:20 AM

2nd Madmaxxam why are picking on me!!!!.

Na thats ok I understand why you used me as the "example". You do get that feelin from my original post. I will admit that I do have a crush on Japanese guys although I have not dated one. But I’m not just going to jump on a guy because he happens to be Japanese. Ive date white guys and black guys and all of them were different. What I’m trying to say is that although I do find most Japanese guys cute that is not one of my main goals when Im looking for in someone. Most of the guys Ive dated weren’t exactly cute but they possessed something else that I liked. From there personality, thing that they like to the way they treated me. Your outer appearance is not as important as whats inside to me.

Maybe I should rewrite my original post

Yeah, nothing personal wonderful. I don't know you after all, so how could it be personal? I just respond to what I see, and if a post is implying something not said by the author, well, that's why you can post again to say 'what I meant to say...' etc. I just wanted to make a point.

wonderful

2004-10-02, 12:24 AM

Yeah, nothing personal wonderful. I don't know you after all, so how could it be personal? I just respond to what I see, and if a post is implying something not said by the author, well, that's why you can post again to say 'what I meant to say...' etc. I just wanted to make a point.

No problem madmaxxam. Like I said before I completely understand why you pick me. We always go by our first impression. Even if we try not to. Human Nature, what can you do.
We're still cool.

kurogane

2004-10-02, 07:45 PM

person,
I'm with ya. It's freaking me out too. Okay, here we go..........

Look here you cantankerous, argumentative...........

Nope. Sorry, my heart's not in it anymore. I do dispute the idea that the old me was in any way, shape, or form "ugly". Aside from the fact that I am one of the most physically beautiful specimens in the history of the world (;)), I have always been a soldier for Good and Truth. My bombastic moments are, for the most part, reserved for those who deserve a good verbal kicking. The question of who deserves what, is of course, a matter of opinion.

And yes, the J-girls seem to find me deliciously idiotic. Both friends, and "special friends". I do find the Kyoto-Osaka girls have a better appreciation of my sense of humour. Other parts of the country don't seem to appreciate irony and sarcasm as much as around here. As for the majority of my talents, I haven't had any complaints lately. Knock on woody.
PS I'm probably a guy. Scratch that. Definitely.

person

2004-10-02, 10:23 PM

Say it isn't so...

I didn't think there were any places here in Japan where irony and sarcasm were appreciated. I've become a believer in the "humour doesn't transcend culture" bit. Who knew. Perhaps I'll have to start hanging out in those back alley bars you frequent so often...of course, in Kyoto, how bad could they be, right? Maybe a geisha or two...

Of course, I'm guessing it's less that region and more just your special charm...or perhaps it's the girls. No matter, if it works for you and them, all's good. Recently, it's been working for me (perhaps "us"...the collective viewer) here on GP so...keep it up. Just be sure to include some rude/crude comments every now and again...it'll remind me with whom I'm dealing. ;)

As for you being a hottie...as well as a boy, thank your lucky stars this is an Internet forum. You're safe. No worries. May you keep the Kansai girls well looked after...and they you. Play safe...oh, yes, that's a different thread.

Morning Star

2004-10-03, 03:24 PM

Speaking of different threads, maybe Kurochan and Person should find a private thread to retire to and then come back when both of them are done posting their brains out.

Back to the hate Japan thing. I was at an inaka bicycle repair shop the other day looking to get a new bike. A couple of old bicycle repair men engaged me in conversation for about 1/2 hour. During that conversation the older gentleman told me he had been to America a long time ago. Then on about how Japanese love to copy Western trends because things are so much better and bigger in America. He kept praising how great America is and how Japan is too old fashioned.

It bugged me, but he seemed like he enjoyed the self-deprecation so much, I couldn't stop him.

冬のソナタ大好き！！！！！

kurogane

2004-10-04, 03:39 PM

Speaking of different threads, maybe Kurochan and Person should find a private thread to retire to and then come back when both of them are done posting their brains out.

Yes, sorry abou that. It was quite a schmaltz fest ;)

As for the self-deprecation here, I hate that too. I do think it is, in some instances, a sort of reverse arrogance, and perhaps just a weird form of courtesy to Honourable Foreigner. Once people realise how good my Japanese is (no, no, it really is, honest ;)), I often find even mild critical comments are taken as inappropriate criticism; the logic being, I think, that I should know better by now. Unless it is women with "Want Exit Visa, Will Perform Filthy Acts to Obtain" stamped on their forehead. Their vitriol seems to know no bounds. At least that one on Friday night was like that. It was strange, though. She was tall, with black hair, wearing a white skirt, standing outside the South Exit of Shinjuku station, talking on her cell phone in Japanese (Kanto dialect, to be precise). I felt like I had seen her somewhere before. Anyway, after I left her south exit..........................

Sorry, I'm getting off topic again. Never Mind.
:p

kurogane

2005-06-25, 11:22 PM

I lived my life in Toronto, Canada.
I am an asian guy and this is what I get from white chicks.
"eeww" or some smirk on their face or laughing with their friends....
For some reason I think I probably have a better chance finding a white GF in Japan than back in my home country.
Well this is just what I see with girls of my generation. I think every generation is different.... oh well I am 21 and I aint no expert.
OUCH! Sorry to hear that those kind of dorks still exist.
I know it sounds trite, but cute as they may or may not be, at least you know right out what Loosers they are.
How about moving to Vancouver? That's a potpourri of pretty, non-bigoted babers.
Anyways, sympathies, from a Very Very White guy.
:)

waller

2005-06-26, 03:58 AM

One area that Japan has probably gotten right is their ability to keep people off of drugs, and that solves a lot of domestic issues. It would be very easy to import and distribute here, but there's no market, everyone is scared sh1tless of illegal substances. Sucks for us gaijinpot heads, but Japan prevents a lot of social problems this way.

K

Huh WTF are you talking about? I almost never go out but did tonight but nobody wanted to dance in this smalltown bar cos they were all stoned off their tits! POT = wrong drug for people who are repressed anyway.

eku

2005-06-27, 06:51 AM

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh gimme a joint... some music... and a small open space......... and i am a moving violation for at least 2 or three hours...

strange ppls not feeling the beat :confused:

waller

2005-06-27, 01:50 PM

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh gimme a joint... some music... and a small open space......... and i am a moving violation for at least 2 or three hours...

strange ppls not feeling the beat :confused:

Would hve been nice to have you around on Sat nite Eku. LIke I say, I can't go out much over here and then to get the chance, wanna good dance but be the only one doing it while everyone just sat around and watched ......so sad!

waller

2005-06-27, 01:59 PM

and look at this fact. more than 70% of european family put their kids into day-care facility before the baby becomes 6 months old.
and half of them start at 3-4 months old
3month-old baby goes to school!!!!!
it's UNBELIEBABLE for asian people.

rate of french couples today 67%. japan is still under 10%

.

I'm not sure where you got this from but I am absolutely sure it is wrong. What is your source?
You make out that this idea is so unbelievable for Asian people (though I don't see how you can possibly speak for a whole continent) but what about this: the hoiken my daughter attends here is open from 7 am to 10pm (no such facilities exist to my knowledge in NZ) The baby class is absolutely full of VERY young babies, much younger than any I have seen in childcare in NZ . I don't mean I think it is wrong, not at all, but don"t intimate you all know how to look after your kids and westerners don't. It's bullshit.
i'd also like to see your source for French divorce rates.

As for what a happy/successful family is....well, that too is very subjective. Although families may stay intact here more than in some western societies, it could be argued that seeing your Dad only for half a day on the weekends cos he"s always at work, and having to stat at school till 8 oclock most nights do not make up the elements of a happy family. But as I said, it's subjective.

limitsnot

2005-06-27, 02:45 PM

On the note that the hours many people work here don't make for happy families, I subjectively agree.

Kazuwazu, I really like your posts. Japanese guys soooo have something unique that can be very compelling, and the ones I find myself most attractive are the ones that are comfortable with being Japanese, whatever that means to them. It's not dissimilar to what attracts me to my countrymen; guys with relaxed self-confidence are very sexy.

To the OP, I think if you are interested in meeting J-guys you should make friends with a J-crowd. Lots of Japanese guys seem interested in dating foreign women, for all kinds of reasons. When I first came to Japan, a Canadian man who spoke alot of Japanese (and who I therefore foolishly took as an authority on the matter) told me that "the only ones that might go for it are those who have lived abroad". I've found that to be misinformation. I've made the move and I've had the move made on me, and I have been the one to give the information that it was time to make the move, and I've taken note that it was time to make the move as well. Just as in the dating world you come from, if someone really likes you, they will let you know. The rest will be history.

Tokyoite

2005-06-27, 04:18 PM

Lots of Japanese guys seem interested in dating foreign women, for all kinds of reasons. When I first came to Japan, a Canadian man who spoke alot of Japanese (and who I therefore foolishly took as an authority on the matter) told me that "the only ones that might go for it are those who have lived abroad". I've found that to be misinformation. I've made the move and I've had the move made on me, and I have been the one to give the information that it was time to make the move, and I've taken note that it was time to make the move as well. Just as in the dating world you come from, if someone really likes you, they will let you know. The rest will be history.

Limitsnot, I really like your posts as a rule, and this one is no exception. But I would add this: I've come to believe that for long-term relationship success, you need to be able to speak each other's languages to a significant degree. Could that be what the Canadian know-it-all was trying to get at? (Guys who've lived abroad = guys who speak English, y'know...)

I'm going to make a broad generalization here, so people should feel free to contradict me out of their own experience or intellectual arrogance. I've noticed that when a gaijin man marries a Japanese woman and they live in Japan, it can work in the long run even if he doesn't speak Japanese. But when a gaijin woman marries a Japanese man and they live in Japan, she always seems to learn Japanese, or else they end up getting divorced. Why this difference? Search me. Could there really be something in that old canard about women's greater willingness to adapt to men's convenience?

At any rate, my own relationships with Japanese guys have always been in Japanese. But that's just because my whole life is in Japanese. End result: I get an Eigo craving and come on gaijinpot :)

mint jam

2005-06-27, 11:10 PM

Oh I didn't notice that there was such a hot thread going on.wish i had joined earlier but anyways here I am as one of the J-girls who i dont see many here,gaijin forum..
let me show my opinion,too.

1.about J-guys
it's good to hear the local opinion from kazuwazu,i think your analysis of J-guys is quite to the point.
cause i sometimes hear my J-girl friends telling me that to get a BF you have to be pretty modest and praising him a lot is very effective.that makes sense if a lot of J-guys are having some kind of inferiority complex.

2.about the word ___
i don't use this word for abbreviation coz even if it's written it is ambiguous.so i'd appreciate your consideration,Kurogane-san:)but i also dont mind if any of you use "___" just to mean Japanese for short.
i've been wondering why we get/are supposed to get upset when we are called "___" or "Yellow" while white ppl and black ppl are fine with "white"and"black".looks like it originates from our complex again.what's wrong with being Japanese and Asian?

3.about our sortof lack of patriotism
thank u for saying that you didn't like it when a J-guy was complaining about Japan,MS.yeah-i always feel like we should be proud of ourselves and our country more.
here's an example;when Japanese mothers have Idobata-meeting(having a small talk with her child's classmate's mother),they always complain about their own children even if her children are with them(!).saying like,"my son has never done well at any subjects-i'm really worried about his future."it has happened to me a lot when i was a kid-and it gave me a weird feeling.i asked my mom why she said such a thing and she just said "that's how it goes."
but now i guess that's the very right answer-that is how it goes here,unfortunately.

But our negative thoughts are relevant to our modesty at the same time-so at some point maybe it can be something to be respected.usually when we say something bad about ourselves we don't mean all that bad-we are just being polite.Keigo(honorific word)'s character indicates this as well as Idobata-meeting stuff.we show our respect to others by disrespecting ourselves.what a complicated system..
so i hope you guys don't take it that serious when J people b_tch about ourselves;)

To Kazuwazu:
i was totally impressed by your ramrks and your encouragement to J-guys somehow touched my heart a lot-even though i'm a girl.
i think i got what you meant by"originality".i agree that J-guys are attractive because of their root,ppl are always attractive when they know where they came from,aren't they?

i know tons of japanese are actually proud of having our tradition(even though it can't be seen easily nowadays,we went through some of the crises of invasion and still saved our culture long time ago..).
sometimes japanese virtue "silence is golden" irritates me but i can't help loving them on the other hand-when you realize that they(we) do have strong,beautiful mind inside i just apprrciate to be born in this country.
just like kimono is extremely sexy when womens'leg shows from its narrow slit..
(i hope this doesn't sound too fetish.)

QUOTE=kazuwazu]
girls get attracted by guys who have originality, and self-dignity. originality is to have "origin"
japanese guys potentially have one of the strongest originality among all the guys from all over the world.
american, europian guys, if you track back 3 or 4 generations, they are someone else. we have been japanese for 2-3ks of years.

___ guys, stand up, we cen be attractive!!

if you wanna have non-asian girl friend, GO for it, JUMP on her!!
if she is not interested in YOU, it's YOUR problem. not color or size!![/QUOTE]

limitsnot

2005-06-28, 12:57 PM

Limitsnot, I really like your posts as a rule, and this one is no exception.

Hey, thanks! No one's ever said that to me before and it warms the cockles of my heart. Yulp. Walkin' around with warm cockles.

I've come to believe that for long-term relationship success, you need to be able to speak each other's languages to a significant degree. Could that be what the Canadian know-it-all was trying to get at? (Guys who've lived abroad = guys who speak English, y'know...)

That's probably exactly what he meant. Of course, at that time I didn't speak much Japanese, and now the situation is different. Actually, when I realized that I was interested in Japanese, I was hoping to meet someone who didn't speak English, for a number of reasons. I guess it doesn't matter to me if I am the one crossing now, although in the future it might prove disastrous. But then again, I am not thinking in terms of the future. I don't feel I am at that developmental stage, if that makes any sense.

Thanks to Mint Jam for her two yen and oh, do I love that nickname.

I think one of the sexiest things about Japanese guys is their calm. I like calm guys at home too. But J-guys have an especially sexy calm.

kurogane

2005-06-30, 12:54 AM

2.about the word ___
i don't use this word for abbreviation coz even if it's written it is ambiguous.so i'd appreciate your consideration,Kurogane-san:)but i also dont mind if any of you use "___" just to mean Japanese for short.
i've been wondering why we get/are supposed to get upset when we are called "___" or "Yellow" while white ppl and black ppl are fine with "white"and"black".looks like it originates from our complex again.what's wrong with being Japanese and Asian?
I only use that term to point out that others using it in anger, derogation, or obstinate unreflexivity should be filleted and fried.
I don't think the context was unclear, above, but anyways, apologies if you were offended.
As for the ___ word and yellow word, they have a long history of use as racial epithets; hence our dislike of them. We may be idjits here, but we are equal opportunity Idjits. Well, 'cept for some.

Gaijin de Moscu

2005-08-07, 06:13 AM

Interesting discussion... I've been mostly off-line after my fiancee came here to join me but now she's on biz trip... so I'm catching up on all them old threads...

1. Wonderful, I actually have a lot of positives to say about Japanese guys (and I'm a man). I made several very good friends. Thoughtful, humble, funny, a bit insecure (which makes them better), with unexpected hobbies. Just like someone said, I love their quiet confidence, usually accompanied with a good smile. I don't know how they treat their wives -- only saw one or two bad examples -- but many couples who are friends with my fiancee, and now are my friends, seem to be very stable.

2. Kazuwazu, I hear you, mate. As a Russian, I also have that complex that Russian men might be inferior to the Anglo-Saxons... not as chatty... not as polished... some Russian inaka guys stink like French cheeze... It bloody hurts when the girls here in the West go 'wow, could never guess you were a Russian' when I tell them, as if it's a compliment... sucks to hear that. I am a Russian, and I want people to guess that.

Also, many Russians talk about Russia as if it were a shithole... but unlike Japanese, they aren't humble - they passionately mean it. I know it's a shithole, but it's my shithole... with lots of good things dangling in it... like... oh, I don't know. History and philosophy, for example.

I agree with your call to the Japanese guys. A personal story here... no judgement, just description... When my fiancee was divorcing her Japanese hubby, I asked her how he reacted to the whole thing. She told me he said 'Oh, I can't compete with a white foreigner...' and he just left quietly. My emotion: oh give me a break. Fight for your woman, come to confront me, whatever. He still loved her! But he left just like that... I both respected and didn't respect him for that. He showed both dignity and weakness... and that comment about the white guys disgusted me. Would he come to fight me if I were Japanese? What did he mean?

3. "I hate Japan" thing. I heard it many times, and always took it as a simple humble expression.

But... Today I was calling my fiancee. I said, "I've been lonely here in the empty apato and I've been thinking... you love Japan, so let's come back there in a couple of years."

She said - "Hmm... I love the service and the food and the clothes sizes... but I don't want to raise our kids here - because of the society." Then, after we talked the society, she said - "If we live in Western Europe and just come back here twice a year... I'll feel better". Given that she's normally quite chovinistic, and used to HATE Western Europe only 6 months ago, this made me get thinking.

I have no point to make, btw. Just observations. Still thinking... :D

Gaijin de Moscu

2005-08-07, 06:28 AM

To Kazuwazu's stats...

Japan's private nurseries are full of small kids, as far as I saw. Many Japanese women are also working and making careers, just like the Western ladies. My boy went to a private nursery when he was 6 months (that was the starting age they acepted) and that nursery had lots of small age babies.

And.. sometimes we brought him there on Saturdays... yes I know I was a dork to do that but I was divorcing and the home climate was 'inappropriate'... and on Saturdays, many small Japanese kids were there. Looking very sad and lonely.

I don't have any sweeping statistic to back up my observation, so just sharing it as I saw it...

takai

2005-08-08, 01:03 PM

And what kind of information have you found out about them. Guys feel free to answer. Maybe you have some Japanese friends who may have told you something

these are my japanese friends...I'll be asking them about your question...see what they have to say :)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/matrixide/supfools.jpg

electric_japan

2005-08-08, 01:25 PM

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/images/smug-wine-drinker.jpg
Japanese guys also like to load up on booze.

person

2005-08-09, 11:56 AM

3.about our sortof lack of patriotism
thank u for saying that you didn't like it when a J-guy was complaining about Japan,MS.yeah-i always feel like we should be proud of ourselves and our country more.
here's an example;when Japanese mothers have Idobata-meeting(having a small talk with her child's classmate's mother),they always complain about their own children even if her children are with them(!).saying like,"my son has never done well at any subjects-i'm really worried about his future."it has happened to me a lot when i was a kid-and it gave me a weird feeling.i asked my mom why she said such a thing and she just said "that's how it goes."
but now i guess that's the very right answer-that is how it goes here,unfortunately.

But our negative thoughts are relevant to our modesty at the same time-so at some point maybe it can be something to be respected.usually when we say something bad about ourselves we don't mean all that bad-we are just being polite.Keigo(honorific word)'s character indicates this as well as Idobata-meeting stuff.we show our respect to others by disrespecting ourselves.what a complicated system..
so i hope you guys don't take it that serious when J people b_tch about ourselves;)

Thank you for your post. I found it most interesting. While I think I understand much of what you are saying, I would have to disagree with you when you say disparaging yourself/your child(ren) is somehow related to being modest. In fact, I would say it's completely unrelated because, as most of us know, those remarks are NOT meant to be taken literally.

I'll give you an example -- Last night I was at an izakaya with a JP male friend. We ran into a friend of his who was there with his daughter. Early on in the conversation (yet, late enough for me to know his English was VERY good), he said something to the effect of he can't speak English well, but he would like to. My response? "Oh, that's too bad." He panicked a little...as if to worry I might actually believe this and stop talking to him.

Playing the little game, perhaps 1 minute later, I winked and said, "I think maybe you can speak English very well." While I realize this is the Japanese way, to a foreigner, this seems very much like fishing for a compliment...which, in the end, he got.

That's all well and good, and clearly we just look at it differently. However, to say this is related to modesty strikes me as very odd. 1) I know the people don't even believe it themselves; and 2) In my experience, most seem to discount themselves...perhaps particularly harshly when the truth is in an equal extreme (meaning, when they know the truth is QUITE the opposite).

No matter what JP people say about their lack of ability/themselves, it's been my experience that (at least for many) modesty is not lacking. In fact, the ways in which many alienate others -- by standing steadfast behind their ability/high self-esteem -- is pretty remarkable. Perhaps this is universal human nature? To some degree, I'm sure it is. However, I wonder if it is just as extreme elsewhere.

For example, perhaps more so than many places, in one breath -- the time it takes the average person to say "I'm Todai" (yes, I realize it should be "I went to" or "I graduated from") -- they have elevated themselves (and, in a very real sense, segregated themselves) from others less...worthy.

Perhaps this isn't entirely related. However, I think this self-depreciation (false as it is in most cases) has little to do with modesty (at least for the average person). Perhaps your mother said it best -- people do so because it is expected. A real virtue that does not make it.

As an aside -- At least for me, the more things I hear someone say that aren't necessarily true but said because they have to/are expected to, the less that makes me trust the other things that come out of their mouth. I mean, how do you differentiate between the two?

Just my thoughts --

Anubis79

2005-08-14, 09:14 AM

and also we are taught to believe that asian guys are ugly, flat-face short-leg big-head non-mannered yellow monkeys.........

___ guys, stand up, we cen be attractive!!

Hello there,

Just say that I don't thing what are you saying it's true. Talking with people I found that most of them are attractive to another race, another thing it's when you know the caracter of the person. I'm From Spain (Catalonia) and in my case I'm very attractive for Japanese guys (this doesn't mean for all) and for they culture but how I said you need to know that person.

Sorry for my inglish I tried.

Kss

m2pi

2005-09-05, 01:05 PM

Oops... came in too late, I guess. Well here's my $0.02 anyway...

I believe Japanese - both men and women - are systematically being taught to hate themselves. It is the only way to explain such odd mass behavior. And who is responsible? Read on.

Immediately after the end of the Pacific War, the communists have taken over the educational sector of this country. Their mission was to render Japan "spineless (ほね抜き)", to pave way for the red army to come in and take real control. After all they were the most hardworking and lucrative human resources in the world.

After decades of teaching kids of hatred toward Japan's own land, government, people, culture, and themselves, we now have a whole bunch of mindless, soulless, self-hating bunch of people who are extremely susceptible to fads and fashions. They rather be someone else than being themselves. The fondness of having different hair/eye color, weird clothes, anime/manga, partner of different ethnic/racial group, thus can be explained. Since they are unable to love themselves, they cannot share love for others. Since they do not have strong minds & souls to begin with, they cannot withstand long-lasting relationships.

However, in some rare occasions you will find some gems who are truly brilliant. I guess that's why you still haven't kissed this country good-bye. And you know, I won't.

Anubis79, bienvenidos a japon! Buena suerte en tu busqueda.

Saludo,

-M

stillnosheep

2005-09-05, 07:02 PM

I believe Japanese - both men and women - are systematically being taught to hate themselves. It is the only way to explain such odd mass behavior. And who is responsible? Read on.

Immediately after the end of the Pacific War, the communists have taken over the educational sector of this country. Their mission was to render Japan "spineless (ほね抜き)"
Superb analysis! The entire japanese populaytion rendered spineless and self-hating by succesful communist takeover of education system in 40's to pave the way for communist takeover!

Priceless!

(Any revolution would require a population ready to fight and die, not one of spineless self-haters m2pichan :)
- if we're going to get political perhaps thousands of years of feudal oppresion plus the meiji restoration may have had a little more to do with forming the modern-day japanese charecter than any putative post ww2 'communist plot') ;) .