British/western women

[lemonboy]

This is a reply to the women thread-



I initially came to Japan because I had a beautiful Japanese girlfriend I found at home in England. I didn't want to come here initially but once I was here I had a really good salary and I've been sucked in. I always found it really easy to meet foreign non British girls although meeting British particularly English girls slightly difficult but possible maybe easier than my friends. I personally find British girls look fine as good as the Japanese but they're too hard and unfeeling they do things to men these days which would surprise a serpent with their lack of feeling. Britain is an insular island country and like Japan I think things can go too far within society because they're not kept in check by other countries opinions. Women who are total man haters are encouraged which is as bad as condoning mysogny. The women totally have the upper hand. And the break up is usually institigated by women for example they found a new boyfriend ten years younger and leave their older guy with a receeding hairline.

Men are scared to stand up to the women which is not surprising because not only do the other women group together but some of the other (more narrow minded men) support the feminists themselves. Basically the women have even got half the men going along and agreeing with their derogatory attitude to men. The social problem is so deep it will never be sorted out in my lifetime. The suicide rate amongst men is three times higher than it is for women and this clearly caused by the social changes over the last twenty years - women are more independent, and a kind of revenge for mens 'past crimes' is considered ok. . Like it's considered ok to treat young Germans badly because of what they did in the war. The divorce rate is really high these days, and men often live alone. I think men need women more than other way around now that financially they've become equal but men aren't as emotionally, and assertively resourceful as women and need sex.

All this annoys me, I'm not charisma man- I'm goodlooking and I think Japan is too alien to stay for the rest of my life so I'm not sure what to do next. It seems that Canada, US etc also are places where women have the upper hand but maybe Britiain is worse and America. I met a American guy who studied in the UK when I asked him　about British people the one thing he said was the women were frosty!

I'm not sure where to go next! And I wish western particularly British guys would drop the guilt complex and stand up for themselves.

[kurogane]

I wish western particularly British guys would drop the guilt complex and stand up for themselves.
I'm with ya, there sourpuss. ;)
When I lived in Britain, I could not believe the crap we of the vaginally challenged species were expected to take based simply on our endowments. Mind you, I found a happy balance with the two girls I dated simply by refusing to swallow that kind of treatment, and by insisting that they swallow my treatment of them, which was usual, nice, Canadian style. Fair is fair, but it is also a two way street.
Ganbare, Yuzu-bo

[Morning Star]

I poop on your stereotypes. Despite the support group atmosphere of these forums, I've got to call a spade when I see it.
Women need a guy who knows how to put the root down. Frosty women are looking for the 熱い一っぱつ, and if you're tip-toeing around, courting their whims, you might be better off taking ahold of two bricks and smashing whatever that dangly piece of skin between your legs is, into oblivion.

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/

I'm sorry for using 熱い一っぱつ, I know it's old and ダサい but I still find a good use for it every once in a while.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Now, sir Morning Star sir, what the heck are 熱い一っぱつ and ダサい? The first one has someting to do with hot tempered Latino Machos, and the other one with being overused?

I am only san-kyu nihongo speaker da kara.

[lemonboy]

Well not all chicks over there are unattractive it's mostly their attitude to men which is the problem. And the country isn't that bad I've traveled to all the others English speaking ones plus many others. I stereotype is bad food and and bad weather but I was from the south and for me both were tolerable although not great. But the women definitely were not tolerable and they're getting worse! People should stop joking about the food which is getting better with all the immigrants going there and start joking about the women so they get the message! Kangaroo women are laughed at for their lack of feminity but it should be British women they're even worse in other ways. If it wasn' t for the women I'd probably would have experienced Japan and gone back by now! Any ideas on any other good countries especially for chicks?

I heard Kyushu girls and better than Tokyo ones.

[pink_bits]

Yeah, I've heard Ethipia is great for chicks, especially if you have a thing against fat mamas.

[OnceWritten]

Be a loser, find a loser. Don't usually like to generalize but you can travel the whole world and if you carry the great big weight of your preconceptions with you , you will only find who you are looking for. If you treat people as individuals, with dignity and interest, and not as a category to be measured by their body size, hair colour, exploitability, or easy susceptibility to your "charms" you might have better luck in any country.

[Morning Star]

Now, sir Morning Star sir, what the heck are 熱い一っぱつ and ダサい? The first one has someting to do with hot tempered Latino Machos, and the other one with being overused? I am only san-kyu nihongo speaker da kara.
I'm pry only 3-kyu myself.
熱い一っぱつ (atsui ippatsu) --> Hot shot. It's been out of circulation for at least 10 years.
ださいーダサい --> Short for だって埼玉だよ(datte Saitama dayo) This one might be a bit dated, too, but it refers to something being out of touch, out of fashion, or just plain sucking.

[lemonboy]

Be a loser! Well you're right about not having preconceptions about other countries. But this over reaction leads me to think you're just bitter about the truth written at the begining of these threads. Are you a western/ British woman ?

[Gaijin de Moscu]

I'm pry only 3-kyu myself.
熱い一っぱつ (atsui ippatsu) --> Hot shot. It's been out of circulation for at least 10 years.
ださいーダサい --> Short for だって埼玉だよ(datte Saitama dayo) This one might be a bit dated, too, but it refers to something being out of touch, out of fashion, or just plain sucking.

I had a few good laughs with my g/f about these two... she said 'umm' to the first one (mentioning the Fight Ippatsu commercial where it means 'ganbare'), and said the second one is very Tokyo... that they made 'datte Saitama' as a joke out of the commonly used 'dasai' which according to her is correct Japanese :) She's from Osaka, mind you.

Anyway. I really want to restart my Japanese... but need French here... zannen nagara.

[wonderful]

Well I'm american and I have found myself not dating american men anymore. Im currently dating a guy from the Philippines and out of all the men Ive dated he has treated me the best. He makes me feel special and treats me like a lady. Most american men that ive dated didn’t do this. Ive been told by many of them that I was a feminist. And I will admit with some of them I was. But with the guy im dating now, I find myself acting less and less like that.

All Im just saying is that the way a guy treats a lady can affect her attitude too. Just like some women have too many demands some men also do to and that goes for all ethnicities

This is just my american girl point of view.

[kuro_kitty]

Of course he's gonna treat you like an angel, you are his arm candy, he wants to show you off.

But don't expect it to last, milk him for all he's worth while you have him pussy whipped.

[wonderful]

Of course he's gonna treat you like an angel, you are his arm candy, he wants to show you off.

But don't expect it to last, milk him for all he's worth while you have him pussy whipped.


ya i know kitty. I don't look at him as marriage material. I'm just enjoying the ride.

[wonderful]

So, purely for blokey research purposes, may I ask as to whether the amount of clothes, handbags, shoes, jewellery etc has increased inline with the amount your feminist actions have dwindled?

Well yes I will admit that the way I dress has changed a little but I always been a big shopper so the amount of clothes and shoes I buy hasn't change much. As far as jewellery goes, I never been a big fan of it and I'm still not but if he gave me a ring or something I'm not going to turn it down.

[nickl]

Something I notice a lot when I go back to London is that English girls tend to show their midriffs off, seemingly more so if they have a 'builder' physique. This was more 1 or 2 years ago but the fashion was for stomach hanging over the hipster pants and cleft showing at the back. Couple this with their 'ladette' approach to life, and drinking in particular, and the picture is not pretty. Having said that there's definitely plenty of roses around too.

[kuro_kitty]

Jennifer Lopez wears track suits, you know, those velour type ones, and she looks damn hot.

[ananda]

funny how us ladies have no problems finding nice things to say about other hot babes.....guys just cant do it...i saw a eve mendez movie last night...she was looking quite fine!!! much better ___ than jlo...sorry not into her! (though i do admire her entrepreneurial spirit) now lysinlove is going to say i am a man too!!!

lysinlove stop your sledge....where is the love my friend, where is the love???

[kuro_kitty]

yeah i'm not into JLO either, but she is the one that made the 70's velour tracksuit popular again, and does look quite hot in it...Eva Mendez...hmm...wish i looked like her..damn those latin women!

[ananda]

i have been wearing those tracksuits for years!!! finally i am cool!! ha!
there is nothing like running your hands down yourself when you are in velour.....unless you rub the wrong way.....you know what i mean kitty.

[kuro_kitty]

lol yeah i know what you mean baby, it gives me creepy shivers when i rub up instead of down

[ananda]

see now you are going to be a lesbian instead of a man...hee hee

[ali_gore]

funny how us ladies have no problems finding nice things to say about other hot babes.....guys just cant do it... saw a eve mendez movie last night...she was looking quite fine!!! much better ___ than jlo...sorry not into her! (though i do admire her entrepreneurial spirit) now lysinlove is going to say i am a man too!!!

lysinlove stop your sledge....where is the love my friend, where is the love???

ya your right about that ananda. if one guy does say something nice about another guy, they’ll call them gay. not saying all but most ive been in contact with do. i really don't get it. a guy can't just give another guy a compliment. and they call us complicated

[madmaxxam]

ya your right about that ananda. if one guy does say something nice about another guy, they’ll call them gay. not saying all but most ive been in contact with do. i really don't get it. a guy can't just give another guy a compliment. and they call us complicated

Eh, only if you hang around a bunch of 'macho', immature, meatheads. I've been able to compliment guys in the past and not have the words 'gay' and 'homosexual' thrown my way. It is definately much easier for girls to compliment each other though.

[ali_gore]

Eh, only if you hang around a bunch of 'macho', immature, meatheads. I've been able to compliment guys in the past and not have the words 'gay' and 'homosexual' thrown my way. It is definately much easier for girls to compliment each other though.

so why do u say its easier for a girl to compliment each other

[madmaxxam]

so why do u say its easier for a girl to compliment each other

I just meant in terms of not taking flak, like being called 'gay', and that in Western cultures anyway it is much more common place. Not like it's physically hard for me to say something like "That guy is (insert compliment here)"

[ali_gore]

I just meant in terms of not taking flak, like being called 'gay', and that in Western cultures anyway it is much more common place. Not like it's physically hard for me to say something like "That guy is (insert compliment here)"

Im glad to hear that. And youll right the guys I "did" hang around were a bunch of 'macho', immature, meatheads. I like guys who don't mind giving another guys a compliment.

But girls don't have to be worry about being called gay. Just like most girls don't mind having gay female friends. Some guys (like the ones i mention) don't mind a gay or bi female friend but couldn't stand having a gay or bi male friend. But im sure your not like that

[Gaijin de Moscu]

I used to live with a bi-girl for several years. She once wanted to hire a female hooker in Paris. But when I said 'yeah baby' she suddently retracked. Maybe I should have controlled the sudden fire in my eyes a bit better.

She might have hired her privately later, who knows.

[madmaxxam]

I used to live with a bi-girl for several years. She once wanted to hire a female hooker in Paris. But when I said 'yeah baby' she suddently retracked. Maybe I should have controlled the sudden fire in my eyes a bit better.

She might have hired her privately later, who knows.

Ah yes, never act too excited. The woman will think that's a bit strange. "All right!! Bi-Sex!!!". I'd be a bit...


But girls don't have to be worry about being called gay. Just like most girls don't mind having gay female friends. Some guys (like the ones i mention) don't mind a gay or bi female friend but couldn't stand having a gay or bi male friend. But im sure your not like that

Don't really have any in Japan, but seeing as I went to school in NYC I have 3 or 4 gay friends back state side. They actually tend to be very fun and less inhibited than other guys. As long as they don't try too hard to get into my pants it's all good. Although I do find it flattering when I'm hit on, even by men. :)

Edit: Wow, took me 4 tries to draw that smiley... what's wrong with me?

[ali_gore]

Ah yes, never act too excited. The woman will think that's a bit strange. "All right!! Bi-Sex!!!". I'd be a bit...

Don't really have any in Japan, but seeing as I went to school in NYC I have 3 or 4 gay friends back state side. They actually tend to be very fun and less inhibited than other guys. As long as they don't try too hard to get into my pants it's all good. Although I do find it flattering when I'm hit on, even by men. :)

Edit: Wow, took me 4 tries to draw that smiley... what's wrong with me?

my friends tell me that they like when i hit one them too. i wonder why is that.

Gaijin de Moscu i get turn off too when a guy does that. its just something about a guy being overly excited about it. makes me feel like used. lol not to say that i don't mind a little fun with a guy and a girl. so my advice it to try to act like your not really interested. they'll welcome u with open arms

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Thanks for the advice guys. I know I over-reacted that time. I did threesomes a few times after that. Reasonably good fun, if you are into the purely sex sort of thing.

I am now more into warmth and closeness and luuv... only works with one partner.

[nazt]

lemonboy. some good points mate

Don't bash the man!

This is his perception of England and in a lot of intances, it holds true.

Ok, so many men have travelled to far and wide in search of a life partner. Some men have Thai or Filipino wives. Others have settled in Japan. However, the reason that some men prefer certain Japanese girls may not be because they are meek and submissive as some like to suggest. It could be that they appear to be kind, more thoughtful and respect men a lot more than some British women. They can be assertive but not aggressive and above all they are feminine, dress stylish and have a certain elegance about them.

[lemonboy]

What are you trying to say ? Are you trying to say it's a good thing western men are traveling far and wide and risking cultural problems to escape from western women or that they're misguided ?

[madmaxxam]

What are you trying to say ? Are you trying to say it's a good thing western men are traveling far and wide and risking cultural problems to escape from western women or that they're misguided ?

I think it's a good thing guys are going to other areas to find women. It creates competition. If, for example, the only thing British guys can get is British women, the British women hold all the cards and can be as mean as they want. As soon as you can say "I don't need you, I'll just get myself a nice Thai wife", and more and more British women find themselves becoming lonely old maids they'll start to change their ways. Or not.

One of my Japanese friends dated a British women. He ended up breaking up with her because she was very stingy, and selfish, and some other reasons I can't remember.

[ali_gore]

You guys make it seem like all british women are cold and dark. I only met one british women in my life and she was kind and sweet but like I said thats just one. I mean what are you guys looking for . Im a westerner (not british) but i am no where near what you guys have discribe. Ive met some asian girl who were a little obsessive too. someone talk to me and please be gentle. i am in no way attacking u. just a little lost

[nazt]

Men who come to foreign countries go there for a variety of reasons. For work , study, travel and in some cases, to find a wife/girlfriend/partner. Who knows the reason? Maybe these men have been unsuccessful with their love life in their home countries and come here and places like Thailand, Phillipines, Russia, Brazil to find a partner. They find someone and maybe get married and have children and live in their adopted countries or return to the West. Often these guys are labelled 'losers' by the judgmental majority in their home countries. Somehow they didn't fit into idea of what a man supposed to be. They find someone who sees them in a different light and they find a partner whose attributes are what they seek in a woman.

I'm afraid that for many guys, the West is a woman's market. Women hold all the cards. There are many great women in the Western countries but they are often not available. There is also a sizeable number who exhibit outright hostility to men. They can be as rude as they like as they will know another guy will be around the corner waiting. They are in demand.

At the end of the day, it's not the nationality that counts or looks, it the attitude. Both western and Japanese women can bad attitudes but there are fewer Japanese women who are as hostile as some Western women. However, they can be just as assertive but exhibit it in a much more implicit way. One which gains the respect of men.

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Well put Nazt, agree with most of your post (saying 'most' just not to generalise too much).

My experience with my one and only Japanese g/f is that she is full of assertiveness, egoism and self-love. At the same time, she fully acknowledges my right to the same. She attends to my egoistic needs with the same devotion and attention as she does to her own.

I find it very attractive. She is a very strong woman. But she is very womanly about her strength.

As one of my friends said lately (his wife is a zai-nichi Kankokujin, also a handful), my girl has balls of steel so big that she would never pass airport security. I think he gave a good description of her. You'd never say that looking at this elegant girl till you get to know her, but she has a lot of will and substance.

My experience with my Western g/fs was a bit different. Playing games with me, twisting my emotins (to hook and un-hook me), adopting feministic style, not caring about own looks and my needs... questionable personal hygiene even amongst the most educated ones.... demanding, demanding, demanding. I dumped all of them.

My g/f also demands a lot, but she gives much more; and she recently told me that she is ready to die for me... she was very serious. How many Western girls would think - and say - that.

Why should I settle for those self-absorbed stay-at-homes when I can get a fantastic lady outside? They can say what they want. Loser, whatever. I am happy.

EDIT - Disclaimer - This is purely based on my own experience with my own g/fs. Several in the West and one in Japan. No generalisations....

[lemonboy]

In my case it's not that I can't get a western girl I nailed this attractive French girl a few months back who was visiting Japan and I'm good looking. I've had plenty of girlfriends from wherever including Britain. I came to Japan and am interested in foreign women because I prefer them I prefer their attitiude towards men compared to Brit girls. Nazt said something like guys who don't fit in or don't meet the social requirements in their home country well maybe that's true in some cases. In my case it was a decision to reject the women in my home country and choose others. Nazt I don't think all cases boil down to the charisma man situation as you describe some men reject their own women not for looks but for their bad attitiude, you seem to be saying it's because they're misfits which isn't the case always (maybe sometimes, though). Look at John Lennon! He left his attractive blond English wife for an arguably less attractive Japanese woman, why because she treated his feelings with respect!



Also I believe sensitive men and mild mannered men are more likely to reject Brit women from my observations,　if you're thick skinned then maybe you'll be ok in the UK or west.

[ali_gore]

Also I believe sensitive men and mild mannered men are more likely to reject Brit women from my observations,　if you're thick skinned then maybe you'll be ok in the UK or west.

See now im wondering were u guys were when i was looking for a boyfriend. lol.

Now Ive met some of the girls you all r talk about and yes they can be some cold bit@hes.
I personaly love sensitive men but never could find one here. I dated so many guys that only wanted me for one thing and then wanted me to cater to them after. Im not saying theres nothing wrong with treating your man king but when they treat you like $hit then its time to leave.

But I can't pass judgement on u guys for what u said because I have given up on the men in my country. Ive dated a korean once. He was the most sweetest guy I met. He wasn't whiped or anything like that but he treated me as an equal and as a lady. I have yet to find a guy like that here in the states. The only reason we broke up was because his job transfer overseas but we are still good friends