Eternal Love

[Mononoke_hime]

Was reading the thread about "aishiteru" and came up with a pseudo theory about love and marriage etc. Before that, what is the divorce rate in Japan?

In my most humble opinion, I think that a marriage in the West is condemned for divorce if it is based on the phrase "I love you". Why? Because the essence of Indo-european language is the factor of TIME. When we say "I love you", "Je t'aime" or "Ich lieber dich", it is valid on that present moment only. Logically, when you dump a girl after 3 months saying that, you can have the argument of "I said I loveD you, but NOW, things are different" ... you see what I mean? The fact that we have past-tense makes us believe unconsiciously that Love is NOT eternal.

On contrary, in most Asian languages, TIME conjugation is not essential in the grammar I think? of course, "aishiteruu" can be expressed in the past tense, but aishiteru in past tense does not really have the same meaning as "i've loved you". The same goes for "Wo Ai Ni" in Chinese, no past tense in chinese... so love is meant to last for ever in Asia when we say (Aishiterru) or Wo Ai Ni.

Therefore, the usage of "Aishiteru" or "Wo Ai ni" or "Naneng Tangchineng Saranghamida" (korean), is rare and considered vulgar in Asia, coz the engagement related to this sentence is far too great to say it regularly.

my two cents euros worth...

[madmaxxam]

Huge reach. And I believe that one of the reasons that divorce is as low as it is in Japan is because of the large sense of duty to family and the kids. Does anyone else really feel that it's strange when the Japanese mothers and fathers call themselves/each other 'mother', and 'father', and not by their names, or some term of endearment. If what these couples have is eternal love, they can keep it. I'll go for my ephemeral variety.

And I do really want a woman I can be with the rest of my life, but I know that I wouldn't want a typical Japanese or Chinese marriage (from what I've seen of them).

[Gaijin de Moscu]

Interesting theory, Mononoke_hime. Definitely provocative.

Then tell me please, why does my (Japanese) girlfriend tells me she loves me every day, for the past 1 year or so? In English and in Russian. It's not a 'routine' phrase, she writes me long love letters and we have long feeling-filled conversations.

I am confused...

[Song2]

Does anyone else really feel that it's strange when the Japanese mothers and fathers call themselves/each other 'mother', and 'father', and not by their names, or some term of endearment.


No. I know plenty of Western folk who use those terms, as terms of endearment, as and when necessary.
[adopt Northern/Yorkshire accent]
'Put kettle on, Mother!'

[Mononoke_hime]

Interesting theory, Mononoke_hime. Definitely provocative.

Then tell me please, why does my (Japanese) girlfriend tells me she loves me every day, for the past 1 year or so? In English and in Russian. It's not a 'routine' phrase, she writes me long love letters and we have long feeling-filled conversations.

I am confused...
Men are really from Mars!!!! Isn't it clear that she wants you to ask her for her hand and walk down the church's aisle with a spectacular wedding gown more fabulous than Diana's rag during her marriage???

pffff!!!

[Mononoke_hime]

And I do really want a woman I can be with the rest of my life, but I know that I wouldn't want a typical Japanese or Chinese marriage (from what I've seen of them).
With the ever increasing independance of women, traditional marriage or model of marriage is condemmed. In asia, the social stigma is still to stiff to allow regular divorce to take place. So, be it an Asian or a Western marriage, nothing works.

Love is nothing but a humain way of expressing lust for sex. It's crude and lacks romantism, but I have Freud behind me ;-)

[coaxialjack]

Freud would be far happier behind you.

He seemed to have a real problem with lady parts from the front, hence his utterly ridiculous theories. Any man thinking of mummy (Maki's excluded) and castration when confronted with a nubile, legs akimbo lovely is not someone I'm going to put faith in to unravel the mysteries of the psyche;)