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  • are you happy?

    so are you? yes, you. is this where you wanted to be at whateverstage of your life? did you give it all up to go to japan (or where ever) and live? ____ it!, did you say, this is what i want to do so this is what i`m going to do. the well-paying job, the (not associated with the yakuza) benz, the HOV lane, gone so you could pursue something you`ve always wanted to do regardless what it meant sacrificing? maybe you had no previous experience as a teacher or as a video game designer or as a male whore, but did that stop you? how do you know this is it? or do you? so many questions.
    just curious, you know....

  • #2
    ??????????????????????

    So what's the point of your post, Booker?

    Are YOU happy?????????

    Comment


    • #3
      are you happy?

      Ask me day to day, everyday Ive give a different answer. Such is life .
      Last edited by JayJay; 2005-07-02, 09:52 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        i was pondering this very thought today.
        personally, i think i was raised to believe there would be a point in my life when or where i would arrive or be happy. i think this is because i somehow inferred the reason for doing something, especially an academic something, was as a means to an end.
        i've now come to believe there will never be that point but only the journey.
        however, by evaluating, and adjusting the things i do that contribute to my life, by default, i may without noticing, find myself having reached that point.

        the problem is however, because of my childhood i'm not ready to allow myself to enjoy the journey.

        if i'm not happy then what is the point of staying alive.

        to your original question, as a boy my first dream was to study and teach grammar. i did this but found it took my students all their time to get past hello much less what's an identifying relational clause.
        my second goal was to become a professional musician and join an orchestra. i did that too but found no matter how much you like your job it always comes down to how well you get along with your co-workers.

        in the end, i can only sympathise with my friend who said 'i'm not happy, but i'm happier now than i was before'.

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        • #5
          I am very happy. Glad I made the move. Glad I started my own school, should have made the move about a year earlier ... but still very happy I did.
          Glad to have sold my late model german imported car back in the states. Glad to be rid of my satellite TV which is wasted since there is no NHL.
          Glad I live in Japan, glad I enjoy japanese food. Glad glad glad. Does that answer the question ?
          On bad days I am still content, but on most days I am happy.

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          • #6
            Happiness is a mood. Right now, after a glass of wine (or a few ) and a movie, I am happy. When I play my guitar, I am happy. In the morning as I go to work I an usually unhappy. Life gives us little pieces of happiness and ____tiness everyday, its up to us to take it or leave it as it comes.
            As for Japan, I wanted to come here, and here I am. I complain sometimes (as we all do) but if I really hated it that much, I would just ____ off home.

            "Am I happy" to me is the wrong question, it should be "Am I content?" Then the answer would be, no. But do I want to be? I'm not doing exactly what I want now, but I am trying, and maybe if I achieve everything I want to do, its time to roll over and cark it. As long as I have things I want to do I will try to do them, but that doesn't mean Im unhappy.

            Well paying job? Thats not happiness to me unless I can do what I want to do. Mercedes, Cars? Well, I do splash out on material things such as entertianment, fashion and toys every now and again, but I know it wont really make me happy. As for my job back home, my degree is in music, so I hardly think my career propects are any worse here than back home.

            I have dreams, and goals, but Im hardly going to scarfise the happiness given to me day by day, by God, the Universe, fate, whatever, for some far off "end happy life". I could get hit by a car tommorrow (mostly because they never stop for me ) so whats the point? Maybe instead of worrying so much about when we'll get to our destination, we should enjoy the journey, in all its highs and lows.

            I just try to keep myself upright, do the best job I can in whatever I do (personal or professianal) and be thankful for every good time that comes my way. Maybe to be "happy" thats all we can do. Sorry, my slightly drunk 2cents, sorry if you couldnt follow.

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            • #7
              your drunk two cents were わりと inspirational.
              i don't know. here i am in boulder colorado a quarter of the way through a masters degree in japanese literature (about as useful as a degree in music, wouldst thou say) and don't really know if this is what i want to be doing. kinda want to pick up and go do what i want to do now, not what i wanted to do when i decided to quite my job at AEON. i don't know. ever see that special that was on in japan about the old man that quit his job at some big ass company to become a hairdresser? kinda like that. but not.

              Comment


              • #8
                Everything is relative.

                Gave up a stressful social work job to come to japan and spent the first year feeling guilty taking home good money (before the aussie dollar rose like a horny horn) for chewing the fat with fee-paying customers at nova, before becoming increasingly bored.

                It's easy peasy, compared to most jobs in the world, but there is always something better.

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                • #9
                  suppose there is always something better, isn\t there. do you think you made the right choice by moving to japan?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by richard
                    So what's the point of your post, Booker?

                    Are YOU happy?????????
                    i don`t know, ____, i`m trying to decide if this is what makes me happy or if i should be off doing something else. you know how it is.

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                    • #11
                      Happiness is mainly an internal thing, how you value and percieve the things that are already in your life. You unhappiness does not come from things you don't have.

                      If you're unsatisfied with your life, find a new one... study Japanese, start making music, drink more, get a new girlfriend, make new friends, post on Gaijin pot, travel more....

                      make some changes in your life, even if they're, small you'll feel good that your taking steps to move forward.

                      Your unhappiness is almost certainly 90& you and 10% your environment/circumstances. It could be an emotional issue. A lot of people through trauma, emotional suppression from family, self esteem issues, are unable to connect with people and simply feel good even when things are great, so they blame their circumstances and don't look at the internal process of how they relate to the world.

                      if you think that you could be doing more with your life back home then look into it and make a decision to stay in Japan or go home, simple as that. I don't think it would be much different unless you changed yourself rather than where you live. You would continue to look at what you don't have rather than what you do, recipe for eternal dissapointment.

                      I met a french guy a few years ago who said he thought Japan was a bit of a trap. "It's so easy to live here but there's no future etc." I pointed out to him that these "traps" also happen in your home country. You commit to a specific industry or profession only to realize you don't enjoy it a few years down the road or the market has changed and your skills aren't so useful. so I don't think Japan is that unusual.

                      As an aside though, if you came over here to work for am Eikeiwa, the excitment has worn off and now you are neither enjoying Japan nor making much money I would consider developing your skills further. Personally, I feel that I need to be saving and investing money on a regular monthly basis to keep things moving forward in my life financially. Down the road if I want to pull the plug and get out of Japan, i'll have the cash to move on, re-train, start a business or chill out in Thailand for a couple of years. This gives me a lot of peace of mind, I enjoy Japan a lot more.

                      Back to the original issue...

                      Your world (circumstances and experience), believe it or not, is largely a reflection of you. To some extent the world is a mirror of how you see yourself. Of course "reality" is out there, ups and downs happen, but the key issue is not what happens but how you percieve and respond to these events.

                      CBM

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                      • #12
                        thanks, cbm, if that is your real name. just so you know, i`m out of japan. home. studying for an MA. but it just doesn`t excite me anymore. so i think to myself, why not stop and go do what i want to do. but then i think to myself, if i quit school, i`ll owe them all the money they`ve given me, my undergrad deferments will stop, i`ll disappoint my professors now and my professors from undergrad that told me to go to CU Boulder in the first place, and perhaps what scares (?) me most is that i`d be going back to the begining to try to do something that, who knows, i could very well not be cut out for.
                        my ma`s in j`ese lit. i can do it. i know. i`m good at the things one mus be good at to succeed in this field. so does that mean i should stay? should the fear of failure and humiliation keep me here? half of me says that an MA takes but two (more) years, so i could stick it out and see what happens. but the other half says that the clock ticks life away (it`s so unreal...) and i`d better start trying to do something with my life. you know how it is....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Ok Booker this is an attempt to give you a serious answer to your query. You are posting from Boulder after having returned to the US from this country and so I wonder why you post to us here thousands of miles away. I would imagine that perhaps you still feel you have ties to this country and therefore wish to get input or opinions from those of us who live here? My comments are not meant as a criticism but just wondering. Why not ask others around you there in the States?

                          But having said that, I think it is the truly unanswerable question of all humankind, "what is happiness?" You could read hundreds of philosphy books and study this or study that body of thought and still come up empty handed and your heart will still feel empty. I could probably say to you, "hey Booker you should study this thought or join that group or take up religion in whatever form you wish," and still you may not find your answer. It is tough for us sitting thousands of miles away to give advice and especially on a question that is at the heart (literally) of the human existence. If you extend this question, you could then ask, "why was I born?" or "what is the purpose of my existence?" Tough questions.

                          And there will be many who will give you their take or philosophy on life and still you may not be satisfied. Should you stop your MA studies in mid-stream? Dunno. But a suggestion might be, why not take a short break from them (if possible) and then make the decision later whether to continue or not - just a suggestion.

                          A long time ago a friend of mine said, "kokoro o shizumete, homono o miru," or roughly translated, "quiet your heart and look for the real (thing/situation....) What is real or what is the real thing? The question begs an answer because it is only YOU who can answer it.......

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Booker
                            thanks, cbm, if that is your real name. just so you know, i`m out of japan. home. studying for an MA. but it just doesn`t excite me anymore. so i think to myself, why not stop and go do what i want to do. but then i think to myself, if i quit school, i`ll owe them all the money they`ve given me, my undergrad deferments will stop, i`ll disappoint my professors now and my professors from undergrad that told me to go to CU Boulder in the first place, and perhaps what scares (?) me most is that i`d be going back to the begining to try to do something that, who knows, i could very well not be cut out for.
                            my ma`s in j`ese lit. i can do it. i know. i`m good at the things one mus be good at to succeed in this field. so does that mean i should stay? should the fear of failure and humiliation keep me here? half of me says that an MA takes but two (more) years, so i could stick it out and see what happens. but the other half says that the clock ticks life away (it`s so unreal...) and i`d better start trying to do something with my life. you know how it is....

                            Booker. I have no answer for the existential questions in life, should you stay should you go.

                            One thing to keep in mind, is that whereever you go, whether its japan, europe or central Africa, you will always carry "baggage" with you. Not the carry on kind, but if you drop out of school, bugger off and escape to somewhere because thats where you think you ought to go, all you will do is carry your uncompleted degree with you, have this nagging guilt about not finishing it or leaving things undone. Get to my age and Richards age, and finishing a degree when you have wife and kids it becomes nigh impossible. Life has a nasty way of getting in the way of chasing your dreams.

                            Whatever you do, before you decide to take off, bring closure to whatever it is you are doing, be it breaking up with your girlfriend quitting your job or moving across the state. Dont do that and all you do is bring your previous life with you as baggage.

                            You say an MA takes 2 years. I have been working on a phD degree for the last 4 years and have another 2 years to go, the time has flown and I dont even feel like Ive begun yet. Try fitting it in when you have a job and kids running around and noise.

                            You have another 30-40 years of working life ahead of you (clock is ticking... what you going to not be able to kids soon? Richard and I are twice your age and still going strong) , and you can only do it when you are single and no commitments like a wife and kids. Forget about finding yourself overseas becuase all we are doing over here is 9-5 in a rather exotic location. Grass is alwways greener somewhere else. im in Kyoto and would LOVE to be in Boulder near the mountains and ski slopes rather than this goldfish bowl we call home.


                            Get the frigging degree and bring closure to what you are doing. Japan can wait, its not going anywhere, and besides, with a BA that are about as common as bubblegum wrappers here you need decent qualifications to get decent jobs and you may not get another chance. Its not any better over here I can assure you, and in fact things are steadily getting worse. Im packing my parachute as I speak.

                            Quit the degree if you want, its your life, but thats what would do if it were me.
                            Last edited by paulh; 2005-07-03, 07:02 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              hey booker, are you able to defer your degree?

                              actually i deferred a masters of music a few years ago. i thought well i'm already working as a player and teacher so there was no financial point to continue studying. i was half way through the course and deferred. i went overseas teaching and realised i didn't enjoy the course so i withdrew from the degree.
                              i've never once regertted the decision.

                              if you take some time off - say 6 months to a year - you could possibly find what you're interested in.

                              if not, just go back and finish. something young people never realise is that understanding cannot be rushed.

                              good luck

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