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The things they don't tell you before you come.

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  • The things they don't tell you before you come.

    Japan is harsh. Harsh doesn't even do it justice. Two months it took me to get a job. 3 trips to the big city to find an apartment, multiple nights hotel and food each time. Finding out how much it costs for an apartment hurts, but I survived that. Finding out my fiancee had to pay $2,000 for pension, I survived that. Finding out I had to pay $2,000 for pension, ouch, but survived that too. Finding out tonight that my fiancee has to pay $300 private medical insurance and $200 national insurance a month, after mailing my apartment contract today, I can't survive. I hope I can call and cancel before they receive the contract. Then I have to cancel my job and find a new one in her parent's city where I will be living with her parents. I can't afford $4,000 first month rent, plus $530 rent each month plus utilities plus $4,000 pension, plus $500 insurance each month. Have some mercy.

    I read all the stories, I didn't think it could be true, that everything is so different here, that your relationships change, the women change. I thought after 3 years I knew my fiancee. I thought I could survive Japan. Beginning to have my first doubts. So much work for nothing. So much for a "free" working holiday visa. Not so much of a holiday.
    Last edited by TeRReT; 2012-04-10, 03:19 AM.

  • #2
    Are you saying that with all the information widely available on the Internet, you didn't know some of this basic info, like apartment fees?

    Could this be the reason? "I read all the stories, I didn't think it could be true".

    Why do you have to have private medical insurance and NHI, BTW, especially on a working holiday visa?

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    • #3
      I can't afford $4,000 first month rent, plus $530 rent each month plus utilities plus $4,000 pension, plus $500 insurance each month
      2,000 pension a month or year?

      Does your fiance work at all?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
        Japan is harsh. Harsh doesn't even do it justice. Two months it took me to get a job. 3 trips to the big city to find an apartment, multiple nights hotel and food each time. Finding out how much it costs for an apartment hurts, but I survived that. Finding out my fiancee had to pay $2,000 for pension, I survived that. Finding out I had to pay $2,000 for pension, ouch, but survived that too. Finding out tonight that my fiancee has to pay $300 private medical insurance and $200 national insurance a month, after mailing my apartment contract today, I can't survive. I hope I can call and cancel before they receive the contract. Then I have to cancel my job and find a new one in her parent's city where I will be living with her parents. I can't afford $4,000 first month rent, plus $530 rent each month plus utilities plus $4,000 pension, plus $500 insurance each month. Have some mercy.

        I read all the stories, I didn't think it could be true, that everything is so different here, that your relationships change, the women change. I thought after 3 years I knew my fiancee. I thought I could survive Japan. Beginning to have my first doubts. So much work for nothing. So much for a "free" working holiday visa. Not so much of a holiday.

        guess what! i will not get any easier. there are no yearly pay raises and your only alternative is to take on MORE work, or change jobs to get a higher salary! take a look at your co-workers... no travel, no new clothes, cheap housing, eating cheaply all the time, occassionally going out to drink. Yea, I want THAT life!

        you are suffering from culture clash. you foolishly expected everything here to be just the same as in your home country! you should have done your homework, and not used the little head to do all the decision making!!

        life is harsh!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
          The things they don't tell you before you come.

          "I really want cute haafu baby."

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
            Finding out my fiancee had to pay $2,000 for pension, I survived that. ... Finding out tonight that my fiancee has to pay $300 private medical insurance and $200 national insurance a month, after mailing my apartment contract today, I can't survive. I hope I can call and cancel before they receive the contract. Then I have to cancel my job and find a new one in her parent's city where I will be living with her parents.
            ... So much work for nothing. So much for a "free" working holiday visa. Not so much of a holiday.
            Thanks for the reality check. That should be made a 'sticky' post. Just two things :
            + Why are YOU paying your fiancee's pension and insurance ?
            + The 'Work and Travel' visa is designed for what it says - working and travelling, but not to sustain a family. Things will get worse if you get kids (e.g. your wife cannot/will not work).

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            • #7
              The things they don't tell you before you come.

              manhole covers are everywhere and slippery as hell.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ttokyo View Post
                Thanks for the reality check. That should be made a 'sticky' post. Just two things :
                + Why are YOU paying your fiancee's pension and insurance ?
                + The 'Work and Travel' visa is designed for what it says - working and travelling, but not to sustain a family. Things will get worse if you get kids (e.g. your wife cannot/will not work).
                I don't have to pay for her pension or insurance, but its whether our combined income can afford all the expenses and be able to save money. She is ok with working and wants to work, but her mother is very old school and was surprised to hear she was going to work and that she was going to pay half the rent. Her mother thought when we marry I would pay all the bills and she could quit working. Unfortunately thats not viable at this time.

                We were going to have a joint account with a percentage of both of our income going in there, and using it as a savings and to pay for expenses. Her old job was in a hospital and they paid for her pension and for her national insurance. She would rather not go back to that job, and I am fine with the added expense, and even willing to take on the new $500, just it will make things more difficult and now she is upset that I didn't know all of her expenses when she didn't explain them.

                Now I am living the wrath of an angry Japanese, living in her mom's house, hoping to move out in 2 days but now that might be on hold or cancelled. I am willing to do the work and make more money and I knew before of many of the expenses, but in general there have still been many surprises.

                It costs a hell of a lot more then expected, even delving into emergency money. I will start to work soon, but It will be awhile before I can make the money her mom expects.

                Everything costs money and takes three times longer then expected and with more paperwork then i've ever seen.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
                  ...Everything costs money and takes three times longer then expected and with more paperwork then i've ever seen.
                  I am pretty sure that very sentence is engraved above the door between baggage claim and the passenger pick up area at Narita airport -- both terminal ONE and terminal TWO. you must have just missed it....

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by well_bicyclically View Post
                    I am pretty sure that very sentence is engraved above the door between baggage claim and the passenger pick up area at Narita airport -- both terminal ONE and terminal TWO. you must have just missed it....
                    Damn, I came in Kansaii

                    Its just frustrating and I'm just venting. I'll get through it all, everybody here has experienced all the fun of everything here, I was just pressed too far last night.

                    I am fortunate that I have been able to come here, that I have been able to afford to be here and get an apartment with her and that I was able to get a job here relatively quickly. So I am happy for that. I just gotta work on learning the language a lot more. Its also frustrating for my fiancee because not only has there been a lot of paperwork and things to do, but she's had to do it all because I am not fluent enough yet.

                    Of course the fact I did all the paperwork and sorted everything out including getting her a job in Canada and Australia doesn't cross her mind, and if I were ever to mention that I'd see a hell nobody has ever seen. The wrath of a Japanese woman is worse then the paperwork I've just gone through.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Glenski View Post
                      Are you saying that with all the information widely available on the Internet, you didn't know some of this basic info, like apartment fees?

                      Could this be the reason? "I read all the stories, I didn't think it could be true".

                      Why do you have to have private medical insurance and NHI, BTW, especially on a working holiday visa?
                      There's a hell of a lot of information available on the internet, I tried to find what was relevant to me, but I obviously missed some.

                      There was no mention of pension in any of the working holiday sites I visited.

                      And its not me that needs medical insurance, its my fiancee who is native Japanese that needs it.

                      Its all stuff we will get through, I was just venting at 3am after I'd just found out about an additional $6,000 I didn't know about and couldn't sleep.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Genkii View Post
                        2,000 pension a month or year?

                        Does your fiance work at all?
                        $2,000 pension a year for each of us.

                        And she will start to work once we move in 2 days, but she is looking for a less taxing job then she used to have, so they won't be paying her pension or insurance for her.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
                          She is ok with working and wants to work, but her mother is very old school and was surprised to hear she was going to work and that she was going to pay half the rent. Her mother thought when we marry I would pay all the bills and she could quit working.
                          I can't stress enough that you should talk to your wife and find out if this is her way of thinking as well, and not just her mothers. It's by no means an old-school way of thinking in Japan. Ask about when you have children also - she may be willing to work when you get married, but expecting not to work after you have children. That's what happened with my wife, which I wasn't expecting. I was ok with it, because I actually preferred to have her at home with my boy rather than giving my boy to someone else to raise every day, but the point is that I had discussed working after marriage with my wife, not realizing that working after children was a different subject altogether.

                          Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
                          We were going to have a joint account with a percentage of both of our income going in there
                          I think that joint accounts don't exist in Japan. I've never tried to start one, but I seem to remember reading that.

                          Originally posted by TeRReT View Post
                          Of course the fact I did all the paperwork and sorted everything out including getting her a job in Canada and Australia doesn't cross her mind, and if I were ever to mention that I'd see a hell nobody has ever seen.
                          That, my friend, is the way to becoming a whipped and beaten man. Ask Kansai Ben for more info on this subject. If you hold off on saying things that are true because she will flip, in the end you have to hold off on saying everything. You need to tell her straight up that you know it sucks that she has to do the paperwork, because you did the exact same thing for her. Sympathize with the actions, while removing blame.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Effected After View Post
                            I can't stress enough that you should talk to your wife and find out if this is her way of thinking as well, and not just her mothers. It's by no means an old-school way of thinking in Japan. Ask about when you have children also - she may be willing to work when you get married, but expecting not to work after you have children. That's what happened with my wife, which I wasn't expecting. I was ok with it, because I actually preferred to have her at home with my boy rather than giving my boy to someone else to raise every day, but the point is that I had discussed working after marriage with my wife, not realizing that working after children was a different subject altogether.


                            I think that joint accounts don't exist in Japan. I've never tried to start one, but I seem to remember reading that.


                            That, my friend, is the way to becoming a whipped and beaten man. Ask Kansai Ben for more info on this subject. If you hold off on saying things that are true because she will flip, in the end you have to hold off on saying everything. You need to tell her straight up that you know it sucks that she has to do the paperwork, because you did the exact same thing for her. Sympathize with the actions, while removing blame.
                            The last sentence is generally my downfall. That one phrase could safe me so much grief. I will endeavour to do as such.

                            As for joint, its not really join, just a bank account in my name that we'll both have access to.

                            And she definitely wants to work now, its not decided yet when we have kids, but i suspect she'd take some time off and then work again eventually. But definitely I need to talk to her more about that.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I hope she's really hot.
                              Oh and prepare to dine in hell.
                              You're in Japanland now.
                              The winter was just a prelude.
                              Muahaha..

                              "One of us..One of us..One of us..."

                              ~The Hyaku en store chant

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