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  • Single or Partnered?

    Couples like to do stuff together right? But do you really think coming to Japan together is a good option? Who has more fun when they get to Japan? Singles or couples? Let`s hear some honesty from people who are/were in both positions....

  • #2
    I came to Japan married. Our marriage was already with cracks though.

    She hated Japan... she was really DEMANDING we leave asap. She was almost feverish about that - wherever, at whatever cost, but out of Japan and fast. At some point, I was even going to quit my company to comply with her push, emigrate to Australia, return to Europe... she was pushing hard.

    But then... I re-looked at my life's priorities, and we divorced. She left Japan before I can say 'alimonies'.

    Then I found my current girlfriend. If things go as planned (and who knows if it's a good thing or not?) I will be with her soon.

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    • #3
      de Moscu, I have a feeling that your story is more common than you think. That`s why I asked about it. I reckon loads of guys come over here with their girlfriends and then see the way it is between j-girls and foreigners and just can`t help themselves. Must tear them up inside. A fair bit of cute game to play but too bad about the chain and ball. Do you think it is ethical to break up with your foreign girlfriend after arriving in Japan just so you can go out with Japanese girls?

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      • #4
        Yes, I hear my story is common, even though none of the 90+ expatriates that I worked with in Japan did that (as far as I know). I know one guy divorced his Chinese wife and then met with a red-haired Aussie...

        Just for the record, I did not divorce my wife to be with Japanese girls. We divorced because of many reasons, and Japanese girls were the last thing on my mind.

        I was amazed though with the speed I found a new g/f.

        Generally speaking, it's unethical to divorce for some generic 'girls' of course. But if you are at that stage in your relations when you can do that... divorce can be the right solution anyway, to prevent you from turning into an ero-jiji with desperate bloodshot eyes.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by teka
          Do you think it is ethical to break up with your foreign girlfriend after arriving in Japan just so you can go out with Japanese girls?
          Oh come onnnnnnn...if you reeeeeeeally love her you won't be looking or tempted, would ya?

          Life is too short to live a lie...be honest with your partners, people...if you being with one another is not fun for most of the time, and conversation is a hardship, then why delay the inevitable?

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          • #6
            Ok let me you tell you an example of a couple I know who came over to Osaka from New Zealand. The guy was a rugby player and the girl was a cute blonde who would have been hot in her mid teens but was at that time starting to pack on those western fat rolls. They arrive get hooked up in their accomodation and start teaching. And woe and behold, the thick as a brick rugby player who normally wouldn`t get any interest from girls back home is all of a sudden getting all this attention from young girls in Japan. So the inevitable happens. The NZ g?f gets less attention. The rugby guy goes out and parties. Girl goes back to NZ broken hearted. Guy stays in Japan to do the story everyone knows.

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            • #7
              I came here with long term boyfriend and we party even harder now and our sex life is much better! Must be the futons!

              He's not interested in Japanese girls at all and I trust him when he tells me this.

              Of course we've had rough patches with all the stress and frustration and that, but I'd say this journey has made our 5+ years relationship even stronger.

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              • #8
                Kitty-chan you are either:
                1. as hot as your avatar ,or,
                2. making more of an effort to compete with the j-girls, or,
                3. got your man by the balls so he can`t twitch an inch.

                Any which way he`s on to a winner.

                On the other hand, your man is either:
                1. pictured alongside the definition of a baboon`s arse in the dictionary, or,
                2. has bad B.O. in class, or,
                3. pictured alongside a wall of drying paint in the dictionary.

                Any which way you can be sure he is safe from those gaijin hunting j-girls.

                Haha I`m joking. Just picturing you about to blow your top.

                But, let me ask you this, can you be so sure he isn`t imaging all those other cuties beyond his grasp when he is going that extra mile in the sack? I`m a guy and I`d say nope.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by teka
                  Kitty-chan you are either:
                  1. as hot as your avatar ,or,
                  2. making more of an effort to compete with the j-girls, or,
                  3. got your man by the balls so he can`t twitch an inch.

                  Any which way he`s on to a winner.

                  On the other hand, your man is either:
                  1. pictured alongside the definition of a baboon`s arse in the dictionary, or,
                  2. has bad B.O. in class, or,
                  3. pictured alongside a wall of drying paint in the dictionary.

                  Any which way you can be sure he is safe from those gaijin hunting j-girls.

                  Haha I`m joking. Just picturing you about to blow your top.

                  But, let me ask you this, can you be so sure he isn`t imaging all those other cuties beyond his grasp when he is going that extra mile in the sack? I`m a guy and I`d say nope.
                  Hahaha.
                  Now that's funny.
                  Please keep my mind filled with images of these "other cuties". I'm a guy and my libido is takes over with fantasy when my mind isn't making plans for being in Japan next year. I might be considered closer to the items in the second list and nothing will ever happen, but everyone needs fantasies right?

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                  • #10
                    Kuro_kitty, I believe you.

                    Actually, as to myself, I imagine having sex with every single pretty girl I meet (or see in the street). The very first thought which crosses my mind when I am talking to a woman - socially or in business - is 'will I sleep with her'.

                    Recently, the answer is 100% 'nah...' because I am firmly in love. I think the women feel that I am 'safe' and I actually have better relations with them.

                    I told this to my g/f for a laugh, when we were chatting about faithfulness, and she could not believe me. She said she never thinks like that when talking to men. Apart from me, she said, there was only one guy - a VERY masculine and rich Scottish top manager in our company, all our ladies melt when he's in the vicinity or when his irresistible accented and confident voice is in the air - who inspired these thoughts in her head.

                    So... there we go.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by teka
                      Kitty-chan you are either:
                      1. as hot as your avatar ,or,
                      2. making more of an effort to compete with the j-girls, or,
                      3. got your man by the balls so he can`t twitch an inch.

                      Any which way he`s on to a winner.

                      On the other hand, your man is either:
                      1. pictured alongside the definition of a baboon`s arse in the dictionary, or,
                      2. has bad B.O. in class, or,
                      3. pictured alongside a wall of drying paint in the dictionary.

                      Any which way you can be sure he is safe from those gaijin hunting j-girls.

                      Haha I`m joking. Just picturing you about to blow your top.

                      But, let me ask you this, can you be so sure he isn`t imaging all those other cuties beyond his grasp when he is going that extra mile in the sack? I`m a guy and I`d say nope.
                      Nah, he's not like that at all because...
                      1. Yes I'm as hot as my avatar, but with long blonde hair (and slightly smaller boobies)
                      2. I don't need to compete with anyone, people try to compete with me...why would I be jealous of J-Girls who are pale and short, caked with make-up and have really bad teeth
                      3. Yes....you hit the nail on the head, i do have my boy by the balls....big time! LOL

                      Why would I blow my top? I have no insecurities when it comes to J Girls...at all. I think most of them are quite cute and I enjoy their friendship, but in no way am I worried about them hunting and stealing my man.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Enjoyment 1 to 3

                        K-Kitty, I reckon you must have him in whips and chains too, Please tell me its true,

                        I am gonna tell you my own experience seeing as I asked the question.

                        I was with g/f for a long long time before I decided on coming to Japan. But I decided to come here alone. Kind of like a last chance to be on my own before making a final commitment. I knew nothing of the way it was here. Just that I could teach English and no Japanese was required. So me and my girl decided we would stay together but live apart. She went to England, being a newly graduated real teacher. I came to Japan and set about my plan as intended. For the whole entire year I was in Japan I was faithful, never cheating once. It was comfortable as I didn`t chase girls and always just told everyone my girl was in England. But eventually I grew distant from my girlfriend so eventually when she arrived to see me in Japan I broke up with her 3 days later. Harsh yes. But after so long I had no courage to break up over the phone or by internet. A lose/lose situation. But since then I have met some nice girls in Japan. But I am never sure it was the right thing to do. Maybe no one will know me as well as my ex did after 5 years. And there was more strength of character in her than I find in Japanese girls. I have a world of experience and when I am in a relationship I always feel like a teacher. But then I have no shoulder to lean on in return.

                        Japanese don`t acquire as high a degree of maturity until much later, compared with other countries.

                        But to come back to the original question, who has more fun when they come to Japan, single guys have that one hands down without a doubt. This would be my list of highest enjoyment to least enjoyment:
                        1. single guys
                        2. couples
                        3. single girls.
                        So needless to say the wisest move would have been to call a spade a spade and come here with no ties. But it`s not necessarily a Japanese thing it`s a long distance relationship thing. Difficult in anyone`s books.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          My fiance and I came to Japan from Canada 2 years ago.. we were on a holiday Visa.. I had been here as a high school student and loved it and dragged him over here.. We are loving it here together.. in fact we even eloped.. We are going to go home next year, just because we want to buy a house together, but have plans to return.
                          As for single people having more fun.. I think that all depends on the relationship you have with your partner. WE have a ton of fun, but I trust my fiance with all my heart and vice versa, so we dont care who the other person hangs out with.
                          I think it all depends on you. Some couples are doing wonderful, while others, maybe whose base of their relationship isnt rock solid, are tempted and end up breaking up for the greener grass...

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