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How do I meet Japanese guys?

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  • How do I meet Japanese guys?

    Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

    Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

    To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.

  • #2
    Plenty of decent Japanese guys out there

    Originally posted by satsumagirl2005
    Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

    Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

    To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.
    Hey,

    Not much advice on where, but from what I know of most decent Japanese guys, they are interested in almost anything but sex.

    When my ex (from Canada) and I moved to Japan, she was very jealous of all the Jpn girls. Funny thing was, she started dating one of her students on the sly, while I was being Captain Faithful. I met him a few times, and he seemed like a nice guy. Older, dorky, and a bit awkward, but nice. I suppose he had to be, as he already knew who I was.

    So, anyways, after the truth came out, she moved in with him, and within three months was back at my door, drunk, stoned and horny as a toad, complaining that except for the sex, he was The One (i.e. enough money, patience, and desperation to put up with the whiney, lyeing b#"$ch), so we started a weekly thing, then a twice weekly thing, then an almost daily thing, and one day he followed her back to my place, and when she got home, confronted her with it. It turns out they had got engaged, he had bought a house, a big fat ring, the whole damn thing.

    He was crushed by her duplicity: kicked her out, sold the house for a song, took back the ring and threw it away (so she says), and packed up and left for his hometown almost overnight. Poor _______, the thing he couldn't get over was that the cruel _______ had told him how much bigger I was, and he couldn't get over the idea that he could never saisfy her, so he never tried.

    I hope he got over it. I was a bit put off by her treatment of me, but I got mine back: the morning after she got kicked out by her BF, I changed my locks (she had a key), went on a long holiday, and left her out in the cold. Never spoke to her again, though I think I saw her somewhere near the mall last year, back at home. She was fat as a horse.

    This had nothing to do with what you asked about, did it?

    Sorry.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by satsumagirl2005
      Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys?
      Just as you meet any other guys really... I remember meeting one really nice guy on the metro, he just talked up to me while I was reading a book.

      Originally posted by satsumagirl2005
      What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?
      either improve our japanese or find somebody who speaks good english there is really no third way.

      Originally posted by satsumagirl2005
      Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?
      just watch him and you'll know. also, better start as 'friends'. There is no notion of that here anyway, but if it's proper dating at first you'll feel as if you are just friends.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by theotherguy
        Not much advice on where, but from what I know of most decent Japanese guys, they are interested in almost anything but sex.
        It really depends.

        Satsumagirl, don't believe what the guys here will tell you, unless you are talking to gays

        Comment


        • #5
          Connection. Word of mouth. Via Internet:
          http://www.being-a-broad.com/
          http://www.mynippon.com/
          http://www.thepinkcow.com/
          etc., etc., ...

          Don't worry - they'll come & hit on you till you drop dead ;-)

          In fact I'm half Japanese ... interested? :-D

          Originally posted by satsumagirl2005
          Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

          Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

          To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.

          Comment


          • #6
            I met my J-guy at a guest-house.

            Even though I didn't speak Japanese and he didn't speak much English at all, it wasn't a problem. Initially we both intended out relationship to be a fling, but it's been two years so far!!!

            I made the move on him...well basically I gave him incredibly strong come-on signals and took up the offer.

            Piece of advice though - a little flirting in front of other people is fine, but keep the obvious come-ons to a time when the both of you are alone together. Even if it is a fleeting couple of seconds, just time for you to flutter your eyelashes or whatever it is you do. This is just to save any embarrassment. If he is interested he will also somehow arrange to be in the kitchen or passing in the hall same time as you, hee hee! Oh those games were fun!! Sorry...just reminiscing...

            Just about all my western female friends have japanese boyfriends and this is how they met:

            - at her friend's party
            - was introduced to her guy through one of her Japanese friends
            - they both frequented the same type of live shows and noticed each other
            - at a nightclub
            - he was one of her students
            - a dating party (gokon I think it's called??) arranged by one of her female Japanese friends

            My advice is to make as many friends as possible with Japanese people and get the word out that you like J-guys and are looking for a bofriend (most people assume that western women are not intersted in Japanese guys). People here love to arrange hook-ups and I know they'll jump at the chance to have bragging rights about arranging a foreign woman with a Japanese guy!

            Comment


            • #7
              Japanese guys

              April:
              Thank you for all of your great advice. Especially where/how you & your friends have met Japanese guys and how to flirt appropriately.

              And thank you everyone for writing here.
              _____________________________
              I don't mind improving my Japanese. It is just that learning a language takes time. But I'll put in the effort.

              Maybe I will try chatting up a few Japanese guys in English at first and see how things go from there. The problem is I am the shy type. But I have to try to overcome that not matter what country I am living in.

              I don't mind starting things out as "friends". People have got to get along well to make a relationship work it is true. However I don't want to get stuck into the "friends trap" either.

              With Japanese guys I guess that I am always feeling crushed by the assumption, rightfully or wrongfully, that Japanese guys only want to date Japanese girls. I wonder if there is a way to know if a Japanese guy is single and interested in western women or not.

              Wow so I guess Japanese guys are assuming that gaijin women aren't interested in them. What is with all this assuming?
              ____________________________________
              To theotherguy:
              Well your experience was interesting anyways.

              To m2pi:
              Yes I have the book "Being A Broad in Japan"...just got to find it again. Not sure about the other links?? What are you driving at my friend?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by April
                I made the move on him...well basically I gave him incredibly strong come-on signals and took up the offer.
                In my case, I didn't even realize we were dating before he started getting physical. Btw, watch for him to ask you if you have a boyfriend.

                Originally posted by April
                Just about all my western female friends have japanese boyfriends and this is how they met:

                - at her friend's party
                - was introduced to her guy through one of her Japanese friends
                - they both frequented the same type of live shows and noticed each other
                - at a nightclub
                - he was one of her students
                - a dating party (gokon I think it's called??) arranged by one of her female Japanese friends
                a friend of mine is happily married (5 yrs now) after meeting her beau through a european dating website.

                Originally posted by April
                most people assume that western women are not intersted in Japanese guys
                That is so true... Even if you don't want a whole bunch of people involved in arranging hook-ups for you, it's enough to somehow casually mention to him 'the special one' that you are intrigued by Japanese guys.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Japanese Guys

                  Cool. I will try telling a nice Japanese guy that I find Japanese guys "interesting" or something to that effect.

                  To: Kyle Cartwright

                  What you said is pretty funny! But guys getting manicures? I am not sure I can believe that until I see it with my own eyes.

                  Maybe I could relate to Japanese guys. I am pretty hard to get to know as well. Must be the shy thing.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    that just so strange ! i wonder why japanese guys assumed that western women prefer western men ^^ like everywhere and in every countries, there'r really handsome,sexy and interesting specimens among japanese men!
                    but caus' they're shy that's sometimes hard to know what they're thinking!=(
                    don't worry satsumagirl ! you'll find the best

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Reply

                      Yes I believe that. I am ready to meet lots of guys like that.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by AV
                        a friend of mine is happily married (5 yrs now) after meeting her beau through a european dating website.
                        .
                        Wow, are those postal bride sites still operating?
                        I thought the Russian government had closed them down.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by scipio
                          Wow, are those postal bride sites still operating?
                          I thought the Russian government had closed them down.
                          I don't know about bride sites, but I think a lot of people are meeting their significant others on the internet these days.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by scipio
                            Wow, are those postal bride sites still operating?
                            I thought the Russian government had closed them down.
                            No! They haven't. And if they did they would just reappear as something else advertising the same services.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by satsumagirl2005
                              Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

                              Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

                              To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.
                              Ask Person. She is the fount of almost all wisdom in this area.

                              Comment

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