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When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

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  • When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

    Disgusting, Absolutely disgusting!

    ...but absolutely true.


  • #2
    Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

    How is this different from other countries?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

      Very Different. Take your pick (country).

      Your Mama got married and still worked. Right?

      Mine did. (non japan)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

        In Japan, some mothers work as well......albeit the percentage is not nearly as high as western countries. There are plenty of women in the US, Canada etc. etc. etc. who would prefer to marry than to work. Big deal.....thats their choice, and some husbands may prefer to have a wife that stays at home raising the kids (if thats not full time work, I don't know what is), taking care of the house and so on......In Japan, the majority of stay at home moms run the show. They rule the house, they take care of paying the bills, taking care of the kids, cooking, the list goes on......

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

          My mother is a Japanese national and she worked before during and after my brother and myself were conceived. This maybe because she is Okinawan which makes her not truly Japanese.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

            "[My mother] worked before during and after my brother and myself were conceived."

            "during"???

            Truly, this is admirable multi-tasking.

            COC

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            • #7
              Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

              It`s a left hemisphere/right hemisphere thing, you wouldn`t understand.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                Again I agree with Westsan. If the guy knows up front that's the deal ok, but a few guys I know were blindsided. Even when the chick has an education and earning capacity often she wants to stay home and take 'photography lessons' and have coffee mornings...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                  aaahh the blindside!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                    I think a women whom ever she is Japanese Or Western, Or Japaanese-American, etc. Each one or women needs a sense of individuality for her own well-being. Staying at home doing nothing is un-healthy, but It is a preference issue I think. Regardless of how much my J-Husband earns, I still work because it is good for me. It is good for my own self worth, being, and confidence. I think it is a preferernce issue, and I do not agree with some women`s preferences, one is staying at home doing nothing! I do know where you are coming from, I can name a few of my close friends who do just that. To be a confident women you need to at least have some "Independence"! Just my opinion!



                    Oh well. For each person, or women in this case, it depends on what makes them happy!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                      Digital girl you sound like many motivated (non-J) women. Good on you.

                      The interesting thing is that J-men I think are probably a great bargain for LAZY foreign women (though much less so for the motivated kind). Since J-men have this whole Samurai spirit thing going, and being the inverse of J-girls, they would probably have no probs working their balls off and giving their wives all their money, with which to buy Louis Vuitton and other essentials...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                        Yes, so true! My husband bought me a gift for my birthday (LV) I wanted to fit in with my J-Girlfriends. It was just nice and lovely. However I got a different feeling when I was able to buy my own LV nearly over 700.00 it was a proud and nice feeling. Regardless of how much money we have or do not have an LV purse is expensive! I think a husband and wife should be a partnership, but I do understand that Samurai J-guy as my husband tends to be the more independant I become, but what is most important is we lean on each other.



                        Thank you for you nice kind regards and great comments!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                          Paying 70,000 yen for a purse gave you a sense of well-being?

                          "to fit in with my Japanese girlfriends"

                          A very admirable goal, indeed.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                            Well, I would not say a sense of well-being! It is just something a bit "Catty"I found myself doing since living here. I am not one to usually follow the crowd, and I just tried to use the LV situaion as an example. But, yes being able to BUY one myself on my own, gave me a sense of well-being. I admit, that I try to fit in some like anyone else, but if feels good to do it myself instead of always having my husband take care of those needs! How about you. Did you find yourself bending your rules a little bit? To try to fit in?

                            Kind Regards

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: When J-Girls dont wanna work they marry

                              back in my cubicle here in the states, which means plenty of time for slacking. regarding the LV thread within a thread--when i was in japan i had a healthy desire to firebomb their store in kobe. if my wife had dressed like typical kobe girls i would have never married her. it's sexy, don't get me wrong, but they're not merely shallow--there's the dried chaff at the edge of a barren lake. this desire along with my great desire to gather all hello kitties the world over, placing them in the tokyo dome, and dropping a MOAB on it.

                              as for women working subsequent to marriage and/or kids--this is a complex issue, obviously. in japan it outside views seem to break down along these lines: women are either being held down in these roles (identities of relation as opposed to their own), or women are embracing their own disenfranchised state. makes me think of america's now "volunteer" military. of course many would volunteer given the limited options available to the poor. in japan women clearly have limited avenues. can they balance family and career as western women can, or will they face significant obstacles in making attempts at such dual lives. their choices often require sacrificing one or the other--at least that's how they perceive it. part of this is how lame the J-gov't has been in enforcing equality, or how many companies choose to ignore legislation that protects women in the workplace, from harrassment, lack of promotion, and equitable salaries, not to mention maternity and day-care benefits even remotely approximating western standards. then there are the more subtle, inherent messages drilled into japanese women since birth. the commericals on the telly that are remindful of '50's era tv programming and ads here in the states. the happy housewife and mother--with her bottle of dishsoap and the enormous grin and sense of accomplishment and pride. or the roles (models) most women have in japanese dramas. back to LV--they themselves are accessories, ornaments--complicit, sadly, in their own diminishing existence. and then there is the enormous pressure put on women who marry into other families--how many mother-in-laws even today are supportive of a daughter-in-law who might shirk her primary role in life--motherhood. and many husbands heed their mothers more than their wives. all the messages in japanese society today either reinforce this choice (ending a woman's career after marriage/kids), or fail to properly encourage women to break free of their prisonhouse existence.

                              another issue would be women who think they are breaking free of the traditional paradigm by refusing marriage, working, but living with their parents and shopping to their hearts' desires. this is not independence, but selfish, parasitic dependence. and try to have conversations with these women--the most boring people i have ever met. compared to these women, J-housewives ARE role models.

                              as a yank i cannot imagine having a housewife and that alone. of course, some of this is selfish--i don't want the entire financial burden of taking care of my family. but more than that is my western sensibility, drilled into me since youth--that a woman is an equal, and anything less than a career is somehow shameful, and not worthy of my respect.

                              as in all issues that touch on japan and the west there might be balance. it should all be about choice. presently in japan, i still think most industries do not give a fair shake to female employees, but more women obviously need to stick it out--past the age of 27. am i going to promote a woman, invest my company's future in her leadership, over a guy, when in the back of my mind is the very realistic possibility that no matter how qualified, educated, and diligent, that by the time she's 30 she'll be gone. so, that's a tough thing to rectify.

                              but what american society is telling us is also wrong, and i'm not sure how much our example resembles other developed nations'. here the message is both parents have to work, more and more hours--europeans work on average 12 weeks less than us a year!!! but is all this labor necessary. when most of the labor is dedicated simply to more and more wealth--making money more often than tangible products of value to a society. aren't both parents choosing to work their asses off to one distinct end--wealth. couples making 100,000$/year and complaining about how they're making do. this is absurd. it's not about need but greed. what you're seeing in the u.s. is that both parents have very limited roles in their childrens' lives. they compensate for this by trying to be their friends, not their parents, spoiling the ever chubbier tykes more and more, indulging their every fancy. i know this is hardly unheard of in japan, and in greater asia, but at least there children more often than not have a full-time parent to keep them grounded, and of even greater benefit, grandparents, nearby. here in the states we're so mobile and disconnected from one another, and especially our roots, all of us chasing after the american dream. my wife grew up with a stay at home mom, and 4 grandparents nearby, two within walking distance. i grew up with a tv. and our system is best!? meanwhile our kids are getting stoned and having sex as soon as school is out. that was fine when i was 16, but now the numbers are astonishing--12 years old and it's starting. simply pointing your finger at japanese women and blaming them for their position--that's way too simplistic.

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