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  • Japanese mistresses?

    Please bear with my ignorance of Japan and its culture. I live in Hawaii, where I own a business. It has recently done quite well and I want to finally get to know Japan, and, more importantly, Japanese women. I have been in love with them for years and despite being near the nexus of J-tourism in Hawaii, have never had the chance to pursue.

    I married a half-Japanese Micronesian, on the assumption that she might have retained some elements of Japanese character. Big mistake. She is, however, an excellent mother to our sons and I don't want to ruin their lives. She is a consummate liar and cheat, however, and I feel I am justified in trying to find a Japanese girlfriend or lover or mistress. I will be traveling to Japan this summer on business, and don't want to be entirely clueless. I tried some worthless adult dating sites and they suck.

    Not trying to sound arrogant, and I know this isn't a chat room for pimps in Japan, but I need advice on whether Japanese girls will accept a secondary role as mistress (very well-kept: apartment in Waikiki, car, money, etc.) while my family lives on one of the outer Hawaiian islands. I don't want a mindless, detached, bored sex machine. I really do want a lover and a friend and someone who can teach me all about the Japanese culture I've been in love with for the last twelve years (dated numerous 1/4 and 1/2 Japanese and had a married Japanese FWB for a while.)

    Is this all pie-in-the-sky?

  • #2
    Re: Japanese mistresses?

    Michael, japanese women are like western women (and any other women in the world). Although, their culture and background differ to ours, they still react the same way.

    Think about it...Who would chose to be the fifth wheel?

    It is a arduous quest that you are engaging here but not impossible...

    First, you must respect the woman's feeling by telling her exactly about your situation and what you are looking for.
    Don't let her discover later on that you are married, as it will create conflict but also hurt her.

    If you are honest, your chance are slim but...
    you may end up finding:

    - A Nymphomaniac, psychologically disturbed who is going to become a pain in the a** in the future.

    - A woman, only interested in your money.

    - A married woman, in a similar situation as yours.

    The only way to meet somebody is to 'talk' or you can try those cr*p dating agencies and/or websites.

    good luck with that.


    • #3
      Re: Japanese mistresses?

      Thanks for the info. No one can accuse me of not being oblivious, I guess. On related subject, if I am in Tokyo, where would I go to go out and meet people, assuming I don't have any weird fetishes, don't care for hostess bars, and want to avoid being mistaken for a sailor? On a budget of say US$1000/day, what are my options. (I know this isn't a travel forum, please humor me.)

      Do Japanese girls have distinct racial preferences when it comes to gaijin? In other words, do some prefer Caucasian to Hispanic or Black? What about age? I am thirty-six, kind of dark-complexioned, but not swarthy. More like a mix, I guess.


      • #4
        Re: Japanese mistresses?

        I think there are quite a few Japanese women who not only have no problem dating married men, actually prefer it that way. And mistresses are not at all uncommon.
        A former private student of mine was a mistress and I think she is typical- she was slim, pretty and very well dressed, but past her peak. She was also a former hostess and her lover (she called him her 'sponsor') had been one of her customers.
        You said you don't like hostesses which is a shame because I think quite a few of them are looking for sponsors!

        You also said you had bad luck with personals but I really think your best bet is to place a personals ad in Metropolis, a free weekly.


        • #5
          Re: Japanese mistresses?

          So I should be looking for a sponsor now instead of a host? I'm confused. Damn you kids and your hip vernacular!
          re: Michael.

          If it were me I would stick to the personals, lining up a bevy of prospects... then rendevouzing to start "culling the hoezz from the psycho-zz"... if you will... as you do...

          Given the seeming time constraints of your business trip, it could verge on the farcical as you try diplomatically yet semi-frantically to lure your prospective concubine to the islands (could make for an amusing documentary though.. in a "Gilligans Island" meets "Horny Asian Sex Teens" sort of way).

          Not to mention the demeaning aspects involved for all parties as you ply your wares then hesitantly (SOMEHOW) bring the conversation around to the "you wouldn't be a 'Dutch wife' as such" money shot QUESTION, QUESTION, I MEAN QUESTION... not "shot".

          best of luck.

          Do you have a digicam?

          Tomoko, the bathhouse tapeworm


          • #6
            Re: Japanese mistresses?

            Getting a mistress, as long as you have the cash to upkeep her, should not be a very tough problem. Though I personally do not approve.

            But to find one that fits all your requirement (a lover, a friend, deep knowledge of japanese culture, good teacher) is gonna be a heck of a lotta tougher. Not to mention if such a lady will ever be content to be just a mistress.

            Lastly, if you want culture, the only way is to live the culture. Bringing a small chunk of it to hawaii will not work. Live in Japan a few years, then assess if you really love the culture. Otherwise, it would just be an excuse for getting a mistress.


            • #7
              Re: Japanese mistresses?

              Here's a novel idea:
              Work things out with your wife.

              She cheats and lies? Work it out or get a divorce so you can legitamately be with someone else.

              Afraid of ruining your childrens lives? How do you think your sons will feel when they grow up enough to realize their parents have a terrible marrige and that their parents have been cheating on each other. Think of it: regardless of what your wife does, if you are worried about the upbringing of your children, why would you EVER want to be the kind of father who sets an example to his children by getting a mistress.

              Ok, I could be wrong, but I know Im not. I dont think that you are doing these children any good. You may be helping yourself...but when you have a family, sometimes you can't be selfish like that.

              And lastly, do you really think that you can learn the Japanese culture just by having a Japanese mistress? Being someone who lived in Japan, and someone who had very close friends outside of Japan, I know that having relationships with the Japanese can spark interests and can give you some knowledge, if you really want to experience the Japanese culture, move to Japan!!!

              As the Japanese say, you will never understand them because you are a foriegner, and the best chance you have is to live among them in their country.

              There is no good enough excuse that would justify this type of behaviour. Make your family your first priority and everything else will fall into place much better.


              • #8
                Re: Japanese mistresses?

                Dutch-wife doesnft have soul so answer must be GEISHA.


                • #9
                  Re: Japanese mistresses?

                  "Gilligan Dutch Family Robinson".

                  ----after the impending divorce, and ensuing custody battle the sequel (Hoffman & Streep)could, no, should be entitled----

                  "Gilligan vs Gilligan"


                  • #10
                    Re: Japanese mistresses?

                    Micronesian (small)
                    Macronesian (average)
                    Polynesian (big)
                    Cartesian (Cartman?)

                    <badda pish!> man coughs in row 17..............


                    • #11
                      Re: Japanese mistresses?

                      Is Y5000/day excessive for the companionship of an, in her words, half-British/half-Japanese, former beauty queen who is seeking a sponsor? A bit ridiculous, I would think, if I am also providing a two-bedroom flat, car, expenses and stipend. The price of love. Lemme tell ya.'


                      • #12
                        Re: Japanese mistresses?

                        "if a brother gots to ask, he probably can't afford it...."
                        i'm just saying ('_')


                        • #13
                          Re: Japanese mistresses?

                          On the other hand, to quote that streetwalker from the classic 1980's film, St. Elmo's Fire:

                          "Oh, you don't PAY for sex?? Honey, everybody PAYS for sex!"

                          We all pay for it, one way or another...with flowers, cards, chocolates, skiing vacations in Colorado. No one is exempt!


                          • #14
                            Re: Japanese mistresses?

                            My point exactly. If I want a girlfriend, and want to base the relationship on sex and materialism, isn't that kind of just working things down to their barest basics? I always wondered what it would be like to base a relationship on that from the beginning, and let the emotions develop, if at all, later.


                            • #15
                              Re: Japanese mistresses?

                              <Michael Douglas? Welcome to the gaijinpot!! OMFG, loL/wtfLoll#, it's MICHAEL DOUGLAS!!!

                              Jesus GOD, man, your wife is no "half-Japanese Micronesian"!

                              Quick, go back and TAKE ANOTHER LOOK!