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  • i need ......

    i have been here in Tokyo for a few times ,to be with my net friend ( she ) , our relation
    at the net was good ,so she invited me to visit her here i mean in Tokyo , she was nice to me ,and i spent a good time with her ,since last summer till now , this is my 4th time in Tokyo , in fact she is a good friend ,but she want to be more than a friend ,she told me ,that she loved me, honestly i tried to love her too ,but i couldnt ,i treid my best ,there is many different things between us ,there is a few matchs beween us,i treid to explain that for her ,but she didnt accepted it , and for the fact ,both of us are adults ,she is 36 y ,a teacher ,with master degree ,me either,but im 48 y,i had a divorce experience too,with a 10 y boy living with me ,she knew everything about my life.
    my question is ,how i can explain that for her ,that both of us not match for each other,in many things,and i dont want her to be hurt ,coz she was hurt from her ex b/f .
    i need ur help ,if u r a japanese or u lived here at japan for longt time ,pls i need ur advice.
    thank u.


  • #2
    Re: i need ......

    Oceanheart:

    Are you absolutely sure that things will not work out with this girl? Unless there is some major, fundamental split that makes it impossible to be with her you might want to give it a try. From what you describe she seems educated and in a stable line of employment. Having many things in common with some one is not always the key to a good relationship. Have you considered that there might be some issues left over from your divorce that might be getting in the way.

    Just keep your options open, you don`t want to through away something that could turn out good just because of a few doubts.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: i need ......

      Has she ever been through a divorce? If not, I imagine it's real tough for her to understand where your coming from. Even between two divorcees it is real difficult where there are other parents involved and children. I feel for you dude.

      I think you know what you have to do though. It is difficult, but you have to live true to yourself. Your life is yours and hers is hers.

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      • #4
        Re: i need ......

        i will explain something here ,for exampl ,im a social person ,i would like to be with some freinds ,places that be enjoyed ,specialy ,im at my summer holiday here,but she dont like that,she will feel bad if we are in some crowded place ,or among some her friends dinning ,or at shopping malls,she prefer to be at hot springs hotels or at her appartment than to be some where els,and if she did to go out with me ,coz she knew i will get board to be at her place all the time,and when i tried to go some where alone she refuse it,as u know im alone here ,without friends ,and i need some entertainment too,

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        • #5
          Re: i need ......

          no she didnt get married yet ,and she is living alone since she was at high school ( with room mate ) ,and she has 2 close girl friend ,one of them is marreid.

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          • #6
            Re: i need ......

            My take on your situation is that you took advantage of a desperate woman and now you want help to weasel your way out of it. Well I suggest you end it the same way it started: send her a few hackneyed expressions of eternal friendship/remorse via the internet. There's really no need to solicit advice for something as banal as this. In fact, it's a bit sickening. You screwed her over and now you want our sympathy..."I feel for you, mate. You tried to love her...You crossed oceans to enjoy her hospitality but it just wasn't meant to be. Your concern for her feelings is truly noble."

            Feel better now?

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            • #7
              Re: i need ......

              i dont need a sympathy ,what i need its how i can make her more sociable ,than to be isolated lady ,she told me that ,she prefer to be alone with me all the time ,rather to be around with her friends or someothers she know.

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              • #8
                Re: i need ......

                Don`t listen to Sincity he is a player, bad and dirty.
                If only you knew what this man has been up to...............

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                • #9
                  Re: i need ......

                  i couldnt got u ,do u mean that Sencity is a ( player ,dirty, bad ) man
                  im sorry i never met him yet.

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                  • #10
                    Re: i need ......

                    I meant Sincity.
                    I`ve never met him either. I`m not sure I`d want to.

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                    • #11
                      Re: i need ......

                      can i ask u something Rodney , r u living here ?

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                      • #12
                        Re: i need ......

                        Yeah, Rodney is living here and so am I. Why don't we all get together and see if we can't iron this thing out?

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                        • #13
                          Re: i need ......

                          HI.. Im a bit confused.. Do you wanna work this out or do you wanna end it? If you wanna work this out, 1st of all you will have to speak out your thoughts and feelings to her. Be honest and tell her what you feel, and discuss it within each other and see if you 2 can come to a compromise. If it doesnt work out, then you will have to just move on.. We all get hurt somewhere down the road, but youre both adults. Things will settle in the long run.. Thats just life.. Off course its best if things work out, but life isnt perfect.. Fact of life..
                          Hope this can help...

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                          • #14
                            Re: i need ......

                            sorry guys ,i know u r trying hard to give some advice here ,but in fact all of us non japanese ,im wondering why the japanese didnt answering me yet.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: i need ......

                              If you are feeling indescisive and@D_sflike you seem to be...the the an. answer is ...............psychedelics. Yes OK they will make you wear your bollocks for earrings for a while but you will certainly make that desicion and put the rest behind you. Separate out a troubled mind. Pull the plug. Have a cheeky glimpse at your subconcious and its internal decision making process. Go on have a peek.
                              You met her on the net - does this augur well for the long term ? What were you looking for on the net

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