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  • Age differences

    I am 45 year woman and my fiance is 21 yrs. How will Japanese react to age difference? Is it acceptable or is it looked down upon?

    Thank you.

  • #2
    Re: Age differences

    Are either of you Japanese? If not, raised eyebrows are about the limit, except for the same generic boors you might meet at home. If so, the famous native reticence and politeness can break down a bit, esp. where alcohol is flowing, but not much more than at home.

    I have noticed a lot of J-women our agish dating younger men, esp. younger foreign men. I often date younger women, more because thats who I tend to meet, so, if its good for the goose.................................


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    • #3
      Re: Age differences

      It, of course, depends mostly on your families. As for the Japanese, I see old guys with younger women, old women with younger guys, etc,... I go out with a woman 8 years my senior, I know people with a 13 year age difference and going out in public has never caused any friction. If anything, I think they would congratulate you.

      The big question is whether he'll be comforting you during your hip replacement or receiving comfort from your hot young nurses. That reminds me of a Ron Jeremy...uh, nevermind.

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      • #4
        Re: Age differences

        NEVERMIND. Read the rules: No references to Ron Jeremy.
        Tee Hee.

        I agree with your points, though, MS. I think most people wouldn't care either way, and those that might are usually too polite or wise to stick their nose in. And a lot of us think it is good.

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        • #5
          Re: Age differences

          I don't think the young Japanese would mind. I have a couple of friends (aged 26 something) who dated boys (aged 20 below)... The women were quite proud of their boyfriends. Their family's reactions are a different story though.

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          • #6
            Re: Age differences

            Interesting. So very much different from the US.

            I am half japanese, and he is caucasian.

            I think it will be nice to be accepted for a change instead. I am looking forward to it!!

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            • #7
              Re: Age differences

              People in Japan are usually hardcore sexual deviants, so having a relationship that spans over 2 decades is nothing shocking at all.

              Sora-chan, you're moving to Japan or coming for a visit? Who gives you problems in the US about your age difference and in what way? I'm really intrigued by your situation now, and I'm not wise or polite enough not to stick my nose in.

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              • #8
                Re: Age differences

                You may be subject to some mild censure, as a member of The Tribe, but not in an aggressive way, and not by anyone you would probably want to have much dealings with anyway. If he is caucasian, they will think he looks fifty anyway, so no problems there.

                I was told the other day that I looked 65, but seemed young, so I must only be 55. If I didn't have a fairly realistic confidence in my physical appearance, I think I might have gone home and capped myself.

                ps: to foreigners, I am a young looking 41

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                • #9
                  Re: Age differences

                  Sora, is your real name Demi Moore? Just wondering...

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                  • #10
                    Re: Age differences

                    No no .... no Demi Moore here....haha

                    Our relationship is undescriblable....it may sound corny but here goes.....

                    We complete each other........

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                    • #11
                      Re: Age differences

                      Show me the Money!!!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Age differences

                        Frank Booth [Dennis Hopper] in Blue Velvet: gMommy, mommy, mommy!!!h

                        Now that Ifve made a fool of myself as the Ginpot calling the kettle black, Ifll confess: Ifm older than you, Sora. Ifm a geezerly 50 year old. My girlfriend is almost 29. She is Japanese. I am not.

                        The only issue that I can think of between her and I, is her parents. Ifve never met them, never been to Japan. We were together for a little over one year, most of that time living together. Due to visa | immigration | money concerns, she had to go back to Japan for a while. When she came back to visit a couple of months later, she told me that she told her parents about me. Mommy furrreeeeeked!!! She said that her father didnft say much, but I imagine him silently honing the family sword. Her mom is my age | old bag.

                        The oh so Japanese thing herec I asked my girlfriend, gDo they know that Ifm old and poor?h And no, they donft, she said, only that Ifm evil gaijin.

                        This is the biggest concern that I have. I donft want to be the villain , but as the senior partner, there are some responsibilities. Just exactly what they are isnft totally clear to me. However, Ifm the father of a 19 year old daughter, and I would be devastated if she ran off and left the country with some gaijin prick that I didnft know. The difference here is that I wouldnft freak out before meeting somebody that I didnft know. I acknowledge that there is a difference in our cultures, but my god, I canft ever remember having any parent having anything to do with anything more than socialising in the +30 years that Ifve been getting into trouble with girlfriends.

                        Now she is back in Japan. We are in constant contact but I havenft seen her for 6 months and it will be another 2 before I have a 2 week visit. Fookin economics. I asked her just last week about how to handle the parent problem. She said that it is impossible to talk to her parents about it. Her solution is to do all the work necessary to emigrate and just before she leaves, she will call them and say goodbye. Yikes! I do not like this solution. Ifm sure that if I could talk to themc and show them how well I can countc and that I want a drinkc and that I want to go to bedc.how do you spell futility? [oh there, Ifve done it]

                        Okay, Ifve blathered on enough, sorry. Just one guyfs take on an age-difference relationship. In a pinch: If you are both consenting adults and you dig each other, then ____ eem all. Bigger towns generally mean smaller hassles. Otherwise, keep your sense of humour, and continue to love your man. Thanks for listening.

                        Best of luck

                        GG

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                        • #13
                          Re: Age differences

                          Sora,
                          Nice. Corn is good when it makes ya feel warm and squishy.

                          Guy Ginpot,

                          Sounds rough. But, lots of Japanese I know are in similar situations. Esp. now that middle aged divorce rates are on the rise. If she's worth it, tough it out. Keep your head down, your tongue tied, and wait for the storm to pass. Perseverance will show them that you are serious, and not just skiving around for a young totty (I am not she is that, BTW)

                          Ganbare ya

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                          • #14
                            Re: Age differences

                            half-japanese? just ask the parents?

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                            • #15
                              Re: Age differences

                              I asked my girlfriend what Japanese thought of inter-generational relationships, especially those between older females and males. She said they really thought nothing of it, and that it was a good thing that works out well for both people involved. When I asked her to go on, she said, "The older woman gets to go out with a young guy who, likewise, makes her feel younger. And the young guy gets a lot of free stuff."

                              very wise

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