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  • Confusion about the Japanese attitude towards sex

    I saw this on another board that gets no traffic, but since I'd like to hear oher people's opinions on it, I'm cut and pasting it here.

    Okay, one of the things that attracted me to Japan is that I thought it would be free of the Christian "sex is evil" attitude. I hear some posters say things like "sex is natural here", "they have no hangups", etc. I would like to believe that this is true.

    Please give me your opinion on the following things:

    When I buy tampons, why does the clerk wrap them up in an opaque package and seal the bag with tape? What is it about J culture that makes tampons such an embarrassing personal item?

    Why do some porn stores retain the appearance of regular video stores from the street? I have walked into video stores several times only to find that the only non-porn movies were the ones in the window.

    Some of my J girlfriends asked me if women ever "go home" with men in nightclubs in America, and when I said yes, they seemed shocked. I do know that J girls do this in the larger cities, but is it looked down upon? And if it is not looked down upon because of a judeo-christain ethic, than why?

    I made out with a J guy I had been seeing (no sex, just foreplay) In a phone conversation the next day he said to me "I think you are bad girl". This made me sad, because I thought sex wasn't "dirty" here. What's up with this?

    I've always believed that repression breeds perversity. In America I've found that the people with the most perverted minds are the ones who were raised with the most repressive christianity. Think of preachers daughters, catholic schoolgirls-gone crazy, "upright, moral" politicians getting arrested with hookers, etc. Why is the porn here so perverted? If sex is "no big deal" here, what's up with tentacle monsters etc.? Does this society really have a "healthy" attitude about sex?

  • #2
    Hmm, some interesting points.

    Japan has to be about the most repressed place around when it comes to sex. Granted, America is pretty messed up as well but I think that mainly has to due with a kind of culture class between more liberal minded Americans and the conservative right. Anyhow, back to Japan....well....where to start? The mainstream porn here is absolutely screwed up....the girls are getting banged by sick old guys and half the time they seem to start crying and wailing in the movies. The girls are totally belittled and treated like trash.

    American porn is pretty good in that respect.....its basically "MAF....Mutually Assured F@cking"...where the guy(s) and girl(s) are intent of nailing each other till they are on the verge of a heart attack. Mind you, I am talking mainstream here. you can find whacko rape/animal crap in every country.

    When I was a college student my friend (Japanese guy) was getting it on with my GF when I was away......finally he fessed up (although she wouldn`t admit to it) and his his kind of apology to me was "hey, we are Z!!! cool!! h now! That didn`t help the situation......

    Hmm....the most interesting (for me at least) is the lack of quality sex ed in this country. The stuff I here natives say about STD`s AIDS etc is absolutely rediculous. Among other things that I have heard:

    "you have to have sex 100 times with a person infected with AIDS to get it"
    "Most people with HIV dont get AIDS"

    on and on....

    well, on the bright side, I find that young people talk pretty openly about sex (at least my friends), which is nice. Coming from my Catholic/Mormon roots its nice to get some open conversation about the issue......

    Comment


    • #3
      Wow, pepper, you love starting these saucy, sexually charged threads, don't you? Fortunately, its something we all have in common and have some kind of warped opinion about.
      I think Japanese attitudes towards sex can be seen in the perspective of tatemae and honne. They put up the pretense that they're all meat and potatoes, conforming to conservative sexual ideals(censoring genitalia) but they are the most sexually deviant nation on earth. Between the manga and the porn, I wonder if any of them are capable of standard missionary sex.
      In America, sex is seen as evil and it's actually quite natural. In Japan, sex is seen as natural and it's evil. Go figure.
      Luckily, they recently passed a law making gang rape illegal (whoah).

      Jackie - Mormon/Christian roots? I thought the two were mutually exclusive?!

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      • #4
        Jeez, where do you guys go to make friends? I spent a year at a university here in Japan, and I have to say the women were pretty liberal about sex. They didnt think it was dirty or evil, granted they didnt know much more than missionary and oral sex. All the guys I know are just as perverted as any of my American friends..........

        As for the tampon thing, in case you havent noticed the Japanese like to wrap anything in plastic bags not just tampons. Hell when I go to the local conveeny to buy my condoms they always bag it seperately. Since I have a stock of plastic bags now I just tell them I dont need the bag. Try that and see what happens.

        I think you need to find some friends that dont care wether or not you are a "Ol" D The only way to do this is learn to speak real good Japanese.

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        • #5
          "Jackie - Mormon/Christian roots? I thought the two were mutually exclusive?!"

          Jackie is a dichotomous mofo. Normal limits of exclusion do not apply in his case.

          Nice thread by the way, but I do think that your examples are a little out of the ordinary. Perhaps when the guy told you "I think you bad girl" you were supposed to reply "I bad girl. I very bad girl. I want punish" or perhaps, and more likely, you were supposed to have a shy giggle. It was probably his way of reconciling the naughty play with his idea of your purity.

          Not that I'd know anything about it...

          There do seem to be some big differences in the opinions you hear about sex in Japan. People seem to be both more open about it (pink flyers in your mailbox) and more conservative (can't be stuffed thinking of an example) at the same time. The dudes who hire porn from the video store seem to be a bit nervous about it, hiding them so you can't see. And so they should, in my opinion because more often than not they're holding episodes 1-7 of "Schoolgirl rape and confinement"

          They wouldn't have to be so nervous if they weren't hiring such perverted stuff.

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          • #6
            Sorry! Catholic/Mormon roots......half the family mormon, half the family catholic.

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            • #7
              Jackie, you just went up a notch in my book. Half Mormon/Half Catholic must make for exciting Thanksgiving dinner... No wonder you fled to Japan. I can just hear someone asking the question, "When babies die, do they go to hell?"
              What were we talking about. Ah yes, sexual repression.
              Tokindug - The Japanese people I know could outpervert any American. If there was a contest (and I'm sure that there is), the Japanese would take home gold medals in every event. I consider myself a pervert, but compared to some Japanese guys I'm a retarded 3-year old. Their perversions are so complex, I sometimes have trouble following the context until they start drawing pictures and making noises.

              Comment


              • #8
                Tarzan Bad Boy, Jane Bad Girl

                Pepper,

                Listen to what Bluedog said about that "Bad girl" thing. I think it was probably supposed to be playful teasing. Depending on how old he is, he may find that stuff exciting. Weird, but if you liked him at first, give him another chance? (not at you, just with you, eh?)

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                • #9
                  This post is just some random thoughts with no structure to it at all - SORRY!!

                  I consider Japanese to be on par with Germans in deviancy of pornography.
                  From the porn Ive seen, there is also an unusual male attraction to anal play and nipple licking. That is the guys want the girls to do sh!t to their ring and get their nipples licked.

                  Your right this is a very fascinating thread. In one sense it is really repressed, and in another sense less so. What is going on here. I think it is a case of pornography being really popular as a result of extreme repression. The pornography, manga, numerous soap lands are just one way in which this repression is vented.
                  Its so weird because in some ways it is such a hush hush subject, but on the other side of the coin the Japanese guys I work with ask me stuff completely out of the blue like ghow many centimeters is your _____?h and one time I got gdo you still have sex with you wife, are you TSUYOI?h. Seeing the uncomfortable look on my face he followed up with gI havenft slept with my wife for 10 years, I donft even sleep in the same room as herh to which another guy chimes in gneither do I, hahahah. These are 50 year old men by the way.

                  I think it breaks down like this. Guys can talk about it and girls cant.

                  Foreigners tend to portray Japanese girls as easy but I donft agree. Like guys, they live with their parents until they get married. Of course they are going to take opportunities to go to a love hotel when they come, knowing that there is the last train to catch etc.

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                  • #10
                    Damned dichotomous culture. That's all I really can add to the issue. Oh, and my girlfriend, who may not be very representative, didn't really know anything about anything "sex" besides maybe the missionary position until she went to Montreal for 9 months. Even now I'd say she still only knows about half as much as your average perverted American. That being said, despite her lack of knowledge she seems pretty open to the attitude of 'try anything once.' And her mom seems content with the attitude of 'it didn't happen in my house, he's a pervert.' I think that one will amuse all of my friends for a long time to come.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Bluedog
                      "Jackie - Mormon/Christian roots? I thought the two were mutually exclusive?!"

                      Jackie is a dichotomous mofo. Normal limits of exclusion do not apply in his case.

                      Nice thread by the way, but I do think that your examples are a little out of the ordinary. Perhaps when the guy told you "I think you bad girl" you were supposed to reply "I bad girl. I very bad girl. I want punish" or perhaps, and more likely, you were supposed to have a shy giggle. It was probably his way of reconciling the naughty play with his idea of your purity.

                      .

                      Oh, that makes me feel better. Thank you. p.s.: Kurogane, I'm listening.

                      And yes, I guess my threads are a bit saucy. But there seems to be virtually NO advice on the net for Western women who find J guys attractive. So I have to start threads like these if I want to learn anything.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by pepper
                        And yes, I guess my threads are a bit saucy. But there seems to be virtually NO advice on the net for Western women who find J guys attractive. So I have to start threads like these if I want to learn anything.
                        Of course there aren't threads for that. Don't most of you gaijin women come to Japan to get us gaijin guys to come back with you to our home countries? I mean, Everything in Japan has to be here for the gaijin guys in one way or another...

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                        • #13
                          Yes....those great family reunions. The two sides (Mormon and Catholic) don`t mix it up too much, but if they do their tactics are completely different. Especially when dealing with a family member who is "not of the faith".

                          The Catholic side of the family is pretty good at ripping each other to sh#t, breaking out the hell/sin/forgiveness/must go to church everyday/humans are so dirty factor while the Mormons take a whole different approach. They are pretty calm and always try to work you into the fold.......usually by masking their "conversion motives" in a fun filled volleyball/trampoline weekend. If a LDS missionary ever asked you to "just hang out this weekend"......always know there is some underlying motive.....even though they insist they have no motive.

                          Luckily for me I realized what a bunch of BS organized religion is during Jr. High. At church nobody really seemed interested in making themselves a better person......they would rather yell at someone else for sinning!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Jackie Treehorn
                            Yes....those great family reunions. The two sides (Mormon and Catholic) don`t mix it up too much, but if they do their tactics are completely different. Especially when dealing with a family member who is "not of the faith".

                            The Catholic side of the family is pretty good at ripping each other to sh#t, breaking out the hell/sin/forgiveness/must go to church everyday/humans are so dirty factor while the Mormons take a whole different approach. They are pretty calm and always try to work you into the fold.......usually by masking their "conversion motives" in a fun filled volleyball/trampoline weekend. If a LDS missionary ever asked you to "just hang out this weekend"......always know there is some underlying motive.....even though they insist they have no motive.

                            Luckily for me I realized what a bunch of BS organized religion is during Jr. High. At church nobody really seemed interested in making themselves a better person......they would rather yell at someone else for sinning!
                            Yeah that happened quite often with me, too. You get invited to a BBQ, and you find out that it is just another cult gathering. Convert the evil sinners!

                            Remember when the US invaded the Phillipinees to "show them the light"? How many of them were killed? "Accept Jesus into your heart, or DIE!!!"

                            I find the religious people to be the biggest hypocrites of them all. The Bible preaches tolerance, yet look at who is screaming "Gays are evil!!", "If you have an abortion you are going to hell!", etc.

                            As for Mr. Alex Willis, I think it is evil that he gets a job as an english teacher, and sees it as "a way to introduce 300 people to Jesus" WTF, you talkin` `bout Willis? This country is doing just fine without religious discrimination.

                            Yet, these are my personal thoughts, and I respect that others may not agree with me. I am tolerant! I am going to Heaven!!!!!!!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Walking out of the Supermarket today 6 chipper LDS missionaries were chatting away with the locals.......

                              luckily I managed to get away without being dragged into a conversation. Whenever it happens we end up talking about Utah, where they are from, and on two occasions the missionaries knew relatives of mine. Great.....

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