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  • Japanese Guys?????????

    I have been to many forum sites about Japan and when I go into the relationships forums you find tons of information on how to get a Japanese girls. Not that I have anything wrong with that. But I can barely find any information on Japanese guys. I have heard the saying that they are shy and you have to make the first move. Which I have no problem doing, its just that you don't really hear any thing about what they like or if they don't mind going out with a non-white foregin girl. So my question is have any of the girls been out with a Japanese guy or have consider it. And what kind of information have you found out about them. Guys feel free to answer. Maybe you have some Japanese friends who may have told you something
    Last edited by wonderful; 2004-09-28, 10:11 PM.

  • #2
    Been out with many...perhaps too many? They are just as diverse, charming, annoying, loveable, disgusting, intelligent, stimulating (intellectually and otherwise), boring, etc. as their "gaijin" counterparts. No sweeping statements can be made about Japanese boys...just like one couldn't say something about foreign men that encompasses them all (and dare I try).

    There are definitely things on this forum specifically about Japanese men (I'm too tired to do a search for you though). I will say, though, most of the Japanese boys (men) I've dated have been more...Westernized than usual. I trust a lot of this has to do with the fact that my Japanese is equivalent to that of an advanced 2-year-old (well...maybe slightly better...on a good day).

    Some Japanese men will love you...others won't have anything to do with you (they are scared, disinterested, etc.). No worries though - I trust some foreign men will love you...others won't have anything to do with you (same reasons as above).

    I imagine this helps very little...so I guess my work is done...at least for now. Time for bed. Oyasumi -

    Comment


    • #3
      Well, one thing that I've learned through my girlfriend (and whenever she's talking to her friends, etc.) is that many of the Japanese men seem to be very possesive/jealous. Mind you, this isn't a huge sample size, but a lot of the guys won't let their girlfriends go to parties if they're will be guys there, etc. It's not statistically significant though.

      Comment


      • #4
        asian guys

        hello
        well, i am japanese male but have been living outside my homeland for 9 years.
        i have had only one japanese girlfriend in my 26years of life-experience. and all the rest of girls i dated are all non asian.

        i don't especially care which race or color the girl has. neither religion nor culture.
        what matters is of course more like personality, language (understanding each other), and ,,,,,looking,

        if i had a opportunity, i would have loved to date a black girl or other asian girls, i just didn't have chance, and my poor experience goes all based on relationships with white girls.

        all my japanese friends think i am white-girl fetish, which is not true at all.

        generally speaking asian guys, especially japanese guys have really strong complex about their body, and have super-negative self-consciousness.
        watching, and listening imported movies, music all the time. subliminaly taught the facts that copying clothes that black/white guys wear is only way to be cool, following their culture is only way to express our sensitivity originality.
        and also we are taught to believe that asian guys are ugly, flat-face short-leg big-head non-mannered yellow monkeys.........

        ok. shortly, we believe that our dicks never satisfy white/black girls.....
        sorry, maybe too direct....

        this kind of misunderstandings can't be fixed easily.
        only way to know the fact that asian guys can be attractive if "YOU" are attractive, is to date non-asian cuties and make them shout "you are the far best i've seen!!"

        since i stepped out of japan, i've been focusing on one thing to be (attractive) man as much as i can be. "to be japanese",,,. not "acting like white/black".
        this way, so far, i think it works dramatically.
        girls get attracted by guys who have originality, and self-dignity. originality is to have "origin"
        japanese guys potentially have one of the strongest originality among all the guys from all over the world.
        american, europian guys, if you track back 3 or 4 generations, they are someone else. we have been japanese for 2-3ks of years.

        ___ guys, stand up, we cen be attractive!!

        if you wanna have non-asian girl friend, GO for it, JUMP on her!!
        if she is not interested in YOU, it's YOUR problem. not color or size!!

        Comment


        • #5
          OMG, I didn't think Japanese guys thought that way about themselves. well not all i'm sure but its nice to here a Japanese male point of view. I always here others opinion of them but not their own. Kazuwazu your right. Japanese guys are attractive and you keep telling them that.

          Comment


          • #6
            Kazuwazu
            Its great to finally get a Japanese perspective on this forum. But I do see disadvantages with being too Japanese. In fact I know 2 girls who were married to Japanese men and had children but then divorced. Their reasons were the same. Their husband expected them to do everything in the house. Most western women hate that.
            Tell me, do you also expect this of a girlfriend?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Da Gster
              Kazuwazu
              Its great to finally get a Japanese perspective on this forum. But I do see disadvantages with being too Japanese. In fact I know 2 girls who were married to Japanese men and had children but then divorced. Their reasons were the same. Their husband expected them to do everything in the house. Most western women hate that.
              Tell me, do you also expect this of a girlfriend?
              I'm not Kazuwazu, but let's be honest:
              He's admitted that he thinks differently than many of the Japanese guys that he knows, so even if he says no, that's still not really representative of other Japanese guys. In fact, most Japanese who I've met that have spent a significant time overseas changed dramatically during their time abroad, and are often much different than those who have never really left Japan.

              and Wonderful:
              It's obvious that you just have a j-guy fetish, which is fine. Let's be honest though, people are people, and everyone is different. There's no use in making generalizations such as 'all Japanese guys are great, hot, whatever.' And I'm sure that there are plenty of them out there without ego problems. Of course, it's usually the gusy with the least ego problems that you want to stay away from, since they generally turn out to be players and are likely to cheat on you, or brag about 'conquests'.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by kazuwazu
                girls get attracted by guys who have originality, and self-dignity. originality is to have "origin"
                japanese guys potentially have one of the strongest originality among all the guys from all over the world.
                Nothing against you Kazuwazu, but I have to take issue with this statement. Originality is not to have an 'origin' in the sense that you have a culture 2-3 thousand years old (and I'm Jewish, so my 5k years blows that away). Being original implies being different, forging new paths, standing out from others around you, etc. Someone who created a new culture 1 minute ago is more original than either of us (assuming he didn't cop it from some other culture).

                That being said, a lot of women that I have met go for a mold, not originality. Look at wonderful for example (no offense intended, you like what you like, and that's fine). She likes Japanese people because they fit a certain mold. She might not say so, but if you're looking for originality, you can't look at groups of people, only individuals. Rarely happens. Even people who are trying to stand out. Take Goths for example. In 'standing out' they just fit another mold, and any goth today is completely unoriginal, yet the goth chicks will dig the goth guys, etc.

                Some girls will go after a guy who they perceive as caring, funny, rich, stable, athletic, or any number of important adjectives. Most women would not use the word different, or original, and those that do say they date a guy because he's original, could probably describe important characteristics of how that person is original. Anyway, sorry for that tangent, I just had to get that out.

                As for the self-dignity, that is very important for guys. Someone should tell that to all the Charisma men in Japan (who don't get women because they are original or different, but because of general misconceptions that Japanese women often have about foreigners.)

                Comment


                • #9
                  reply to all

                  hey, thanks for your reactions.

                  first of all, i have to say that i'm not representing japanese guys, i'm just saying my opinions here. so plz don't misunderstand that my words reflect others' voice too.

                  i answer a bit more

                  re:wonderful
                  i think the biggest difference i feel between me(and some other guys who satyed abroad for long) and normal ___ guys is that i'm very proud of being japanese, i love our traditions, i love our potential mentality,,,,,,,it's something you can see more easily when you look at japan from outside japan.
                  i don't say anything against importing foreign (western) culture and mixing them to japanese our own perspective, but today's kids are becoming more like latin american natives when spanish, portuguese conquerors arrived,,,, taking vows into this wave of "what's cool", "what's new", "new=cool"......
                  it's not happening only in japan though. the expansion of black-hip-hop culture is huge in france, ___ culture in china and korea are same.
                  i just watched "the last Samurai" the other day, i know Samurai guys are a lot beautified in this film, but for sure what they tried to defend japan from foreign power was real meaning of "our identity".
                  keeping own identity is 100times harder than losing it.
                  i personaly focus on what kind of (japanese) man i can be, and how to show it to people i meet outside japan, in that way i have more or less have this feeling of representing japan though. BUT i don't really care how japanese guys are viewed by others, people who know me, know me, they qualify me as me. i'm happy with it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    reply to all 2

                    re: DaGster: about your opinion, i totally agree with you. japanese husbands really expect their wives to be at home do everything domestic. it's very strong tradition we have. i mean all asian culture is same.
                    i have lived with several white girls, and i'm a person who does everything myself. i cook(i hate eating outside) all the time, i wash, i clean, only one thing i hate to do in the house is laundry stuff.
                    when i show to the girl that i do domestic work well, it doesn't take time to make this girl being like old japanese guy. i keep cleaning the house for 2 months and if one day the room is dirty, she'd say "hey!!" , i go "hey what?", she is like "room's messy", i answer "why don't you do it for once?"
                    so it's kind of vice versa.
                    i know bunch of european guys who never do house work, who never pay attention to their kids' development.
                    and look at this fact. more than 70% of european family put their kids into day-care facility before the baby becomes 6 months old.
                    and half of them start at 3-4 months old
                    3month-old baby goes to school!!!!!
                    it's UNBELIEBABLE for asian people.

                    and look at this fact: devortion rate of french couples today 67%. japan is still under 10%

                    i do know japanese couples, family have huge problems that have ____ed up today's society, but as far as i have seen, the ammount of domestic issues european people have is still a lot bigger than asian's.

                    so i don't think it's not clever idea to say ___ guys are evil in one word.

                    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                    re:madmaxxam

                    yeah you are right. Originality doesn't go just by how many years of history your family has.
                    i didn't mean that.
                    what i said is that your originality as yourself depends on how you have lived, how much you think in daily life, how many people you have met, ,,,,this directly connects to one's charm, attraction, personality.
                    your originality as being japanese, american, european is another topic.
                    there is something you can't ignore in you that goes deep inside your history , in one word nationality. which is your originality too.
                    although there are a lot of stereo-type prejudices on each nationality, it's 100% sure that there are common personality, sense of value, the way you think, if you have same nationality.

                    and i think, the deeper history you have in your family, the more you have things that you can't change, things you can be proud to have from your great(X100)grandpa.
                    and what i said last time is that we japanese have something very strong inside us that can attract western girls as an animal.
                    like a deer with bigger horn attracts female more
                    like a pee____ with more beautiful feather attracts female more.
                    these are not something you have just yourself, you have it because your ancestor got it little by little for generations of life and death
                    i (want to) believe that japanese(asian) guys have something white/black guys don't.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      reply to all 2

                      re: DaGster: about your opinion, i totally agree with you. japanese husbands really expect their wives to be at home do everything domestic. it's very strong tradition we have. i mean all asian culture is same.
                      i have lived with several white girls, and i'm a person who does everything myself. i cook(i hate eating outside) all the time, i wash, i clean, only one thing i hate to do in the house is laundry stuff.
                      when i show to the girl that i do domestic work well, it doesn't take time to make this girl being like old japanese guy. i keep cleaning the house for 2 months and if one day the room is dirty, she'd say "hey!!" , i go "hey what?", she is like "room's messy", i answer "why don't you do it for once?"
                      so it's kind of vice versa.
                      i know bunch of european guys who never do house work, who never pay attention to their kids' development.
                      and look at this fact. more than 70% of european family put their kids into day-care facility before the baby becomes 6 months old.
                      and half of them start at 3-4 months old
                      3month-old baby goes to school!!!!!
                      it's UNBELIEBABLE for asian people.

                      and look at this fact: devortion rate of french couples today 67%. japan is still under 10%

                      i do know japanese couples, family have huge problems that have ____ed up today's society, but as far as i have seen, the ammount of domestic issues european people have is still a lot bigger than asian's.

                      so i don't think it's a clever idea to say ___ guys are evil in one word.

                      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                      re:madmaxxam

                      yeah you are right. Originality doesn't go just by how many years of history your family has.
                      i didn't mean that.
                      what i said is that your originality as yourself depends on how you have lived, how much you think in daily life, how many people you have met, ,,,,this directly connects to one's charm, attraction, personality.
                      your originality as being japanese, american, european is another topic.
                      there is something you can't ignore in you that goes deep inside your history , in one word nationality. which is your originality too.
                      although there are a lot of stereo-type prejudices on each nationality, it's 100% sure that there are common personality, sense of value, the way you think, if you have same nationality.

                      and i think, the deeper history you have in your family, the more you have things that you can't change, things you can be proud to have from your great(X100)grandpa.
                      and what i said last time is that we japanese have something very strong inside us that can attract western girls as an animal.
                      like a deer with bigger horn attracts female more
                      like a pee____ with more beautiful feather attracts female more.
                      these are not something you have just yourself, you have it because your ancestor got it little by little for generations of life and death
                      i (want to) believe that japanese(asian) guys have something white/black guys don't.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        sorry

                        oops i voted same message twice.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Nice discussion.
                          Kazuwazu (great handle by the way),
                          Your tendency to rely on outdated, narrow-minded, chauvinistic cultural stereotypes (the pride of the Japanese education system) and prejudices about The Japanese and The White/Blacks (as absolute monolithic prefigurations) weakens rather than strengthen your arguments, which are sound, inspiring, and interesting. That bit about all people who share a nationality having the same personality and values had me pissing myself in derisive laughter. I hear that same BS from trained analysts at work every day, though, so don't feel too bad. Fifty years of Jiminto Chauvinist Nationalist Education/Propaganda can't be overcome overnight.
                          You need to phrase your arguments in a more personal, less absolute, and less dichotomistic ways to really get the strength of your argument across. And your argument is strong, no doubt about that. Anyways, I have a very boring looking meeting to go to. More later. Also, please don't use the term ___, even if you are. The tragic weight of History has killed that term forever.
                          Kazuwazu was on line
                          Kazuwazu argued fine
                          Kazuwazu wasn't Krazzy, Wazee?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I like a lot of youfve said.
                            I donft think western families are perfect. However, sometimes I look at divorce as healthy. That is, the higher the divorce rate the more social freedom there is. In the middle-east divorce rates are near 0%. Thatfs doesnft mean it is healthy. I also do not believe Japanese married couples are healthy. Middle-aged Japanese couples seldom go out with each other. Getting baby sitters is almost unheard of. I believe when Japanese married couples lose interest in each other they stay together, but in the case of western marriages they get divorced. Also with Japanese mothers verses western mothers hmmmmmm. I think the Japanese mother is also not a great example. Firstly, there are way more house wives in Japan so of course there is going to be less kids going to daycare at a young age. Also the Japanese government makes it very difficult to put kids into daycare under 1 year of age. My wife and I tried to put our youngest kid in daycare but we had to wait till he was over 1.
                            Western women are more career orientated than Japanese women. In my country, statistics show that wealthy parents are the ones that send their kids to daycare the fastest because the wife is a professional of some sort and wants to continue her career path.
                            I donft like how Japanese mothers sleep with their children till a very late age. This takes a lot of the freedom away from the mother and also creates marital stress as it becomes more difficult for the husband and the wife to have sex. There is a reason why there are so many brothels in Japan.
                            Well Ive said a lot. I donft agree with Japanese family structures. But there are other aspects of Japan that are far superior than many western countries. The number for me is the low crime rate.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Kazuwazu, it's very refreshing to have a Japanese perspective on this board.

                              Throwing around statistics and comparing one culture to another doesn't prove anything. People send their kids to daycare for many reasons, often economic. Divorce rate is high in one country and the number of married couples that hate each other is higher in another.
                              What are some domestic issues you've experienced in Europe or US that makes you say that Japan has a better record in that area?
                              One area that Japan has probably gotten right is their ability to keep people off of drugs, and that solves a lot of domestic issues. It would be very easy to import and distribute here, but there's no market, everyone is scared sh1tless of illegal substances. Sucks for us gaijinpot heads, but Japan prevents a lot of social problems this way.

                              Kurochan - I love that Kazuwazu uses the word ___... it simply takes too much finger power to write the word Japanese. Few, if any, of us were alive during WW2 when the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor, so there's really not much sting left in that word.

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