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  • Jealous

    Last night I was chatting to an Aussie guy at a club, just chit chat. His Japanese girlfriend came up and said, indiscreetly, "Why are you talking to her?" and sorta pulled him away, giving me dirty looks.

    This isn't the first time this has happened to me. It's not like I was trying to pick this guy up, my boyfriend was with me. It doesn't seem like typical 'Japanese' behaviour.

    What are your thoughts. Are some Japanese girls threatened by Western girls. if yes, why?

    Does anyone have any crazy stories about jealous partners?

  • #2
    Good reasons for a g/f to get jealous:

    You're more attractive than the girlfriend
    The boyfriend is ignoring his g/f while talking to you
    The boyfriend doesn't properly introduce the g/f and include her in the conversation
    The boyfriend has been caught cheating or is under strong suspicion

    As my g/f and I were walking into a conbini one night, a girl coming out gave me fish eyes and a wide grin, I returned it reflexively and my girlfriend got pissed. 'Why did you smile at her like that? Do you want to fcuk her, or what?' I guess I should have given her the finger, instead.

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    • #3
      From what I've seen the jealousy is common among Japanese girls. I was at a bar in Osaka with Maki and two other friends. One of the guys pulled a girl over to chat with, and when she started talking to me Maki became crazy jealous. Also, some of Maki's friends are dating guys that won't let them go to parties if there will be men there. That just seems extreme to me.

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      • #4
        Extreme, yes, uncommon, no

        Originally posted by madmaxxam
        Also, some of Maki's friends are dating guys that won't let them go to parties if there will be men there. That just seems extreme to me.
        Ahhh, Grasshoppers, the Ways of an Exotic People are unfathomable. Seriously, though, that sort of jealousy ritual is not only common, but it seems to be expected. Hasn't anyone noticed how pissed they get when We don't get jealous at the "appropriate" times?

        Kuro-chama,
        I am quite sure it is your stunning beauty that is the root casue of all this kerfuffle, but it is a very common thing. I get it from J=Guys all the time, whether their girl is Local or Imported. I think it is almost a ritual display of territoriality and possession. My failure to display in such manner always po-ed my ex. "You don't care, because you never get jealous." Try not to let it get to you, little black and furry one.
        MS,
        Yup. Been there, had that. Apparently the finger is the appropriate response. Of course, the girl giving you the F me smile may well have done it precisely because you were already with another woman. Not very sororial, I think.

        Maxxie,
        Does Maki get jealous when her mum shows up in that wetsuit, dripping wet, and looking stunning?

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        • #5
          Haven't had this with my Japanese lady. She has a lot of girlfriends, with whom I am permitted to chat all I want. She is in almost permanent posessive physical contact with me though - holding my shoulder when standing or resting her hand on my leg when seating or just hugging me or leaning against me.

          Maybe the same behaviour as you comment on though, but because she's very confident she looks happy with the attention I am getting from our mutual lady friends.

          I, on the other hand, poked one guy with a billiard stick into his forehead and almost drowned another one with a 2-littre bottle of tea - both were trying to flirt with her

          Must be something about the Russian guys, all that protective violence, I wonder...

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          • #6
            Originally posted by kurogane
            Of course, the girl giving you the F me smile may well have done it precisely because you were already with another woman. Not very sororial, I think.
            Yup, that seems to be pretty common here. I know two Japanese women who specificly go for married/taken men. At first I thought it must be because of the convenience (they get all the perks of having a boyfriend with none of the hassle and responsibility), but actually they do their best to make the guy leave his wife/girlfriend. So it seems this man-stealing urge is just a challenge or cheap ego boost.
            Both these girls are single now- though they've succeeded in breaking up plenty of couples, none of the relationships lasted. Heartbreak all around. Sad.

            As for jealousy. My husband isn't the least bit jealous; I can go out drinking or dancing with my girlfriends all night long if I want. He trusts me, and I guess, as wonderful as I am, he's also happy to have me out of his hair once in a while.
            But I do get the impression that this is unusual in Japan- my friends constantly ask "Are you SURE he doesn't mind? Shouldn't you call and ask?".
            I've got a girls' night out this weekend, and he's really looking forward to a quiet evening home. I guess I'm lucky...

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            • #7
              Smallworld, interesting perspective. I would not be very happy with my woman doing a lot of nights out without me even though I do understand the need of course.

              I have observed however that in Japan husbands and wives frequently entertain themselves separately. Hubbies drink into the wee hours with buddies, and wives go on weeks of vacations with their girlfriends or moms...

              Never understood that.

              But I guess we simply have common friends, so we go drinking together.

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              • #8
                What would you say if your girl went to male strip clubs. Would you be jealous?

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                • #9
                  Same feeling as you'd have with your boy going to a normal strip joint ... I assume... no?

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                  • #10
                    It always seems to be one-sided jealousy though........like the girl can talk to any one she wants to but as was stated if I go to the conbini and a girl just smiles at me it's like all hell broke lose........then I catch her on the phone for like 2 hours and I ask who was it.......oh it's my ex-boyfriend......................................... ........WHAT!!!!!!!
                    If i even talk about an exgirlfriend It's like the end of the world and a big ass argument for the next 5 hours......
                    go figure

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by anikikokushi
                      It always seems to be one-sided jealousy though........like the girl can talk to any one she wants to but as was stated if I go to the conbini and a girl just smiles at me it's like all hell broke lose........then I catch her on the phone for like 2 hours and I ask who was it.......oh it's my ex-boyfriend......................................... ........WHAT!!!!!!!
                      If i even talk about an exgirlfriend It's like the end of the world and a big ass argument for the next 5 hours......
                      go figure
                      That sounds screwed up, dude. Sorry to hear.

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                      • #12
                        Jealousy is a weakness. Although we've all felt it, controlling it is what counts. Gaijin de Moscu, if you're flipping out like you say you are when someone talks to your girl, I wonder how much longer you'll be together? Imagine how many points you'd score with her if when some guy tries to pick her up, you let her handle the situation by herself? If she's into you as much as you say, don't worry.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by blender
                          Jealousy is a weakness. Although we've all felt it, controlling it is what counts. Gaijin de Moscu, if you're flipping out like you say you are when someone talks to your girl, I wonder how much longer you'll be together? Imagine how many points you'd score with her if when some guy tries to pick her up, you let her handle the situation by herself? If she's into you as much as you say, don't worry.

                          It was a joke. I did not hurt anyone. It was done in good humour, but the guys (ero-jiji) got the message.

                          I am quite secure in her attention to me, and quite able to control my violent urges.

                          Sorry I made it sound too serious... wanted to break this unison of 'Japanese are jealous' by bringing some silly stuff about myself.

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                          • #14
                            Good point Blender, but also keep in mind that chicks like to feel safe. If GdM asserts himself like that with bar scum she'll be quite pleased that she has a man with nuts.
                            I don't get jealous unless a woman wants me to. If a guy is chatting her up and she likes the attention, that's cool. If she doesn't like it, that's when I step in. If a fool does something stupid and doesn't apologize profusely, that's also an invitation to get in his face and start something.
                            ȏ

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                            • #15
                              Good point about the woman wanting you to step in, Morning Star.

                              In my two examples I poked the guy with a billiard stick when I saw her looking like she wanted me to protect her from him; and I stuck the huge bottle of tea into another guy's mouth after he tried to drunkedly sneak behind her (when she was playing pool) and hug her. Of course she was revolted by his behaviour.

                              We laughed a lot in both cases, but the ero-jiji's got it and left her alone.

                              Most revolting of all, the second dude was a highly paid manager whom we both know very well (and respect) in business. Amazing that some respectable people - outwardly with picture-perfect all-american families - turn into horny blockheads after a few beers on Friday.

                              This morning I asked her if she was jealous with me being 'unsupervised' on the other end of the word. She said of course she was with many exclamantion marks. So I rest my case about her not being jealous. She is. Makes me smile, too.

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