Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Top

Collapse

Changed jp bf..

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Changed jp bf..

    Hi all, i'm really looking forward to your feedback about my relationship at the moment. So, i've been with a jp bf for five months now. We actually met in online dating site, i of course didn't see him right away. We chatted via messenger cause i refused to give my number before i feel it right and i feel comfortable with it. So after communicating via messenger for more than a week, we then decided to meet and it was really nice. We both spent 9 hours together that day. He took me to a few beaches and took me to his place (we didnt do anything inappropriate that time) and there he played piano for me. It's just all seems so sweet, and after that we went to have dinner and then we went our own way back to home. After the first meeting he seems eager to see me for the second time. And then 3 days after the first meeting, we meet again for the second time. We went to the botanical garden and spent some time talking to each other, he holds my hand for the first time that day. And after the garden, we went to the movies and when we're watching the movie, he pulled me into his arms. So there goes the lovely second meeting. and he asked me out again. At the third date, he kissed me and things got kinda steamy and BAM we did it. I really like spending time with him, he's really nice eventhough he's really introvert and kinda mysterious because he never talks much about himself, but he's been strange in the past 6 weeks. we actually never have any problem, but then these issues suddenly came up.

    So, he went back to Japan in january, there's nothing strange, everything is good. We communicate via phone everyday and we also chatted via fb too. The thing is, when he was on japan, i told him that i couldnt extend my visa in our recent country so i'll have to go back to my country in early july 2012. When he got back here from japan, he still my same old bf but then within weeks he changed. I'm feeling that he started to push me away, which i dont know why. He started to having problems with holding my hands and sometimes i felt he's really cold and not interested on me anymore (i started to think that he's seeing someone else but when i confronted him, he said that he's been thinking about his problems and his future and maybe that affected his actions to me lately), and then he started to having problems to see me cause he's busy with his education and work (this is the recent issue at the moment). I'm starting to feel depressed about this, i'm feeling inappreciated, unwanted cause of his actions. After i analysed his behavior for the past six weeks, it is really strange, suddenly i'm the one who always asking to see him, suddenly i'm the one whose only excited about our relationship. And the worst of all, he forgot my birthday and we actually spent it together. I didnt tell him that it's my birthday cause i'm pretty sure that he knew, but yeeepp, he forgot. I actually felt like crap that day, it was just an emotional time for me. Well, but then i forgive him, I actually do really like him. When i asked why he changed he finally said that knowing me couldnt stay longer in the country making him controlled his feelings for me. I dont know wether i can believe his words or it's just his reasons to push me away. He said that if it's too painful for me i can just leave him.

    We're gonna have a talk tomorrow. And to be honest, i've taken a decision to leave him. I know i'm going to miss him so bad and all the things, but as i said i felt inappreciated, unwanted and taken for granted. I'm trying my best for him, i really do, i cooked for him, come to his place to spend a few days with him, help him clean his place, try to cheer him up when he had a bad day. I just couldnt understand why he's doing this. If it's because of i'm going back to my country in july, to be honest, i think he's really selfish. Selfish cause he only thinks about himself, he didnt think about my feelings too. If he thinks we shouldnt be together anymore then he should talk to me instead of doing all these crappy things.

    I just hope i didnt bore all of you with my story. I believe that if he really loves me, i wouldnt feel like i'm struggling alone in this relationship. I believe that if he really wants to be with me then there will be a way for us. But apparently, i guess he didnt think so. Ooohh, FYI, he's still a student in here, he's 32 and i'm 26. We're both in Australia at the moment. So, what do u think about my story??

  • #2
    I gave up after, "Hi all"...



    (but at least the OP didn't intro his epic novel with, "So,...", which is not a bad start)

    Comment


    • #3
      Please tell me you are a chick.
      Fred

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by shonanfred View Post
        Please tell me you are a chick.
        Fred
        No, I'm a guy.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hahaha

          Originally posted by HairyHurry View Post
          I gave up after, "Hi all"...
          Me too! *high five*

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ThaHamburgler View Post
            Me too! *high five*
            Me three! *high five*

            Comment


            • #7
              Aaaawwwww. Thanks for the feedback guys. I just hope when you're in a hard situation in your life and you're asking someone's advice, they would actually came up with something that can help you instead og giving some bad jokes. Cheers

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by rievi View Post
                I just hope i didnt bore all of you with my story. I believe that if he really loves me, i wouldnt feel like i'm struggling alone in this relationship. I believe that if he really wants to be with me then there will be a way for us. But apparently, i guess he didnt think so. Ooohh, FYI, he's still a student in here, he's 32 and i'm 26. We're both in Australia at the moment. So, what do u think about my story??
                A 32 year old Japanese student? Pretty odd. Japanese usually do education by the book and are finished by their mid 20s.

                Comment


                • #9
                  @ Andun : yes. he's done his master degree back in japan. now studying a totally different subject in australia. he's been in here for 2 years and 8 months. he left his life in japan to struggle in here. so it might be another pressure for him cause he's not that young anymore..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by rievi View Post
                    Aaaawwwww. Thanks for the feedback guys. I just hope when you're in a hard situation in your life and you're asking someone's advice, they would actually came up with something that can help you instead og giving some bad jokes. Cheers


                    I just hope that when I'm in a hard situation in my life I can explain it in less than a book...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by therethatbeendone
                      I am afraid that is what it is like here, rievi ... there is a lot of sarcasm, nastiness and what you might class as immature male behavior. It can be funny sometimes but it is a bit of a 'bar room' type environment and probably not one for raising questions like your own. There are a few sincere people but they are quickly drowned out.

                      Where are you from ... and are you hoping go and live in Japan? You say your own visa is running out.


                      * I think the admin ought to start a women only, woman moderated forum.

                      Wouldn't work. It would have to stop once a month for a short period....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by HairyHurry View Post
                        I just hope that when I'm in a hard situation in my life I can explain it in less than a book...

                        Good on you

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          @ therethatbeendone : thank you for ur concern. I appreciate that a lot. Well, to be honest, i'm into sarcasm and jokes too, but i know when it's time to take something seriously and when it's time to joke or to use the sarcasm. Maybe they're not having some bad intentions by making joke on my situations, maybe they just wanted me to lighten up. As i say, maybeeee

                          Well, i don't have any plans to live in japan and neither is my bf. He doesn't want to come back to that hard life. And you were asking about my nationality right?? I'm dutch indonesian, was born and raised in indonesia but i'm in australia at the moment

                          Really?? There will be a forum for women?? I couldn't be happier

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Don't worry there is still hope! We have a pro here. A guy here on the forums with an anime avatar (yeah sorry forgot his name) that PM's everyone who have a relationship problem.

                            You already received his PM?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              @ Genkii : aawwwhh, thanks for being nice. No i haven't actually..

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X