Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Top

Collapse

married and japanese "entertainment"

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • married and japanese "entertainment"

    Hey everyone. My first post. So I've been living here for about 9 months now with my wife who is Japanese. We're from North America. I don't speak japanese, and because I work mostly from home I don't meet very many people. I have a couple ok gaijins but there is a problem. They always want to go to places where you pay for various levels of female companionship. They are also married and have told me its cool and its the norm here. I have yet to follow up on this offer, but it puts me in a bad spot because they're pretty much the only guys I know and my only chance to really leave the house. I don't want to do anything that would get me in crap with the wife and back home its pretty much "if you can't tell you're wife what you did last night, you shouldn't be doing it". Pretty much loosing my mind here cause I never get out.

    What do other people here do if they're invited out for a night with the guys? Do all guys who live in Japan do this sort of thing? HELP!

  • #2
    Originally posted by whatablast2008 View Post
    Hey everyone. My first post. So I've been living here for about 9 months now with my wife who is Japanese. We're from North America. I don't speak japanese, and because I work mostly from home I don't meet very many people. I have a couple ok gaijins but there is a problem. They always want to go to places where you pay for various levels of female companionship. They are also married and have told me its cool and its the norm here. I have yet to follow up on this offer, but it puts me in a bad spot because they're pretty much the only guys I know and my only chance to really leave the house. I don't want to do anything that would get me in crap with the wife and back home its pretty much "if you can't tell you're wife what you did last night, you shouldn't be doing it". Pretty much loosing my mind here cause I never get out.

    What do other people here do if they're invited out for a night with the guys? Do all guys who live in Japan do this sort of thing? HELP!
    My personal policy is, "No pictures, no proof!"

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by whatablast2008 View Post
      What do other people here do if they're invited out for a night with the guys? Do all guys who live in Japan do this sort of thing? HELP!
      Are you talking about strip clubs, hostess bars or soaplands?

      Many Japanese women let husbands do stuff as long as they dont hear about it or they come home and try out new techniques on the wife.

      Maybe find new friends.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by whatablast2008 View Post
        Hey everyone. My first post. So I've been living here for about 9 months now with my wife who is Japanese. We're from North America. I don't speak japanese, and because I work mostly from home I don't meet very many people. I have a couple ok gaijins but there is a problem. They always want to go to places where you pay for various levels of female companionship. They are also married and have told me its cool and its the norm here. I have yet to follow up on this offer, but it puts me in a bad spot because they're pretty much the only guys I know and my only chance to really leave the house. I don't want to do anything that would get me in crap with the wife and back home its pretty much "if you can't tell you're wife what you did last night, you shouldn't be doing it". Pretty much loosing my mind here cause I never get out.

        What do other people here do if they're invited out for a night with the guys? Do all guys who live in Japan do this sort of thing? HELP!
        You're better to loose your mind than to hang out with such 'friends'. They're not your friends. They don't care if your marriage gets into trouble. So, you might as well start from zero again in regard to how many friend you have in Japan.

        I'd start with joining a club or doing a sport.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by KansaiBen View Post
          Are you talking about strip clubs, hostess bars or soaplands?

          Many Japanese women let husbands do stuff as long as they dont hear about it or they come home and try out new techniques on the wife.

          Maybe find new friends.
          Don't know what its called. They said you pretty much pay to make out with chicks and drink, and if you want to pay more there's usually places that offer more.

          Besides being married, back home we don't need to pay for women. You go strut your stuff at a bar and if you can't get any its your own fault.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Since1990 View Post
            You're better to loose your mind than to hang out with such 'friends'. They're not your friends. They don't care if your marriage gets into trouble. So, you might as well start from zero again in regard to how many friend you have in Japan.

            I'd start with joining a club or doing a sport.
            Thats what I was thinking too. Most guys I "know" here that seem decent don't speak english though. And the english speakers go to these places. Another guy I met durring a business lunch wanted to go to a place like this some time in the evening. That makes it even worse cause saying no potentially means loosing cash. I've been beating around the bush with him as to not meet up in the evenings, but instead for for coffee.

            Comment


            • #7
              Got to agree with "Since1990", they probably have wives uglier than sin! If you want to leave the house do so, there is nothing wrong with going out by yourself and finding your own adventures! There are places for all kinds of things and so what if you don;t speak Japanese, somebody will understand what you want and will help yo getting it. After all it is 2012 not 1600! Were are you, bum fack countryside?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by whatablast2008 View Post
                Don't know what its called. They said you pretty much pay to make out with chicks and drink, and if you want to pay more there's usually places that offer more.

                Besides being married, back home we don't need to pay for women. You go strut your stuff at a bar and if you can't get any its your own fault.
                Hostess bars the women are not prostitutes and can not solicit customers on company premises. They are paid to pour drinks sit on your lap and hear about the rough day you had at work. Some places if the woman is willing and you become a regular client you can make your own arrangements "off-premises", as long as you come and spend money at the bar.

                Soaplands are essentially a brothel. Pay for the massage rub-down and they will give you "extras".

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by whatablast2008 View Post
                  What do other people here do if they're invited out for a night with the guys? Do all guys who live in Japan do this sort of thing? HELP!
                  I would find a new group of people to hangout with.
                  One thing to start with that would help you find foreign friends and improve your quality of life is to get into a Japanese class. There are a lot of volunteer classes that charge almost nothing. You can go in with zero Japanese ability and they will get you started from there.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by KansaiBen View Post
                    Hostess bars the women are not prostitutes and can not solicit customers on company premises. They are paid to pour drinks sit on your lap and hear about the rough day you had at work. Some places if the woman is willing and you become a regular client you can make your own arrangements "off-premises", as long as you come and spend money at the bar.
                    Having known several women that have worked at these places.. THEY ARE PROSTITUTES.
                    But as you say, they don't have sex with every guy that goes in there and one usually has to be a regular first.
                    MOST of the women that work in kyaba have had sex with at least one of their customers. It's not an everyday thing, but it's not a never thing either.

                    [EDIT- to KB]
                    PS... You say that they "can not solicit customers on company premises", but I know a few that told me that they hated it when the mama kept telling them to have sex with customers. Maybe legally, you are right, but there are definately a few mamas out there that push the girls to have sex.
                    Last edited by nynapaj; 2012-06-19, 09:01 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It depends on the girl. The girls who do best/most popular girls put out. For them it's a bit of a balancing game - put out too early, the customer moves on to another girl. Wait too long, the customer moves on to another girl. They have to time it right.

                      To the OP - if you don't want to go to the girlie bars, say so. Hang out with your buddies, and when they go girling, bow out (sorry, guys, I'm not in, have fun!) and go have a drink by yourself somewhere. Meet some new people. If the guys have a problem with that, they aren't worth being friends with. But I think most guys will be understanding of that.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by nynapaj View Post
                        I would find a new group of people to hangout with.
                        One thing to start with that would help you find foreign friends and improve your quality of life is to get into a Japanese class. There are a lot of volunteer classes that charge almost nothing. You can go in with zero Japanese ability and they will get you started from there.
                        This is actually good advice. Even if you don't meet anyone interesting atleast your japanese will improve.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Invite your wife out

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If..

                            ...you're from North America and your friends asked you to go to a strip club,would you go and what would you say to your wife before you went,or would you not say anything? If you went,would anything happen? If something did,that decision would have been yours,would it have not? If you did do something,would you tell your wife? If your friends offered you drugs,would you do them? If your friends jumped off of a bridge,would you jump too? I think you see where I'm going with this.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by nynapaj View Post
                              PS... You say that they "can not solicit customers on company premises", but I know a few that told me that they hated it when the mama kept telling them to have sex with customers. Maybe legally, you are right, but there are definately a few mamas out there that push the girls to have sex.
                              But can they say no to customers they dont want to have sex with? Most hostesses do not lose their jobs if they wont sleep with clients. Some hostess clubs may be defacto call girl joints but it doesnt mean all of them are.. They may lose extra income or lose clients if they dont sleep with a client but the pressure is on there to keep the client coming back and spending money and as someone mentioned the offer is there if they need it with some girls, but it is not de facto the case with ALL hostesses. One can always quit if the pressure becomes too much.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X