Who sleeps in your room?

[Deathblob]

I'm living the 3rd world, everyone-in-the-same-room lifestyle (my kid is in elementary school).

Do you have your own room? Do your kids?

[cucashopboy]

Sleep by myself if I have work the next day. Sleep with the wife and children if I don't.

[Genkii]

I sleep with my imaginary girlfriend every night.

Untill I wake up. Then she is gone

[Effected After]

I sleep with my wife and kid, but personally I like that. He'll get older and want to sleep alone soon enough, so I enjoy it now.

[Harp]

My son slept in our room until he was about 3 or 4; he has his own room so now it's just me and the missus

[well_bicyclically]

I snuggle up to the pussy everynight and give it a few playful strokes to get the motor humming, and then we drift of to the land of Nod....

[TJrandom]

I snuggle up to the pussy everynight and give it a few playful strokes to get the motor humming, and then we drift of to the land of Nod....

I try that sometimes myself - and sometimes it works, and sometimes I get my hand slapped....

[HarryHurry]

The wife tells me I can only have my own room when I'm grown up...

[YokohamaTommy]

Me:
Under a pile of wife and babies.
Eldest kicked me in the cajones this morning in his sleep.

I built him a bunk bed, but he's 5,
so I assume he won't be a permanent resident of that bed until next year.

It's interesting, the differences in child raising here than in the West in terms of the self-reliance/filial bonds concepts.

[Effected After]

I prefer this way. I don't think it's natural to have kids sleeping in their own room when they are still babies.

[91Coupe]

I prefer this way. I don't think it's natural to have kids sleeping in their own room when they are still babies.

I put my son in his own room at 9 months. Natural or not, we all sleep a lot better.

[YokohamaTommy]

I put my son in his own room at 9 months. Natural or not, we all sleep a lot better.

Interesting.
So what is your solution when (And this is by NO means any sort of judgement) baby cries at night?
Momma or Pappa just handles the issue like everyone else but just by distance of a room?

[shonanfred]

I sleep with the little dude during the week (wife works/i work from home) and we all squeeze into the same bed on the weekends.
The dog sleeps downstairs because he is a bedhog.
Fred

[Effected After]

I put my son in his own room at 9 months. Natural or not, we all sleep a lot better.

Well, westerners have been doing it forever, so I don't think it causes long-term damage or anything. But I'd suspect that putting babies to sleep by themselves is a fairly modern thing.

[91Coupe]

Interesting.
So what is your solution when (And this is by NO means any sort of judgement) baby cries at night?
Momma or Pappa just handles the issue like everyone else but just by distance of a room?

Before we go to bed we use a baby monitor to listen to him from the living room and he has no problem waking us up through the paper thin walls of our house.
Even though he is in another room, its only about 6 or 7 steps from my bed to his.

[YokohamaTommy]

Before we go to bed we use a baby monitor to listen to him from the living room and he has no problem waking us up through the paper thin walls of our house.
Even though he is in another room, its only about 6 or 7 steps from my bed to his.

Ah. Forgot about monitors.
Wife won't have 'em.
That and strollers.

[rich dude kryptonite]

My kids have their own rooms at the moment, although babes are in our room until they sleep through the night. Littlest one (13 months) has recently moved out although it is much easier with babies in the room. I get a lot more sleep when I am not trudging through the house at 3am.

My kids all pile in on the weekends from about 5am and I love that.

[hml]

I sleep with my imaginary girlfriend every night.

Untill I wake up. Then she is gone

whoah. dude. that was like.... completely honest, man!

I snuggle up to the pussy everynight and give it a few playful strokes to get the motor humming, and then we drift of to the land of Nod....

That could be a thread starter!

[well_bicyclically]

I prefer this way. I don't think it's natural to have kids sleeping in their own room when they are still babies.

Buddha knows, this country's high suicide rate and the overall mental health of the populous are a living testament to the soundness of the practice of shared sleeping quarters....

[Genkii]

whoah. dude. that was like.... completely honest, man!



That could be a thread starter!

I know right, but there is a cute japanese girl coming over at new year. She said the winter won't be cold 'cause she's with me. I've been gyaku nanpa'd!

(ofcourse I know she just want marriage to escape japan, but I just play along)

So there's still hope for me! I won't sleep alone forever!

[well_bicyclically]

So there's still hope for me! I won't sleep alone forever!

Perhaps if you were to walk away from the computer games, etc....

[thefg]

I'm living the 3rd world, everyone-in-the-same-room lifestyle (my kid is in elementary school).

Do you have your own room? Do your kids?

i have four empty bedrooms in my house since i 'moved' downstairs to sleep in single storey annex (due to earthquake risk)!

my son takes up 99% of the bed so he gets his own

[Genkii]

Perhaps if you were to walk away from the computer games, etc....

I want to have a wife and still able to do my own things without her complaing.

You say that's impossible?

[Hijinx]

I'm usually too drunk to know who's sleeping with me. But more power to them if they can sleep over the snoring.

[YokohamaTommy]

I want to have a wife and still able to do my own things without her complaing.

You say that's impossible?

Do you want your Mommy to hold your hand, feed you milk and cuddle your tummy also?

Look, to understand Japanese wives is simple:

Their job is complex.
Yours is simple:

Make the money, clean the bathtub, play with the kids, ask for おかわり and sling the Python often and forcefully.
That's it.
Anything else is just an excuse in Japanese society really.

As long as you are doing your job, you'll be treated like a king and can get away with murder.

If you are doing your job and you aren't treated like a king, just tell her parents, they'll kick her arse six ways to Sunday and shame/nag her into compliance.
If you aren't at least making money, no matter how badly she treats you YOU'LL be the one to blame.
And of course, the moment you stop doing your simple jobs,
she has no use for you.

And can you blame her?

Disclaimer: This really only works for proper Japanese women. All those Gaijin hunters, assorted wack-jobs, diseased Gas-panic sluts and misfit losers that most foreigners mistake for real Japanese only serve to befuddle like-minded souls, and frankly in that case, they probably deserve each other.

[Genkii]

Do you want your Mommy to hold your hand, feed you milk and cuddle your tummy also?

Look, to understand Japanese wives is simple:

Their job is complex.
Yours is simple:

Make the money, clean the bathtub, play with the kids, ask for おかわり and sling the Python often and forcefully.
That's it.
Anything else is just an excuse in Japanese society really.

As long as you are doing your job, you'll be treated like a king and can get away with murder.

If you are doing your job and you aren't treated like a king, just tell her parents, they'll kick her arse six ways to Sunday and shame/nag her into compliance.
If you aren't at least making money, no matter how badly she treats you YOU'LL be the one to blame.
And of course, the moment you stop doing your simple jobs,
she has no use for you.

And can you blame her?

Disclaimer: This really only works for proper Japanese women. All those Gaijin hunters, assorted wack-jobs, diseased Gas-panic sluts and misfit losers that most foreigners mistake for real Japanese only serve to befuddle like-minded souls, and frankly in that case, they probably deserve each other.

Yes I know this. This is part of the reason why I'm frustrated.

And can you blame her?

I can't blame them since women are discriminated against and earn atleast 50% less then a men in the same position. So yes it's harder for a women to make a living I get that. But it would be nice if a japanese women would like me for who I am and not because of my status or money. Am I young and naive? Maybe.

I once asked my japanese exgf why she liked me. I thought she would say something about my personality or things we had in common (we had the same music taste) but no she just said because I was hard working. I literally thought wow is that all.. Nice guy? Noone gives a crap. Not saying they SHOULD. (they should do whatever they want to) but yes..

I see japanese women no other then slaves. You bring home the money and you get sex in return. (If you're lucky)

Maybe I was raised the wrong way but finding a soulmate in your partner is just NOT going to happen with a japanese women. It's sad.

[Effected After]

Buddha knows, this country's high suicide rate and the overall mental health of the populous are a living testament to the soundness of the practice of shared sleeping quarters....

So you are saying these issues would go away if kids were forced to sleep in their own beds from a young age?

[mr.sumo.snr]

I came up with a decent analogy for the middle-aged husband (gaijin or not) of a Japanese wife yesterday when chatting with a mate about our mutual friends who has his balls well squeezed in a vice:

Middle-aged husband is like a spare tire. You wouldn't ever leave on a long journey without one. It's a necessary functional item. But certainly NOT the most exciting thing about your car and rarely is its condition checked - except when required and even then 99% of the time it presents in sound working condition.

Discuss.



--

[Piethrower]

My 1 year 9 m/o son sleeps in his own room with Wan Wan & U-tan. He seems content enough. At eight bells his Mom whispers 'Wan Wan U-tan' and he jumps into her arms whereupon we all head upstairs for the tuck-in ritual. He accepts goodnightly kisses from everyone including our dog and then quickly submits to the sandman.

I came up with a decent analogy for the middle-aged husband (gaijin or not) of a Japanese wife yesterday when chatting with a mate about our mutual friends who has his balls well squeezed in a vice:

Middle-aged husband is like a spare tire. You wouldn't ever leave on a long journey without one. It's a necessary functional item. But certainly NOT the most exciting thing about your car and rarely is its condition checked - except when required and even then 99% of the time it presents in sound working condition.

Discuss.

--

If you were a tire you'd be as flat as that analogy, my friend. And it seems to be apropos of nothing...Who let you out of the trunk?

[cucashopboy]

My 1 year 9 m/o son sleeps in his own room with Wan Wan & U-tan. He seems content enough. At eight bells his Mom whispers 'Wan Wan U-tan' and he jumps into her arms whereupon we all head upstairs for the tuck-in ritual. He accepts goodnightly kisses from everyone including our dog and then quickly submits to the sandman.

Impressed and envious that your child sleeps in a different room, and at 8pm too! My 5 year old still shows no interest in wanting a separate room, and the 2 year old is often still awake at 10pm (though I've just had a friendly chat with his teacher at nursery - could he sleep a bit less during the day?). How did you manage it?

[Piethrower]

Impressed and envious that your child sleeps in a different room, and at 8pm too! My 5 year old still shows no interest in wanting a separate room, and the 2 year old is often still awake at 10pm (though I've just had a friendly chat with his teacher at nursery - could he sleep a bit less during the day?). How did you manage it?

I'm not sure that we did anything in particular. He's a hyperactive adventurer during the day and only gets one nap so he's probably just plain exhausted by 8pm. I know we are...

[mr.sumo.snr]

My 1 year 9 m/o son sleeps in his own room with Wan Wan & U-tan. He seems content enough. At eight bells his Mom whispers 'Wan Wan U-tan' and he jumps into her arms whereupon we all head upstairs for the tuck-in ritual. He accepts goodnightly kisses from everyone including our dog and then quickly submits to the sandman.



If you were a tire you'd be as flat as that analogy, my friend. And it seems to be apropos of nothing...Who let you out of the trunk?

One day you'll wake up and realize you're just along for the ride.


--

[Piethrower]

One day you'll wake up and realize you're just along for the ride.


--

Why? Because you and your old sad-arsed mate sit around comparing yourselves to spare tires? I got better poems in me and a better future.

[ozzijp]

Impressed and envious that your child sleeps in a different room, and at 8pm too! My 5 year old still shows no interest in wanting a separate room, and the 2 year old is often still awake at 10pm (though I've just had a friendly chat with his teacher at nursery - could he sleep a bit less during the day?). How did you manage it?

It is not rocket science. Just go home and ask your mum, sisters, friends, friends of friends...everyone does it.

That said, I couldn't do it either here...or there for that matter; prognosis negative.

[YokohamaTommy]

Yes I know this. This is part of the reason why I'm frustrated.

Ask yourself why the need to be "loved" is so important.
Children "need" to be loved. Not grown men.

But it would be nice if a japanese women would like me for who I am and not because of my status or money.

Love doesn't pay the bills, or feed your family.
As far as a woman liking you for who you are, why isn't it enough that you like yourself for who you are?
Why must you drag someone else into the mix?
Besides, you can never really know if *anyone* truly loves you, and so what if they don't? is that how you define happiness?
Simply by a woman's affections?
Weak.

I once asked my japanese exgf why she liked me. I thought she would say something about my personality or things we had in common (we had the same music taste) but no she just said because I was hard working. I literally thought wow is that all.. Nice guy? Noone gives a crap.

Any woman worth having is a woman who doesn't want to be your Mommy.
Are you the man in the relationship, or the needy little child, begging Mommy for attention?
Why would a woman want to be with a man who can't make money?
What's in it for her? Hint: It ain't our sparkling personalities.

Think of it this way: Men respect other men with power, knowledge, and finances. That is the way of the world.
Women also respect men with the balls to play the game, and play it well.
If you are a nice guy, well, that's just icing on the cake.
Ask any woman if she'd like to have a model for a husband but who doesn't work and is emotionally needy, Vs. A so-so looking husband who is a good provider, confident of himself and acts like he doesn't need her love.

I see japanese women no other then slaves. You bring home the money and you get sex in return. (If you're lucky)

Generally speaking, the more money you bring home, the more sex you will get. if not, get a new wife, and no one will blame you.

Maybe I was raised the wrong way but finding a soulmate in your partner is just NOT going to happen with a japanese women. It's sad.

[/QUOTE]

Soulmate? LOL.
What's sad is that you seem to believe in all that jazz.
Wake up, boy.
Stop clinging to women for emotional support.
Trust me, women, love, romance; these things are NOT the solution to men's problems.

[Genkii]

So basically I just need to grow a pair?

These are all valid points and I see where you're coming from, but why marry at all if love doesn't exist? (aside from getting a visa and increasing your job chances) Oh I answered my own question.

Everything feels so superficial.

Now excuse me I go watch some pr0n before I get depressed.

[YokohamaTommy]

So basically I just need to grow a pair?
These are all valid points and I see where you're coming from, but why marry at all if love doesn't exist? .

Marriage exists for one purpose only:
As a stable platform for raising children.

Everything feels so superficial.

____ just got real.

[Nagoyaguy]

Don't mean to be rude, but...

...those of you who sleep in the 'communal bed', what do you do about getting laid? IMHO mommy and daddy deserve a bit of privacy at the end of the day. Married couples need space for intimacy and to remember that they are a couple, as well as parents. Plus, kids need to learn how to take care of themselves, and that mommy/daddy aren't at their beck and call for every little thing. I don't advocate locking kids in their rooms, but I DO advocate mommy and daddy locking themselves into THEIR room. The marital bedroom should be a bit of a private place.

As for kids crying at night, let them cry. They'll stop eventually. Check to make sure they are OK, not injured or being pinched by something. Don't talk to them or soothe them or anything, just do the check and then leave.

At the other end, praise them lavishly if they can sleep through the night or get through the night without bugging mommy/daddy. Tell them they are getting to be big boys/girls, you are proud of them etc.

Another disturbing trend I've noticed among my married with J-wives colleagues is the tendency for them to call their wives "Okaasan". Blech.........

[Effected After]

...those of you who sleep in the 'communal bed', what do you do about getting laid? IMHO mommy and daddy deserve a bit of privacy at the end of the day.

At the end of the day, I almost always just want to sleep. I'm burnt out from a day of work, and my testosterone levels are at the lowest all day. I'd rather have a romp in the morning.

For the first few years after my son was born, we'd slip away to the shower while he was napping, of if he passed out on the sofa, we'd duck into the bedroom for a bit. Now that he goes goes to kindergarten we have a lot more free time together, which has made things better.

kids need to learn how to take care of themselves

Not until they are at least three years old. Babies don't need to learn how to take care of themselves, and neither do toddlers.

As for kids crying at night, let them cry.

That's the Western way of looking at it. I can't say I agree with it - I'd rather have my kid sleep with me and not need to cry.

[cucashopboy]

Don't mean to be rude, but...

...those of you who sleep in the 'communal bed', what do you do about getting laid? IMHO mommy and daddy deserve a bit of privacy at the end of the day. Married couples need space for intimacy and to remember that they are a couple, as well as parents. Plus, kids need to learn how to take care of themselves, and that mommy/daddy aren't at their beck and call for every little thing. I don't advocate locking kids in their rooms, but I DO advocate mommy and daddy locking themselves into THEIR room. The marital bedroom should be a bit of a private place.

As for kids crying at night, let them cry. They'll stop eventually. Check to make sure they are OK, not injured or being pinched by something. Don't talk to them or soothe them or anything, just do the check and then leave.

At the other end, praise them lavishly if they can sleep through the night or get through the night without bugging mommy/daddy. Tell them they are getting to be big boys/girls, you are proud of them etc.

Another disturbing trend I've noticed among my married with J-wives colleagues is the tendency for them to call their wives "Okaasan". Blech.........

Nagoyaguy - We drag the futon in the other room when the children are sleeping. It's turned into a nice little ritual where the cucashopgirl will put some nice undies on while I do the dragging. Although I'd like her to myself all night, it's not practical at the moment because of space. I agree with all of EA's comments - If the children need comfort and security, give it to them. They'll acquire independence in their own time once they feel secure. That's the theory anyway, and it's working beautifully with one boy but not the other boy.

"Okaasan" - yuck!