Literary turns of phrase

[Kokorozashi]

Okay, first of all, why.

I'm heading to the elevator in my company, the doors are closing but I manage to suimasen my way in. I tell one of the dudes in the elevator 12th floor please.

An old dude Ive not seen before standing next to me says "nihongo jozu desu ne."

Okay, it really doesn't get to me that much. But its never happened in the elevator of my own goddemn company before.
I gave the standard reply and stood in awkward silence the rest of the minute up.

I suppose he was being friendly, and in some way the onus may have been on me to say something about the weather and just be friendly. (Note: Tokyo is steadily draining the friendly out of me.)

So aside from being rude or outright lying and saying I grew up in Japan and Im as Japanese as he is (just for the mindfeck value), I couldnt think of anything clever to say.

Anyone know any poems or lines from books that, even in if not 100% appropriate, would give the bugger something to ponder and just emphasize the fact that complimenting someone on saying "12th floor please" is beyond ridiculous.

I'm neither smart nor literary enough to come up with such prose on my own, my own creations being likely to either prompt more "sugoi"s or just be rude.

Haaaaalp me pleeeeeese...

[eku]

一家に
遊女もねたり
萩と月

hitotsuya ni
yujo mo netari
hagi to tsuki

Under the same roof
Prostitutes were sleeping—
The moon and clover

松尾芭蕉 Matsuo Basho

[eku]

朝顔に
我は飯食ふ
男かな

asagao ni
ware wa meshi ku
otoko kana

I am one
Who eats his breakfast,
Gazing at morning glories.

松尾芭蕉

[sincity]

I'm neither smart nor literary enough to come up with such prose on my own, my own creations being likely to either prompt more "sugoi"s or just be rude.

Haaaaalp me pleeeeeese...

I don't know how many times I have to tell you, mate. You shouldn't take it so hard. And you sho' as hell shouldn't be quoting Basho either...(Eku, you're as bad as J.T sometimes.)

But here's one that has served me very well when being complimented on elevators:
ありがとう。おまえの裸を想像していいですか。

Be sure to leer at his low-hangers and lick your lips when you say this. It ain't exactly literary but it does come from Murakami.

Note: This little gem can be used to shock/____ off/end conversations in any situation but might be mistaken for 皮肉 at onsens.

[eku]

Paulh wrote: You dont need to be female to know what its like to be pregnant.

are you serious??? or rather was paulh serious?????
he must have had serious constipation...

[kurogane]

are you serious??? or rather was paulh serious?????
he must have had serious constipation...

I give birth every morning, regoolar as clockwork.
Mind you, little bebby bacteria aren't half as cute as them bebby hoomins.