Housewifes collecting a fortune

[electric_japan]

Japanese housewives amassing secret fortunes
Mon Feb 20, 9:37 AM ET
(Yahoo News)

Nearly half of Japan's housewives keep money secret from their husbands and most of them doubt their spouses have any idea about it, a survey found, showing women's hold the purse strings here.
About 46 percent of housewives said they had secret funds, with the sum averaging 2.41 million yen (20,000 dollars), according to a survey of 500 wives in salary-earning households by Sompo Japan DIY Life Insurance.
The hidden savings seem to be accumulating with time, as the average sum was four million yen for housewives in their 50s, nearly three times as much as the 1.46 million yen for those in their 20s.
On the other hand, 76 percent of the women believe their husbands keep no such secret money.
Even those who suspect their husbands have funds they don't know about estimate the sum at a modest 364,000 yen.
"After all, most wives believe their husbands have no secret assets and they have a grip on their family purse strings," the life insurer said.

[User Name Deleted]

I wonder what Paul H will have to say about this E.J.

[electric_japan]

It's not easy living in Japan.
Tears fall like rain when lady fingers strike.
Inhabiting the wallet of Paulh are those familiar striking lady fingers.
The clouds of recognizable lady fingers will take away anyone's sunshine in Japan.

Many husbands use every mode of transportation from train to bike to hang glider to escape the familiar lady picking fingers.

[person]

Perhaps the average JP man (whoever he might be) isn't saving as much; however....

I know more than a few men who are in the position where at least some of their yearly earnings are NOT going to the wife. And it's not just the ones living abroad.

I know a few men who have some of their bonuses, etc. paid to them...to use as they see fit. Perhaps their bosses (or in a few cases, they are the boss) understand their predicament and want to give them some freedom. Not sure. Suffice it to say though, they have more than a little nestegg...if not spending it on others. I'm sure the majority of their money goes to the wife (maybe?), but certainly not all. I can't see some of the men I know being that...strapped for access to resources.

[Glen Twenty]

I have some questions in regards to this topic

what do they save for?

The Future?

Shopping?

Children?

Extra marital affairs?

I am quite perplexed by the domination of women when it comes to financial management in the family unit.

does this occur at all socio-economic levels here?

Glen Twenty

[B1-B2]

Is that you in your avatar?

[User Name Deleted]

Japanese men don't control the family finances, and I wonder if it is just women taking advantage of their position.


Likewise, I have funds that my wife does not know about and probably won't until we decide to buy a property somewhere.

[in.between]

Japanese men don't control the family finances, and I wonder if it is just women taking advantage of their position.


Likewise, I have funds that my wife does not know about and probably won't until we decide to buy a property somewhere.

i am not sure how that all happens. is this true for gaijin men married to japanese women?


i wouldnt be able to deal with that at all.

[in.between]

so upon further thought.


what i gather from gpot forums and hearsay that basically once you marry a japanese woman you get very little sex and then you have no money.



sounding pretty grim.

[User Name Deleted]

i am not sure how that all happens. is this true for gaijin men married to japanese women?


i wouldnt be able to deal with that at all.

Gaijin men tend not to go along with the whole wife handles the finances thing.

Those that do allow their wife to hold the wallet like Paul H does, suffer dearly for it.

[paulh]

I have some questions in regards to this topic

what do they save for?

The Future?

Shopping?

Children?

Extra marital affairs?

I am quite perplexed by the domination of women when it comes to financial management in the family unit.

does this occur at all socio-economic levels here?

Glen Twenty

My wife and I discussed this the other day. The rule of thumb is that you should have at least 6 months salary in liquid cash in emergencies. To give you an example if you were to be killed in an accident (or your wife) you would need to spend at least 2 million yen to put on a Buddhist funeral in japan. CASH. They wont hold on until you save up the money or borrow from a sarakin (loan shark)

My family is planning a move to Australia. Not only do you need full airfares, you need a place to live, rent and key money, enough money to live on for 2-3 months without working, money in case of hospitalisation. Need to buy a car.

I have children so I have school fees and university fees to think of (dont count on money magically appearing when they are 20, many middle class parents in the US can now not afford a college education for their kids). In Japan a degree for your kids will cost 5 or 6 million yen.

Children and education are obviously the biggest expenses. In Japan count on spending about $150,000 per child from the time they are born until they graduate from university in 24 years time.


Something Libertine doesnt know much about (yet).


Then you have to save up money for retirement. You might live another 20 years after you retire at 60. The only money you get is what you invest over your working life. IF you want to earn every year what you get now after you are 60 you will need something like over a million dollars invested to net your income in interest.

[paulh]

Gaijin men tend not to go along with the whole wife handles the finances thing.

Those that do allow their wife to hold the wallet like Paul H does, suffer dearly for it.

J.T.


Car is in my name

House in New Zealand is in joint names

Overseas pension is in joint names and my name.

yes life is a b-itch but Im not poor.

Wifey just makes sure all the bills get paid.

[User Name Deleted]

J.T.


Car is in my name

House in New Zealand is in joint names

Overseas pension is in joint names and my name.

yes life is a b-itch but Im not poor.

Wifey just makes sure all the bills get paid.

You're definitely not poor, that's for sure. I was referring to the amount of pocket money you get!

[paulh]

You're definitely not poor, that's for sure. I was referring to the amount of pocket money you get!

It went down to 10,000 yen a month last month. I have no classes and dont go out so much so theres nothing to spend it on except DVDs.

Got around that by raiding the cookie jar and privates.

[thickmick]

It went down to 10,000 yen a month last month. I have no classes and dont go out so much so theres nothing to spend it on except DVDs.

Got around that by raiding the cookie jar and privates.

Paul r u saying your spending money is 10,000 but you can get secret money from privates ? Does your wife know about these classes ?

last night I met an indian guy whio got truly screwed by his wife , he got 10,000 like you and then raided his account took all the cash and tried to spring the "sign this love " its for your passport ,or really divorce papers.He managed not to sign but she still kicked him out in december when he had nowhere to go and no cash

be careful out there !!!!

[paulh]

I wonder what Paul H will have to say about this E.J.

What do I say?


Most of the savings comes from either husbands income or bonus, wifes part time job, maybe family inheritance etc.

Many women in their 50's dont have regular full time jobs in Japan.

Another reason is the 'silver divorce' phenomenon. Many women now plan to divorce husbands when they retire from the company. they save up the money, wait till kids are independent and then split from husband with money they have saved up.

I have recentlyt heard about a Narita rikon for seniors where elderly wives divorce their husbands after returning from overseas trips with the husbands, when they realise what boors and clueless dolts they are.

[paulh]

Paul r u saying your spending money is 10,000 but you can get secret money from privates ? Does your wife know about these classes ?

last night I met an indian guy whio got truly screwed by his wife , he got 10,000 like you and then raided his account took all the cash and tried to spring the "sign this love " its for your passport ,or really divorce papers.He managed not to sign but she still kicked him out in december when he had nowhere to go and no cash

be careful out there !!!!

I only have one regular private now. I have been getting some extra money from weddings etc so she doesnt complain too much when i take out 5,000 yen etc. She just doenst like me frittering money. I have 10,000 yen in my wallet and it just goes.

Im trying to pay for school fees at the moment which are about 500,000 yen or 150,000 yen a pop every few months. Had a run of bad luck (long story) as I quit my PT job (thought I would be leaving japan but plans changed) would mean a drop in income which has to be made up. Wifey says if i dont replace income (about 80K) she will take away c/card and tuition payments are in doubt. Things really came down to the wire.

Anyway, have sorted things out but its an ongoing source of stress,

I think people who are not married, or not in Japan amy not understand so well. My mother had financial problems because of my father so i think money problems in many families are universal. My guess is for guys who want to control money its also an ego, power thing too over their wives.

get married and have kids and its no longer just your money any more.

PS when bonus comes or i come into money she leaves me alone- she doesnt like being short or when i have big VISA bills though.

[paulh]

last night I met an indian guy whio got truly screwed by his wife , he got 10,000 like you and then raided his account took all the cash and tried to spring the "sign this love " its for your passport ,or really divorce papers.He managed not to sign but she still kicked him out in december when he had nowhere to go and no cash

be careful out there !!!!

My wife kicks me out I would take her car away, change bank accounts and see how long she lasts raising two kids by herself in japan. I can still earn income in this country. Not to mention she can kiss goodbye to living in Oz as she can only work their on a NZ resident spouse visa.

MIL has mortgage free house but they are not wealthy.

[steeny]

My salary is mine. I pay all the bills and give the wife an allowance. She asked for 10000 but I give her 30,000.

Every couple of months she brings this setup up. She wants to control the money. I don't hold onto it "for my ego," but perhaps for the empowerment. Not power over her, which has whittled away anyway, but self-empowerment, not having to ask or worry about useless crap I want to buy. She's gotten more forceful of late, the degree of which is in direct relation to the value of my Livedoor stock. Trust in me has also whittled away.

She is much better at saving money than I am. Was thinking of splitting my salary with her. Anyone do it like that?

[paulh]

My salary is mine. I pay all the bills and give the wife an allowance. She asked for 10000 but I give her 30,000.

Every couple of months she brings this setup up. She wants to control the money. I don't hold onto it "for my ego," but perhaps for the empowerment. Not power over her, which has whittled away anyway, but self-empowerment, not having to ask or worry about useless crap I want to buy. She's gotten more forceful of late, the degree of which is in direct relation to the value of my Livedoor stock. Trust in me has also whittled away.

She is much better at saving money than I am. Was thinking of splitting my salary with her. Anyone do it like that?

Does wife work?


Wifeys argument is that seeing as there are kids she cant work even if she wants to and de facto can not earn income. She can not have 'her' income so its unfair to say its 'my' money even if she cant work.


Wife also deals with all the home stuff that i dont have to do. Marriage is like a partnership or a division of labor. There are many things she has to do which she doesnt get paid for, but she gets a roof over her head, fed and clothed.

If I spend too much money it means she cuts corners somewhere else. Cutting one newspaper, cutting kids piano lessons etc.

If wife is working its a different story as there are two incomes coming in.

[Jonobugs]

It seems like there will always be some sort of mistrust and a general feeling of paranoia when there is a lack of balance in a relationship.

I think that if both partners feel safe and secure in their relationship as well as with their financial lives, then you really wouldn't need to worry about stuff like suddenly being destitute.

Why is there such a concern about having a Japanese wife who turns around leaving someone high and dry? Is this a real concern? Why does the sex stop? Why do attitudes suddenly change? Is it really that way? What about the other side of the story?

Do gaijin men take their partners for granted? Do they demand unreasonable things? There must be a reason for these sudden shifts in temperment. I can't believe that Japanese women project a certain image to get a man to marry them, raise a family and then after 30 odd years of marriage turn around and dump their husband once they feel finacially secure.

Who would have the patience or tenacity for that sort of scheme?

There was a mention of how a women will finally realize how worthless their husband is and then leave them. It would be really intresting to get more perspective on this issue from women. Anyone out there fitting the bill?

What do you think of this issue? Do men really have to worry? If the shift of balance was in your favour (women's) would you hesitate to be vindictive if the relationship went sour? That is, conspire to take all the money, possession and leave your ex in a real bind.

As for the men, what sort of measures would you take to prevent this sort of thing from happening without alienating your wife

Jono

[User Name Deleted]

Paulie touched on the trend for Japanese women to divorce their husbands later in life.

Typically hubby has worked hard and the wife has done the stuff at home. Neither have spent much time working on the relationship.

Hubby retires, and has cultivated few hobbies during his working life due to the amount of time spent at work, so mopes around the house all day, without being of any assistance when it comes to housekeeping matters, thereby upsetting his wife's hitherto peaceful existence during the day.

Many Japanese men have hobbies of course, but there are more than a few middle aged men who don't do much other than work, eat, sleep and drink alcohol. Understandably, when retirement rolls around, they don't know what to do with themselves.

[paulh]

Paulie touched on the trend for Japanese women to divorce their husbands later in life.

Typically hubby has worked hard and the wife has done the stuff at home. Neither have spent much time working on the relationship.

Hubby retires, and has cultivated few hobbies during his working life due to the amount of time spent at work, so mopes around the house all day, without being of any assistance when it comes to housekeeping matters, thereby upsetting his wife's hitherto peaceful existence during the day.

Many Japanese men have hobbies of course, but there are more than a few middle aged men who don't do much other than work, eat, sleep and drink alcohol. Understandably, when retirement rolls around, they don't know what to do with themselves.

In Japan its called Jukunen rikon and makes up something like a third of all divorces nowadays, maybe more.

Nowadays the wife has her own friends, social circle, hobbies, overseas shopping trips with friends and then suddenly she is stuck at home with this sixty year old kid who cant fry an egg or iron a shirt.

The men suddenly expect the wife to drop everything and look after him. Take away the mans job title, his comfy office, the company car and hes like a fish out of water with nothing to do all day.

[User Name Deleted]

It is though a theme in a lot of countries. Wife is happy with husband going off to work each day, allowing her to do her own thing.

Many wives in Australia want their 60 or 70 something husbands to keep working, and not necessarily for financial reasons.

[Jonobugs]

It is though a theme in a lot of countries. Wife is happy with husband going off to work each day, allowing her to do her own thing.

Many wives in Australia want their 60 or 70 something husbands to keep working, and not necessarily for financial reasons.

Ahh, so it's not necessarily a "gaijin" thing. I did hear once that the leading cause of death was retirement. Maybe it's in the men's best interest to either keep working or find something else to do.

Jono

[paulh]

Ahh, so it's not necessarily a "gaijin" thing. I did hear once that the leading cause of death was retirement. Maybe it's in the men's best interest to either keep working or find something else to do.

Jono

A lot of men cant actually afford to retire completely from work by the time 60 rolls around anyway.

How many can actually afford to sit around all day playing bowls or playing golf with little or no income and maybe a small pension.

[steeny]

Does wife work?

Not anymore. But wants to return to the labor force. Not so much a money factor but more for a break and to a lesser degree, a contribution to society.

Wifeys argument is that seeing as there are kids she cant work even if she wants to and de facto can not earn income. She can not have 'her' income so its unfair to say its 'my' money even if she cant work. .

She has money already, about the same in savings as myself. Her money is hers to spend as she sees fit. For example, she skipped off to Peru for about a month. Though she did ask permission first... though I would have done the same.

Wife also deals with all the home stuff that i dont have to do. Marriage is like a partnership or a division of labor. There are many things she has to do which she doesnt get paid for, but she gets a roof over her head, fed and clothed. .

Absolutely. That's why I was thinking of giving her half of (my) income. I was wondering whether anyone can see of any potential difficulties with this arrangement.

If I spend too much money it means she cuts corners somewhere else. Cutting one newspaper, cutting kids piano lessons etc.

It's more a matter of earn to spend ratio. PaulH makes ample but spending trends are up, similar to my own situation. Doesn't matter how much you have or make, just how well you can get accustomed to spending less because of unforeseen circumstances. Or a couple of good nights out at the pub.

[steeny]

Back to original, I do wonder and suspect she has "private" savings. Though I suspect that is due to my own spending/investing habits.

[Libertine]

My wife and I discussed this the other day. The rule of thumb is that you should have at least 6 months salary in liquid cash in emergencies. To give you an example if you were to be killed in an accident (or your wife) you would need to spend at least 2 million yen to put on a Buddhist funeral in japan. CASH. They wont hold on until you save up the money or borrow from a sarakin (loan shark)

My family is planning a move to Australia. Not only do you need full airfares, you need a place to live, rent and key money, enough money to live on for 2-3 months without working, money in case of hospitalisation. Need to buy a car.

I have children so I have school fees and university fees to think of (dont count on money magically appearing when they are 20, many middle class parents in the US can now not afford a college education for their kids). In Japan a degree for your kids will cost 5 or 6 million yen.

Children and education are obviously the biggest expenses. In Japan count on spending about $150,000 per child from the time they are born until they graduate from university in 24 years time.


Something Libertine doesnt know much about (yet).


Then you have to save up money for retirement. You might live another 20 years after you retire at 60. The only money you get is what you invest over your working life. IF you want to earn every year what you get now after you are 60 you will need something like over a million dollars invested to net your income in interest.

Give it up princess I aint interested in your oversized nuttsack.

[steeny]

Back to tangent.

The wife slaves at home, harder than I do at work.

I thought it a decent compromise to hand over half the net. She does earn it.

But then again, I don't really like her.

[Libertine]

My wife kicks me out I would take her car away, change bank accounts and see how long she lasts raising two kids by herself in japan. I can still earn income in this country. Not to mention she can kiss goodbye to living in Oz as she can only work their on a NZ resident spouse visa.

MIL has mortgage free house but they are not wealthy.

Don't be a stooge princess, she's got a shiet load of a nest egg tucked away that she has bled from you all these years. Plenty of aussie guys who will get her iron levels back up too.

[Libertine]

It went down to 10,000 yen a month last month. I have no classes and dont go out so much so theres nothing to spend it on except DVDs.

Got around that by raiding the cookie jar and privates.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[paulh]

Back to tangent.

The wife slaves at home, harder than I do at work.

I thought it a decent compromise to hand over half the net. She does earn it.

But then again, I don't really like her.

So you work, you pay her. You stay broke.

You have to pay the bills anyway. How much do you have left to give her after the bills are paid?

My wife slaves too but doesnt even have a paying job.

Maybe we should start a club.

[steeny]

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That's crap Libertine.

Sorry I have to jump in on Paul's defense here.

Just because he posts so much and gives a lot of misleading advice doesn't mean you can attack him like that. He doesn't know about many things and just speculates so it's not his fault when people listen to him, he does after all have a high post count and a PHD.

Let him alone, his home life sucks. He's smart, but just made the mistake of trusting his wife. She screwed him and gives him 10000 a month. When a man has no backbone to fight back, well, it's crap you'd kick him when he's down.

Okay, he's been dishing out personal attacks of late, but it's due to stress and disappointment with life. His life sucks. Just let it be.

[Libertine]

That's crap Libertine.

Sorry I have to jump in on Paul's defense here.

Just because he posts so much and gives a lot of misleading advice doesn't mean you can attack him like that. He doesn't know about many things and just speculates so it's not his fault when people listen to him, he does after all have a high post count and a PHD.

Let him alone, his home life sucks. He's smart, but just made the mistake of trusting his wife. She screwed him and gives him 10000 a month. When a man has no backbone to fight back, well, it's crap you'd kick him when he's down.

Okay, he's been dishing out personal attacks of late, but it's due to stress and disappointment with life. His life sucks. Just let it be.

HAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

[paulh]

That's crap Libertine.

Sorry I have to jump in on Paul's defense here.

Just because he posts so much and gives a lot of misleading advice doesn't mean you can attack him like that. He doesn't know about many things and just speculates so it's not his fault when people listen to him, he does after all have a high post count and a PHD.

Let him alone, his home life sucks. He's smart, but just made the mistake of trusting his wife. She screwed him and gives him 10000 a month. When a man has no backbone to fight back, well, it's crap you'd kick him when he's down.

Okay, he's been dishing out personal attacks of late, but it's due to stress and disappointment with life. His life sucks. Just let it be.

Thanks for that Steeny

A couple of other points about our friend here

hes a single Aussie, just out of university, probably 23 or 24. Single, no girlfriend, but probably ____s like its going out of fashion. Here just to party and play around. His opinion about anything doesnt matter all that much but gets his jollies by personal insults and below the belt attacks on people who cant defend themselves.



Brags about how much he makes in Australia but hes not doing it now. No guarantee of a job when he goes back either though Im sure he will say as sure as the sun rises he wil make 50K a year. he could be dead next year. I know two people who posted on this forum who died this year. One was 38 and I know several people who have died in japan. One died of a drug overdose in asia, i worked with him at NOVA.


Has no commitments. Sure Ive made mistakes but I know in japan there are probably literally hundreds of people in the same boat as me but they dont reveal all on bulletin boards. Ive held down the same jobs for the last 15 years.

he has no actual idea of the actual cost of living here as a resident with a family. working PT on a WHV but people can live here on 180,000 a month. I make that in about 10 days.


I dont take much notice of him as

1. I earn far more than he does
2. home life sucks but I eat and drink well and all my basic needs are taken care of.
3. Im a hell of a lot smarter than he is.

[Libertine]

Thanks for that Steeny.

Read his post again princess. JEESUZ!!! HAHAHAHA

A couple of other points about our friend here

hes a single Aussie, just out of university, probably 23 or 24. Single, no girlfriend, but probably ____s like its going out of fashion. Here just to party and play around. His opinion about anything doesnt matter all that much but gets his jollies by personal insults and below the belt attacks on people who cant defend themselves..

probably, probably, probably blah blah blah... More conjured information from the Copy and Paste Clown.

Brags about how much he makes in Australia but hes not doing it now. No guarantee of a job when he goes back either though Im sure he will say as sure as the sun rises he wil make 50K a year. he could be dead next year. I know two people who posted on this forum who died this year. One was 38 and I know several people who have died in japan. One died of a drug overdose in asia, i worked with him at NOVA. .

You think prawn milkers and whale riders grow on tress? Wishing me dead in Japan princess!?... I like that! It's a nice original touch

Has no commitments. Sure Ive made mistakes but I know in japan there are probably literally hundreds of people in the same boat as me but they dont reveal all on bulletin boards. Ive held down the same jobs for the last 15 years..

But has your 'pocket money' gone up? Or is the ball and chains escape from Ironless laif nest egg gotten fatter year by year?

he has no actual idea of the actual cost of living here as a resident with a family. working PT on a WHV but people can live here on 180,000 a month. I make that in about 10 days..

I have 0 interest in residency or family here therefore null and void.

I dont take much notice of him as

1. I earn far more than he does
2. home life sucks but I eat and drink well and all my basic needs are taken care of.
3. Im a hell of a lot smarter than he is.

You must have the waxiest Dolphin in Japan lady.

[paulh]

Only another year and we are rid of this guy.

[Thunder]

I have to admit that I wonder where this thing about the wife having a stranglehold over the finances and giving the husband an "allowance" comes from. It isn't a Western thing and it definitely isn't an Asian thing. It seems rather peculiar to Japan. I wonder how the practise started in the first place...

[in.between]

this thread is really interesting........

thanks to all for the lively debate.

happy happy joy joy.