How do I meet Japanese guys?

[satsumagirl2005]

Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.

[theotherguy]

Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.

Hey,

Not much advice on where, but from what I know of most decent Japanese guys, they are interested in almost anything but sex.

When my ex (from Canada) and I moved to Japan, she was very jealous of all the Jpn girls. Funny thing was, she started dating one of her students on the sly, while I was being Captain Faithful. I met him a few times, and he seemed like a nice guy. Older, dorky, and a bit awkward, but nice. I suppose he had to be, as he already knew who I was.

So, anyways, after the truth came out, she moved in with him, and within three months was back at my door, drunk, stoned and horny as a toad, complaining that except for the sex, he was The One (i.e. enough money, patience, and desperation to put up with the whiney, lyeing b#"$ch), so we started a weekly thing, then a twice weekly thing, then an almost daily thing, and one day he followed her back to my place, and when she got home, confronted her with it. It turns out they had got engaged, he had bought a house, a big fat ring, the whole damn thing.

He was crushed by her duplicity: kicked her out, sold the house for a song, took back the ring and threw it away (so she says), and packed up and left for his hometown almost overnight. Poor _______, the thing he couldn't get over was that the cruel _______ had told him how much bigger I was, and he couldn't get over the idea that he could never saisfy her, so he never tried.

I hope he got over it. I was a bit put off by her treatment of me, but I got mine back: the morning after she got kicked out by her BF, I changed my locks (she had a key), went on a long holiday, and left her out in the cold. Never spoke to her again, though I think I saw her somewhere near the mall last year, back at home. She was fat as a horse.

This had nothing to do with what you asked about, did it?

Sorry.

[AV]

Not much advice on where, but from what I know of most decent Japanese guys, they are interested in almost anything but sex.

It really depends.

Satsumagirl, don't believe what the guys here will tell you, unless you are talking to gays

[Wavey Man]

Hey,

Not much advice on where, but from what I know of most decent Japanese guys, they are interested in almost anything but sex.

When my ex (from Canada) and I moved to Japan, she was very jealous of all the Jpn girls. Funny thing was, she started dating one of her students on the sly, while I was being Captain Faithful. I met him a few times, and he seemed like a nice guy. Older, dorky, and a bit awkward, but nice. I suppose he had to be, as he already knew who I was.

So, anyways, after the truth came out, she moved in with him, and within three months was back at my door, drunk, stoned and horny as a toad, complaining that except for the sex, he was The One (i.e. enough money, patience, and desperation to put up with the whiney, lyeing b#"$ch), so we started a weekly thing, then a twice weekly thing, then an almost daily thing, and one day he followed her back to my place, and when she got home, confronted her with it. It turns out they had got engaged, he had bought a house, a big fat ring, the whole damn thing.

He was crushed by her duplicity: kicked her out, sold the house for a song, took back the ring and threw it away (so she says), and packed up and left for his hometown almost overnight. Poor _______, the thing he couldn't get over was that the cruel _______ had told him how much bigger I was, and he couldn't get over the idea that he could never saisfy her, so he never tried.

I hope he got over it. I was a bit put off by her treatment of me, but I got mine back: the morning after she got kicked out by her BF, I changed my locks (she had a key), went on a long holiday, and left her out in the cold. Never spoke to her again, though I think I saw her somewhere near the mall last year, back at home. She was fat as a horse.

This had nothing to do with what you asked about, did it?

Sorry.

That was good read, thanks. So she's not hooking anymore then?

With Japanese guys I guess that I am always feeling crushed by the assumption, rightfully or wrongfully, that Japanese guys only want to date Japanese girls. I wonder if there is a way to know if a Japanese guy is single and interested in western women or not.

Perhaps you've never opened a Vancouver phone book to the Escort Services section?

Try it. You'll notice almost every advert has Japanese text in it.

[AV]

Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys?

Just as you meet any other guys really... I remember meeting one really nice guy on the metro, he just talked up to me while I was reading a book.

What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

either improve our japanese or find somebody who speaks good english there is really no third way.

Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

just watch him and you'll know. also, better start as 'friends'. There is no notion of that here anyway, but if it's proper dating at first you'll feel as if you are just friends.

[m2pi]

Connection. Word of mouth. Via Internet:
http://www.being-a-broad.com/
http://www.mynippon.com/
http://www.thepinkcow.com/
etc., etc., ...

Don't worry - they'll come & hit on you till you drop dead ;-)

In fact I'm half Japanese ... interested? :-D

Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.

[April]

I met my J-guy at a guest-house.

Even though I didn't speak Japanese and he didn't speak much English at all, it wasn't a problem. Initially we both intended out relationship to be a fling, but it's been two years so far!!!

I made the move on him...well basically I gave him incredibly strong come-on signals and took up the offer.

Piece of advice though - a little flirting in front of other people is fine, but keep the obvious come-ons to a time when the both of you are alone together. Even if it is a fleeting couple of seconds, just time for you to flutter your eyelashes or whatever it is you do. This is just to save any embarrassment. If he is interested he will also somehow arrange to be in the kitchen or passing in the hall same time as you, hee hee! Oh those games were fun!! Sorry...just reminiscing...

Just about all my western female friends have japanese boyfriends and this is how they met:

- at her friend's party
- was introduced to her guy through one of her Japanese friends
- they both frequented the same type of live shows and noticed each other
- at a nightclub
- he was one of her students
- a dating party (gokon I think it's called??) arranged by one of her female Japanese friends

My advice is to make as many friends as possible with Japanese people and get the word out that you like J-guys and are looking for a bofriend (most people assume that western women are not intersted in Japanese guys). People here love to arrange hook-ups and I know they'll jump at the chance to have bragging rights about arranging a foreign woman with a Japanese guy!

[satsumagirl2005]

April:
Thank you for all of your great advice. Especially where/how you & your friends have met Japanese guys and how to flirt appropriately.

And thank you everyone for writing here.
_____________________________
I don't mind improving my Japanese. It is just that learning a language takes time. But I'll put in the effort.

Maybe I will try chatting up a few Japanese guys in English at first and see how things go from there. The problem is I am the shy type. But I have to try to overcome that not matter what country I am living in.

I don't mind starting things out as "friends". People have got to get along well to make a relationship work it is true. However I don't want to get stuck into the "friends trap" either.

With Japanese guys I guess that I am always feeling crushed by the assumption, rightfully or wrongfully, that Japanese guys only want to date Japanese girls. I wonder if there is a way to know if a Japanese guy is single and interested in western women or not.

Wow so I guess Japanese guys are assuming that gaijin women aren't interested in them. What is with all this assuming?
____________________________________
To theotherguy:
Well your experience was interesting anyways.

To m2pi:
Yes I have the book "Being A Broad in Japan"...just got to find it again. Not sure about the other links?? What are you driving at my friend?

[AV]

I made the move on him...well basically I gave him incredibly strong come-on signals and took up the offer.

In my case, I didn't even realize we were dating before he started getting physical. Btw, watch for him to ask you if you have a boyfriend.

Just about all my western female friends have japanese boyfriends and this is how they met:

- at her friend's party
- was introduced to her guy through one of her Japanese friends
- they both frequented the same type of live shows and noticed each other
- at a nightclub
- he was one of her students
- a dating party (gokon I think it's called??) arranged by one of her female Japanese friends

a friend of mine is happily married (5 yrs now) after meeting her beau through a european dating website.

most people assume that western women are not intersted in Japanese guys

That is so true... Even if you don't want a whole bunch of people involved in arranging hook-ups for you, it's enough to somehow casually mention to him 'the special one' that you are intrigued by Japanese guys.

[scipio]

a friend of mine is happily married (5 yrs now) after meeting her beau through a european dating website.
.

Wow, are those postal bride sites still operating?
I thought the Russian government had closed them down.

[satsumagirl2005]

Wow, are those postal bride sites still operating?
I thought the Russian government had closed them down.

I don't know about bride sites, but I think a lot of people are meeting their significant others on the internet these days.

[edinjapan]

Wow, are those postal bride sites still operating?
I thought the Russian government had closed them down.

No! They haven't. And if they did they would just reappear as something else advertising the same services.

[satsumagirl2005]

Cool. I will try telling a nice Japanese guy that I find Japanese guys "interesting" or something to that effect.

To: Kyle Cartwright

What you said is pretty funny! But guys getting manicures? I am not sure I can believe that until I see it with my own eyes.

Maybe I could relate to Japanese guys. I am pretty hard to get to know as well. Must be the shy thing.

[royo]

that just so strange ! i wonder why japanese guys assumed that western women prefer western men ^^ like everywhere and in every countries, there'r really handsome,sexy and interesting specimens among japanese men!
but caus' they're shy that's sometimes hard to know what they're thinking!=(
don't worry satsumagirl ! you'll find the best

[Sparda]

Connection. Word of mouth. Via Internet:
http://www.being-a-broad.com/
http://www.mynippon.com/
http://www.thepinkcow.com/
etc., etc., ...

Don't worry - they'll come & hit on you till you drop dead ;-)

In fact I'm half Japanese ... interested? :-D

Hello XD do u happen to know fluent japanese? In this case u speak english but if ud like to help me out just a little with the language id thank u very very much D:!

[edinjapan]

Do any gaijin women have advice for me about how to meet Japanese guys? What if I don't speak Japanese beyond a few phrases such as "Watashi wa biru ga ski des"?

Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

To provide more of a context here, I'll mention that I am moving back to Japan this summer, but I don't know which city I'll be placed in yet.

Ask Person. She is the fount of almost all wisdom in this area.

[happyhannah]

This is the first time I have ever posted here ---But you ask a question that I asked a lot in my time in Japan-
of course it's very hard to generalize an entire culture but here we go---

Go to gaijin bars---I met such a hottie there who I thought didn't notice me much but called me afterwards--it sucked that I had a boyfriend from Canada at the time. So-find some way to switch numbers with him--hey you like (insert interest)
so do I! let's do that together sometime!

Play the "can you show me around" card---this worked for me--again I had the boyfriend but he was very neglectful at the time so.....

finally coming to the way I met my perfect wonderful current boyfriend---
We live together here in Canada-we met here after I got back...
I met him at a party and hit on him but was totally shut down but according to him he was just shy-
he told our mutual friends that he really liked me but he was afraid that white girls think j-guys are simply not well enough endowed! That is a huge issue. really. and not true in my humble experience!
I knew this info the next time we met and gave him my email-
and he never emailed me! but he said his j-guy friends say that white girls are just friendly and are not interested in j-guys.
So-I called him.
He was so excited and it's been two years of us together now. He is so amazing and sweet and hot and sexy. The perfect guy--sometimes cultural issues are a problem but mostly not--just guy/girl stuff (j-guys are from Mars too


So to sum it all up----be bold young lady! don't be afraid to be a little bit more agressive than normal and good luck!

[April]

Satsumagirl - have you moved to Japan yet?

Keep us updated on your j-guy interactions okay?

[April]

I just remembered...one of my femail co-workers, who has a j-guy, is very VERY shy. He did all of the chasing and wooing.

Just wanted to let you know that in case you are also very shy and was worried about trying to get a personality transplant in order to snag a j-guy. Well you don't. There's a j-guy out there to suit all of us!

But in general though, I agree with Happyhannah about being bold.

[April]

And another thing - if you come to the Tokyo area, my boyfriend is trying to hook-up a couple of his friends with western women so maybe I could arrange something. ha ha!

[kiddsarah]

So to sum it all up----be bold young lady! don't be afraid to be a little bit more agressive than normal and good luck![/QUOTE]


YESSSSS be aggressive! okay not too much but it won't take that much.. be aggressive, a little sweet and of course be yourself!
it works!!

ohhh and i love your love story! soooo cute!
2 years!--good for you!!

[lucyfur]

It's true, Japanese guys are really shy and sometimes almost passive. It's kind of ironic that Japan is said to be this "male dominant" society. The Japanese guys who I have dated usually waited for me to make all of the decisions in the relationship. Did that happen to anyone else? I can't really see myself getting married to a western guy. I'm Native American. I feel more confident with approaching Japanese guys. I think knowing about the culture and making an effort to speak/write Japanese are the best ways to impress a guy that you like. I doubt things will last if you expect him to only speak your language.

[takai_]

Also, how do I meet decent Japanese guys who are interested in more than just sex?

if you are not too fat and ugly, as most gaijin women in Japan, you just need to take a shower and head to Roppongi, where you can easliy hook up with some J-guy..of course, most of them will be losers, misfits and/or eigo bandits...a good-looking, well-educated, sexy, masculine J-guy will only hit J-birds for obvious reasons, although you would need to stay at least 3 years in Japan and speak Japanese to differentiate a J-guy loser from a winner. Same happens with J-girls who cannot differentiate between a gaijin winner and a fat, ugly, NOVA teacher. So every time you are shagging a J-guy, ask yourself before he wants to drop his juice on your face (standard Japanese ritual): "am I shagging the Japanese equivalent of a fat, ugly, smelly NOVA teacher nerd?"?

Good luck!!!

Captain,

Takai

[April]

Thanks Takai, that made me laugh!

One question. Do the foreign girls in Japan have to do ALL the chasing? I want to play it coy, but I think that will mean I'll be single for a very long time ....

No you won't have to. Like I mentioned in a post just a few above, there's a j-guy out there for all us girls.

[Time22]

Hi, Satsumagirl..

Actually I did met a lot of nice Japanese guys--most of them back in my country. Of course I met some bad guys also but I'm sure you can tell the bad from the nice guys.

Most of the nice guys are shy as April mentioned before. The problem is most of Japanese guys got problem in expressing their thought and feeling, and left it to you to figure it out by yourself. Sometimes, if you hit to much wrong answers, poof! they're gone

By the way, here's some sharing.

I met my first Japanese guy back in my country. We first met at my office as I was assigned to manage his art exhibition --he's an artist--so it's a formal encounter having a meeting w my boss.

2nd time we met, we went for coffee and dinner and he offered to cook some japanese food for me.

3rd time we met, he cooked okonomiyaki for me and asked me to be his gf. I was shocked but I said yes --not much commitment, no promises, we just wanted to give it a try.

2 months later on my birthday, he told me that he, for sure is going to marry me one day. I was surprised as I know Japanese men don't make promises easily, decent guys only say what they really mean and fight to keep the promise.

2 years later, we got married.

of course, it's not as simple as the way I told you above. Lots of ups and downs, the cultural background difference did caused lots of serious problems. He spoke my language --but not so fluently, I was totally blank about his language. The language itself already caused a lot of misunderstanding case. And lots of his friends also told me that he's not considered as a Japanese in term of he's a very straight forward person. When we met, he was also work as a social worker volunteer under contract to one of japanese government institution. This might the first thing that attracted me back then.

How to find a decent Japanese guys then ?
I guess you could ask your japanese friends to introduce you.
I don't really into internet things in finding a guys especially decent guys. Be carefull you might instead bump into some psycho stalkers (there're some threads bout this). Just try to make as many friends as you can. The right one might just appear in front of you without any effort at the right time at the right place, of course if only you believe in fate.

Good luck, friend

[okkii69]

Hi, Satsumagirl..

Actually I did met a lot of nice Japanese guys--most of them back in my country. Of course I met some bad guys also but I'm sure you can tell the bad from the nice guys.

Most of the nice guys are shy as April mentioned before. The problem is most of Japanese guys got problem in expressing their thought and feeling, and left it to you to figure it out by yourself. Sometimes, if you hit to much wrong answers, poof! they're gone

By the way, here's some sharing.

I met my first Japanese guy back in my country. We first met at my office as I was assigned to manage his art exhibition --he's an artist--so it's a formal encounter having a meeting w my boss.

2nd time we met, we went for coffee and dinner and he offered to cook some japanese food for me.

3rd time we met, he cooked okonomiyaki for me and asked me to be his gf. I was shocked but I said yes --not much commitment, no promises, we just wanted to give it a try.

2 months later on my birthday, he told me that he, for sure is going to marry me one day. I was surprised as I know Japanese men don't make promises easily, decent guys only say what they really mean and fight to keep the promise.

2 years later, we got married.

of course, it's not as simple as the way I told you above. Lots of ups and downs, the cultural background difference did caused lots of serious problems. He spoke my language --but not so fluently, I was totally blank about his language. The language itself already caused a lot of misunderstanding case. And lots of his friends also told me that he's not considered as a Japanese in term of he's a very straight forward person. When we met, he was also work as a social worker volunteer under contract to one of japanese government institution. This might the first thing that attracted me back then.

How to find a decent Japanese guys then ?
I guess you could ask your japanese friends to introduce you.
I don't really into internet things in finding a guys especially decent guys. Be carefull you might instead bump into some psycho stalkers (there're some threads bout this). Just try to make as many friends as you can. The right one might just appear in front of you without any effort at the right time at the right place, of course if only you believe in fate.

Good luck, friend

How about me making Japanese guys my girlfriends, but I won't have no sexual contact with them.

[satsuma]

How about me making Japanese guys my girlfriends, but I won't have no sexual contact with them.

Yeah, good idea. How many guys have you been with to date? Weren't you saying something on another thread about liking J-guys because of their soft hairless bodies?

[Time22]

How about me making Japanese guys my girlfriends, but I won't have no sexual contact with them.

interesting idea! don't forget to share your experience on the pot...or is it on already ?!!

[Sparda]

Hi, Satsumagirl..

Actually I did met a lot of nice Japanese guys--most of them back in my country. Of course I met some bad guys also but I'm sure you can tell the bad from the nice guys.

Most of the nice guys are shy as April mentioned before. The problem is most of Japanese guys got problem in expressing their thought and feeling, and left it to you to figure it out by yourself. Sometimes, if you hit to much wrong answers, poof! they're gone

By the way, here's some sharing.

I met my first Japanese guy back in my country. We first met at my office as I was assigned to manage his art exhibition --he's an artist--so it's a formal encounter having a meeting w my boss.

2nd time we met, we went for coffee and dinner and he offered to cook some japanese food for me.

3rd time we met, he cooked okonomiyaki for me and asked me to be his gf. I was shocked but I said yes --not much commitment, no promises, we just wanted to give it a try.

2 months later on my birthday, he told me that he, for sure is going to marry me one day. I was surprised as I know Japanese men don't make promises easily, decent guys only say what they really mean and fight to keep the promise.

2 years later, we got married.

of course, it's not as simple as the way I told you above. Lots of ups and downs, the cultural background difference did caused lots of serious problems. He spoke my language --but not so fluently, I was totally blank about his language. The language itself already caused a lot of misunderstanding case. And lots of his friends also told me that he's not considered as a Japanese in term of he's a very straight forward person. When we met, he was also work as a social worker volunteer under contract to one of japanese government institution. This might the first thing that attracted me back then.

How to find a decent Japanese guys then ?
I guess you could ask your japanese friends to introduce you.
I don't really into internet things in finding a guys especially decent guys. Be carefull you might instead bump into some psycho stalkers (there're some threads bout this). Just try to make as many friends as you can. The right one might just appear in front of you without any effort at the right time at the right place, of course if only you believe in fate.

Good luck, friend

Aw omg pretty story, i wish i was as lucky as that but things keep turning out bad, i dont make promises aswell, when i do i usually never break them, ive tryed hard with a scottish guy but now its kindof over, were friends tough. Now im looking for japanese guys but i live in Brazil and here we barely have them...So its being hella difficult for me to find any, any tips Dx... I tryed the website meet-asian.com but it asks for VIP always... ive found some real handsome thin japanese guys there though. They smile at me back, one of them messaged me (he seem to be very cult since he does tons of important things and i can tell by his pics anyway), but i cant reply anyof them or even send email to them and my budget is as low as just-good-for-food right now so i cant afford to risk for a VIP for 1 month (would cost around 30 dollars). What can i do then!?!?

Omg help D:

Btw im trying to learn their language because i just love it, so i know a few but its still very few Dx!

I dont mind dating crazy guys as long as theyre not real trouble, as in, that dress like cosplay and stuff (i find that totally hot anyway LOL) example: The Gazette band (link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chh9uUSbTNA).

So any tips >_< ... ill be turning to 25 but ppl swear im not over 18 by my looks and i prefer a guy my age or younger but in that case he prob wont want any serious thing, but i prefer the younger ones cause theyre much more fun and more up to travels and different things!

Help DX!

[Kagari]

well right now i am using doki doki to talk to j-guys, its an experience [what colour is your pantiy today......]

seriously i suspect the decent guys are near extinction.....

[happyhannah]

Takai-your funny post actually brought to mind a few valid points-it's true that we wouldn't be able to tell that the guy is the equivelant of the beast-like gaijin lurchers that I sometimes saw hot j-girls with...but that's the fun-live and learn!! happened to me-
Twice in Japan I had guys become obsessed after one date-one guy even pulled the "samuri spirit" card and told me he would die for me...
that was crazy. There was another scene involving sreaming at my balcony in a rain storm-sounds romantic? no no no it was creeeeeepy! But that ____ happens everywhere and especially in a country where you stand out as visually as you will in Japan-it makes me laugh now.
My current bf is a vintage clothing dealer and is so fashionable and masculine but he actually isn't too popular with girls in Japan. My j-girl friends say he looks like tadanobu Asano which makes him cool but not hot--meanwhile to me he's freakin gorgeous. So that can work to your advantage because as long as YOU think he's hot and he's nice and the chemistry is there who cares if he's a version of a nerdy NOVA...
Takai also mentioned that we should pay attention to style a bit-that's true-it's important in Japan to be stylish and neat-I mean you can express your own style but please brush your hair and wear a little make-up-and no bulky sneakers with ill-fitting jeans-I know it's old fashioned but-there it is.
Lastly I totally agree with April-I mean there are 130 million people in Japan- you can find a guy to suit you!
Oh yeah-and study Japanese! You will need at least some!
ganbatte!

[happyhannah]

Takai-your funny post actually brought to mind a few valid points-it's true that we wouldn't be able to tell that the guy is the equivelant of the beast-like gaijin lurchers that I sometimes saw hot j-girls with...but that's the fun-live and learn!! happened to me-
Twice in Japan I had guys become obsessed after one date-one guy even pulled the "samuri spirit" card and told me he would die for me...
that was crazy. There was another scene involving sreaming at my balcony in a rain storm-sounds romantic? no no no it was creeeeeepy! But that ____ happens everywhere and especially in a country where you stand out as visually as you will in Japan-it makes me laugh now.
My current bf is a vintage clothing dealer and is so fashionable and masculine but he actually isn't too popular with girls in Japan. My j-girl friends say he looks like tadanobu Asano which makes him cool but not hot--meanwhile to me he's freakin gorgeous. So that can work to your advantage because as long as YOU think he's hot and he's nice and the chemistry is there who cares if he's a version of a nerdy NOVA...
Takai also mentioned that we should pay attention to style a bit-that's true-it's important in Japan to be stylish and neat-I mean you can express your own style but please brush your hair and wear a little make-up-and no bulky sneakers with ill-fitting jeans-I know it's old fashioned but-there it is.
Lastly I totally agree with April-I mean there are 130 million people in Japan- you can find a guy to suit you!
Oh yeah-and study Japanese! You will need at least some!
ganbatte!

[satsumagirl2005]

I'm in trouble. I went to my Japanese lesson yesterday. My teacher was an adorable Japanese guy. The school has a very informal atmosphere, one on one instruction. I was doing my best to seem whitty and friendly to this guy. And I was succeeding -- but in English only. He was really beginning to lose his patience with me when I just didn't understand his Japanese. He repeated nearly every sentence twice even 3 times. Oh my God!! My Japanese is all but forgotten. It frustrates me because I used to totally know this stuff.

Yes I am unfortunately quite shy when it comes to meeting guys. And there is really no reason for that. Takai,I can't sit here and say my shyness is due to unattractiveness, cause that's not it. And I think I do recognize an attractive man from any culture of the world. There is a reason why we say in Vancouver that if you come to Vancouver you can see the faces of the world. You can. It's quite a mix here, and thank God for that.

Sometimes I can achieve miraculous triumphs over my shyness. And I hope I can do so again and again. Lucky for me, I am a very ambitious person too, and I can recognize that I can't realize my goals if I stay hiding under a rock.

There has been some excellent advice given here.

I found it especially interesting to read from HappyHannah that sometimes Japanese guys seem to be rejecting you when really they are just shy themselves. BTW, what do you mean that your Japanese boyfriend is "tadanobu Asano but cool"?

Time22, are you still married to the Japanese guy?

I'm not too enthusiastic about dating websites. I would be incredibly wary of them to the point that I'd just fear anyone I met from such a site.

During my last stint in Japan, I recall that most of the other gaijin English teachers, male & female had had at least one incident with a "stalker". One of my roommates revealed she had been followed home 4 times!! By different men!

Wow the samuri spirit card...that's funny...I think guys from every culture will try to come up with some bullcrap just to peak women's interest. I dated a Phillipino guy once who said "if you leave me, I'll commit suicide". This was when I was in the process of dumping him. I called his bullsh!t and that was that.

April Thanks for all of the info. I will likely be 300 km north of Tokyo in Sendai but it's not confirmed yet. Setting up people through friends is supposed to be the Japanese way isn't it?

I've got to do my Japanese homework! Bye for now.

[scipio]

I'm in trouble. I went to my Japanese lesson yesterday. My teacher was an adorable Japanese guy. The school has a very informal atmosphere, one on one instruction. I was doing my best to seem whitty and friendly to this guy. And I was succeeding -- but in English only. He was really beginning to lose his patience with me when I just didn't understand his Japanese. He repeated nearly every sentence twice even 3 times. Oh my God!! .

Well I think you can exclude him from your list of donators for a mecy shag.
Keep hunting, you'll succeed and all that frustration with melt away with the first orgasmic groans.

[cutyourhair]

During my last stint in Japan, I recall that most of the other gaijin English teachers, male & female had had at least one incident with a "stalker". One of my roommates revealed she had been followed home 4 times!! By different men!

Yes, these incidents are apparently very common. Anymore stories?

[Time22]

Time22, are you still married to the Japanese guy?

Yes, fortunately I still am

[himalayas2]

i'm 43 and haven't been to japan in a while but i had absoultely no problem finding guy. I'm short and plump, although not spotty. my friend was tall, skinny and actually quite dyky looking and never could find a guy back home, but she's blond and the guys just threw themselves at us. We were i high school. i had a long term bf but my host father didn't like him. he drove a truck and my host father was a dentist so the wrong side of the tracks type of deal. there aren't as many gaijin in sapporo so you might stand an even better chance with guys there. talk to the shy ones. BTW, I returned to japan later and tried to hook up with the former bf, but he'd joined a gang. still wanted to shag, but not have a relationship. i married an another asian. wish it was a jguy. i'm miserable, and i can speak japanese. Sorry to ven. good luck

[satsumagirl2005]

Well last Sunday I went on a date with a nice looking Japanese guy who is only one year older than me. I really liked him. But I must admit that the first time we met, a week prior, that there was more of a spark than there had been on that date. He`d written me text messages all week, leading up to the date. The date lasted about 4 hours, driving in a car and having dinner. Somehow I think it didn`t go that well - I was really nervous and prone to babbling, also I dissed Nova and turns out he is a student with Nova.

But I don`t know how to read Japanese guys. Is he just shy? Or did he decide that he doesn`t like me? I totally don`t know.

I haven`t gotten a phone call or a text message from him since Sunday. Nothing. Something seems amiss to me. He said he wanted to teach me to play guitar but he hasn`t contacted me about making new plans.

Well we live in the same city and we go to the same bars. If I see him, I will play it cool and see if he is interested in talking to me. If not, well I guess the message is clear.

Any comments?

[THEDON]

Disappearing act...

Maybe doing the "losing face" thing...sometimes these natives disappear after 6months or longer...

[in.between]

Well last Sunday I went on a date with a nice looking Japanese guy who is only one year older than me. I really liked him. But I must admit that the first time we met, a week prior, that there was more of a spark than there had been on that date. He`d written me text messages all week, leading up to the date. The date lasted about 4 hours, driving in a car and having dinner. Somehow I think it didn`t go that well - I was really nervous and prone to babbling, also I dissed Nova and turns out he is a student with Nova.

But I don`t know how to read Japanese guys. Is he just shy? Or did he decide that he doesn`t like me? I totally don`t know.

I haven`t gotten a phone call or a text message from him since Sunday. Nothing. Something seems amiss to me. He said he wanted to teach me to play guitar but he hasn`t contacted me about making new plans.

Well we live in the same city and we go to the same bars. If I see him, I will play it cool and see if he is interested in talking to me. If not, well I guess the message is clear.

Any comments?

yeah you gotta be careful dissing nova. that happens a lot.