Zinedine Zidane Sought By Authorities

[Tomoko the tapeworm.]

Zinedine Zidane Sought By Authorities

10:25am Tuesday, July 11

TORONTO -- France captain Zinedine Zidane, sent off for headbutting Marco Materazzi late in Sunday's World Cup final loss to Italy is sought for questioniong over an incident during a Toronto Blue Jays baseball game.

Zidane, peculiarly still wearing his playing strip, was seated along the 1st base line calmly perusing the match programme when he "appeared to become enraged" according to his companion.

"He started muttering some of the Italian-American players names. Then I turned around and he was up and gone."

[Spoon]

[Spoon]

[Spoon]

[Tomoko the tapeworm.]

Zinedine Zidane Wanted For Questioning In Relation To The "Nutting" Of Lady Hamilton-Smythe.

3:29am Tuesday, July 11

NORTHUMBERLAND -- France captain Zinedine Zidane, sent off for something-or-other late in Sunday's World Cup final loss to Italy is sought for questioning over an incident during a local croquet match.

Zidane, peculiarly still wearing his playing strip, was swinging from tree to tree in central Northumberland when, according to Hamilton-Smythe he stopped, descended, shimmied across, and nutted her.

Hamilton-Smythe went on to say "Lady Forbes Poof-Shiteburger missed her shot completely. Most distressed she was. I've never seen her wreak such venomous retribution on Sir Nigel Bumthorpe's crotch with her mallet ever before. She was ever so cross with the ruckus."

[Morning Star]

I've never seen her wreak such venomous retribution on Sir Nigel Bumthorpe's crotch with her mallet ever before. She was ever so cross with the ruckus."

I for one, certainly would not be averse to seeing the aftermath and Sir Nigel Bumthorpe's crotch getting in touch with the business end of Lady Forbes Poof-Shiteburger's mallet.

[Time22]

Bwahahahahaahahahah

thanks guys...
i missed it in the match before...only caught up the penalty kick part...

glad can find a lot of version here..

[User Name Deleted]

Great work by the Italian player. The proof is in the pudding, Italy won.

[Shonai Ben]

The lady Hamilton-Smythe apparently is a cripple.....notice the lack of legs and feet.
Wonder what else she is missing.....

[Tomoko the tapeworm.]

The lady Hamilton-Smythe apparently is a cripple.....notice the lack of legs and feet.

Severely starched hems de rigeuer in Northumberland croquet circles?
Frugality with the stuff would fair scream "lolly-gagging harridan"?
As her mother may well have harped "a seemly dollop, don't be a trollop".

Zinedine Zidane Sought For Questioning By SegaCorp

9:11 am Wednesday, July 12

TOKYO -- France captain Zinedine Zidane, sent off for headbutting Lady Hamilton-Smythe late in Sunday's World Cup final loss to the Upper Volta is sought for questioning regarding the compromising of Sega Corp security.

[zeeidiotsare@yahoo.com]

Kyodo (ten minutes ago)

Imposter. Drugged at halftime, the real ZZ was recently found in an Ueno nightclub crumpled up like he had been moved via a piece of Italian luggage. His coming out of the closet in Ueno was not really *the poof is in the pudding--Italy won* sort of thing, but ZZ is now a much happier man. He will, of course, commence teaching French and Italian at NOVAGEOSAEONBERLITZECC next week after finishing training. He would like to thank Italians for letting him escape France and its racist, sexist regime. Now that he has felt the freedom of Japan, he will never return to usurp his imposter's career of T.V. appearances and book deals. A contract is a contract when you get a manager. And ZZ's manager is strictly Cosa Nostra.

[Tomoko the tapeworm.]

Tall Frenchman Spotted Taking Evening Stroll In Downtown Kyodo

July 12, Wednesday 9:39 pm

KYODO --- Eyewitnesses report catching a glimpse of a tall Frenchman taking a pleasant evening stroll through the leafy streets of downtown Kyodo.

In related news, a local building has been admitted to Kyodo General Hospital complaining of chest pains.

[zeeidiotsare@yahoo.com]

Gazetta dello Sport (Italy)

Marco Materazzi admits asking Zidane imposter whether or not the game was a *bomb*. Blaming the difference between English and American usage of this term *bomb* for the Zidane imposter's explosive response, Materazzi shuffled off into his *family* van to be paid for previous match-fixing wondering how he could not have known that the real Zidane would have spoken Italian instead of mechanical English.

In a related (?) event in Japan, a Parco building has been treated for match-fixing anxiety and pain in the sternum. A tall Frenchman's head is casting a long shadow in Kyodo and was last seen bringing great darkness upon North Korean ex-footballer Kim Dong Il.

[Tomoko the tapeworm.]

yeah, credit where it's due, none of the above pics were made by me, all copied from somethingawful and some soccer site "365 poofball.com.poof"


Zinedine Zidane Sent Off For Breach Of FIFA Dress Code.

2:20pm Saturday, July 15

PARIS -- It has been revealed that France captain Zinedine Zidane was sent off during Sunday's World Cup final loss to Italy for violating FIFA's dress code.

Close inspection of match footage (see below) has revealed that Zidane, supposedly a man of Parisian fashion, was in fact wearing Italian headdress during the latter stages of the match.