Japanese Moms

[tora916]

I grew up in a predominately JA neighborhood in Los Angeles and I have always been amazed at what Japanese mom's will sacrifice for their children. I am speaking of (Issei) immigrants and not JA moms. My best friend was a Nisei and this is the story he told me.

In early 1942 his father was arrested by the FBI and incarcerated, without just cause, in San Pedro. Mrs Hirai was left with three young children aged 2, 3 and 5, very little money and severely limited English language skills. But she was bound and determined that her children would not be raised in a "relocation" (read: concentration) camp. She met an elderly couple who told her that if she moved inland she and her children would not be put in any camp. It was only the those in the coastal states who would be sent to the camps. And so began her long march from Los Angeles over a thousand miles to Idaho, alone with three young children. She got a job picking sugar beets in Idaho and took her children to work in the fields with her everyday for the next year until Mr. Hirai was released by the FBI and was able to reach his family. Some effort by a simple country woman in a land far off and completely foreign to her.

My wife's story is almost as stirring. After the war it was difficult to find any work in Japan so my mother-in-law had to take a job as a cook and do the laundry in a cat house near Johnson AFB in Saitama. Everyday she took my wife on her back and her step-daughter by the hand and went to work for 12 hours and even more. They offered her a place to stay at the "place of business" but she refused because she didn't want her girls to have to say they were raised in a cat house. I really loved that woman, even more than my own mother. She was tough yet kind. A devout Buddhist many of the towns-people called her a "living Buddha". No matter how much she didn't have she had something for those who had less.

I'm sure there are great moms like that everywhere but it just seems to be with more frequency in Japan.

[TGreening]

I think you might be on the wrong forum. All the guys on here do is ____ and moan about the evil thing that is the Japanese wife, mother, or mother-in-law.

[tora916]

I think you might be on the wrong forum. All the guys on here do is ____ and moan about the evil thing that is the Japanese wife, mother, or mother-in-law.

I have seen that. I guess I live in a time warp or on another planet. Believe it or not 43 years married to the same woman and never any pis sing and moaning on either side. The only person I don't like is my brother-in-law but then nobody else likes him either.

[Hijinx]

"I'm sure there are great moms like that everywhere..."


Ya think?

[tora916]

"I'm sure there are great moms like that everywhere..."


Ya think?

I am sure there are but this is what I have seen with my own eyes. I lived almost 20 years in Spain and some in Italy I saw some great moms but not like I saw in Japan. But that's just my experience. After retuning to the US we are in trouble here when it comes not just to moms but the family in general. But it's been a long time since I lived in Japan and things change. Maybe it's become the same there as here. In both cases I am talking about societies that were not as affluent as they are today. Maybe that's what makes the difference.

[Hijinx]

I live in Japan and see horrible moms every day.

[tora916]

I live in Japan and see horrible moms every day.

Then like I said times have changed. I have seen some pretty horrible stuff in the Japanese papers the last few years but I am not really trying to write the "Rise and Fall of Moms". Those are just two experiences I've had but the last sentence I think points that out. The word "seems" is operative there.

[Hijinx]

Well, my attitude toward J-moms would increase greatly if they would just put their little brats in car seats and not smoke around them.

[tora916]

I believe that the car seat thing can be accopmlished. But the smoking, I don't have much faith in seeing an end to that. As I said I have not been to Japan in a long time. Have they instituted any kinds of smoking bans at all?

[Hijinx]

I believe that the car seat thing can be accopmlished. But the smoking, I don't have much faith in seeing an end to that. As I said I have not been to Japan in a long time. Have they instituted any kinds of smoking bans at all?

Here and there. Tokyo, Osaka and Nagoya (and other cities) have smoking bans in certain city-center areas. Lots of restaurants now are going smoke free--especially during lunchtime.

[tora916]

The craziesy ban I found was in Spain. My daughter called to tell me as of Jan 1 2005 there would be a ban on smoking in all bars in the major cities. When I got there everyone in the bars was smoking away, When I asked what happened to the smoking ban I was told that it was based on square meters of the bar and design. Turns out your bar whould have to be something like an octagon shaped place with room for less that 10 people. No bars fit that description but the smoking ban was in place and would be enforced. And I thought Tokyo was an open air nut house.

[well_bicyclically]

I live in Japan and see horrible moms every day.

Dim, horny, living vicariously through the lives of their children -- regretting willingly giving up their youth to procreate because that is what their parents and society told them to do! and ever resentful of their husbands for ignoring them and giving them the time and money to do as they please...

[KantoVeteran]

Dim, horny, living vicariously through the lives of their children -- regretting willingly giving up their youth to procreate because that is what their parents and society told them to do! and ever resentful of their husbands for ignoring them and giving them the time and money to do as they please...

yeah, there are lots who fit that description for sure.

[Manuel]

I live in Japan and see horrible moms every day.

I kind of see it myself. I guess they are the ones who got "knocked-up" and just barely, or not quite finish high school.

[Marius_II]

This thread needs pictures. The kinds that almost gets you banned.

[Jon84]

This thread needs pictures. The kinds that almost gets you banned.

Bare with me.

[Hijinx]

Bare with me.

That's actually funny. But I'm not sure if it's just another one of your, shall I be nice, "typos."

[Jon84]

That's actually funny. But I'm not sure if it's just another one of your, shall I be nice, "typos."

Depends on how you choose to answer.

Some people usually use this opportunity to TRY and redicule me and question my ID. Some realize that their English isn't perfect and choose lightly mock me or point me out on it, or assume I am doing it for effect.

There's totally getting obsessed about it, or there is just enjoying it and giving me the benifit of the doubt. Either ones fine, it's the Internet.

[Wonky]

I live in Japan and see horrible moms every day.

At least you don't see trashy slob moms screaming at their kids in the supermarket like you do back home...

[Hijinx]

At least you don't see trashy slob moms screaming at their kids in the supermarket like you do back home...

Sorry, seen that here, too. Usually, the chapatsu, Uniqlo sweat-wearing yan-mama reeking of cigarettes.

[Travlrsong]

I grew up in a predominately JA neighborhood in Los Angeles and I have always been amazed at what Japanese mom's will sacrifice for their children. I am speaking of (Issei) immigrants and not JA moms. My best friend was a Nisei and this is the story he told me.

In early 1942 his father was arrested by the FBI and incarcerated, without just cause, in San Pedro. Mrs Hirai was left with three young children aged 2, 3 and 5, very little money and severely limited English language skills. But she was bound and determined that her children would not be raised in a "relocation" (read: concentration) camp. She met an elderly couple who told her that if she moved inland she and her children would not be put in any camp. It was only the those in the coastal states who would be sent to the camps. And so began her long march from Los Angeles over a thousand miles to Idaho, alone with three young children. She got a job picking sugar beets in Idaho and took her children to work in the fields with her everyday for the next year until Mr. Hirai was released by the FBI and was able to reach his family. Some effort by a simple country woman in a land far off and completely foreign to her.

My wife's story is almost as stirring. After the war it was difficult to find any work in Japan so my mother-in-law had to take a job as a cook and do the laundry in a cat house near Johnson AFB in Saitama. Everyday she took my wife on her back and her step-daughter by the hand and went to work for 12 hours and even more. They offered her a place to stay at the "place of business" but she refused because she didn't want her girls to have to say they were raised in a cat house. I really loved that woman, even more than my own mother. She was tough yet kind. A devout Buddhist many of the towns-people called her a "living Buddha". No matter how much she didn't have she had something for those who had less.

I'm sure there are great moms like that everywhere but it just seems to be with more frequency in Japan.

I think similar stories of dedication, sacrifice, etc. are not unheard of among first generation immigrants to "the land of opportunity." I think it has something to do with there being no American equivalent of "mendoksai." I fkng hate that word and the whole attitude carried with it by J-women in Japan. I think it also has to do with the character filter of leaving your home country with the willingness to do whatever it takes to make it in your new home.

Put a current J-mama in Japan in anywhere near a similar situation and she'd probably btch about how much of a _______ her husband turned out to be, put the kids in preschool, go on the dole, and eat chocolates in front of the TV set all day while texting her friends about how bored she is. Just my 2 yen though.

[phred]

The OP's trip down memory lane about how things used to be was touching. Everything has changed, but they are still a few moms that will continue to be this way.
My wife is a "princess" according to a friend of hers that is 6 years older and from a very rural area of Japan. It seems the less modern the area, the more devoted the mom. (Duh.)
Her friend taught her kids Japanese (her husband does not speak Japanese at all) at home. My wife sends our kids to Japanese school to learn the language.
I am very impressed by the happy, playful way so many moms seem to have with their kids. I do not see this in the States.
I am bothered by the hitting of children and yelling I see in Japan, though.

[vinod]

You can find such stories from southasia to africa when a mother does sacrification to the betterment of her children. And millions of millions of women do that. By nature women is so built to care of their offsprings.
Then why your wife high lights your mother-in-law for a duty of her towards her children ?
Be aware of her evil designs and unknown motives to unnecessarily impress you.

I grew up in a predominately JA neighborhood in Los Angeles and I have always been amazed at what Japanese mom's will sacrifice for their children. I am speaking of (Issei) immigrants and not JA moms. My best friend was a Nisei and this is the story he told me.

In early 1942 his father was arrested by the FBI and incarcerated, without just cause, in San Pedro. Mrs Hirai was left with three young children aged 2, 3 and 5, very little money and severely limited English language skills. But she was bound and determined that her children would not be raised in a "relocation" (read: concentration) camp. She met an elderly couple who told her that if she moved inland she and her children would not be put in any camp. It was only the those in the coastal states who would be sent to the camps. And so began her long march from Los Angeles over a thousand miles to Idaho, alone with three young children. She got a job picking sugar beets in Idaho and took her children to work in the fields with her everyday for the next year until Mr. Hirai was released by the FBI and was able to reach his family. Some effort by a simple country woman in a land far off and completely foreign to her.

My wife's story is almost as stirring. After the war it was difficult to find any work in Japan so my mother-in-law had to take a job as a cook and do the laundry in a cat house near Johnson AFB in Saitama. Everyday she took my wife on her back and her step-daughter by the hand and went to work for 12 hours and even more. They offered her a place to stay at the "place of business" but she refused because she didn't want her girls to have to say they were raised in a cat house. I really loved that woman, even more than my own mother. She was tough yet kind. A devout Buddhist many of the towns-people called her a "living Buddha". No matter how much she didn't have she had something for those who had less.

I'm sure there are great moms like that everywhere but it just seems to be with more frequency in Japan.

[Wonky]

Sorry, seen that here, too. Usually, the chapatsu, Uniqlo sweat-wearing yan-mama reeking of cigarettes.

Forgot about them...I think the American ones are louder, though.

[lyzard]

I live in Japan and see horrible moms every day.

You should quit your job as an eikaiwa teacher.

[Hijinx]

You should quit your job as an eikaiwa teacher.

Try again.

[tora916]

You can find such stories from southasia to africa when a mother does sacrification to the betterment of her children. And millions of millions of women do that. By nature women is so built to care of their offsprings.
Then why your wife high lights your mother-in-law for a duty of her towards her children ?
Be aware of her evil designs and unknown motives to unnecessarily impress you.

Did you read the last sentence of my post, it leaves the door open IMO. I need to beware of my wife? After 43 years? Besides she's dead. Thanks.

[sunao]

Did you read the last sentence of my post, it leaves the door open IMO. I need to beware of my wife? After 43 years? Besides she's dead. Thanks.

Oh, reading this made me cringe... please ignore vinod, ok? Now that you've put him in his place, I mean... And I'm sorry to hear about your wife.

[tora916]

Oh, reading this made me cringe... please ignore vinod, ok? Now that you've put him in his place, I mean... And I'm sorry to hear about your wife.

Thank you. The Internet can be a double edged sword sometimes so I understand. I also know the frustration of being in another country and feeling sometimes powerless. When I was in Japan there was very little refuge for westerners like there is now simply because there were very few foreigners in Japan.

[alongdriver]

Thank you. The Internet can be a double edged sword sometimes so I understand. I also know the frustration of being in another country and feeling sometimes powerless. When I was in Japan there was very little refuge for westerners like there is now simply because there were very few foreigners in Japan.

I understand, but for me... I think even back then I would have had the occasion to laugh at some of them just as often as I do now. For me, walking down the street is like going to a comedy show for most people.







Don't mind me. Humor goes a Reaaaaaally long way for me to keep my demons at bay.

[GG_UK1]

to the OP fantastic story !!! it was in a different era where things were harder or less available
but its all over the world !! and will always happen but ty for sharing it with us

I have done all sorts for my kids..i dont want to talk about most what i've had to do BUT thats private to me i dont want to tell folks!!
mothers do that well i do ..i've had to alot of things and broken my pride for my sons....there's a phrase that i posted other day to my sons
its abit corny but true

QUOTE: if i have to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.

so i think that sums up a mothers love

best regards GG x

[tora916]

GG

That is a great post. Thank you for sharing that. The quote that you wrote is so great it needs repeating...everyday;

QUOTE: if i have to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.

[Tink_Thinks]

GG

That is a great post. Thank you for sharing that. The quote that you wrote is so great it needs repeating...everyday;

QUOTE: if i have to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.

It was absolutely spot on.

Like GG, I have sacrificed many things for my son too, but I don't want to share that stuff here either because there would be no humility in that. It's just what a good Mum does for their child/ren.

[MrFrench]

Here and there. Tokyo, Osaka and Nagoya (and other cities) have smoking bans in certain city-center areas. Lots of restaurants now are going smoke free--especially during lunchtime.

That doesn't take care of third-hand smoke.

[kurogane]

That doesn't take care of third-hand smoke.

That sounds kinky.

Is there a cafe that caters to it yet?

[Hijinx]

Third-hand smoke? Is that when you breath the mom's second-hand smoke coming out of the baby when you burp it?