dating advice in US

[jron]

Hi guys,

I could use a little advice on how to proceed here..
I met a J-girl who's been in the states for about 10 years and is probably early to mid 30's at a J-USA mixer. We exchanged emails for a few weeks and she tried to setup to meet at another event coming up. But before that could happen a last minute hiking thing came up and we went and did that this past Saturday and had good fun together. No touching just talk. Quick hug good night. Got home, sent her a little email saying thank you, nice time, blah blah.. So next afternoon I get a text from her and next thing I know we're going to dinner and a movie on Sunday. We even go to a later show so there's more time to talk between. So again the evening ends. No touching just talk. Quick hug good night.

So we are meeting tonight for that event she had setup in DC. Not even sure yet if we are going down together or meeting there. So anyway, its only been 2 dates. I'm pretty sure Sunday was a date and not a platonic thing. I'm not quite sure how to proceed. My guess is that I just need to be patient and wait until she signals something by beginning to touch me a little? Maybe just hold on until we have a chance to really go drinking together (alcohol always loosens things up and she does seem to be trying to find an opportunity to drink together).. Do I do something a little bold and, if the situation seems right, ask her if she would like to stay in DC for breakfast? Personally I think its a little quick for that as I'm not trying to nampa her.. Something in between?

I know a lot of this probably has nothing whatsoever to do with being a J-girl but all my friends are worthless nerds and it would be pointless to ask them any kind of dating advice. :-P Sorry if posting a stupid question like this here annoys anyone but it *is* the relationship forum.. Dating SUX.

yeah, I know I'm pathetic.. flame on...

[akahebi]

No flames here, just one word of advice: RUN!

10 years in the states? Boy, that girl is ruined!

[jron]

No flames here, just one word of advice: RUN!

10 years in the states? Boy, that girl is ruined!

lol.. what.. Are they only good fresh off the boat?

[NalgasCQ]

lol.. what.. Are they only good fresh off the boat?

Some guys seem to like it that way....

My advice, show her you like her (if you do), make the moves as you would back in your home country... and if she likes you it will all work out in the end. If she doesn't I am sure she will tell you to either not think about it, or slow down. Either way, she won't kick you to the curb. It is a win-win. I say, enjoy the moment.

[KansaiBen]

Some guys seem to like it that way....

My advice, show her you like her (if you do), make the moves as you would back in your home country... and if she likes you it will all work out in the end. If she doesn't I am sure she will tell you to either not think about it, or slow down. Either way, she won't kick you to the curb. It is a win-win. I say, enjoy the moment.

I will add, its not like shes asking you to marry her. The worst she can do is say no, I guess.

[NalgasCQ]

I will add, its not like shes asking you to marry her. The worst she can do is say no, I guess.

True that, true that. Life is wayyyyy to short.

[Runeblade48]

Well, I was kind of involved with a J-girl that was in the states a few years. We did that too, spent all day together but she didn't touch me and kept to herself. (she spent to afternoons at my house chilling and watching movies all day). I even tried to get closer to her on the couch and she kept all to herself. She later invited me up and it was 180 and she was all over me. So just because she keeps to herself doesn't mean she isnt interested,

[fortcher]

Don't touch her, always let the girl make the first move physically.

Make her fall in love more and more with you mentally until she basically can't keep her hands to herself, then you just let her go for it when she initiates it.

If you do the right thing and play the steps right, you can guarantee that she will reach this point eventually, it will turn her on even more that you don't appear to "want to be physical" with her etc. If you dive in for the grope/touch etc then you really do risk turning her off and scaring her off for good. Girls can think you're a creep/weirdo for doing that kind of thing. You have to attract her and make her want it, basically make her want to touch you. There are a million ways to do it etc.

But also balance that with not falling into the dreaded "friends zone"

[Marius_II]

Are they only good fresh off the boat?

Sounds like redsnake doesn't provide for multiple re-entries.

Me...I didn't understand what you were asking. Something about high school? Mountain. Cakes?
It's getting late here, in work-hours at least.

[RonBurgundy]

Are they only good fresh off the boat?

Does a bear sh!t in the woods?


Since you asked for a mans advice and I'm already logged on allow me to give you a play by play, playa.



Jron (nice name btw)- Hey J-cutie after that exciting seminar on molecular decomposition we should keep the fun rolling, would you like to get a cocktail? (double meaning implied)

Jcutie- Well I don't know jron, where do you want to go and how big is the cocktail going to be?

Jron- it's a nice loungy spot in georgetown with good music and great ambiance. Seeing as how we've done the nature and movie thing it's time to have some fun.

Jcutie- Well I don't know, I don't want to stay out too late. I normally pick up my newspaper at 630 AM on sunday morning. (it's very crucial at this juncture you respond like the smooth operator you are)

Jron- No worrries Jcutie, I promise to have you home before 630.

Jcuite- Oh Jron you are so funny. Ok let's go get a drink but I only want one. ( the universal lie)


Now it's up to you, your location selection and the circa 1983 John Travolta dance move to impress Jcutie into thiknking "if he moves like that on the dance floor I wonder what he'll do to me in bed".

One important thing to remember is to just relax and let the chips fall were they may. Don't be overeager to do anything and but when the time comes always be ready to act. You ARE the man so take some initiative.

[jron]

Well, I was kind of involved with a J-girl that was in the states a few years. We did that too, spent all day together but she didn't touch me and kept to herself. (she spent to afternoons at my house chilling and watching movies all day). I even tried to get closer to her on the couch and she kept all to herself. She later invited me up and it was 180 and she was all over me. So just because she keeps to herself doesn't mean she isnt interested,

Ya, I have heard that plenty so I am just taking it slow and not pushing anything. I figure as long as it doesn't go into the "friend zone" and we keep seeing each other it will eventually pop. If it had been an American gal I would be a little put off, but I have heard this same story from a lot of sources on J-girls.. So I guess I'll just be patient a while longer.. (^^)

[jtstowe]

how did she get citizenship? has she been married?

[White_C]

Rarely do Japanese girls make the first move physically. They will just sit and wait and keep waiting until you make some sort of move. Signals are very hard to see too as eye contact is at a minimal as well as flirtation.
You should just try to touch her arm as much as possible and when she says something funny, laugh and tap her arm.

[Gadzooks]

Hi guys,

yeah, I know I'm pathetic.. flame on...

Man, she obviously likes you enough to keep going on dates. Just the two of you. Alone.

What more encouragement do you need? A flashing neon sign saying "Mount me"?

If you don't kiss her immediately the next damn time you see her, she gonna lose all interest, and rightly so you dilly-dally-er.

You and Ron can do some practice kisses on each other first if you're nervous about it.

Kind regards,

G.

[RonBurgundy]

You and Ron can do some practice kisses on each other first if you're nervous about it.

Jealousy will get you nowhere........................................... ...........except maybe in my pants big boy.

Besides, didn't I help you with that burmese he/she tranny you were so totally into.



You're welcomed again,


Ron