busy???

[Majolie]

hey gaijinpotters,

I havent been here for awhile, so pls be nice...

Im sitting here drinking wine all by myself wearing a black dress waiting for a guy who just mailed me at midnight to tell me he couldnt make it because he is still in the meeting. On a friday night? this late? and he is suppose to be someone who is working for an eikaiwa and suppose to be one of the guys up there near the boss but really should I believe him?

He texts me and tell me he misses me and think abt me but always manage to cancel at the last minute because of work. We havent met for 2 weeks and meeting tonight was his idea...I just dont get it. Do you think I should give him a chance or move on?

p/s: I send him this picture Im attaching and he seems happy..why isnt he coming?? -.-"

[kurogane]

Hey Tootles,

Nice dress. Sorry to hear about the date.

Ummm, give him one more chance.

After all, it's Japan, and Friday is a work day, or, more accurately, so is Saturday. The weekend starts on Saturday evening, after all.

If he seems straight enough, and nice enough, and is apologetic enough, he probably desrves another chance.

But if he cancels on you again, then yeah, time to call the movers.

But seriously, NICE DRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Effected After]

He's married. Or has a girlfriend. Or both.

[Majolie]

thx Kurogane,

hes suppose to go out for drinks with his guy friends tomorrow night but since he failed to turn up today he should make it up to me by canceling his plans with his guy friends right? Isnt this themost appropriete thing to do if he is really sorry he couldnt make it to see me today? is this too much to hope for?

EffectedAfter:

He's married. Or has a girlfriend. Or both.

Ive thought abt this but ive been in his apartment and he doesnt have any women things around and confident enough to leave me in his apartment by myself while he went to the supermarket to buy groceries to fix me breakfast.

[Ermintrude]

...he is suppose to be someone who is working for an eikaiwa.

Hence the need for the gloves.

Seriously though... why the whatever are you even considering alone let alone being stood up by erm... erm...

Up your game... you are worth more.

Are there no w/bankers left in J-land at least?

[sunsoul]

He texts me and tell me he misses me and think abt me but always manage to cancel at the last minute because of work. We havent met for 2 weeks and meeting tonight was his idea...I just dont get it. Do you think I should give him a chance or move on?

Not good enough. Don't answer his mails or phone calls for a few weeks. Go out and have some fun. Someone who keeps you hanging all the time is just not worth running after. Don't play their game.

[RonBurgundy]

I think you made a mistake by sending him an upper pic.

It's Nippon, send a slightly more provocative pic of the lower half showing just enough to see the bottom half of your panites. This will almost maybe possibly bring home the bacon.

You're welcome.


PS: If you shave the tata place a small hair brush inside you panties to promote an even greater effect. Becasue everyone knows the jaaps love a wild hedge.

[davai.davai]

May I?

Dress is nice, it would look even better without the strap going behind your neck, or wrap it as a collar. Mixed signals [winkie]
You should have chosen a neutral background, the hair-dryer is a phantasm killer. So is the rubbish bin appearing in the bottom right corner.

Whip can't be seen, what are you doing with your hands?

[RonBurgundy]

May I?

Dress is nice, it would look even better without the strap going behind your neck, or wrap it as a collar. Mixed signals [winkie]
You should have chosen a neutral background, the hair-dryer is a phantasm killer. So is the rubbish bin appearing in the bottom right corner.

Whip can't be seen, what are you doing with your hands?

Now that you mention it, is she blow drying her hair next to the rice cooker?

I know apartments are small but I prefer to take a sh!t away from the kitchen.

[davai.davai]

Youngsters Ronnie, youngsters, no romanticism and we know it is in the details.

She is out, either to throw away the empty bottle or riding a taxi to surprise the guy at the end of his "meeting".

[Shonai Ben]

you are welcome at my place anytime ..........seriouslythough........this guy is either married or gay.........or both.

[RonBurgundy]

d'etre jeune et dans l'amour

[edin日本]

hey gaijinpotters,

I havent been here for awhile, so pls be nice...

Im sitting here drinking wine all by myself wearing a black dress waiting for a guy who just mailed me at midnight to tell me he couldnt make it because he is still in the meeting. On a friday night? this late? and he is suppose to be someone who is working for an eikaiwa and suppose to be one of the guys up there near the boss but really should I believe him?

He texts me and tell me he misses me and think abt me but always manage to cancel at the last minute because of work. We havent met for 2 weeks and meeting tonight was his idea...I just dont get it. Do you think I should give him a chance or move on?

p/s: I send him this picture Im attaching and he seems happy..why isnt he coming?? -.-"

Very nice dress! Like the gloves too! If I say I like the body will you hold it against me? Should he do this again dump him and call me.

[edin日本]

Whip can't be seen

There's a whip? OOOOOOO! This gets better by the moment!

[kurogane]

He's married. Or has a girlfriend. Or both.

Oooh. Ouch.

Hee Hee

thx Kurogane,

hes suppose to go out for drinks with his guy friends tomorrow night but since he failed to turn up today he should make it up to me by canceling his plans with his guy friends right? Isnt this themost appropriete thing to do if he is really sorry he couldnt make it to see me today? is this too much to hope for?.

Ummm, it could be. I understand how you feel, but you are effectively challenging him to set his priorities, and aside from the fact that you might lose, it might cause him to resent you.

I'm going to go the other way from the run of this thread, and assume that he is honest, and into you, but Very Very Busy. If he is in Eikaiwa, and working hard at it, he is probably doing the work of 4 people, given the state of the industry.

I think you're still a student, aren't you??? It really is rough out there right now for a lot of working people, so if you do like him, maybe give him a Get Out of Jail Free Card this time.

BUT, if this sort of thing happens a lot, maybe let him know that you are getting tired of it.

And if he doesn't change, dump him.

I once dated a Very Very Busy young woman (some sort of banking job). She was very nice, sweet, tall, seemed to honestly enjoy my stupid jokes, and had a great set of black rimmed librarian glasses. She also made a great breakfast. Unfortunately, she was constantly phoning at the last minute to cancel due to Work. I was actually okay with that, but then one day, when we were out with her work colleagues, one of them joked how I was The Girl, and she laughed and started ribbing me about it, which was inadvisable at best. Then she joked to them all how difficult it was to date a man that made less than she did (I don't know where she got that idea), and she got her walking papers.

Not until after she made me breakfast the next morning, of course........................

I still wonder if I did the right thing, but while I don't know much about women, I know all too well that once you let most Japanese woman think they have you down and bound, either you learn to live with it, or you head for the exit.

Which is to say, we all have our point of no return, but only you can decide yours.

[well_bicyclically]

hey gaijinpotters,

I havent been here for awhile, so pls be nice...

Im sitting here drinking wine all by myself wearing a black dress waiting for a guy who just mailed me at midnight to tell me he couldnt make it because he is still in the meeting. On a friday night? this late? and he is suppose to be someone who is working for an eikaiwa and suppose to be one of the guys up there near the boss but really should I believe him?

He texts me and tell me he misses me and think abt me but always manage to cancel at the last minute because of work. We havent met for 2 weeks and meeting tonight was his idea...I just dont get it. Do you think I should give him a chance or move on?

p/s: I send him this picture Im attaching and he seems happy..why isnt he coming?? -.-"

he either has commitments with workmates, OR would rather be with them than you. Perhaps you are too easy?

... these days, only the old ladies with something to conceal are wearing black.... the 'Wicked' effect....

[Majolie]

thx for the replies guys...I woke up with a bad hangover, 7 miss calls and 2 voicemails saying "I know youre pissed at me but pls call me back. I really want to talk to you"

*sigh

Im not gonna call him back...not for sometime. This is the second time he did this and another time where he cancelled and then call me back to change his mind. Kurogane, you could be right and he just might be just busy but not calling me or give me a short text earlier explaining that he can not make it wouldnt be too much to ask, I think.

This was what he said last time.
"i hope you understand that my job is important to me, and is part of who i am. i also hope that you like me enough to forgive the parts you don't like, and will still give me chances to spend time with you"

well_bicycally: Maybe I was easy, I donno..we are both adults and I just dont like to play games..

p/s:whips are on the way......you guys better behave!

[Iidabashi25]

thx for the replies guys...I woke up with a bad hangover, 7 miss calls and 2 voicemails saying "I know youre pissed at me but pls call me back. I really want to talk to you"

This was what he said last time.
"i hope you understand that my job is important to me, and is part of who i am. i also hope that you like me enough to forgive the parts you don't like, and will still give me chances to spend time with you"

Hahaha, if he was telling you the truth it would've have been... "That _____ pulled the same ____ she pulled last time and I couldn't get out." She knows just how to ____ up any plans I make."

This is a good thread to see just how stupid a woman can be when it comes to the "working" late story.

[Scot27]

Where were you planning on going on your date?

Seems a very fancy dress to go out on normal date.

You look like a hostess actually.

[Keeptrying]

The dress is fine. The problem is there isn't a Japanese girl's figure inside it..

[PurpleDaisies]

The dress is fine. The problem is there isn't a Japanese girl's figure inside it..

Oh that is just silly.
You are obviously trolling, trying to get people to either jump on the "only Japanese women are beautiful" or the "Japanese women are not beautiful, too skinny etc" bandwagons.

I don`t always get on with Majolie, but I cannot deny that she has a lovely figure and surely neither can you.


And I would say that her figure is much closer to a Japanese woman`s figure than anyone else on this forum (with the possible exception on Murasaki).

[kurogane]

I don`t always get on with Majolie, but I cannot deny that she has a lovely figure and surely neither can you..

Enquiring minds want to know how you know that.

And invite me and well bicyclicallly next time, please.

We're both lesbians, you know.

[PurpleDaisies]

Enquiring minds want to know how you know that.

And invite me and well bicyclicallly next time, please.

We're both lesbians, you know.

Oh Kurogane, I almost hate to burst your little bubble of fantasy by pointing out that Majolie just posted a photo of herself in her black dress and has previously posted photos of her legs. I haven`t actually got any closer to her figure than you, but if it helps your lonely nights you may go on imagining that I have.

Oh and btw...dressing up in women`s clothing while masturbating to naked women doesn`t make you a lesbian.



but I still love you, so if Majolie and I ever make each other`s aquaintance I will be sure to let you (and Well Bicyclically) know. Afterwards anyway......

[Majolie]

Where were you planning on going on your date?
Seems a very fancy dress to go out on normal date.
You look like a hostess actually.

Not going anywhere, just drinking wine and snacks while catching up a bit followed by some light s&m.

Purpledaisies: thank you nothing makes my day more then a compliment from another women which i can believe. You gave me some of my self esteem back *hugs* and yes id love to meet you someday.

Got this text from him today. Donno what to make of it so Im just gonna lay it out and hear your insights.

"the last thing I want to do is hurt someone I care about, and I really care abt you. even though you might not realise from how ive treated you

I was calling this morning because I wanted to come and see you

If you think I cant give you what you need, then please do what you need to do.

I really hope you dont, as I love spending time with you, but I want you to feel appreciated and cared for"

[twelvedown]

I was calling this morning because I wanted to come and see you

If you think I cant give you what you need, then please do what you need to do.

I really hope you dont, as I love spending time with you, but I want you to feel appreciated and cared for"

To me this reads "Please let me go".

Or to extrapolate, as you seem to look quite nice "Please let me go so I can go and do my hair JUST RIGHT for hours and hours in front of the mirror, strike a few poses then go out with with my buddies who have cool hair too..AND O.M.G the same jeans I'm wearing! And then come back home and catch up on some workout tips from some of those nice team sports magazines."

You look nothing like his mother. How dare you expect to be loved?

[edin日本]

thx for the replies guys...I woke up with a bad hangover, 7 miss calls and 2 voicemails saying "I know youre pissed at me but pls call me back. I really want to talk to you"

*sigh

Im not gonna call him back...not for sometime. This is the second time he did this and another time where he cancelled and then call me back to change his mind. Kurogane, you could be right and he just might be just busy but not calling me or give me a short text earlier explaining that he can not make it wouldnt be too much to ask, I think.

This was what he said last time.
"i hope you understand that my job is important to me, and is part of who i am. i also hope that you like me enough to forgive the parts you don't like, and will still give me chances to spend time with you"

Nice of him to say that but he's taking advantage of you. Serve him notice at least that if he's going to cancel to he should call you. It's great that he's being the hard charging corporate warrior in pursuit of the almighty yen but, you need to remind him that it will hurt the relationship in the end. Afterall you aren't some J-gurl bent on being his J-wife.

p/s:whips are on the way......you guys better behave!

NEVER!!!

[RonBurgundy]

Maj, ALWAYS!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8386U...eature=related

[Keeptrying]

Oh that is just silly.
You are obviously trolling, trying to get people to either jump on the "only Japanese women are beautiful"

Um, you seriously think that might NOT be true for 99.9% of foreign males in Japan? Yeah, right, do a male GP poll.

[Sterling]

I tried to think of a few reasons why your friend bowed out at the last minute on Friday.

Many have already mentioned theories that he might be seeing someone else. Or, maybe he simply does not have his priorities straight - he drinks with his beloved co-workers and either loves the camaraderie or the bottle.

However, you mentioned that his employer was an eikaiwa. That made it hard to imagine what sort of late night work would keep him occupied that late on a Friday - whether he were a teacher or staff. It's true I've never worked in that industry and could not think of a good reason.

Then it dawned on me ... it's a sector that tends to offer poor compensation. It could be that your friend is having a hard time making ends meet. He applies wishful thinking to the hope he will get a higher paycheck but discovers his employer is as stingy as ever. He makes a date with you two weeks in advance but discovers the few brown notes with Mr Fukuzawa imprinted on them that he stashed away were spent on unexpected expenses. Friday has rolled around, and the young man is in a state of panic. No money! He texts you a lame excuse.

[edin日本]

The dress is fine. The problem is there isn't a Japanese girl's figure inside it..

Not cool there dude. With an attitude like that it's no wonder women kick you to the curb.

[Majolie]

Then it dawned on me ... it's a sector that tends to offer poor compensation. It could be that your friend is having a hard time making ends meet. He applies wishful thinking to the hope he will get a higher paycheck but discovers his employer is as stingy as ever. He makes a date with you two weeks in advance but discovers the few brown notes with Mr Fukuzawa imprinted on them that he stashed away were spent on unexpected expenses. Friday has rolled around, and the young man is in a state of panic. No money! He texts you a lame excuse.

Thanx for your insights. I understand its a struggle in an eikaiwa, tho I dont think its money issue. He lives in an apartment twice bigger then mine, 5 min walking distance from Hakata Station, which is like the biggest and busiest station in Kyushu. I do know though that his boss depends on him a lot and theyre close and its good for his job. And he doesnt want anything to ruin the connection he has with his boss hence he would ditch me if his boss ask him to go out for drinks.

However, I am p1ssed that he failed to call/text me untill really late and made me waiting anxiously. For me this is very disrespectful and speak volumes of how much regards he has for me. And this time I think he need to do better then telling me some excuses and apologizing . I want to see some actions...anything. Standing in the rain in front of my porch with flowers would do it lol but thats wishful thinking. For now ive decided to move on...

some extra info: weve known each other for 2 months and lives 40mins apart.

p/s: Edin I luv your vid

pp/s: Ron not so much yours :P

[Sterling]

Thanx for your insights. I understand its a struggle in an eikaiwa, tho I dont think its money issue. He lives in an apartment twice bigger then mine, 5 min walking distance from Hakata Station, which is like the biggest and busiest station in Kyushu. I do know though that his boss depends on him a lot and theyre close and its good for his job. And he doesnt want anything to ruin the connection he has with his boss hence he would ditch me if his boss ask him to go out for drinks.

....

Okay, then it's the 'corporate camaraderie' that he's addicted to. That makes him an idiot and someone who is highly inconsiderate. Good on you for dumping him.

[trunker]

To me this reads "Please let me go".

Or to extrapolate, as you seem to look quite nice "Please let me go so I can go and do my hair JUST RIGHT for hours and hours in front of the mirror, strike a few poses then go out with with my buddies who have cool hair too..AND O.M.G the same jeans I'm wearing! And then come back home and catch up on some workout tips from some of those nice team sports magazines."

You look nothing like his mother. How dare you expect to be loved?

this,... its quite clear from his text.

[PurpleDaisies]

Um, you seriously think that might NOT be true for 99.9% of foreign males in Japan? Yeah, right, do a male GP poll.

Well, it is irrelevant to this thread. She is obviously an attractive woman no matter whether she is your cup of tea or not. And.... The guy in question isn't a male GPer, so doing a poll on the issue isn't going to add anything useful.
All the other male GPers are actually being courteous and offering helpful advice.
Hey how about "trying" that?

[Genta]

The dress suits you <3 ^_^
Naww it's lame that he has to work , but I think he's being genuine about it ^_^`
I've lived with 6 different Japanese families and sometimes the Husband couldn't take the day off or had to stay late even on their birthdays
It's unfortunate, but it also depends on how lenient the boss is?
Maybe he cancelled cos he was tired and then thought he'd upset you...?

[jerseykid]

your picture does not show much really

it could be your face

or do you have big calves?

[DavidTheGnome]

The dress is fine. The problem is there isn't a Japanese girl's figure inside it..

Is it because any other pus$y outside of the J-species would be out of your element? You know, that's the number one sign of someone who suffers from the oh-so apparent disease called "yellow fever," which actually isn't too uncommon here on the forum.


Maj- glad you dumped the guy, you are way too hot to be his arm candy. As I said many times on this dump, you should be snapping your fingers and saying "next" and I'm sure a line of potential play-mates would form just to be next to you.

[jinseinosensei]

Well, it is irrelevant to this thread. She is obviously an attractive woman no matter whether she is your cup of tea or not. And.... The guy in question isn't a male GPer, so doing a poll on the issue isn't going to add anything useful.
All the other male GPers are actually being courteous and offering helpful advice.
Hey how about "trying" that?

I fail to see the merit in the statement "She is obviously an attractive woman." Isn't "attractiveness", like beauty, subjective, as in "in the eye of the beholder" and isn't the "eye of the beholder" affected by the heart of the beholder...? I could agree with you if you were to say that the woman in the photo is "sexy" or "attractive in a sexual way", but being attractive means having the power to draw and you seem to think it enough to be able to "draw" a sexual reaction. Which, if it IS enough, only applies to initial contact and ongoing physical desire. I believe Maj is talking about something else here.

In my opinion "attractiveness" is much more than being able to give a man a hard on. I think this is upsetting to Maj because it ISN'T a lack of attention due to being PHYSICALLY unattractive. Once the initial novelty and curiosity are gone, a relationship requires more than physical attractiveness to nourish it. Isn't it possible that Maj has come to a point where she desires to be attractive in a multi-faceted way, as opposed to only in a physical way...? A person will seek to discover or maintain that which is missing from one relationship in ANOTHER. Perhaps Maj wants more from the guy in question than that for which he visits. Maybe she wants to be more to him than that which she is.

Personally, I'm attracted to certain aspects of Maj's personality and some of the points she has made in her statements elsewhere, but have no desire to be near as promiscuous and experienced a woman as she seems. I doubt she can be happy with a man who doesn't physically WANT her, yet I think she wants him to see more in her. But a woman can expect only so much depth from a drunken man who follows her home being pulled by his pecker as it drunkenly chases her pheromones. There are no healthy fish in a toxic waste dump. People who fish there must take what they can get.

And before some of you decide to make ME the new topic of the thread, I suggest you consider that I might actually care and think this needed to be said. Each is free to ignore it.

Maj,

Your arrangement with the guy is physical and his lack of acknowledgment of your emotional needs is very telling. He probably assumes you see as little in him as he does you. I believe he views your relationship as one of convenience and comfort. If you want more from it, you need to tell him of your desires and be firm about your expectations. Even the worst of men apologize AFTER cheating or beating. They are like criminals who enter a plea AFTER their crime has been learned. Only YOU can determine whether or not the relationship is fair and balanced. Only YOU can place a value on yourself and the convenience, comfort, etc... I recommend a real conversation and explanation of your needs. If revealing your needs to a man is beneath you..., I recommend moving from one to the next as quickly and painlessly as possible.

[edin日本]

I fail to see the merit in the statement "She is obviously an attractive woman." Isn't "attractiveness", like beauty, subjective, as in "in the eye of the beholder" and isn't the "eye of the beholder" affected by the heart of the beholder...? I could agree with you if you were to say that the woman in the photo is "sexy" or "attractive in a sexual way", but being attractive means having the power to draw and you seem to think it enough to be able to "draw" a sexual reaction. Which, if it IS enough, only applies to initial contact and ongoing physical desire. I believe Maj is talking about something else here.

In my opinion "attractiveness" is much more than being able to give a man a hard on. I think this is upsetting to Maj because it ISN'T a lack of attention due to being PHYSICALLY unattractive. Once the initial novelty and curiosity are gone, a relationship requires more than physical attractiveness to nourish it. Isn't it possible that Maj has come to a point where she desires to be attractive in a multi-faceted way, as opposed to only in a physical way...? A person will seek to discover or maintain that which is missing from one relationship in ANOTHER. Perhaps Maj wants more from the guy in question than that for which he visits. Maybe she wants to be more to him than that which she is.

Personally, I'm attracted to certain aspects of Maj's personality and some of the points she has made in her statements elsewhere, but have no desire to be near as promiscuous and experienced a woman as she seems. I doubt she can be happy with a man who doesn't physically WANT her, yet I think she wants him to see more in her. But a woman can expect only so much depth from a drunken man who follows her home being pulled by his pecker as it drunkenly chases her pheromones. There are no healthy fish in a toxic waste dump. People who fish there must take what they can get.

And before some of you decide to make ME the new topic of the thread, I suggest you consider that I might actually care and think this needed to be said. Each is free to ignore it.

Maj,

Your arrangement with the guy is physical and his lack of acknowledgment of your emotional needs is very telling. He probably assumes you see as little in him as he does you. I believe he views your relationship as one of convenience and comfort. If you want more from it, you need to tell him of your desires and be firm about your expectations. Even the worst of men apologize AFTER cheating or beating. They are like criminals who enter a plea AFTER their crime has been learned. Only YOU can determine whether or not the relationship is fair and balanced. Only YOU can place a value on yourself and the convenience, comfort, etc... I recommend a real conversation and explanation of your needs. If revealing your needs to a man is beneath you..., I recommend moving from one to the next as quickly and painlessly as possible.

jin, you talk to much. I've asked Tonto, the Loan Arranger's faithful stooge to translate your message. Here's what he has to say;

Hmmmm! Tonto say stupid American ex GI talk too much. Short form of long message is "Squaw look good in sexy black dress. Eikaiwa wimp not know good thing when he see it. He have buffalo turd for brain. Ex GI say dump buffalo turd brain now! Then he want to make move on girl in sexy black dress.

[PurpleDaisies]

jin, you talk to much. I've asked Tonto, the Loan Arranger's faithful stooge to translate your message. Here's what he has to say;

OMG Ed! You just made me cackle maniacally in public. I was just about to get on the train and was reading GP on my phone.
People around me have moved away thinking I am mad, except for one salaryman who must have a thing for crazy women and has followed me onto the train and keeps smiling at me.
Love the translation!!!