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The MIL's eating habits

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  • The MIL's eating habits

    I have a dilemma and would appreciate sensible advice. Silly advice I see as a bonus.

    The wife and family went out the other day for dinner. Thoughout the dinner the MIL would only speak when she had a huge mouthful of rice or other delicacies. Mouth empty = temporary silent pause. Mouth stuffed to overflow = commence speaking.

    I really hate this and find it gross to see people stuffing their gobs and then speak in that awful throaty muffling way that accompanies gob stuffers' eating style. Plus I couldn't focus on what she was saying coz I was too bent on avoiding flying bits of food from her wide open mouth.

    I'm dreading the next family get-together and considering wearing full kevlar body armour and full face crash helmet. Would she get that hint, do ya think?

    How would you deal with this ficking nightmare?

  • #2
    I have no advice other than good luck, but the odd coincidence is that I just logged on here to let loose with a huge rant against my partner's father who is so chavenistic and childish that I am still shaking after spending the evening with them.

    It seems to be a bad day for dining with the in laws. Your story sounds worse though.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by HarryHurry View Post
      I have a dilemma and would appreciate sensible advice. Silly advice I see as a bonus.

      The wife and family went out the other day for dinner. Thoughout the dinner the MIL would only speak when she had a huge mouthful of rice or other delicacies. Mouth empty = temporary silent pause. Mouth stuffed to overflow = commence speaking.

      I really hate this and find it gross to see people stuffing their gobs and then speak in that awful throaty muffling way that accompanies gob stuffers' eating style. Plus I couldn't focus on what she was saying coz I was too bent on avoiding flying bits of food from her wide open mouth.

      I'm dreading the next family get-together and considering wearing full kevlar body armour and full face crash helmet. Would she get that hint, do ya think?

      How would you deal with this ficking nightmare?
      In general you need to sort out your side of the family and the wife has to sort out hers. IMO you are on the wrong side of the table to have any leverage if the wife does not lead the way. Have you discussed your concerns with your honey?

      Comment


      • #4
        Maybe you could snap candid photos during the meal (especially when the rice is flying) and print of the choicest ones to give her as a present. Totally innocent of course.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by HarryHurry View Post
          I have a dilemma and would appreciate sensible advice. Silly advice I see as a bonus.

          The wife and family went out the other day for dinner. Thoughout the dinner the MIL would only speak when she had a huge mouthful of rice or other delicacies. Mouth empty = temporary silent pause. Mouth stuffed to overflow = commence speaking.

          I really hate this and find it gross to see people stuffing their gobs and then speak in that awful throaty muffling way that accompanies gob stuffers' eating style. Plus I couldn't focus on what she was saying coz I was too bent on avoiding flying bits of food from her wide open mouth.

          I'm dreading the next family get-together and considering wearing full kevlar body armour and full face crash helmet. Would she get that hint, do ya think?

          How would you deal with this ficking nightmare?
          Aren't you over 60 years old? How old is your MIL? Older or younger than you?

          Is this something new or has she been doing this for years on end? Could it be a health issue? Could it be age related?

          My grandma's eating gradually got sloppier as she got older. She just wasn't as in tune with what she was doing once she got into her 80s.

          Unless your wife is way way way younger than you, you MIL is probably well beyond the point of even being aware or caring about stuff like that, so it's unlikely she's going to change. But, I guess you, your wife and maybe some other family members could try talking to her. Maybe she's just not aware of how she's eating.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by HarryHurry View Post
            How would you deal with this ficking nightmare?
            I'd deal with it by saying don't bring your mother in law s.hit on here. It's your problem. Sort it out.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Vortex View Post
              I'd deal with it by saying don't bring your mother in law s.hit on here. It's your problem. Sort it out.

              Did you not get your leg over last night, or something...?

              Comment


              • #8
                You simply roll up the corner of a serviette and shove it up a nostril letting the three cornered remains dangle in front of your mouth. When a piece of foreign body attacks you .... blow on the serviette, then with cringing eyes just keep repeating " C ma Sen"-" C ma Sen" while banging your head on the table.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Get a pair of googles and wear a smock...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You could sit directly across from her and do the 'mirror image copycat' game. Maybe she'll get disgusted by your actions and then you can politely tell her that you were unsure of your Japanese table manners, so you thought it best to mimic hers.

                    Or not.

                    My advice for you, start drinking heavily and don't mind.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I say throw down your chopsticks in disgust, and declare, in your loudest voice " Kiiitttanaaaaaiiiii"

                      Or ask her if she wouldn't, perhaps, prefer a shovel?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I don't think this is an isolated case. I see this behaviour when I go out to eat with groups. They tend to continue talking with food in their mouths. It seems to be acceptable here but not to our sensibilities. I have learned to live with it and hide my distaste.

                        Not all our Western "civilised" behavoiurs are transferable to the locals, and nor should they be. I've learned to adapt my outlook to many cultural differences and this happens to be one of them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by HarryHurry View Post
                          I have a dilemma and would appreciate sensible advice. Silly advice I see as a bonus.

                          The wife and family went out the other day for dinner. Thoughout the dinner the MIL would only speak when she had a huge mouthful of rice or other delicacies. Mouth empty = temporary silent pause. Mouth stuffed to overflow = commence speaking.

                          I really hate this and find it gross to see people stuffing their gobs and then speak in that awful throaty muffling way that accompanies gob stuffers' eating style. Plus I couldn't focus on what she was saying coz I was too bent on avoiding flying bits of food from her wide open mouth.

                          I'm dreading the next family get-together and considering wearing full kevlar body armour and full face crash helmet. Would she get that hint, do ya think?

                          How would you deal with this ficking nightmare?
                          You are being crazy.
                          All Japanese are polite, clean and have impeccable table manners.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            .......sit at a different table.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Next time try "Sorry, what was that you said? I can't understand you with all that food in your mouth."
                              If you do it a lot, maybe she will just get in the habit- at least when talking to you- like training a dog.

                              Comment

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