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Does "I love you" mean less to Japanese people than Westerners?

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  • Does "I love you" mean less to Japanese people than Westerners?

    So I have been dating this guy for less than two months and he drops the "L" bomb on me over the phone. I am trying not to panic. I really like him a lot, but I am not ready to introduce the "L" word to my vocabulary just yet, or the "Ai" phrase for that matter. Now that isn't to say I'm not open to exploring that idea later down the line- but it is WAY too soon for me.

    I did a little research and have come up with some conflicting information. Some sources say that japanese GIRLS, tend to say it quickly and that is means more like a strong 'I like you,' versus the western idea of being in love. Other sources say that men that say it, they mean really DO mean it (in a similar way to what western people mean when it is confessed).

    Now this guy is what I would consider a sports jock, he's a serious athlete. He isn't an Otaku or a Gaijin hunter or any of those creepy things. He is just a normal Japanese dude in medical school. Which is why I am wondering what this forum had decided the consensus is on Japanese dudes and saying "I love you."

    Is it normal for people to say this so early in a relationship (i.e does it mean less to him than it does to me), or does it mean the same thing to him and I have a seriously awkward conversation ahead of me?

  • #2
    Does he say to you "daisuki" or "ai____eiru"? There is a difference between those two expressions.

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    • #3
      He said "I love you" in english.

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      • #4
        Ohhh, then he might be quite serious about it. It doesnt matter how long you know each other. Me and my husband we were in love at first sight and are now happily married together for 4 years.

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        • #5
          Right but, we haven't been dating long enough for either of us to know the ugly side of each other's personalities. We haven't even fought yet. I mean, I don't want to say it back if in 4 months he is going to discover something he doesn't like about me and flake out. It a big commitment for me to say words to someone.

          I've been side skirting it by like kissing him or saying things like "ditto."

          I am really confused as to what to do.

          I really like him a lot and I don't want to mess this up.

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          • #6
            I understand. Just take it easy and enjoy every moment with him. Dont think negative things, the future will take care of itself.

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            • #7
              Okay, you are right Kiboo. Thanks for the advice!

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              • #8
                You are welcome. Good luck !!!

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                • #9
                  "I love you?" in English? Then he is joking. I bet if you asked him in Japanese he would say some thing like "suki! mechamecha suki"

                  I think if he is in med school, you don't need to worry about him wanting to marry you anyways. His parents will already have someone lined up for him.

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                  • #10
                    Tell him that if he is serious, he should be saying it to you in Japanese.

                    (Japanese people very rarely say it)

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                    • #11
                      I think you are overanalyzing this. Just continue seeing him and see how it goes. What's a gaijin hunter?

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by kawaiigyaru View Post
                        I think you are overanalyzing this. Just continue seeing him and see how it goes. What's a gaijin hunter?
                        I think you are too, as you were in your last thread about him introducing you to his friends and family. I can understand your anxiety about things going wrong but it's worth remembering that the differences among Japanese people greatly outweigh their similarities - you know him best and you can probably trust your instincts.

                        Kawaiigyaru - A gaijin hunter is a Japanese person who tries to acquire foreign partners and/or friends for any number of reasons apart from the right ones - e.g., free language lessons, cultural insight, trophy boy/girlfriend, cute mixed-race children, hatred of their own culture...

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by whitwhit View Post
                          Is it normal for people to say this so early in a relationship (i.e does it mean less to him than it does to me), or does it mean the same thing to him and I have a seriously awkward conversation ahead of me?
                          You are probaby "in love". Report back when you know what that means. We'd like to know too.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Esoteric View Post
                            Japanese people very rarely say it....
                            but AKB 48 sold millions of CD's singing it....

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                            • #15
                              But please remember – AKB48 children are not allowed to have a romantic relationship – so they could hardly claim to know the meaning of those wordsc

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                              • Super Grover
                                Super Grover commented
                                Editing a comment
                                And, strictly speaking, what AKB48 and their sister troupes do is not singing.
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