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How do I meet Japanese guys?

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  • Originally posted by DevilishRose
    Oh, please. Be yourself and stay what you are. Being natural is the best way to win. Your think Japanese guys won't figure out if you start pretending? They have a pile of Japanese girls who are perfect at pretending. Lie is not what they expect from a foreign woman. Because they can easily find lie among their own Japanese women. They don't need them or their lie anymore.
    I am sure she doesn't want to win social points among losers. What they think of her is unlikely her problem at all.
    I agree that the OP shouldn't try to fake things or try to be something she's not and she should keep her high standards. On the other hand, just as she's proud of her achievements/intelligence/looks and so on, and seems to want to be admired. Well, all I'm saying is that her dates probably feel the same. There's a reason she's on a date with them/finds them attractive and she needs to let them know that if she wants things to continue. I wouldn't waste my time on a second/third date if I thought the guy wasn't really interested in me/thought he could do better than me. So why is she surprised if the men she has been out with don't pursue it if she hasn't complimented them or made her interest clear ?

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    • Originally posted by Trichophyton-in-my-pants View Post
      ....stick thin has run it's course.
      i hope not

      as they say, a woman can never be too rich or too thin.


      they *do* say that, right????

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      • Originally posted by Koisomemomiji View Post
        I will admit it is a flaw of mine to have an ego. I hate losing, I am competitive and I don't like it when people are better than me at things. However, I am aware of this
        Well that's a start. I saw this article on Yahoo today about "defensive dating" and thought of you...
        http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/...el=%27nofollow

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        • Or one sits--whatever.

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          • Originally posted by DevilishRose
            Probably because she didn't have the reasons to compliment them or made her interest clear. That happens.
            It does. And a woman by no means has to compliment the man she is on a date with. But, she then cuts herself off from any men who like to be complimented. If she's ok with that, then there is no problem.

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            • Originally posted by Booker View Post
              i hope not

              as they say, a woman can never be too rich or too thin.


              they *do* say that, right????
              I beg to disagree.

              Some junk in the trunk is always better than a Skeletor. I have a rule of thumb that if the I got the largest chest in the group, it's time to hit the subway.

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              • Originally posted by monkeywrench View Post
                Well that's a start. I saw this article on Yahoo today about "defensive dating" and thought of you...
                http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/...el=%27nofollow
                This is a great article, and the advice works for all relationships, not just romantic ones!

                Originally posted by Trichophyton-in-my-pants View Post
                I beg to disagree.

                Some junk in the trunk is always better than a Skeletor. I have a rule of thumb that if the I got the largest chest in the group, it's time to hit the subway.

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                • Originally posted by Seattlegirl View Post


                  Yeeesh! I don't know if I should skrew her or pick my teeth with her. Somebody throw her a cheeseburger and a bottle of methadone pills.

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                  • She looks like Leonardo DiCaprio.

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                    • Originally posted by monkeywrench View Post
                      Well that's a start. I saw this article on Yahoo today about "defensive dating" and thought of you...
                      http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/...el=%27nofollow
                      Great article. Like someone said, works for any relationship (professional, friendly, family, etc) :^)

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                      • I can understand how you could misunderstand what I said with your limited English abilities.

                        But unfortunately I don't like you, or I'd give you a free English lesson on how you were wrong in what you thought I meant. Needless to say, all of us native speakers can see it.

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                        • Omg, so much drama in this forum! LOL

                          Thats insane.

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                          • Originally posted by Sparda View Post
                            Omg, so much drama in this forum! LOL

                            Thats insane.
                            eh....it's a way to pass the time.....

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                            • Originally posted by monkeywrench View Post
                              Well that's a start. I saw this article on Yahoo today about "defensive dating" and thought of you...
                              http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/...el=%27nofollow
                              Hmm..not really.. not on a conscious level anyway. It's entirely possible that my subconscious body language is defensive, but nobody has ever mentioned to me otherwise. I'm probably more someone who doesn't express appreciation well.

                              Well this right here is your problem. Up until the last chapter it appeared a badger ran up your skirt and ruined what could have been a perfectly pleasent exchange of ideas and interests. You ain't gonna be winning social points with that attitude.
                              What peculiar use of English... anyway I don't see the logic in your statement, unless you're being deliberately funny - First I was explaining what I said before, then mentioning how there is variation amongst people in Japan, and that sometimes you can help each other see each others' points of view. That loses "social points" how?

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                              • Originally posted by Koisomemomiji View Post
                                Hmm..not really.. not on a conscious level anyway. It's entirely possible that my subconscious body language is defensive, but nobody has ever mentioned to me otherwise. I'm probably more someone who doesn't express appreciation well.
                                Yeah, you're probably right. Either that or, there's really no nice way to say this but bear with me, you're not quite as intellectually advanced as you think you are. I don't think you're dumb by any means, but your observations on Japanese stereotypes, variation and relationships, and how you expressed them, while all very thoughtful and not wrong, seem to be real eye openers for you but are actually pretty pedestrian to some of us who have gone a bit longer and deeper. Not that I begrudge inexperience. We all had to go through it and ought to graciously allow others to reinvent the wheel too. But that's hard when they've got a holier-than-thou attitude. "Sophomoric" is the word that comes to mind.

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