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dating/engaged/married to a japanese man????

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  • dating/engaged/married to a japanese man????

    I was wondering if any foreign women on here are engaged or married to a Japanese man. How did you meet? Who asked who out? What's it like? Etc...I'm trying to debunk the common belief that all Jguys are quiet and shy, if possible...come on I know some of you out there are with Jguys!!!

  • #2
    Originally posted by nawlinsgurl
    I was wondering if any foreign women on here are engaged or married to a Japanese man. How did you meet? Who asked who out? What's it like? Etc...I'm trying to debunk the common belief that all Jguys are quiet and shy, if possible...come on I know some of you out there are with Jguys!!!

    You still trying to catch a guy after all this time?

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    • #3
      I have been with a J-Guy for the last three and a half years.
      I was the one who made the pounce at a nightclub but he was the one who made it something other than a quickie.

      Now, any WOMEN out there who like to share their stories?

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      • #4
        misome

        Met my J-hubby in uni in Australia. He called me up for a date... then pursued a long-distance relationship with me when I went back to my home country (Singapore).

        He got a job in Singapore and we eventually married. We're now in Japan.

        He actually told me how he felt about me on the second date...so, eventhough he comes across as generally shy and quiet, he's very open and goes after what he wants. Been together for 14 years already.

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        • #5
          I wish I could add to it, but my husband is American. Anyhow thanks for the input. I'm in a Sociology class and writing about dating within different cultures.

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          • #6
            I'm married to a Japanese guy, and have a few friends who are dating or have dated Japanese guys, and our experiences were pretty similar. The guy made the first 'getting-to-know-you' move (asking for phone number, etc), the girl made the first sexual move, and then the guy was first to say 'I love you' or suggest marriage/living together.

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            • #7
              Yes, I think it's pretty common for Japanese boys (men, guys...whichever word you prefer) to move rather quickly. I think someone made the connection to a dog marking his territory. Though not entirely flattering, I do love dogs and I think the comment is rather accurate Strange how quickly things can move from first kiss to "let's make a baby"...

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              • #8
                Originally posted by person
                Yes, I think it's pretty common for Japanese boys (men, guys...whichever word you prefer) to move rather quickly. I think someone made the connection to a dog marking his territory. Though not entirely flattering, I do love dogs and I think the comment is rather accurate Strange how quickly things can move from first kiss to "let's make a baby"...

                Maybe they just want to make sure the (biggish) juicy looking fish doesnt get away while its still on the hook.

                Make hay while the sun shines as they say.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Flying_Dutchman
                  Maybe they just want to make sure the (biggish) juicy looking fish doesnt get away while its still on the hook.

                  Make hay while the sun shines as they say.

                  Now, FD, I don't mind being called juicy...but biggish? I'll cry if you're not careful.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by person
                    Now, FD, I don't mind being called juicy...but biggish? I'll cry if you're not careful.


                    I didnt mean size as such but as in 'quality'. a 20 pound trout on the line usually doesnt go to waste though.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Flying_Dutchman
                      I didnt mean size as such but as in 'quality'. a 20 pound trout on the line usually doesnt go to waste though.
                      Yes, yes -- I don't often go to waste Not sure if that's quality but...

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                      • #12
                        You mean when my beloved held me in his arms and whispered lovingly "I want to be with you forever, lets get married?" it was the verbal equivalent of ____ing his leg?! Great...

                        But seriously, I think Japanese people are a bit more, I dunno, clear-cut or efficient about making a relationship permanent. If they love you they want to get married. I think Westerners put more emphasis on being sure or waiting for a while.

                        I know I wanted to wait a while after our engagement and hubby was mighty confused. He didn't see the difference in getting married now, or getting married a year later, the end result is the same. He seemed to think it was a sign of doubt, of waiting to see if a problem would occur. I kinda see his point really.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by misokatsu
                          You mean when my beloved held me in his arms and whispered lovingly "I want to be with you forever, lets get married?" it was the verbal equivalent of ____ing his leg?! Great...

                          But seriously, I think Japanese people are a bit more, I dunno, clear-cut or efficient about making a relationship permanent. If they love you they want to get married. I think Westerners put more emphasis on being sure or waiting for a while.

                          I know I wanted to wait a while after our engagement and hubby was mighty confused. He didn't see the difference in getting married now, or getting married a year later, the end result is the same. He seemed to think it was a sign of doubt, of waiting to see if a problem would occur. I kinda see his point really.

                          I dont want to go on one of my rants again but a foreigner has far more to lose in japan when a marriage goes south and it gets even worse when there are kids involved. the deck is stacked against foreign spouses and you are dealing with a foreign court system and foreign language and totally alien mindset.

                          Japanese hubby gets divorced and hes off the hook. Wife gets divorced here and shes hung out to dry legally and financially. It pays to be careful here when marrying japanese.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by misokatsu
                            You mean when my beloved held me in his arms and whispered lovingly "I want to be with you forever, lets get married?" it was the verbal equivalent of ____ing his leg?! Great...

                            But seriously, I think Japanese people are a bit more, I dunno, clear-cut or efficient about making a relationship permanent. If they love you they want to get married. I think Westerners put more emphasis on being sure or waiting for a while.

                            I know I wanted to wait a while after our engagement and hubby was mighty confused. He didn't see the difference in getting married now, or getting married a year later, the end result is the same. He seemed to think it was a sign of doubt, of waiting to see if a problem would occur. I kinda see his point really.
                            Nice analogy, eh? Good things my dogs - and the boys I've dated - have been cute! That said --

                            Interesting point you make. I just wonder -- how could a boy "know" so soon. I mean, I can't see A person really knowing THIS person (me!) that well on let's say...date #2. I've said it before -- I was SO surprised the first time a boy wanted to have sex on like Date #2. I assumed it was just sex...I mean, what decent boy would want a girl that puts out that soon? To my surprise, this wasn't just a "fling" -- marriage, babies...it was all mentioned. This is not all together uncommon from what I've heard...and the boys were not OLD just looking to settle down ASAP with whomever.

                            I just find it difficult to believe anyone COULD know that soon...but then maybe that's my prejudice/Western thinking coming through...or maybe I just haven't met the right boy (I guess I must have been the "right" girl for some of them...or they were just confused).

                            Love...relationships...fun, exciting, frustrating, sad...can't imagine life without it/them! Boys or dogs!!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Flying_Dutchman
                              It pays to be careful here when marrying japanese.

                              Long and hard....

                              Of course I'm talking about the length of time and extent to which you should think about marrying...anyone for that matter.

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