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  • Really bad situation

    Hey guys,

    I've got a bit of a problem and im looking for some advice.. Who am I kidding.. I have a MASSIVE problem!!

    Basically, earlier this year I posted about having some dramas with my japanese girlfriend before I moved from overseas and things really have not gotten any better.. and today they got worse.

    Ever since arriving in Japan I have been a little strapped for cash. I have been looking for a job but as some of you may know, its not easy at the moment.
    Anyway, I told my girlfriend of around 2 years, that I originally wasn't going to teach private english lessons (she really didnt want me to because she is worried about me cheating on her).

    Well as I said, things have gotten worse for me financially so I have been looking at all my options.
    About 2 weeks ago I signed up for a few places to teach private english lessons and started to get some replies.
    Last week I had a lesson and my girlfriend lost her s@&#!! In her defense, my lesson did take a lot longer than I told her, but really, thats a matter for me to sort out.

    I told my girlfriend that I was going to start appying for these jobs and basically haven't done anything behind her back, but she really is having a hard time handling this. Things have always been pretty full on (my girlfriend breaks up with me so many times in a week I really lose count!) but it is really hitting a new level now.
    Basically, if ever I get an email from a student, she takes that as the all clear to get all Brittany Spears crazy on me if I dont tell her about it straight away.
    This is all bad but is NOTHING in comparison to what she did today.

    --A little bit more background--
    Last night I had a job interview and before my interview I had to take a shower and get ready. While I was in the shower I missed her calls for about 30min. When I got out of the shower I had a ridiculous amount of messages telling me that she doesnt want to see me any more and asking if I am with anyone. After my interview I finally spoke with her and had another fight. The fight ended with her saying "f@#k off" and she didnt want to see me again.

    Ok, so that was last night.
    Today she knew I had a private lesson but really wanted to meet after the lesson. At first I was, stupidly, saying it would be ok to meet up. After a little bit of thinking, it all started to become clear that all she wanted to do was keep tabs on me and check out that I wasnt getting up to any funny business in my private lesson.
    So a few hours before my lesson I told her that I didnt want to meet up and said that it was a bad idea. She didnt listen to that and insisted we meet up.

    So long story short, I finished my lesson and to my suprise my girlfriend came running up to me just after I left my student. It turns out she arrived at the meeting place where I met my student and FOLLOWED me the whole time I was conducting this lesson!!!
    She apparantly walked everywhere we walked, sat down near where we sat down, and just really freaked me out!!

    To her credit she did tell me all of this when we first saw each other, but that of course really doesnt matter.

    So, I know this kind of behaviour is not normal, but I really just wanted some other peoples opinions on what they thought of the situation?
    Has anyone ever had this kind of thing happen to them? Is this typical (hard to believe) Japanese girlfriend behaviour and not just specific to me?

    I appreciate any advice.

    Cheers.

  • #2
    Originally posted by annan881 View Post
    The fight ended with her saying "f@#k off" and she didnt want to see me again.
    Time for you to take her up on this. Dump her and go back home.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by annan881 View Post
      To her credit she did tell me all of this when we first saw each other, but that of course really doesnt matter.

      So, I know this kind of behaviour is not normal, but I really just wanted some other peoples opinions on what they thought of the situation?
      Has anyone ever had this kind of thing happen to them? Is this typical (hard to believe) Japanese girlfriend behaviour and not just specific to me?

      I appreciate any advice.

      Cheers.
      Its not only not normal shes totally freaking paranoid and possessive. You are an adult and she treats you like her pet or her personal toy. Not to mention that she doesnt even trust you. Is that a person you want to be going out with?

      PS its not because shes Japanese (as if all Japanese women behave that way) but its behavior particular to her as a woman.

      Comment


      • #4
        Imagine living with this person for the rest of your life!! file the restraining order NOW, and avoid the rush later on!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Why do you stay with her? That is not normal, rational adult behaviour, and it doesn't look like that will change. You are going to have to find some way to get out of this, it can't be worth it to stay with her. Do you really need that kind of stress in your life? No, that is not typical Japanese female behaviour at all, it actually suggests mental illness.

          Comment


          • #6
            May I sugesst throwing yourself in front of a fast incoming vehicle so the impact could wake you the fcuk up.

            Why not buy the lovely GF a knife set so it could ease her transition from paranoia to psycosis.

            Comment


            • #7
              The House is Haunted!

              Dude! Just make a plan to escape. Japan is an expensive place to live. You need to make some yen. In the real adult world most women understand this.
              Nothing personal its just business. Be a man. Move on! There are many,many women in this city who won't treat you like a doormat!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by annan881 View Post
                Hey guys,

                I've got a bit of a problem and im looking for some advice.. Who am I kidding.. I have a MASSIVE problem!!

                Basically, earlier this year I posted about having some dramas with my japanese girlfriend before I moved from overseas and things really have not gotten any better.. and today they got worse.

                Ever since arriving in Japan I have been a little strapped for cash. I have been looking for a job but as some of you may know, its not easy at the moment.
                Anyway, I told my girlfriend of around 2 years, that I originally wasn't going to teach private english lessons (she really didnt want me to because she is worried about me cheating on her).

                Well as I said, things have gotten worse for me financially so I have been looking at all my options.
                About 2 weeks ago I signed up for a few places to teach private english lessons and started to get some replies.
                Last week I had a lesson and my girlfriend lost her s@&#!! In her defense, my lesson did take a lot longer than I told her, but really, thats a matter for me to sort out.

                I told my girlfriend that I was going to start appying for these jobs and basically haven't done anything behind her back, but she really is having a hard time handling this. Things have always been pretty full on (my girlfriend breaks up with me so many times in a week I really lose count!) but it is really hitting a new level now.
                Basically, if ever I get an email from a student, she takes that as the all clear to get all Brittany Spears crazy on me if I dont tell her about it straight away.
                This is all bad but is NOTHING in comparison to what she did today.

                --A little bit more background--
                Last night I had a job interview and before my interview I had to take a shower and get ready. While I was in the shower I missed her calls for about 30min. When I got out of the shower I had a ridiculous amount of messages telling me that she doesnt want to see me any more and asking if I am with anyone. After my interview I finally spoke with her and had another fight. The fight ended with her saying "f@#k off" and she didnt want to see me again.

                Ok, so that was last night.
                Today she knew I had a private lesson but really wanted to meet after the lesson. At first I was, stupidly, saying it would be ok to meet up. After a little bit of thinking, it all started to become clear that all she wanted to do was keep tabs on me and check out that I wasnt getting up to any funny business in my private lesson.
                So a few hours before my lesson I told her that I didnt want to meet up and said that it was a bad idea. She didnt listen to that and insisted we meet up.

                So long story short, I finished my lesson and to my suprise my girlfriend came running up to me just after I left my student. It turns out she arrived at the meeting place where I met my student and FOLLOWED me the whole time I was conducting this lesson!!!
                She apparantly walked everywhere we walked, sat down near where we sat down, and just really freaked me out!!

                To her credit she did tell me all of this when we first saw each other, but that of course really doesnt matter.

                So, I know this kind of behaviour is not normal, but I really just wanted some other peoples opinions on what they thought of the situation?
                Has anyone ever had this kind of thing happen to them? Is this typical (hard to believe) Japanese girlfriend behaviour and not just specific to me?

                I appreciate any advice.

                Cheers.

                If this isn't a troll post, then I am openly wondering why on earth you've been going out with such a psycho for two years already ?! Has she been financially supporting you for the past year or two?

                It looks like when you decide to dump her, you are going to have to change your locks and as much of your personal contact information as possible.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Japanese woman = pyschotic monster roused from the depths of hell

                  You need to have this beast put down at your earliest convenience. Although I suspect that you secretly enjoy the leash and lashings, otherwise you and your balls would have moved on already. There are hot high school girls walking up train station steps everywhere. Stop wasting your life please.

                  Some good news for you though - girls this jealous and convinced of your infidelity will exact their own revenge and you won't even know about it. Enjoy.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by annan881 View Post
                    Hey guys,

                    I've got a bit of a problem and im looking for some advice.. Who am I kidding.. I have a MASSIVE problem!!

                    What the hell kind of advice are you expecting? She is clearly a nutbag, and you need to get rid of her and go back to the Isle of Wight (shot in the dark, close?).

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by annan881 View Post
                      ... So, I know this kind of behaviour is not normal, but I really just wanted some other peoples opinions on what they thought of the situation?...
                      Allow me to reminisce, and say something slightly different...

                      I once heard a variation of the following (modified to apply to your situation):

                      The best GF you ever had was your Ex-GF; The best GF you might have is your next GF... but the worst GF you have is the one you are with.

                      Basically, few people are 100% entirely satisfied with their partner, be it a GF/BF or spouse. After some time together, we find faults in each other. You can get a clear sense of that in GP.

                      My feeling is... if you are posting (and it is genuine) you seem to love this woman -and are trying to understand her character. I think it is valiant. Most would tell you to give up and leave her. I on the other hand will say: try to understand her while communicating your feelings to her. It may be worthwhile.

                      All relationships have their minor faults. But, once we leave our partners (or our partner leaves us) we forget about the good points. And, sometimes... we regret it .

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        To control the woman and get her to do what you want, all you have to do is to bang your way through the back door with out any grease messy but after that she will behave and be docile.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by NalgasCQ View Post
                          Allow me to reminisce, and say something slightly different...

                          I once heard a variation of the following (modified to apply to your situation):

                          The best GF you ever had was your Ex-GF; The best GF you might have is your next GF... but the worst GF you have is the one you are with.

                          Basically, few people are 100% entirely satisfied with their partner, be it a GF/BF or spouse. After some time together, we find faults in each other. You can get a clear sense of that in GP.

                          My feeling is... if you are posting (and it is genuine) you seem to love this woman -and are trying to understand her character. I think it is valiant. Most would tell you to give up and leave her. I on the other hand will say: try to understand her while communicating your feelings to her. It may be worthwhile.

                          All relationships have their minor faults. But, once we leave our partners (or our partner leaves us) we forget about the good points. And, sometimes... we regret it .
                          How sweet...and how terribly wrong.

                          I've been with the same woman for ten years, and we have to make allowances for one another of course. Relationships are about give and take, compromise, learning to accept each other blah blah blah

                          But all that is based on the premise that neither of the participants in the relationship is a bunny boiler. If you sense your girlfriend is a ____ING MENTALIST you should probably move along....

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Sterling View Post
                            If this isn't a troll post, then I am openly wondering why on earth you've been going out with such a psycho for two years already ?! Has she been financially supporting you for the past year or two?

                            It looks like when you decide to dump her, you are going to have to change your locks and as much of your personal contact information as possible.
                            I honestly couldnt tell you why I havent broken up with her. Its been bad, but nothing as bad as what happened yesterday. But yeah, there has been a million other things that have set off warning signs.
                            Like every relationship though, she is good in some other ways, but obviously this is really hard to deal with.

                            The reason why I'm posting this is so I can deal with this the way I know I have to. Everyones right though, I should grow a set and deal with this.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ben ali View Post
                              ...and how terribly wrong...
                              I could be. Then again, perhaps I am not.

                              The point is... OP is asking for advice. I think he wants different honest perspectives... like mine and yes like yours.

                              We do not all share the same backgrounds, life styles, nor mentality. You have your belief and I have mine. Calling me wrong doesn't make your words any more correct.

                              Comment

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