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whats with the whole kechi (stingy) business

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  • whats with the whole kechi (stingy) business

    Hi,
    I met this j-girl in Oz. most of my posts will be about her and my ways to learn how a j-girl's mind work.
    This girl stayed with me for about half a yr, i never asked her for her share of rent or utilities or groceries. never expected but i thought it would be courteous if she bought groceries every now and then (I was sharing house with other guys who didnt expect any share from her either because shes my gf) whenever she went to store to buy something she always bought 1 tomato or 1 onion (eventho she always saw me spending about $200 on groceries everytime). whenever she wanted to buy something(other than groceries) she always thought about it as if shes signing a mortgage. when she was leaving she said she wanted to buy a thankyou gift for everyone. we went to buy but again she was reluctant to spend 10-15 bucks for a gift. she bought be something tho. I mean these guys who along with me were picking her tab for months.... I told her once that she was a bit kechi with money which she said she didnt know. Is this normal for a ___ girl?

    moving on she invited me to japan. I asked her how much money should i bring with me for one week. she replied dont worry as im the guest and i looked after her for so long.. bear in mind im a student now and work part-time to pay for bills so not much savings as before (if any). any how i manage to save ju man yen just to be on safe side. I went there and same thing happened she told me after picking me from airport that she forgot to get cash from ATM. i told her dont worry i have money and we can use that.. we spent quite lavishly on things including shouting her siblings dinner. entry to few places.. hotels etc etc. and manage to spend everything in 3-4days. i told her i have no money left so then she took ichi man out but whenever we were out she wouldnt even wanted to buy 100 yen sweet without saying how takai it is... sorry it seems like a rant but moving on. she must have spend like 3man in 3-4days with great difficulty and i felt helpless when i wanted to buy lunch etc and i manage to spend another $1000 on credit card too.

    what do u guys make of it??

  • #2
    Originally posted by しむぱるじん View Post
    Hi,
    I met this j-girl in Oz. most of my posts will be about her and my ways to learn how a j-girl's mind work.
    This girl stayed with me for about half a yr, i never asked her for her share of rent or utilities or groceries. never expected but i thought it would be courteous if she bought groceries every now and then (I was sharing house with other guys who didnt expect any share from her either because shes my gf) whenever she went to store to buy something she always bought 1 tomato or 1 onion (eventho she always saw me spending about $200 on groceries everytime). whenever she wanted to buy something(other than groceries) she always thought about it as if shes signing a mortgage. when she was leaving she said she wanted to buy a thankyou gift for everyone. we went to buy but again she was reluctant to spend 10-15 bucks for a gift. she bought be something tho. I mean these guys who along with me were picking her tab for months.... I told her once that she was a bit kechi with money which she said she didnt know. Is this normal for a ___ girl?

    moving on she invited me to japan. I asked her how much money should i bring with me for one week. she replied dont worry as im the guest and i looked after her for so long.. bear in mind im a student now and work part-time to pay for bills so not much savings as before (if any). any how i manage to save ju man yen just to be on safe side. I went there and same thing happened she told me after picking me from airport that she forgot to get cash from ATM. i told her dont worry i have money and we can use that.. we spent quite lavishly on things including shouting her siblings dinner. entry to few places.. hotels etc etc. and manage to spend everything in 3-4days. i told her i have no money left so then she took ichi man out but whenever we were out she wouldnt even wanted to buy 100 yen sweet without saying how takai it is... sorry it seems like a rant but moving on. she must have spend like 3man in 3-4days with great difficulty and i felt helpless when i wanted to buy lunch etc and i manage to spend another $1000 on credit card too.

    what do u guys make of it??
    Smart girl.

    Comment


    • #3
      I've seen worse. They spend their money on themselves, only.

      So you need to pay for her everytime, like... And yes, unfortanely this is courtesy and japanese culture. So there aint nothing you can do about it.

      Unless you make her fall for you really (rly, rly x10) bad. In this case she might be the one who is spending the kane. Why? Because so that she can be with you. Which is what she wants. Her number one priority. Which now is (like most other girls) probably shopping or eating out or something.

      But then again, warihan and sh-t like that doesnt exist in Japan so might as well get us 2'et

      Cheers.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Smash View Post
        I've seen worse. They spend their money on themselves, only.

        So you need to pay for her everytime, like... And yes, unfortanely this is courtesy and japanese culture. So there aint nothing you can do about it.

        Unless you make her fall for you really (rly, rly x10) bad. In this case she might be the one who is spending the kane. Why? Because so that she can be with you. Which is what she wants. Her number one priority. Which now is (like most other girls) probably shopping or eating out or something.

        But then again, warihan and sh-t like that doesnt exist in Japan so might as well get us 2'et

        Cheers.
        hmmm. Is this really the way most girls are over here? I have been dating this girl for a while now and I pay for everything, all the time. It's not much but it makes me think. Like lets say we go out to eat at an izakaya, she doesn't even ask if she can order something, she just does.
        It's allways just a drink or two and its not like she's just hanging out with me to get free meals and gifts (well at least i think so), but it's still kind of rude isn't it? When it comes down to paying the bill she allways stays way behind while looking at VERY INTERESTING STUFF like flyers and sh*t or her phone and lets me walk up to pay the bill. I mean WTF. I have to say she has no job and is a student so I guess she doesn't have much but still.

        The other girls I dated up until now allways paid at least half or more and even if I just paid up front they would give it to me later at some point. So whats the deal with this one?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by 9tailedfox View Post
          hmmm. Is this really the way most girls are over here? I have been dating this girl for a while now and I pay for everything, all the time. It's not much but it makes me think. Like lets say we go out to eat at an izakaya, she doesn't even ask if she can order something, she just does.
          It's allways just a drink or two and its not like she's just hanging out with me to get free meals and gifts (well at least i think so), but it's still kind of rude isn't it? When it comes down to paying the bill she allways stays way behind while looking at VERY INTERESTING STUFF like flyers and sh*t or her phone and lets me walk up to pay the bill. I mean WTF. I have to say she has no job and is a student so I guess she doesn't have much but still.

          The other girls I dated up until now allways paid at least half or more and even if I just paid up front they would give it to me later at some point. So whats the deal with this one?
          That's because SOME girls still place a high value on their sexual favors and have the sense to make sure their guy does so as well. It's a good thing you don't tell her how you really feel... She seems like the closest thing to a lady you'll get these days. She might just be enough of a lady to dump you and look for a man.
          Last edited by jinseinosensei; 2009-09-22, 02:59 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jinseinosensei View Post
            That's because SOME girls still place a high value on their sexual favors and have the sense to make sure their guy does so as well. It's a good thing you don't tell her how you really feel... She seems like the closest thing to a lady you'll get these days. She might just be enough of a lady to dump you and look for a man.
            I used to date this chinese girl a while back and yes her attitude (along with her mother) was if they are putting out they should be entitled to things.. which in my opinion is closed to prostitution.

            The way i brought up was that Man pays for things. but maturing in OZ i realised there is plenty of chicks who want to take u for a ride... If i have money i have no problem in paying as i did most of the time... but its just courtesy to show that they want to contribute... or look back at the original post regarding buying thankyou gifts for sharemates (who i think were out of pocket by atleast $500 each during her stay) its not that they expected something.. but where is the good manners and common courtesy gone????

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by しむぱるじん View Post
              I used to date this chinese girl a while back and yes her attitude (along with her mother) was if they are putting out they should be entitled to things.. which in my opinion is closed to prostitution.

              The way i brought up was that Man pays for things. but maturing in OZ i realised there is plenty of chicks who want to take u for a ride... If i have money i have no problem in paying as i did most of the time... but its just courtesy to show that they want to contribute... or look back at the original post regarding buying thankyou gifts for sharemates (who i think were out of pocket by atleast $500 each during her stay) its not that they expected something.. but where is the good manners and common courtesy gone????
              I look at things differently from most here. I imagine my daughter, one of my little sisters, a niece, or a long time student being the girl in question and I can't help but think that it's not at all unfair for a man to pay, even when he's not getting laid. Especially considering the difference in the needs of a male as compared to those of a female. I teach the young women around me that they should NOT put out for any man who doesn't demonstrate that he's potential marriage material. That means he has to be able and willing to support the woman or he's not yet a man, but a boy looking for a toy. It also means that he doesn't have enough money left over for collecting STDs and other women to please. Of course, I also teach them to be considerate of his needs, conservative regarding luxuries, and ready to pay for their own weddings.

              Basically, I teach them to be ladies who value themselves and expect men to agree on the worth. As men, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Either a woman is worth it or she's not. Women who are fine with experimentation deserve to pay their way. Those who want to be special can't afford to give it away. Any sex without the promise or at least potential of marriage is prostitution and the only variable is price. Giving it up for nothing is no better than giving it up for cash.
              Last edited by jinseinosensei; 2009-09-24, 12:01 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by jinseinosensei View Post
                Basically, I teach them to be ladies who value themselves and expect men to agree on the worth. As men, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Either a woman is worth it or she's not. Women who are fine with experimentation deserve to pay their way. Those who want to be special can't afford to give it away. Any sex without the promise or at least potential of marriage is prostitution and the only variable is price. Giving it up for nothing is no better than giving it up for cash.
                so where is the whole gender equality gone??? its like females are the one who wants to have their cake and eat it too, not us!
                ok if u read my post clearly its not only about paying her share at the izakaya!
                lets say one of ur daughter or neice etc went and stayed somewhere. and the guys other than her partner really really cared for her (like their own e.g sister) dont u think she should atleast show her some sort of appreciation?? im not saying that buy them a raymond weil watch.. but like a card to say thankyou and probably like a $5 gift. like they say its the thought that counts not the price... is that too much to ask?? sorry to say i sure hope ur not teaching the girls around u to act like a tight a$$.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by しむぱるじん View Post
                  Hi,
                  I met this j-girl in Oz. most of my posts will be about her and my ways to learn how a j-girl's mind work.
                  This girl stayed with me for about half a yr, i never asked her for her share of rent or utilities or groceries. never expected but i thought it would be courteous if she bought groceries every now and then (I was sharing house with other guys who didnt expect any share from her either because shes my gf) whenever she went to store to buy something she always bought 1 tomato or 1 onion (eventho she always saw me spending about $200 on groceries everytime). whenever she wanted to buy something(other than groceries) she always thought about it as if shes signing a mortgage. when she was leaving she said she wanted to buy a thankyou gift for everyone. we went to buy but again she was reluctant to spend 10-15 bucks for a gift. she bought be something tho. I mean these guys who along with me were picking her tab for months.... I told her once that she was a bit kechi with money which she said she didnt know. Is this normal for a ___ girl?

                  moving on she invited me to japan. I asked her how much money should i bring with me for one week. she replied dont worry as im the guest and i looked after her for so long.. bear in mind im a student now and work part-time to pay for bills so not much savings as before (if any). any how i manage to save ju man yen just to be on safe side. I went there and same thing happened she told me after picking me from airport that she forgot to get cash from ATM. i told her dont worry i have money and we can use that.. we spent quite lavishly on things including shouting her siblings dinner. entry to few places.. hotels etc etc. and manage to spend everything in 3-4days. i told her i have no money left so then she took ichi man out but whenever we were out she wouldnt even wanted to buy 100 yen sweet without saying how takai it is... sorry it seems like a rant but moving on. she must have spend like 3man in 3-4days with great difficulty and i felt helpless when i wanted to buy lunch etc and i manage to spend another $1000 on credit card too.

                  what do u guys make of it??
                  Men should expect to pay. If just hanging out-both should pay, under 6 months-both,over 6 months-the guy. I believe in sharing, if the guy says it's ok, I'll get him something later. This girl was clearly a user and a ____. I hope you got your money's worth.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by jinseinosensei View Post
                    I teach the young women around me that they should put out for any man who doesn't demonstrate that he's potential marriage material. That means he has to be able and willing to support the woman or he's not yet a man, but a boy looking for a toy. It also means that he doesn't have enough money left over for collecting STDs and other women to please. Of course, I also teach them to be considerate of his needs, conservative regarding luxuries, and ready to pay for their own weddings.

                    Basically, I teach them to be ladies who value themselves and expect men to agree on the worth. As men, we can't have our cake and eat it too. Either a woman is worth it or she's not. Women who are fine with experimentation deserve to pay their way. Those who want to be special can't afford to give it away. Any sex without the promise or at least potential of marriage is prostitution and the only variable is price. Giving it up for nothing is no better than giving it up for cash.
                    Who would have thought our very own Jinseinosensei was actually the one and only.....

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULnBiiKT0kM

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      OK, I know this is gonna sting, but:

                      Your gf is pretty much a prostitute. If you don't believe me, stop paying for stuff and see how long you guys stay together.

                      But don't worry, it's not just a "j-girl" thing, it's a woman thing (and before the few women on here go crazy, how many times have you heard your girl friends, when life gets a bit difficult for them, sigh and say "I just need to find a rich husband so I can have a comfortable, easy life" [or words to that effect]?).

                      FWIW, OP it does sound like you were enjoying playing the role of monied Pimp (until you ran out of cash, that is).

                      The solution here is to either:

                      a) be a real Pimp and rent her out to other fools. Your flatmates would have been ideal customers to start with and frankly it's a wasted opportunity you didn't pass her around in exchange for cash so she could earn her keep (they were probably thinking this but were just too polite to suggest it). That way you can turn a liability into an asset and generate an income stream; OR

                      b) find a woman who stands on her own two feet and "just likes you for you", not for how much you pay for her services.


                      So the moral of the story is: stop hanging with wHoRes unless you have the cash to back up your Player lifestyle, coz otherwise it's just embarrassing for them and you.

                      Kind regards,

                      G.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post
                        OK, I know this is gonna sting, but:
                        sure did. but i think i should know better than to discuss my life with ppl hoping to get some nice replies even after seeing how ppl here treat each other with glorious remarks.

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post
                        Your gf is pretty much a prostitute.
                        only because someone has a stingy mentality which i think most of japanese ppl have doesnt make them a prostitute. unless ofcourse u have some family ties with them and u regard them as highly respectable.

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post
                        stop paying for stuff and see how long you guys stay together.

                        But don't worry, it's not just a "j-girl" thing, it's a woman thing (and before the few women on here go crazy, how many times have you heard your girl friends, when life gets a bit difficult for them, sigh and say "I just need to find a rich husband so I can have a comfortable, easy life" [or words to that effect]?).
                        maybe the only thing i couldnt be offended about in the whole post. thanks i will try that.

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post

                        FWIW, OP it does sound like you were enjoying playing the role of monied Pimp (until you ran out of cash, that is).
                        again whats with the judgment ??? dont even know me from bar of soap!!!how bad was ur childhood??? well actually u cant even blame it on childhood. most mentally capable human know how to respect others. only because u have a sense of security that no ones gonna come and knock ur teeth out doesnt give u the right to dribble whatever comes in ur under developed brain.

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post

                        The solution here is to either:

                        a) be a real Pimp and rent her out to other fools. Your flatmates would have been ideal customers to start with and frankly it's a wasted opportunity you didn't pass her around in exchange for cash so she could earn her keep (they were probably thinking this but were just too polite to suggest it). That way you can turn a liability into an asset and generate an income stream; OR
                        again some of us actually do come here to find answers because vast gap between cultures... by that i mean REAL ANSWERS. not your personal outcomes of business ventures that u and ur buddies fantasize about while indulging in group vvank session! read my post retard!!! i did mention my mates treated her like their sis. now unless in ur upbringing it was ok to do it with siblings! and not everyone is so unfortunate to have untrustworthy mates like u do!

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post

                        b) find a woman who stands on her own two feet and "just likes you for you", not for how much you pay for her services.
                        ok yes thankyou for good advice

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post

                        So the moral of the story is: stop hanging with wHoRes unless you have the cash to back up your Player lifestyle, coz otherwise it's just embarrassing for them and you.
                        blah blah blahdi blah.... seriously dude how sad is ur life??? is this ur fav pass time? go n hit the gym or something and vent out some of ur anger... if that doesnt help go n see a shrink or maybe go to an asylum for a break.
                        sorry for personal attacks... I truly am! but u asked for it. and guess what now im no better than you... cheers mate.
                        By the way once a wise man said "If you have nothing nice to say. keep ur mouth shut"
                        Im starting to think that this relationship forum is only a place for tw@ts like u to take ur steam out cuz ur bf is cheating on you!!

                        Originally posted by Gadzooks View Post
                        Kind regards,

                        G.
                        hahaha u crack me up!! same to u mate.
                        sorry if stung a bit

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by しむぱるじん View Post
                          so where is the whole gender equality gone??? its like females are the one who wants to have their cake and eat it too, not us!
                          ok if u read my post clearly its not only about paying her share at the izakaya!
                          lets say one of ur daughter or neice etc went and stayed somewhere. and the guys other than her partner really really cared for her (like their own e.g sister) dont u think she should atleast show her some sort of appreciation?? im not saying that buy them a raymond weil watch.. but like a card to say thankyou and probably like a $5 gift. like they say its the thought that counts not the price... is that too much to ask?? sorry to say i sure hope ur not teaching the girls around u to act like a tight a$$.
                          It seems to me that the girl is there for YOU and not the housemates or herself. I'm SURE that SHE sees it that way. You should be the one to buy gifts to show appreciation for the hospitality they showed your girl. It's a man's world and women know it. They try to get every little service, accessory, and amenity possible, while chanting a Feminist mantra that has been drilled into their heads. Very few of them actually believe that they are "equal" to men, as that would require them to step down a few rungs from the status they've always held.

                          Anyway..., I'm just telling you what I think women want and what I think they SHOULD want. I've been getting my head bitten off by some people here just because I recently said that women want to have AND eat their cake. I don't disagree with you on that point. The difference is that women are expected to be fickle, spoiled, and irrational. It's part of God's training for us men. It's practice for when we must tolerate their lunacy during pregnancy, their vile words during labor, and their mood swings during child rearing.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You know I completely forgot to reply. *thanks to jins etymology of woman*

                            If your GF is stingy then communicate your feelings regarding the issue. If she shrugs you off and is not understanding then I would agree with Gad and say she's a whore.

                            Does she work? Does she have a steady flow of income? I would understand if she were a student, to a certain degree.

                            Buying one of everything when shopping is just selfish in my opinion. It shows a lack of consideration for others, but then again not everyone is raised with the same etiquette.

                            You can't blame a barbarian for being what it is, it was raised that way.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              hmmm jin some of the stuff u say (eventho not totally) i do agree with to certain extent.

                              thanks Jac... that is obviously my last option not the first one

                              totally agreed Ron with the upbringing comment.. but that is my whole reason of writing on this forum. Is that normal japanese upbringing that it is expected to the MAN to pay for everything without the girl to even give a fake reach to purse? i think i want to learn about this culture more.. If jin is bringing up Japanese girls i think that would be the Norm lol :P

                              To be honest i dont mind paying on most occasions but i think this shouldnt be expected of me as im a full-time student myself.

                              I think I will talk to her soon. thanks for ur replies

                              peace

                              Comment

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